What is a Startup? What is a Startup? Alright, brosephs and broettes, lean in. No, closer. Now, imagine the thrill of a first kiss, the rush of a skydive, the tension of removing your socks before the suit (never do that)... now multiply all of that by an espresso shot, a Red Bull, and the 2005 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. before That, my friends, is the raw energy of a startup. startup A startup isn’t just a company. Oh no. A startup is a full-blown lifestyle. It’s the wild one-night stand of the business world—spontaneous, unpredictable, sometimes emotionally damaging, but when it works out? You wake up next to a billion-dollar valuation and a Times Square billboard with your face on it. In Short: A startup is an idea... in a tuxedo... that just ordered bottle service. In Short: A startup is an idea... in a tuxedo... that just ordered bottle service. The Official Sahadat Definition (OSD™): “A startup is a high-risk, high-reward business designed to do one thing—disrupt the crap out of the way things have always been done. It’s like a corporate one-night stand with potential for marriage.” “A startup is a high-risk, high-reward business designed to do one thing—disrupt the crap out of the way things have always been done. It’s like a corporate one-night stand with potential for marriage.” disrupt the crap That’s right. While corporations sit around polishing their mission statements and pretending to care about synergy, startups are out here skipping sleep, pitching in cafés, drinking code for breakfast, and—most importantly—changing the game. changing the game If business is war, then startups are the special ops. Rogue, resourceful, reckless... and oh-so-damn sexy. Wait, So It’s Not Just a Small Business? Oh, my sweet, simple-minded reader. No. Small businesses are your mom’s Etsy store, where she sells crocheted owls. (No offense, moms are awesome.) A small business is stable, local, and predictable. It’s your neighborhood bakery. It’s solid. A startup, on the other hand? It's that hot new bakery that uses AI to predict your donut cravings before you know them, delivers them with drones, and burns through $2 million in funding before figuring out how to charge for a cronut. startup you A startup’s goal isn’t just to exist. It’s to scale. Explosively. Globally. Unreasonably. A startup doesn’t just want your business—it wants to own the entire damn market. And then invent a new one. scale own the entire damn market The Startup Starter Pack: Want to spot a startup in the wild? Look for these signs: Founders Who Haven’t Slept Since 2019: They live on caffeine, code, and dreams. Hygiene? Optional.


A Garage or Loft Office With Ping Pong Tables: You can’t build unicorns without artisanal coffee and bean bags, bro.


A One-Sentence Pitch That Sounds Like Sci-Fi:

"We’re revolutionizing the fintech landscape with quantum-enabled decentralized micro-loans for alpacas."Cool. I don’t know what that means either. But I'min.



No Profit Yet—But A $30 Million Valuation: Revenue is so last decade. Hype is the new cash flow.


The Word ‘Disrupt’ Is Used At Least 5 Times Per Hour:  If your startup isn’t “disrupting,” then are you even trying? Founders Who Haven’t Slept Since 2019: They live on caffeine, code, and dreams. Hygiene? Optional. Founders Who Haven’t Slept Since 2019: They live on caffeine, code, and dreams. Hygiene? Optional. Founders Who Haven’t Slept Since 2019: A Garage or Loft Office With Ping Pong Tables: You can’t build unicorns without artisanal coffee and bean bags, bro. A Garage or Loft Office With Ping Pong Tables: You can’t build unicorns without artisanal coffee and bean bags, bro. A Garage or Loft Office With Ping Pong Tables: A One-Sentence Pitch That Sounds Like Sci-Fi:

"We’re revolutionizing the fintech landscape with quantum-enabled decentralized micro-loans for alpacas."Cool. I don’t know what that means either. But I'min. A One-Sentence Pitch That Sounds Like Sci-Fi: A One-Sentence Pitch That Sounds Like Sci-Fi: "We’re revolutionizing the fintech landscape with quantum-enabled decentralized micro-loans for alpacas."Cool. I don’t know what that means either. But I'min. "We’re revolutionizing the fintech landscape with quantum-enabled decentralized micro-loans for alpacas."Cool. I don’t know what that means either. But I'min. in No Profit Yet—But A $30 Million Valuation: Revenue is so last decade. Hype is the new cash flow. No Profit Yet—But A $30 Million Valuation: Revenue is so last decade. Hype is the new cash flow. No Profit Yet—But A $30 Million Valuation The Word ‘Disrupt’ Is Used At Least 5 Times Per Hour:  If your startup isn’t “disrupting,” then are you even trying? The Word ‘Disrupt’ Is Used At Least 5 Times Per Hour:  If your startup isn’t “disrupting,” then are you even trying? The Word ‘Disrupt’ Is Used At Least 5 Times Per Hour Why Startups Are Legendary: You ever heard of Facebook? Airbnb? Uber? Facebook Airbnb Uber Yeah, those all started as startups. They were laughed at. Mocked. Ignored. And then—BOOM—they took over. Zuckerberg was just a Harvard kid in a hoodie. Now he’s The Algorithm. The Algorithm The lesson? Never underestimate someone in a hoodie with WiFi and trauma. Startups have that Rocky Balboa underdog energy. They start small. They scrap. They hustle. They make mistakes. A lot of them. But they also break molds, rewrite the rules, and flip the bird to “how it’s always been done.” The Startup Timeline (aka The Rollercoaster of Sexy Chaos): Idea Phase: Two friends in a bar sketch something on a napkin. One says, “Bro… what if we made Tinder, but for pets?”The other replies, “...Legendary.”


