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My first major encounter with a role conflict occurred when I took on a team lead role. It was a critical project that required integration across multiple teams and functions and consisted of a few senior people who were pulled in temporarily from other teams to help meet the delivery timelines. While we were all responsible for implementation, I was additionally required to strategize, plan and coordinate the entire deliverable. That’s where things got a little bit complicated. My role to successfully deliver the project conflicted with the expectation to manage people who were senior to me: How can I assign work to people who are senior to me? How can I ask them for a timeline? What if asking for timelines signifies that I doubt their expertise? What if they find it rude or unnecessary? What’s the right way to follow-up? What kind of questions can I ask without sounding judgmental or opinionated? I constantly worried about every small thing concerning them. Cooked up potential conflicts in my mind and spent a large part of my time and energy avoiding the conflict instead of using that energy into managing the project effectively. That left me stressed out, anxious and ruminating about my decisions. Instead of sitting down with my team and proactively discussing my role on the project, aligning expectations and defining how we can collaborate and work together as a team, I secretly hoped that things would get magically better with time. But, instead of a way out of the conflict, I found myself tangled in its messiness. Neither did I have the maturity nor the experience at the time to know that conflict at work is not a thing to be avoided. Rather learning to deal with a role conflict or as a matter of fact, any conflict at work can be a very useful skill to build. These types of scenarios aren’t unusual in the workplace. Here are the two most common examples of role conflict at work: A senior member of the team assigns a bunch of tasks to the more junior members which are not in alignment with the expectation from the manager. If the junior employees don’t know how to deal with this role conflict, they may end up signing up for more tasks than they can fulfil leading to stress, burnout, and mediocre performance. In such situations most people end up evaluating the conflict in their mind while doing nothing to resolve it: Should I speak to my manager about it? Can I tell my senior that my hands are full? If I try to speak to them, will they consider me lazy and irresponsible? Am I expected to do both? Another common role conflict occurs when a team lead assumes the role of a manager in the absence of one. While their formal title designates them as a team lead, they take on all the responsibilities of the manager doing one-on-one meetings, performance reviews, delivery management, and so on. People in the team are conflicted. How are they supposed to treat her? Team lead is torn between playing the role of a coworker and a manager. How should I act? What if the work doesn’t even align with the team leads expectations? What if they want to continue on the individual contributor path and do not want to grow into a manager someday? People step into these roles based on the need of the hour and continue on the path without taking time to sort things out. Their responsibilities multiply and so does the conflict. Effects of role conflict Today's workplaces demand working with people from different backgrounds, beliefs, attitudes, and work habits. A role conflict typically occurs when: You deal with incompatible or conflicting priorities. What your senior is asking you to work on does not align with the expectations from the manager or they confuse you by giving different directions. You are required to carry on a task that’s below your abilities that you feel is better suited for a more junior role on the team. You are expected to step into a role that doesn’t fit with your own attitudes and expectations - too challenging, too demanding, or not aligned with your strengths. You are required to cooperate with different types of people. Those who appear bossy or may seem to overstep their boundaries by telling you what to do even though you consider them on the same level as yours. Effects of the role conflict can vary from person to person. While some learn to deal with the friction that comes with a role conflict and thrive by staying positive and seeking measures to counteract it, others stop functioning and stop being productive by choosing to stay with stress and resentment. When it comes to risky, controversial, and emotional conversations, skilled people find a way to get all relevant information (from themselves and others) out into the open. That's it. At the core of every successful conversation lies the free flow of relevant information. People openly and honestly express their opinions, share their feelings, and articulate their theories - Kerry Patterson shows that role conflict is negatively related to job satisfaction. When you don’t know how to handle role conflict, it can lead to: Research Negative emotions and emotional exhaustion at work. Feelings of anger, frustration, anxiety, and fear. Increased levels of job dissatisfaction. Feeling of lack of control over a work situation. Reduced motivation and commitment towards work. Intention to leave. What can you do to increase your productivity and general well-being when dealing with a role conflict? How to handle role conflict 1. Challenge your assumptions and observations What may seem like a role conflict at first could also be a clash of cultural values or differences in personality traits. It’s also possible that your interpretation of what’s being said or done is way off from the original intent. The source of a lot of conflict at work comes from making wrong assumptions about other people’s behaviors and actions, from inferring and drawing conclusions without an opportunity to find gaps in our own faulty thinking. The idea fits the developed by Chris Argyis in the 1970's. He describes it this way. Imagine your views up on a ladder from observations to assumptions to conclusions. ladder of inference At the bottom of the ladder are specific observations you make about the other person. Your observation could be that your team lead assigns you more work and complex tasks which makes you work longer and harder. Then you walk up the ladder and turn your observations into assumptions. In the previous example, you assume that they try to make your life difficult on purpose. Once this happens multiple times, the role conflict escalates and you finish climbing the ladder to make a conclusion. You