“I am tomorrow, or some future day, what I establish today. I am today what I established yesterday or some previous day.” - James Joyce
I recently saw a seemingly young, shredded man of 20-something running in a downpour at 4 bloody AM — as Eminem’s Lose Yourself played in the background. 60 seconds into the video, he stops under a street light, holding the camera atop his head, looks straight into the camera, and goes: What’s your excuse?
Never in my life had I wanted to punch someone so bad. But at the same time, as much as I hate to admit, he did get me thinking: What is my excuse? Why couldn’t I stick to the routines I worked hours to create? How hard is it to start a new habit? It takes 21 days, after all! So, what’s the problem?
After much worry and reasoning, I found the answer - Commitment.
As humans, we have a tiny window for patience. This makes it easy for us to get baited with things that offer instant gratification like fast food, retail therapy, Netflix, and all the other demons we let whisper in our ears.
This might seem harmless because, of course, you’re going to get back on track tomorrow. But it’s leading to a bigger, graver problem of not being able to commit.
We tell ourselves we’ll sleep by 11 PM, but we’re still catching up on “one last episode.” We’re delaying working on the first draft because the deadline has two days to go. Is it the lack of willpower, determination, or both?
Turns out, it’s dopamine, the brain chemical responsible for motivation, pleasure, and learning.
Dopamine gets released the moment your brain sees a “reward”, real or perceived. And has a small window frame of only a couple of seconds. During this window, you can either take action to take the reward or you can leave it. But here comes the caveat.
With things like shopping or smoking, the reward is instant, so we tend to indulge in the activity more often as opposed to something like running or meditation, where the rewards are slower to show up.
But what happens when we replace “reward” with “punishment”? In that case, the brain will respond to the negative stimulus by releasing dopamine, and react according to the degree of its severity.
To simplify, if you’re driving through a scenic route, you might be tempted to look through the window to enjoy the view while keeping pace (The instant gratification!). But doing so could likely lead to an accident (The punishment).
So, a better alternative would be to stop the car on the side, even though you’ll be behind schedule, and soak in the view comfortably. Avoid the temptation of instant gratification in favor of avoiding a graver punishment.
When forming a healthy habit, the rewards usually come slowly. So, it feels impossible to commit to the goal and keep going. But what if you add punishment to the equation? Would the goal become attainable?
This is the premise of a Ulysses Contract. Let’s see how!
A Ulysses Contract is a method where you anticipate future temptations and proactively take measures to avoid them. Or else, you have to face a punishment.
This contract has its root in the story of the legendary Greek hero Ulysses or Odysseus, and how he successfully avoided falling into temptation while still getting the reward.
The story goes: When returning home after decades of Trojan Wars, a challenge awaited Ulysses and his men. They were to pass the island home of the Sirens, who were known for their beguiling voices luring men to doom.
Ulysses wanted to avoid the Siren’s call to death, but at the same time, wanted to hear their enchanting song. So, he hatched a plan and asked his crew to tie him to the mast while the men filled their own ears with wax.
When the ship sailed past the island of the Sirens, Ulysses couldn’t resist their call and started to loosen the ties. That’s when two of his men came forward and bound him even tighter, as the rest of his men rowed the ship furiously.
By foreseeing the temptation and preparing for it beforehand, Ulysses was able to hear Siren’s song and avoid the wreckage.
So, a typical Ulysses contract involves:
Now, there are as many interpretations as there are Ulysses Contracts. Each one is unique and produces different outcomes in different contexts. But — and it’s a big one — these work only when you're committed to the cause.
For example, every time I think I'm going overboard in my use of social media because I'm spending an embarrassing number of hours aimlessly scrolling, I'll set a ‘timer’ app to limit my usage to a certain amount each day.
Does it help? Nope. I simply 'snooze' the app and go back to my doomscrolling – not because I have poor self-control but probably because the “punishment” in this case isn't punishment enough.
As David Eagleman writes in his book, Brain: The Story of You, “The key to the Ulysses contract is recognizing that we are different people in different contexts. To make better decisions, it’s important not only to know yourself but all of your selves.”
As humans, we’re either driven by reward or punishment. And if you come from an Asian household, it’s probably the latter (I fully sympathize!)
To make a Ulysses contract work, you need two types of stimuli:
Friction to restrict the choices you can make. Or something to metaphorically tie you to the mast. Something like “I’ll give my Instagram password to my friend and ask him to change it if I don’t go to the gym at least four times a week.”
Fuel to keep you going despite the distractions and discomforts. Your very own Siren’s Song. Like studying how to code for two hours daily instead of playing Call of Duty will help you get that dream job faster. So, better keep your eyes on the prize.
If either of these is missing, you’re less likely to succeed with the agreement.
Start by identifying a habit you want to build or perfect. Then set a SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound) goal to achieve it. For example, I will exercise on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at 5 PM or I’ll cancel my Netflix subscription for a month.
If know yourself well enough to know you won’t be able to keep the contract with yourself, get someone who’ll keep you accountable. This person can hold the proverbial gun above your head and drive you to action. For example, I will exercise on MWF at 5 PM or my friend will cancel my Netflix subscription for a month.
Not consistency, but flexibility is the key to success. Don’t make the contract a deal with the devil, and make yourself suffer. Instead, practice flexibility to ensure you’re making progress. For example, if I miss exercising on either MWF at 5 PM, I will exercise the next day at the same time.
The next time you feel a lack of motivation, try to form a Ulysses contract to challenge yourself. Perhaps a stick will do you more favor than a candy will.