How to Distribute Kittens the Computer Network Protocol Way (Hacker Humor)

Too Long; Didn't Read

This was first published on the Russian IT-blog Habr.com/ru/post/487120/. In my opinion it is a nice example of hacker humor that is worth translating into English. How would finding a new home for a kitten look like if it were done in a computer network protocol way? The new owner is found, they untie the kitten and take it to the new owner. The kitten walks free in a crowd, unties a long leash and takes it to a new owner's hands.