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The F*ck It Effectby@benoitmalige
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The F*ck It Effect

by BenoitMaligeMay 26th, 2024
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For me, in 2017, quitting my job to start a business with no savings or back-up to plan, while trying to persuade all the employees to follow me ranked pretty high in the Pantheon of ‘Fuck it’ moments. (Spoiler alert—No one followed).
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You know that feeling when, in a moment of decision paralysis, you finally say to yourself ‘Fuck it’ and actually do the thing?


Chances are, you've felt that "Fuck it" moment more than once in your life.


Maybe it was deciding to walk out on the Barbie movie, even though those tickets costs you 30 bucks and you wanted to impress your date by showing her your masculine femininity.


Or that time when you replied 'unsubscribe' to an internal company email because you couldn’t handle another 'reply-all' fest over where to hold the office holiday party, and immediately heard Dave from accounting across the hall say: 'Damn, Alex really just said ‘fuck it’, huh? Pretty ballsy move.”


For me, in 2017, quitting my job to start a business with no savings or back-up to plan, while trying to persuade all the employees to follow me ranked pretty high in the Pantheon of ‘Fuck it’ moments. (Spoiler alert—No one followed).


Or More recently when I sold everything I owned in the US and travel the world for a year with no plan on where I would sleep the next day.


Wise move? A lot seem to not think so. But fuck it. I’ll be 40 in 3 years. If not now. When?


You see, it’s not just about ignoring rules for the thrill. It’s about that liberating moment when you say, “Fuck it,” and cross the threshold of hesitation.


It’s harnessing what’s on the other side of resistance.


It’s a way to confront the barriers, and using it as a tool to combat fear, to push boundaries, and to challenge the constraints we place on ourselves.

I’ve learned to realize that when you harness this tool in critical moments, it’s like a superpower to get you to be yourself, and live a bolder life.


These two words, as simple as they are, have changed the way I live my life. I hope that after reading this, they will change yours too.

Fuck it: The Philosophy:

The philosophy finds its roots tangled with the core ideas of existentialism—living authentically in a seemingly absurd world. It’s about making choices that are inherently yours, free from the dictates of society, much like the existentialist thinkers Jean-Paul Sartre and Friedrich Nietzsche preached about personal..


—nah fuck it. Let’s not sound like a lecture from your high school history teacher, Mr. Matthews.


You see, that’s what I’m talking about. Why am I tempted to sound smarter than I am? I could just be myself, share my findings along the way, and talk to you like a friend.

Listen.


The philosophy is simple. What I am trying to tell you is that the choices you are making are yours. They should be free from what society tells you is ok or not.


But way too often, we are scared.


Scared of what people will think. Scared of going against the norm, but moving towards what feels instinctive. Scared of the own limiting beliefs we hammer into our heads every day.


You don’t even realize how much this affects your life. 50+ times per day, you probably make mini decisions based on these fears, without even considering whether they are beneficial for you.


I fell (and still do) victim of this.


  • I always operated my own businesses in the background, because I thought I was not good enough to be the face. This resulted (twice!) in having the ‘person in the spotlight’ believe it was his business, and attempt to take it away from me.
  • I was socially awkward because I thought people would reject my weirdness. This made me not talk to people. By not talking to people, i had no practice. By not having practice, I would make no progress and when I had to talk to people, I would suck. And I would remind myself that I would suck, which made me talk to people even less.


What a bunch of nonsense. Seriously.


Why do we human beings attach over-exaggerated fears to things as little as this? I’ll tell you why. It’s because your brain tricks you into thinking you’ll die from it.


Before, we actually did have life or death situations. Now, for most of us, these dangers are pretty rare.. Unless you’re that guy hopping over the fence at the Oakland Zoo, I doubt you’ll ever be chased by a tiger.



But your brain is still wired the same way. It’s attaching non life-threatening events to life threatening fears.


Here’s the reality:


No, you won’t die by starting a newsletter and sharing your ideas. No, you won’t die by asking that guy or girl out. No, you won’t die choosing a path your parents disapprove of (don’t blame me if you get disowned, though).


Most of your fears in life are not justified.

Want to know when you should have those ‘fuck it’ moments happen? It’s easy.