Build Phase: Sleepless nights, ramen diets, and furious coding. Everyone’s poor, exhausted, and overly optimistic. Also known as the romantic struggle montage.


Launch Phase: They go live. Nobody shows up. Panic. They pivot. They beg friends to download the app. Maybe even get a feature in TechCrunch if they’re lucky—or know someone who dated a writer.


Hockey Stick Growth (or Death): The user count explodes—or flatlines. Investors either show up with champagne or run like it's a Tinder date who said “crypto entrepreneur” in their bio.


Exit (the Sexy Kind): If they win, they get acquired. IPO. Become rich. Throw a yacht party in Ibiza. If they fail... they write Medium blogs titled “What I Learned From Failing My Startup.” (Which, ironically, goes viral.) Idea Phase: Two friends in a bar sketch something on a napkin. One says, “Bro… what if we made Tinder, but for pets?”The other replies, “...Legendary.” Idea Phase: Two friends in a bar sketch something on a napkin. One says, “Bro… what if we made Tinder, but for pets?”The other replies, “...Legendary.” Tinder, but for pets Build Phase: Sleepless nights, ramen diets, and furious coding. Everyone’s poor, exhausted, and overly optimistic. Also known as the romantic struggle montage. Build Phase: Sleepless nights, ramen diets, and furious coding. Everyone’s poor, exhausted, and overly optimistic. Also known as the romantic struggle montage. romantic struggle montage Launch Phase: They go live. Nobody shows up. Panic. They pivot. They beg friends to download the app. Maybe even get a feature in TechCrunch if they’re lucky—or know someone who dated a writer. Launch Phase: They go live. Nobody shows up. Panic. They pivot. They beg friends to download the app. Maybe even get a feature in TechCrunch if they’re lucky—or know someone who dated a writer. TechCrunch Hockey Stick Growth (or Death): The user count explodes—or flatlines. Investors either show up with champagne or run like it's a Tinder date who said “crypto entrepreneur” in their bio. Hockey Stick Growth (or Death): The user count explodes—or flatlines. Investors either show up with champagne or run like it's a Tinder date who said “crypto entrepreneur” in their bio. Exit (the Sexy Kind): If they win, they get acquired. IPO. Become rich. Throw a yacht party in Ibiza. If they fail... they write Medium blogs titled “What I Learned From Failing My Startup.” (Which, ironically, goes viral.) Exit (the Sexy Kind): If they win, they get acquired. IPO. Become rich. Throw a yacht party in Ibiza. If they fail... they write Medium blogs titled “What I Learned From Failing My Startup.” (Which, ironically, goes viral.) Startup Buzzwords You Should Pretend to Understand: MVP (No, not LeBron): Minimum Viable Product. AKA the ugliest working version of your idea that sort of functions.
Pivot: Changing your entire business idea and pretending you meant to do it all along.
Burn Rate: How fast you’re spending money. If it’s fast, congrats—you’re a real startup.
Runway: How long before you run out of cash and have to move back in with your parents?
Unicorn: A startup worth over $1 billion. Super rare, super fabulous. Like me. MVP (No, not LeBron): Minimum Viable Product. AKA the ugliest working version of your idea that sort of functions. MVP Pivot: Changing your entire business idea and pretending you meant to do it all along. Pivot: Burn Rate: How fast you’re spending money. If it’s fast, congrats—you’re a real startup. Burn Rate: Runway: How long before you run out of cash and have to move back in with your parents? Runway: Unicorn: A startup worth over $1 billion. Super rare, super fabulous. Like me. Unicorn: The Mindset of a Startup Founder If you’re thinking about launching a startup, here's the Sahadat Hossen-approved checklist: ✅ You have an idea that makes people say “Wait… what?”✅ You’re cool with failing. Repeatedly. And publicly.✅ You understand that sleep is a myth.✅ You’re charismatic enough to convince rich people to give you money without knowing how you’ll make money.✅ You believe in yourself. Like, irrationally. Like Kanye-level confidence. Bonus points if you can rock a suit while pitching your startup. That’s just common sense. Final Thoughts: Startups & Suits Look, if you made it this far without starting a startup, I’m a little disappointed. But I get it—not everyone is cut out for the madness. It’s brutal. It’s stressful. It’s 18-hour workdays followed by 3-minute bathroom breakdowns. But it’s also glorious. Startups are where the misfits, the dreamers, the rule-breakers go to build stuff that makes the world say “Damn, why didn’t I think of that?” So, the next time someone asks you what a startup is, don’t just recite the textbook line. Look them dead in the eye, raise a glass of Macallan 18, and say: “A startup is an idea that suits up, punches fear in the face, and walks into the night screaming: ‘Challenge accepted.’” “A startup is an idea that suits up, punches fear in the face, and walks into the night screaming: ‘Challenge accepted.’” Stay legendary,-Sahadat Stay legendary,-Sahadat P.S. If you want to pitch me your startup idea, I charge one high-five and a 10% founder's stake. Unless it’s Tinder for pets. That one’s mine. 🐶❤️🐱

Etsy

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How is a Startup Different From a Small Business? (Spoiler: One Wears a Suit)

Startups: The Only Thing Sexier Than Suits

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