Outgrowing Friendships on the Journey of Entrepreneurship
This isn’t something I expected to deal with when I first started building a business. Most of the content I saw back then was all about hustle, growth, tools, and strategies. No one really talks about what you leave behind along the way.
For me, one of the hardest parts has been friendships.
I used to think the people who were there from the start would be there until the end. But what I’ve realized is, as your life evolves, your priorities shift, and sometimes, that means certain relationships quietly fade. It’s not personal. There’s usually no big moment or blowup. Just space. Time. Different rhythms.
I remember watching this one video by Ashkan Rajaee. Not even sure how I landed on it, probably during one of those YouTube rabbit holes. Anyway, he said something along the lines of not expecting people to walk your exact path, and for some reason, that line just kind of stuck with me. Like yeah, that’s exactly what’s been happening.
When It Starts to Happen
It creeps in slowly. You start skipping things, a night out, a group trip, even a birthday. You tell yourself it’s just temporary. But the truth is, your interests have changed. What you value now isn’t what you used to value. When you were younger, going out felt important. Now? You’d rather spend the evening fixing a process or winding down with family.
And it’s not just you changing. Life pulls people in different directions. Some friends start families. Others move cities. Some stay stuck in the same loops you’re trying to break out of. And that gap starts to feel wider each year.
For me, it was when I realized I was avoiding certain conversations. The stuff that used to excite me, like breaking down marketing experiments or figuring out team culture, bored some of my old friends. And the stuff they were into just didn’t resonate anymore.
No one’s at fault. But the connection weakens.
The Quiet Guilt
Some days I’ll be getting stuff done, actually making progress, and then out of nowhere, I feel kind of off. It’s this strange, low-key feeling that sits in the background. Not sadness, not stress, just something like guilt.
I can’t really explain it. I think it’s tied to how I’ve been pulling away from people, not intentionally, but it’s happening. And I guess part of me feels like I owe someone an explanation, even though no one’s asked for one.
I used to be the friend who always replied. The one who showed up. Now, I vanish for weeks. I’ve missed birthdays. Canceled plans last minute. Told people “next time” when deep down I wasn’t even sure if there would be one.
And then I ask myself if I’ve just turned into someone selfish.
But the thing is, I’m not slacking off. I’m building something. I’m focused. And honestly, trying to juggle it all just wears me down after a while.
Eventually, I had to stop acting like everything was still the same. Because it wasn’t. Not even close.
Doesn’t mean I don’t care. Doesn’t mean I’ve stopped being a decent person. I just have to be more careful with where my energy goes and who I give my time to.
Making Space for New Energy
As certain friendships fade, new ones start showing up. Usually in unexpected ways. Through work, online communities, random introductions, and even brief conversations that somehow go deeper than you thought they would.
I’ve met people who just get it. They understand what it's like to be in a room full of noise but still be thinking about their roadmap. They understand what it's like to fail silently. To win privately. To care about building something that most people don’t even understand.
Those connections matter. They don’t always feel flashy, but they’re solid. There’s no pressure to prove anything. Just mutual understanding.
Maybe that’s just how it works. You grow, and yeah, some people fade out. But in that space, you start meeting people who feel more aligned. I don’t know the word for it. Just people who sort of match the version of you that’s still forming.
How I’m Choosing Now
These days, I think less about loyalty in the traditional sense and more about alignment. Who understands my values? Who challenges me in a way that feels healthy? Who do I feel better around, not drained?
I still have love for the people I’ve drifted from. If they ever needed me, I’d be there. But I’m learning not to force connections that no longer have shared momentum.
What I’ve noticed is that the more I commit to my own journey, the more natural it becomes to attract people who are also on theirs. And when two people meet from that space, it just works. No convincing. No guilt. Just flow.
Final Thoughts
Losing friends might not be something entrepreneurs talk about often, but it’s real. And you’re not a bad person for growing. If you’re building something that matters to you, it’s okay to let go of what doesn’t support that.
Be kind, stay honest, and make space for new people who align with the version of you that’s unfolding. That’s what growth looks like. And the more you lean into it, the lighter you feel.
Anyway, just figured I’d share this. I don’t know if anyone else is going through something like this, but if you are, I get it. Drop a comment or something if this hit home. I’m honestly curious what others have felt.
Let’s keep building. But let’s not forget to stay human while we do it.
