Listen up, Internet bros, broskies, and brofessionals. Listen up, Internet bros, broskies, and brofessionals. If you're reading this, you're probably wondering how to take your brand, your business, or your “passion project” (aka your side hustle you started after watching The Wolf of Wall Street three times in a row) and make it pop, sizzle, explode—go viral. The Wolf of Wall Street go viral Well, you've come to the right place. I'm Sahadat hossen. The guy who once got 4,000 followers by live-blogging a pen. The man who made a slideshow presentation on seduction more popular than a TED Talk. If anyone can teach you how to dominate digital marketing, it’s me. dominate digital marketing So sit back, put on a suit (yes, even if you’re in your mom’s basement), and get ready to become legen—wait for it—dary in the world of online marketing. legen—wait for it—dary Step 1: Suit Up Your Brand Digital marketing isn’t just about data, bro. It’s about image. Presence. Style. Confidence. If your brand were a person, would it walk into the room like James Bond or like a soggy sock? (No offense, jon.) image No offense, jon. You gotta suit up your brand: suit up your brand Killer logo? ✅
Sexy website? ✅
Color scheme tighter than my tie knot? ✅ Killer logo? ✅ Sexy website? ✅ Color scheme tighter than my tie knot? ✅ Remember: nobody buys from a brand that looks like it was made during a group project in high school. Design matters. Aesthetics matter. If your website looks like a Craigslist ad from 2004, shut it down. Burn it. Start over. Step 2: The Power of “The Hook-Up” In real life, hooking up is a skill. Online? It’s a strategy. strategy Your product needs to hook people like I hook up on a Friday night: fast, smooth, and memorable. So how do you do it? You build killer funnels: killer funnels Landing pages that slap harder than Marshall’s dad jokes.
Headlines that stop thumbs like a car crash in Times Square.
CTAs that are so good, they’d get even Robin Scherbatsky to commit. Landing pages that slap harder than Marshall’s dad jokes. Headlines that stop thumbs like a car crash in Times Square. CTAs that are so good, they’d get even Robin Scherbatsky to commit. Robin Scherbatsky Examples: Bad: “Learn More”
Good: “Become a Legend—Click Here”
Best: “Unleash Your Inner Awesome—Start Now (No Suits Required, But Recommended)” Bad: “Learn More” Good: “Become a Legend—Click Here” Best: “Unleash Your Inner Awesome—Start Now (No Suits Required, But Recommended)” Step 3: Social Media – The Bar Scene of the Internet Social media is basically McLaren’s, but instead of ordering drinks, you’re pitching products, flexing your brand, and trying not to come off like a desperate ex. Each platform is a different wing: Instagram is the front window – make it hot.
Twitter/X is the conversation booth – be clever.
TikTok? That’s the dance floor, bro. Bring the energy.
LinkedIn? That’s where you go when you want to pretend you read Gary Vee. Instagram is the front window – make it hot. Instagram Twitter/X is the conversation booth – be clever. Twitter/X TikTok? That’s the dance floor, bro. Bring the energy. TikTok LinkedIn? That’s where you go when you want to pretend you read Gary Vee. LinkedIn Pro tip: Don’t post like a try-hard. People can smell desperation like a cabbie can smell vomit at 2 a.m. Pro tip: Be funny. Be bold. Be mysterious. Be like me. Step 4: SEO – Suit Every Opportunity Yeah, SEO might sound like “Some Ewwww Operation,” but it’s actually how people find you. If Google is the world's biggest club, SEO is your VIP wristband. find you Here's the sahadat breakdown: sahadat breakdown Use keywords that actually make sense (stop stuffing “best catsuit for men” unless you're selling to me).
Title your pages like a Netflix thriller: compelling and click-worthy.
Make content that slaps. Not content that naps. Use keywords that actually make sense (stop stuffing “best catsuit for men” unless you're selling to me). actually Title your pages like a Netflix thriller: compelling and click-worthy. Make content that slaps. Not content that naps. Think like this: “Would this blog make someone high five their screen?” If yes, post it. If no, rewrite it until it would. high five their screen Step 5: Email Marketing – The Perfect Follow-Up Text You know how after a great night, you don’t just ghost? (Looking at you, forgotten friend.) You send a perfectly crafted follow-up. That’s what email marketing is. Looking at you, forgotten friend. perfectly crafted follow-up It’s your chance to: Slide into their inbox smoother than a pickup line at MacLaren’s.
