Hackernoon logoDoes Love Exist? (Slogging Insights) by@Limarc

Does Love Exist? (Slogging Insights)

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@LimarcLimarc Ambalina

Hacker Noon's VP of Growth by day, VR Gamer and Anime Binger by night

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It's the age-old question that highschoolers ask after getting their hearts broken for the first time. Does love exist or is Nicolas Sparks full of it? Is it something beyond science and human understanding? Today, we dive into these very questions and see what Hacker Noon contributors have to say about it.

This Slack discussion by Linh Smooke, Sidra, Arthur Tkachenko, Rianke Krugel, and I occurred in Slogging's official #philosophy channel, and has been edited for readability.

Limarc AmbalinaFeb 10, 2021, 5:49 PM
Is Love just a result of evolution and chemical reactions in our bodies to help us prolong our species, or is it something more?
Linh SmookeFeb 10, 2021, 5:55 PM
Long term love is a lot of forgiveness and selflessness, sometimes at the expense of your short term survival
Limarc AmbalinaFeb 10, 2021, 6:02 PM
I used to think about this alot when I was 17 and heartbroken. But to play Devil's Advocate and keep the conversation going Linh Smooke: what if selflessness is just a part of that evolution? In nature mother lions or bears for example will protect they babies even to their own demise, but again that is an action that helps prolong the species. But you might say what about the selfless actions people take for their spouse? Isn't it possible that this natural instinct to protect your children evolved in humans and expanded to our spouses? Meaning like your desire to protect your significant other is your body saying we need to keep this person alive and healthy so that we can have babies and protect our species.
Linh SmookeFeb 10, 2021, 6:27 PM
I think it depends if you talk about individuals or in the aggregate. My thought is each individual tends to think of themselves as their own persons making decisions based on their unique circumstances (that sometimes makes no evolutionary sense, such as couples who love each other but decide not to have kids). but in the aggregate I think it’s true that as a people we do really contribute to the long-term survival of the entire species
Linh SmookeFeb 10, 2021, 6:27 PM
I was heartbroken at age 19 too 💔💔💔
Feb 11, 2021, 5:02 AM
I think I would edit your question to read "is sex just a result of evolution and chemical reactions in our bodies to help us prolong our species, or is it something more?", but even then my answer would still probably be no. 😆
SidraFeb 11, 2021, 5:37 AM
Love, like self, is what you believe it to be. It’s magic if you experienced it.  But if you confine yourself to the realm of science only and are not willing to probe what lies beyond science, logic, and rationalism, then it is just a bunch of chemical reactions in the brain which may have served some evolutionary purpose.

Here is what I believe - Though love might be useful in evolution (in the case of heterosexual couples), and yes it is scientifically proven that you feel high in love (chemical reactions!), however, there is more to it. For me, love is both a subjective and objective reality. It doesn’t have to be in one form, following certain rules. Love can both be selfish and selfless. Love can give you both happiness and pain. Love is magical! and beautiful :)
SidraFeb 11, 2021, 5:47 AM
And we cannot discuss love without a touch of poetry. That’s blasphemy 😂
Enjoy this masterpiece from Phil Kaye and Sarah Kay
https://m.youtube.com/watch?vl=da&v=cPG6nJRJeWQ
SidraFeb 11, 2021, 8:18 AM
Hahahahaha yes mathematics can explain everything- not to forget the role of golden ratio and WHR in natural selection.
Rianke KrugelFeb 16, 2021, 9:44 PM
I'll just add that in addition to some of the things mentioned above; I truly believe that love is also a conscious decision. Not necessarily only the 'I'm going / want to love this person', but perhaps more 'I'm not going to (fall in) love (with) this person'. That's my lived experience, at least.

Being CF by choice has me arguing for the former part of your posed statetion (statement-question, boom!), but also not independently. I do think that we make many micro-decision while rising in love with someone, and these might be consciously or unconsciously.

Lastly, I'll add that a friend told me long ago that not all (romantic) love has to be(come) physical love. I mean this beyond the a-sexual / a-romantic sphere; to me it means that sometimes you might end up loving someone, yet, at the same time, accepting that your (collective?) love will remain confined to a certain space in your lives, and that is okay. Love =/= instant gratification.

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