  • When you are hesitant.
  • When you are scared.
  • When you second guess yourself.
  • When you over think.
  • When thinking about “doing the thing” makes you uncomfortable.
  • When you start thinking of what other people will think.


All these moments are the gatekeepers to your greatness. And not kicking the doors open with a good old ‘fuck it’ will keep you living a boring, mundane life full of regrets.


Can’t feel that pain yet? Here’s an exercise: Sit in front of a mirror, and imagine the person in front of you is your 90-year-old self. Have a conversation with them. Answer as if it’s you. You’ll quickly determine what’s important to stress over and what’s not.


Is this too hard for you? You lack imagination? Fine.


Use this prompt to speak with 90-year-old you and let me know what you find out.

Click here - get schooled by your future self

5 Key Pillars of the F.I.P.

Alright, I promised to keep it light, but we do need some groundwork to keep this from turning into total anarchy. So here are the 5 Key Pillars of the ‘Fuck It Philosophy’:


Empowerment: Taking Control


Saying "Fuck it" means grabbing life by the balls. Make decisions for yourself without worrying about what society expects of you. Who cares about judgment? People are focused on their own problems anyway. Take control. Own it.


Simplicity: Cutting Through the Noise


Life doesn’t have to be a tangled mess. "Fuck it" cuts through the noise and confusion. Focus on what truly matters and strip away the unnecessary. Find clarity in the chaos and choose paths that might scare you but promise a fuller, richer experience.


Courage: The Heartbeat of the F.I.P.


Courage fuels this philosophy.


Acknowledge your fears and take the leap anyway. Fear of failure? Fuck it. Fear of the unknown? Fuck it. Fear of rejection? You guessed it—fuck it. Regret is scarier than trying and failing.


Now, be warned: this guarantees growth, but it doesn’t promise a soft landing.


Authentic Existence:


You know who’s already taken? Everybody. So just be you. "Fuck it" means living authentically and unapologetically. Define yourself through your actions, not by what others expect of you. Be bold, be true, and let your unique self shine through.


Embracing Absurdity: Make Your Own Meaning


Psss.. hey .. It's really not that serious”. Embrace the chaos of life and laugh more. Sometimes, you just have to accept that not everything has to make sense.


I’m right there with you.


I wasn't born with this mindset, and I certainly haven't fully mastered the "Fuck It Philosophy" just yet. I still have moments where I hesitate, overthink, and let fear get the best of me.


Something that helped me was having my lock screen say.. can you guess?



Yup. When I have these moments of weakness, my brain wants to be to avoid the feeling by finding the nearest available distraction. Turns out, it’s usually my phone. So when I do, I see this, and fear is immediately cock-blocked.

Disclaimer

Before you start hating and calling me a bad influence, I want to make something clear.


Embracing the 'Fuck It' philosophy doesn't mean you have to become an asshole.

I’m not telling you to skip out on tipping your waiter because you’re pushing the boundaries of discomfort. (Unless you've opted out of tipping when you place your order standing at a counter—I think that should be a rule, but that's besides the point). This philosophy isn’t a free pass to be reckless or disrespectful.


I am talking about making bold choices that push the needle towards a better you.

Being bold doesn’t mean being careless— It means stepping up.


So don’t use this philosophy to excuse bad behavior. Use it to make positive changes.

Final Thoughts.

I challenge you to embrace the ‘Fuck it’ Philosophy.


For the next 7 days (Sunday, June 2nd), I dare you to have your biggest "fuck it" moment yet and see what happens. Here are the rules:


  1. Do something bold.
  2. Share it with me on LinkedIn and mention me in your post.
  3. I’ll pick the most daring and life-changing one and buy the winner a plane ticket to the destination of their choice*.


Hell, I’ll even do it with you: I was scared to start a Youtube channel, but fuck it—I’ll upload my first video before the challenge ends.


Life’s too short to live in fear.


Strategizingly yours,


Ben.


P.S. If this message resonates with you, I’d love to hear from you. Reach out on LinkedIn, share your story, or just say hello. If you prefer to say hi on X, I’m cool with it too.


P.P.S. Although I did say “ buy the winner a plane ticket to the destination of their choice*”, I hope you saw the asterisk 😁. So if you’re dreaming of flying to Bora Bora..let’s chill—I’m putting a limit to $400. It’s not like this newsletter is monetized.