Provide value (aka, don’t just sell—entertain, inspire, teach).
Leave them wanting more (like my “How to Rock a Suit While Paragliding” guide). Slide into their inbox smoother than a pickup line at MacLaren’s. Provide value (aka, don’t just sell—entertain, inspire, teach). Leave them wanting more (like my “How to Rock a Suit While Paragliding” guide). Write emails like you’re talking to your best bro. Or your most attractive ex. Or me. Keep it real. Keep it sexy. Step 6: Video Marketing – Because People Are Lazy No offense to the written word (you’re literally reading this, after all), but video is where the action is. video is where the action is People are lazy. They don’t wanna read your 7-paragraph product description. They want to watch you explain it in 60 seconds, preferably while doing backflips or making a sandwich blindfolded. watch So turn on that camera: Create short-form videos with punch.
Talk like a human, not a brochure.
Show the value, don’t describe it. Create short-form videos with punch. Talk like a human, not a brochure. Show the value, don’t describe it. Bonus: wear a suit in your videos. Because science says well-dressed people get 46% more views. (OK, I made that up, but it sounds legit.) sounds Step 7: Analytics – Know What’s Working (and What’s Pathetic) Data doesn’t lie. If your posts are flopping like jon’s high school poetry, you need to pivot, bro. Use tools like: Google Analytics (yes, it’s boring, but trust me—it’s the blueprint to digital glory)
Facebook Insights
Hotjar (for watching people scroll like creepers) Google Analytics (yes, it’s boring, but trust me—it’s the blueprint to digital glory) blueprint Facebook Insights Hotjar (for watching people scroll like creepers) Track what works. Cut what doesn’t. Test everything. Then test again. Then test your tests. Digital marketing isn’t about doing more. It’s about doing what actually works. Be smarter than the average bro. actually works Step 8: Legendary Ads That Convert Most people waste money on ads like they’re drunk at a blackjack table. Not you. You’re gonna create ads so irresistible, people will click before they know what hit them. Not you. The hossen Strategy for Ads: hossen Strategy for Ads Start with a hook that slaps.
Keep the message tighter than a tailored vest.
Drop a CTA like a mic.
Retarget people like a boss. Start with a hook that slaps. Keep the message tighter than a tailored vest. Drop a CTA like a mic. Retarget people like a boss. Use storytelling. Use mystery. Heck, use puppies if you must (but only cool ones, like huskies in sunglasses). Ads are not about being everywhere. They’re about being unforgettable. being everywhere being unforgettable Step 9: Build a Legendary Tribe You don’t want customers. You want fans. A tribe. A squad. A band of misfit legends who chant your name like you’re entering the ring at WrestleMania. fans How do you build that? Respond to comments (yes, even the weird ones).
Reward loyalty (exclusive offers, behind-the-scenes peeks, swag).
Be real. Be funny. Be vulnerable once in a while. (Maybe even admit your favorite rom-com. Mine’s Love Actually. Don’t judge.) Respond to comments (yes, even the weird ones). Reward loyalty (exclusive offers, behind-the-scenes peeks, swag). Be real. Be funny. Be vulnerable once in a while. (Maybe even admit your favorite rom-com. Mine’s Love Actually. Don’t judge.) Mine’s Love Actually. Don’t judge. Final Step: Make It Fun or Don’t Do It at All If you’re not having fun doing digital marketing, then you’re doing it wrong. It’s not supposed to be dry PowerPoints and keyword audits. It’s supposed to be a party. You’re throwing a digital rager—and your brand is the host. Crack jokes. Tell stories. Take risks. Sometimes you’ll bomb. Sometimes you’ll go viral. Either way, you’re living. Just remember, like I always say: When I get sad, I stop being sad and start being awesome instead. Same applies to your brand. When I get sad, I stop being sad and start being awesome instead. So go out there. Be awesome. And market like a legend. Digital out. hossen out. Digital out. hossen out.

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