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Hackernoon logoHow Can You Create a Million Dollar App? by@barnumpt

How Can You Create a Million Dollar App?

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@barnumptBarnumPT

Marketing Expert. Very professional.

Every man is born equal. That’s how our parents and grandparents always kept us in check. Based on the promise of equality they wanted to push us to our very limits.

They also promised us a golden chariot that will come one day and that we have to be prepared for it, but there is a catch.

You have to agree to hop on board.

You are given the ability to choose your own path and yet some people didn’t accept that ride. I guess I was lucky enough to trust the driver and boy what a ride it was.

Come to think of it, this speech won’t be about the tech and beautiful infrastructure of our self-sustaining money-maker. No. Today I want to talk about the birth of an idea — the moment of inception if you will.

Back before “Cluuber” was even a blueprint, I had lots of trouble in my life. Deadlines, quarterly reports, staff management… All of those things caused stress because I always tried to be a righteous person that firmly believes in equality.

I didn’t want to put the burden of that labor on someone that could be more productive so I did all of that stuff myself because the wage budget was limited at the time.

This story you are about to hear took place in the summer of 2015. It was a time where we all had a feeling that we were on to something but we needed more time.

It is a perfect example of communications issues that we constantly face as a society.

I was walking down to the office and passed by a homeless guy on that day. Until that moment I never gave money away to homeless people that looked physically capable of performing labor. It was an ideology of mine that just made sense.

But that day was different. 

As I was walking further away I had that feeling that he was looking at me all the time. He was probably judging me by my looks or something else that could cause disappointment in his eyes.

Why doesn’t this classy bastard spare 10 bucks so I can grab a beer with my sandwich?

That would be my thought if I was homeless I guess.

So I turned back and said to myself that this classy bastard is going to make someone's day today. I’m gonna give this guy a hundred dollars for no particular reason and let him be happy for once. That’s not a huge price to pay for a day of happiness, is it?

As it turns out, it actually is…

As I was letting go of the bill this homeless guy stopped me and very clearly stated that he doesn’t want the money.

The money you are giving me isn’t free, boy. You are trying to buy something that you won’t experience. And whether you like it or not, even if just for a millisecond, you will expect the universe to pay you back for your good deed.
You are so miserable that you are willing to sacrifice money that you desperately need just to make an old fart like me happy. That’s a grand gesture but don’t let the appearance fool you.
Just take the money and keep doing what you are doing. Things are going to work out just fine.

It’s easy to judge me from this perspective but this guy actually managed to piss me off in less than a minute. 

How arrogant do you have to be to turn down money from someone who is clearly working his ass off? Isn’t this the moment you live for as a homeless person? 

Someone is giving you free money, why not take it? What could I possibly ask the universe for?

What services does the universe provide for a hundred bucks???

I had to do something about the situation because I felt like this old man should have a talk with me and explain the real reason behind this.

I sat down with him and started a teaching class but he was clearly open for that. At one point I felt like he was realizing that there was no hidden agenda behind the money I was trying to give away and for the first time in my life, I felt like time stopped.

You can’t imagine how awesome it feels when someone is actually listening to you and willing to accept their mistakes.

After about 15 minutes I felt like I did something very useful today but old people will never go past their arrogance I guess…

You just spent 15 minutes of my time trying to explain that you don’t believe in karma? If you asked I would have respected you more because I don’t believe in that bullshit either but I still don’t want the money.
Do you have something to ask or do you have another interesting story for me?

You know that question we all have in our head in these situations? It just perfectly lines up with the conversation but you can’t override your respect for the elder and the weak.

Well… I wasn’t that guy so I just had to ask why are all old people the same and why don’t they listen to people who actually have access to information and only want to help?

