How We Hold Ourselves Back When We Think We Have To Do Everything

Photo by Jordan Whitfield

Last week I finally got a chance to unplug from work, and spend some quality time with my husband in Yosemite.

The week before we left I was having a really hard time unplugging. My mind was racing with things that I had to do.

My aunt needed a ride to the airport at 4am. My grandma needed to make sure she didn’t forget her medication. We had important packages and mail that would be arriving midweek. I need to release a guide for my Ship It Introductory Series.

I could tell it was going to be a challenge to walk away from my daily routine. It gives me purpose and personal satisfaction. Going on a vacation, well that just felt like an indulgence.

Plus I felt like I was letting people down.

The whole week I was caught in a tug-o-war with myself: part of me needed the time off, another was pushing me to keep doing.

Then a question popped into my head: “How would things get done if I wasn’t here?”

Immediately I knew what I needed to do.

Stop Thinking You Are The Center Of The Universe And Learn To Rely On Others

It’s easy to take on everything. To condition ourselves to believe that we have to do it all. But that’s just an excuse.

Deep down we want things done a certain way. It’s easier to do it ourselves than ASK someone else.

ASKing someone else makes us worry that they won’t be as good as us, they’ll let us down, or maybe they’ll perceive us as bothersome.

But then we have to ask ourselves the following:

  • Does the task really need to be done our way?
  • If we have to do it, what else is it preventing us from doing?
  • Why don’t we think someone else is capable?
  • Are we really burdening others?

My way is just a preference. It’s not the only way or the right way.

Attempting to do everything, well that is, in fact, standing in the way of me taking a break and more importantly staying sane and healthy!

If I don’t think someone is capable, well that’s my ego passing judgment on them, and it needs to be checked!

Or, maybe someone has demonstrated they are unreliable, so why am I asking them?! There are billions of other people in the world, surely the odds are in my favor of finding someone else reliable.

Finally, I’ve learned to just let others tell me if they really can’t do something, rather than wasting my energy feeling like a burden.

So with that, I realized my neighbor is constantly asking if we need help, and I know I’d return the favor in a heartbeat. I texted him and asked him to take care of our packages.

I scheduled a ride for my aunt to be picked up at 4 am. After all, the shuttle company is getting paid to pick my aunt up at 4 am!

There are other people in my family who are just as capable of taking care of my grandma as I am.

I scheduled my guide to go out first thing on Monday morning.

Finally, I set my email autoresponder to direct people to our head of operations who is capable of tackling anything.

Then on Monday I shut down my computer, turned off my phone, got in my car and drove off!

What Happens When You’re Not The Center Of The Universe

When I returned home this weekend the packages were safely in my living room, my grandma returned home safely, I got a message from my aunt thanking me for her help, I read through the comments from my guide, and everything else business wise had been taken care of by my teammates.

Of course, there were still things to do, but there were no fires to fight. Nothing needed my immediate attention.

I had created a system for my business and my life that wasn’t reliant on me being present ALL the time. I could be somewhere else and do other things, fun things like this:

Yoga in Yosemite!

Now it’s your turn, what is something you’ve wanted to do for awhile personal or professional? What do you think is holding you back from doing it? Let me know in the comments below!

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