Every digital revolution begins with excitement, peaks with mass adoption, and ends in collapse. Dating apps are following this exact curve — and their decline is already here. This moment of failure creates space for innovation, where AI concierges can finally serve as real matchmakers instead of profit-driven slot machines. High Heels, High Tech: My Story of Love and Code When the internet first reached homes, I was a teenager eager to explore. I began programming at 12, went online at 14, and by 18 I had already developed my first personal website with a matchmaking test coded in Perl. At the turn of the millennium — before Facebook, before Tinder — the internet was still raw and experimental, and I was already exploring how technology could connect people. My dating life has always been intertwined with technology. I have walked the entire path of digital connection — from dial-up chat rooms to today’s complex platforms. I lived through every stage of this evolution, testing nearly every major dating app. I wrote scripts, built communities, traveled across 30 countries, lived across continents, and even married across cultures (my first husband was Russian; I was later widowed from my American second). Through these experiences, I met partners of many nationalities and lifelong friends online — a journey that gives me a truly unique perspective today. From Elite Beginnings to Toxic Swamps In the early days, only educated and tech-savvy people had access to the internet. Online chats and forums were filled with curious minds, meaningful conversations, and real possibilities. Today, a smartphone with internet access is in everyone’s pocket — from those on society’s edges to even people in prisons or psychiatric institutions. And dating apps are flooded with people who would never cross our paths in real life — outside our social circles, communities, or values. The result? Many users are shocked: in real life they are respected, yet online they face harassment, insults, and manipulation. Normal users leave, trolls remain. Effectiveness is close to zero. Without a radical shift, it will only get worse. Algorithms Have Improved — But It’s Not Enough Yes, modern dating apps like Bumble and Facebook Dating already learn and predict the kind of looks you’re drawn to. They sort and show you profiles that fit your taste, and the first fifty suggestions often feel perfect. It’s convenient, even exciting — a real breakthrough. But matching on looks is no longer the problem. The real issue is the culture. Too many users have no intention of meeting. Some chat just to collect attention, others scroll out of boredom the same way they do on Instagram. And some, unable to connect in real life, use apps to vent frustration or spread toxicity they would never show face-to-face. This has turned dating apps into swamps where genuine connections struggle to survive. It mirrors what happened to early internet forums: once revolutionary, they collapsed under the weight of trolls until moderation systems evolved. Dating apps, however, don’t clean up. Their business model profits from keeping people swiping, even in toxic conditions. What Psychological Tests Miss Sites like eHarmony once relied on endless questionnaires. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Do you like books or parties? The problem is obvious: people don’t know themselves well, they answer as they wish to be, not as they are, and filling out long forms is boring. That’s why psychological testing in dating is outdated. The Real Solution: Behavioral AI The future lies in an AI concierge that learns from how people actually communicate, not what they claim. Are you sarcastic or warm? Do you move quickly to meetings, or prefer long chats? What kind of partner fits your lifestyle and boundaries? Within one or two weeks, AI can build a real profile, adapt to cultural norms, protect safety, and even educate — explaining to men why sarcasm often kills women’s sense of safety, or to women why male sexual drive is not a threat but a biological constant that can be directed into love. This is not just matching. It is translation between genders — lowering conflict, preventing disappointment, and building compatibility. It also means real analytics: how many messages it takes to meet, where dates are arranged, what patterns lead to success. For the first time, dating could be based on transparent, behavioral data. Your Personal AI Matchmaker Every day you already talk to your chatbot — asking questions, sharing thoughts, solving little problems. But imagine one evening you tell it something new: “I’d love to go on a date tonight.” “I’d love to go on a date tonight.” By then, it knows you better than anyone — your likes and dislikes, the style of dates you enjoy, the way you like to spend your evenings. You don’t explain a thing. In seconds, your AI concierge shows you a handful of people nearby who are free tonight and want exactly the same experience. You glance through, pick the one who feels right. And then the magic begins: your concierge speaks with theirs, arranging every detail — who picks up whom, where you’ll meet, who covers what, and how the evening unfolds. No stress, no awkward planning, no uncertainty. You simply show up, everything ready, and step straight into a beautiful night designed just for you. Law & Privacy Regulations Here lies the biggest barrier. Current privacy laws prevent platforms from analyzing private conversations, even anonymously. Yet these conversations hold the key to understanding how people actually connect. Until regulation evolves, apps are stuck with shallow data — swipes and clicks. But once the legal framework matures, anonymized behavioral data could be used not to exploit, but to serve humanity: helping people build safer, healthier, more compatible relationships. The Coming Era of Human Connection I believe we are entering a new era. Suffering and isolation are being replaced by awareness, therapy, communities, and support. People seek harmony, joy, and creativity. And love remains the greatest source of happiness. I see it daily in my current work curating romantic events in Florida. I witness men still making grand gestures, couples glowing with devotion, and partners radiating a passion that proves love is still alive — even in a time when so many feel disillusioned by relationships. People want connection. People need love. And technology must evolve to deliver it. Why Now Is the Perfect Moment Old-fashioned matchmaking through families and friends is gone — now considered outdated, even cringeworthy. Meanwhile, dating apps have stagnated: toxicity dominates, normal users leave, and the culture collapses. This vacuum has created the perfect moment. Old giants like Match Group profit from dysfunction, while society faces declining marriage rates, rising burnout, and the intensifying gender wars. The world is starving for a new approach. For investors, founders, and visionaries, this is the golden window. Incumbents profit from inertia. They won’t change. My Vision Dating apps are dying not because people stopped wanting love — but because platforms stopped serving that need. It is time for a new generation of dating technology: filtering toxicity, adapting to culture, learning from behavior, and helping people quickly find not only partners but also supportive friends and communities. The goal is to make happiness accessible to millions, to accelerate the next stage of humanity — one where suffering is minimized, harmony is the norm, and relationships become the fuel for creativity and growth. This is the golden moment to create the startup that will change the world. As a humanist and a hedonist, I believe technology must serve joy, connection, and love. And I am ready to contribute my experience — as an IT expert, a cross-cultural migrant, and a designer of love itself — to help shape the next era of human connection.

This story contains new, firsthand information uncovered by the writer.

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Why Dating Apps Are Dying — And What Will Replace Them

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