Based on your appearance I will make a wild guess that you work in tech. Those bags under your eyes are a clear sign of stress and long working hours. This means that you have deadlines and people on payroll or you are on someone else's payroll with different deadlines, of course. This adds even more stress to the situation and thus your concept of time isn’t the same as mine.
While you dig through your paperwork, invent new lines of code to solve problems no one actually has, people like me sit here and observe. We look at you rushing to that office and pray that you will never give us money because we know that you need it more than we do. If that sounds too arrogant and ignorant for you then please give me a few more minutes of your time because I was patient enough to hear your story.
While observing your behavior on the streets I have concluded that you are all stuck in a loop that you, the tech guys created. 
When Facebook became a thing some of the folk started to look at their phones more frequently and they were showing signs of happiness. Reconnecting with high school friends was a thing that brought joy in their lives. Their joy was our joy but somehow you convinced them that they need more.
Now that you reunited them with their past their insecurity came back as well. Some of their friends were a lot more successful then they are so they had to speed things up.
What do you morons do to help? You invent Instagram and along with it, the concept of recycling stupid ideas…
Now their rich friends can post pictures from Hawaii on a daily basis and these insecure idiots will have to say that they like them. Once I saw them looking down on their phones even on sunny days I knew you people fucked things up but you still wanted more because the money train was just about to enter the social media station.
So what do you morons do next? You focus on more insecurity and invent a thing called privacy.
Your propaganda told them that someone out there is watching their every move. How big does your ego have to be to believe that someone actually cares about your life and interests?
Another prick like you creates a platform that has maximum privacy and tells them that this is the next big thing but their rich friends don’t give a shit about privacy so they stay on Instagram anyway. 
It’s funny how you don’t even see that you are creating echo chambers for people with radical views. By putting them back together you set them even further apart by giving them a live feed of someone else’s happiness.
It makes me sad when I say it but you people are in control of what happiness is and if you are sitting here listening to me we both know that it’s not money… It never was… 
All those vacation photos you took are a sign of your own insecurity. Would you feel as confident if none of your friends actually cared about those?
Now. If we can end the conversation here that would be awesome. 
I don’t want the money because you need it to make the next big thing that is actually the same shit that someone else already made but for a different group of people. That money doesn’t belong to me because I can’t buy happiness. You made it too expensive so I simply chose to sit here and watch you ruin each other because there is nothing I can do about it.
If you really wanted to help the homeless why not make an app for us? Give us free phones, make an app where people need help with groceries and some silly chores. I know a lot of the guys that would gladly go and do your shopping for you… They don’t have much to do anyways.
And before you start brainstorming that idea I have to warn you that it’s not a money-maker. It’s a self-sustaining ecosystem that can only work if you don’t have control over it. I don’t know how to use a computer but I know how to use a phone and this app can definitely be made. Just copy Uber and remove the fees because you can’t have them.
If you add fees you aren’t helping us. You are making money off our misery and that’s not a moral way to do it so your app is doomed to fail. At best it will last a year until we start making enough money to form groups that will accuse you of reinventing slavery.
And we also know you don’t want to spend millions on something that will never bring you a cent of profit so, please… Go do what you have to do. The shitstorm you people caused will self-correct. I just don’t want to be a part of it. That’s all…

At first I was stunned. It’s a feeling that you can’t really describe. For the first time in my life, I realized that we don’t have a problem with each other… Our apps created a trust problem and this old arrogant gentleman just gave me a free idea that we today know as Cluuber!

The world was stunned at how we were innovative enough to combine blockchain with conventional technology! If you look back at our Facebook page, you can see that we had only five employees at one point but reserving seats in clubs with Cluuber was just too easy so it rapidly grew into a million-dollar business!

Affiliate programs brought in brand ambassadors and their hard work was compensated with our very own cryptocurrency! Every nightclub in our country now uses Cluuber and we are planning to expand worldwide next year!

In one huge swoop, we solved the problem of privacy and trust just by combining KYC and Blockchain! Some criticized us for the slow verification process at first but where are they now when the CluuberCoin is making 1000% gains in the markets??

The point of this story is for you to understand that sometimes we just have to sit down and listen to people. Even if they don’t understand that we aren’t the creators of the problems but rather the problem-solvers, their ranting could be a ticket for your own gold chariot. Pay attention and maybe you won’t miss it next time it comes. 

Every person on this planet has a story. If you listen, you just might be lucky enough to hear an interesting one every once in a while. This particular one isn’t the one you are looking for but it does illustrate how the older and uninformed can create a false image of our own reality.

It is our duty to bring information and technology closer to them and this is what we will continue doing!

(Disclaimer: The project Cluuber is a work of Fiction)

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