A Conversation at Area 42

“Do you think that was good enough, Allen? I am tired of rehearsing our lines. I am having a beer,” said the man with the USA cap as he sat down by the fire. He pulled a stick from behind a rock and put a marshmallow on it. He handed it to his companion.

“Thank you, John.” The man called Allen pulled his alien mask off and replied, “I don’t know anymore, to be honest. How good does it really have to be?“

Allen continued as John sipped his beer. “Despite what I think, we are paid to create plausible information noise for the DIA. “

John pushed his marshmallow deeper into the fire and ruminated. “I used to believe in the mission, but I’ve begun to wonder. I felt like we were doing something when we’d do this dog and pony for visiting dignitaries or foreign military envoys. It made sense to create this illusion of enormous military and technological advantage when the gap did not exist at all. “

Allen nodded, “I know. I feel like we’ve helped keep the Chinese military in check through our efforts here. They believed we had a huge technological advantage, but their AI is finally beginning to see through the veil. They don’t even bother to come out on these ‘tours’ any longer.”

Let’s cap our beer consumption and practice the script a bit more,” John suggested. Allen had started a rant, though. John knew what would follow.

Allen began his rant predictably. “You know, when I first started this gig, the SR-71 Blackbird was the world’s fastest aircraft. Now, so many decades later, the SR-71 is supposed to be the fastest aircraft. The SR-71 was first flown in 1964!”

Do you know the United States Air Force still claims to need the U-2 spy plane? It was first flown in 1956. That was decades before I was even drafted into this enterprise, John.”

“Allen, you know this is terrible for your blood pressure. Why don’t you just retire now?” John asked plaintively.

“Nope! They’re gonna pay my full retirement!” Allen was adamant about getting his righteous retirement. John knew this well.

Allen began a familiar rationalization for the charade they were about to engage in. “You know, John, the Army has somehow lost six trillion dollars. I know they say it’s just a computer glitch. I am worrying. I just want to get to full retirement by the end of next year and bail out. The last audit of the Pentagon uncovered trillions more missing. These accounting errors caused by computer glitches are very concerning. “

“Allen, please!” John pleaded with his old friend to hush. “You are going to get yourself booted without ANY retirement. Don’t let that happen!” He advised his friend with a finger to his lips.

“Now, let’s practice this script again,” John insisted. “After I lead the group into the hologram hangar and they see you appearing to operate one of the craft….then what?”

“OK, OK, I appear to land one of the craft nearby you. I walk toward you. I take three steps toward the group and remove the mask. You then turn to the confused-looking Senators and say what?”

“Yes, Senators, there might be aliens. These might be an alien craft, but we all know the real answer here. Maybe there are aliens, and maybe there are not, but there is a HUGE HOLE sucking up trillions in the Defense Department. The Pentagon admits this fact. “

Allen interrupted and said, “The Senators will start asking a lot of questions and perhaps shouting and jumping up and down. We have to maintain calm and follow the plot. It will work.”

Allen continued. “Now, it will be my job to close the deal here, so I will say something like this.” Allen paused and put his hand to his chin.

“ The Pentagon has other facts to consider. Remember, our enemies are gaining on us technologically. Technology determines who wins or loses any war in the 21st century. This is also a fact the Senate should consider. Another fact to consider is we have to keep this technology secret. Ergo, money must be siphoned off to maintain our technological lead in secret. We acknowledge there may be a personal ‘cost’ for each of you to ‘maintain secrecy,’ so the Pentagon has prepared a ‘secrecy stipend’ for each of you. Please step through here for your debriefing, Senators.”

The two men looked at each other. Unspoken communication about reality occurred but was unrecorded by technology. Maybe that means it never happened? Allen put his alien head mask back on. The two men walked toward the hologram hangar.

Also published here.