Folks, I’m perturbed. You might have gathered this from the title. I’m frustrated because I’m creating. For most, creating relieves frustration. It helps them decipher their world, process what’s going on, ease their minds, and leaves them fulfilled. Not me. Not right now, at least. This whole process of creating has me stifled and agitated.
Every person at every stage is going to have good moments and bad moments. They’re going to have times when they feel they’re doing very well, and they’re going to have times when they feel they’re only capable of failure. I currently feel the latter. All of this, of course, ebbs and flows along a trajectory of growth. Your next high is generally going to be higher than the one before. Your next trough isn’t going to be as low as the last one. But knowing this doesn’t make it feel any better when you’re in a trough. Actually, continually growing might make it worse.
As you get better at what you do, you’re able to analyze it more thoroughly. You recognize where you need to improve, but you can’t always improve instantly, and so it pains you. That error, whatever it might be, nags you like a single fly that won’t stop hovering around your picnic lunch. It ruins your good time. It’s so frustrating to create, because the better you get, the more you’re able to feel how badly you’re doing when you’re in a trough.
Creating anything is amazing. There’s a deity-like aspect to it, where you’re in control. You bring it into being. There’s pride to be taken in that! There’s also plenty of room for embarrassment. But — you know what — that’s okay. Your lulls are only temporary. The fact you’ve recognized them at all is proof of your growth. You’re getting better. Why get frustrated about that? In the moment, it’s so easy to get caught up in an inability. I do it all the time! I’ve been doing it so much lately, it’s driving me mental. The thing we have to tell ourselves — that I have to tell myself — is that it’s actually a good sign. Try not to be frustrated by it. Be patient, and know that better work is coming.
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