Something must be done. About vengeance, a badge, and a gun. Cause I'll rip the mic, rip the stage, rip the system. I was born to Rage Against 'em! - Rage Against The Machine Today, let’s talk about one of the most beloved organizations in the world - the SEC. If you have been following the recent crypto news about SEC, US regulations, and securities, you will find some common themes. Some of these are: SEC is preventing America from winning technology wars. Chokehold 2.0 is coming from regulators and US lawmakers. Regulators are working with the financial lobby to shut down crypto SEC is gonna deem every token a security - or Pepe, all the same ETH We need more clarity and reasonable regulation around crypto. Help us SEC! Lawmakers need to step up and fight against the stifling of innovation in the Western world “But so much money laundering and terrorist financing is happening!” - SEC Clearly, as you can tell I’m not gonna talk about any of the above. I decided to provide a fresh perspective and talk about some SEC conspiracy shit actually. Say what? But first, let us examine some SEC press releases, shall we? SEC sues Binance SEC sues Coinbase SEC sues Goldman Sachs SEC sues Wall Street Firms You must be wondering now, why Slim Satoshi has fucking Goldman Sachs and Wall Street firms in this blog. This is exactly the core conspiracy point! SEC basically took a $1.1 billion fine from Wall Street firms in 2022. And when you ask your favorite AI tool - where do the fines paid to SEC go? Voila! So, why on earth will SEC provide clear guidelines around crypto? They have much more to lose when they do that. SEC gives zero fucks about providing clarity on crypto regulations, my friend. Crypto is a ripe field for SEC to milk for some good-ass fines for Uncle Sam. Sounds more like a truth than a conspiracy now, doesn’t it? SEC is merely helping Uncle Sam not to default on itself as the devaluation of the USD continues. US debt is at an all-time high USD is losing value rapidly and inflation is not helping The US is losing its dominance in the global economy The US lost a f*ck lot of money in past & current wars Russia sanctions and oil, anyone? SEC is just doing its humble part to help Uncle Sam. Just a humble conspiracy theory, please subscribe. Thanks for reading The Real Slim Satoshi! Subscribe for free SEC news.

This piece was written for humor or satire and may include nonfactual statements, stories, or anecdotes.

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