conclude that your team lead behaves this way to show her power and establish her authority as a senior person. Then every small observation translates into the same exaggerated generalization about their behavior. It turns into a belief “She is always like this…” You now act around that person based on that belief. What appears to be an act of power or authority could be an intent to help you get better at your job. What if they find you capable and trust you more with the tough assignment? What if they appreciate your good problem-solving skills? What if they don’t even realize that you have more work than you can handle? What if they can’t see the stress that you feel when you have to work long hours? If you do not make an attempt to clarify your generalization, you may lose an opportunity to correct it. Exploring a different spin on your narrative can help you interpret their actions differently. Once you see how their actions are aligned with your own well-being, you can take steps to build a better relationship with them leading to improved collaboration. Often we go through an entire conversation – or indeed an entire relationship – without ever realizing that each of us is paying attention to different things, that our views are based on different information. The single most important thing [you can do] is to shift [your] internal stance from "I understand" to "Help me understand." Everything else follows from that. Remind yourself that if you think you already understand how someone feels or what they are trying to say, it is a delusion. Remember a time when you were sure you were right and then discovered one little fact that changed everything. There is always more to learn - Douglas Stone He adds “Intentions are invisible. We assume them from other people’s behavior. In other words, we make them up, we invent them. But our invented stories about other people’s intentions are accurate much less often than we think. Why? Because people’s intentions, like so much else in difficult conversations, are complex. Sometimes people act with mixed intentions. Sometimes they act with no intention, or at least none related to us. And sometimes they act on good intentions that nonetheless hurt us.” When dealing with a role conflict: Instead of arguing about your own conclusions, challenge your assumptions and observations about the other person or the conflict. Instead of passing judgment, share your opinion and invite others to share it too. Instead of expecting others to change, improve your own communication. . 2 Use your sense of autonomy When a person is autonomously motivated, they are better equipped to deal with a role conflict. They are more likely to use effective problem-solving strategies, like actively seeking the information required to resolve the conflict. However, when the feeling of autonomy is missing from the equation, a role conflict may lead to adopting a passive problem-solving strategies like denial, withdrawal, frustration, and rationalization. Unresolved conflict and the feeling that you can’t do much about it can lead to stress, anxiety, and low levels of job satisfaction. What does this mean? When dealing with a role conflict, choose to feel more in control of your situation. By considering yourself as the creator of your own path, you can manage the conflict in more resourceful ways. You can employ effective conflict resolution strategies like asking for information, seeking alternate viewpoints, trying to be persistent, staying creative about the different strategies, and most importantly shifting your mindset from seeing the role conflict as an obstacle preventing you from getting the job done to viewing it as an opportunity to build new skills. You will come across obstacles in life—fair and unfair. And you will discover, time and time again, that what matters most is not what these obstacles are but how we see them, how we react to them, and whether we keep our composure. You will learn that this reaction determines how successful we will be in overcoming—or possibly thriving because of—them - Ryan Holiday By using your sense of autonomy, you will not only get past the role conflict, you will learn valuable skills to handle other difficult situations in the workplace. 3. Don’t let it turn into a status or relationship conflict Most of the time what starts as a role conflict turns into a status of a relationship conflict. You may start avoiding the other person, feel uncomfortable in their presence, try to put them down, or look for opportunities to prove your status. A role conflict can turn into a status conflict when people don’t have clear roles on the team. You may consider that the other person is in the same status hierarchy as you while they try to have more power over you. When they tell you what to do, you instantly react with “who are you to tell me what needs to be done.” You hate them for offering a suggestion. You dislike when others treat them with more respect than you. You feel anxious when they seem to make more decisions on the team while all you do is execute those decisions. While it may appear that they are overstepping their boundaries, in reality they might be simply fulfilling their role. What if your manager expects different things from you and them? What if they are getting ready for the next level role or simply trying to build new skills. What if you aren’t really at the same level as the other person? Most of the time a formal designation on the team is different from the role a person plays on the team. Getting clarity on roles and responsibilities is important to work effectively together. Speak candidly to the other person and share your observations. Clarify with your manager. Ask questions instead of making assumptions and living with those assumptions. We don’t really hash things out. We spend a lot of time avoiding uncomfortable conversations and not enough time making an effort to understand the people who live and work around us. It’s hard to overestimate the power of conversation. It’s hard to say too much about the gaps it can bridge and the wounds it can heal - Celeste Headlee All it takes to get past that role conflict is one good open and honest conversation. Don’t avoid it. Don’t delay it. Do it while there’s still time to prevent it from turning into a potentially messy conflict. Summary A role conflict can occur at work when you deal with conflicting priorities, when you are required to carry on a task that’s below your abilities, when you are expected to step into a role that doesn’t fit with your own attitudes and expectations, or when you are required to cooperate with different types of people. People who don’t learn to deal with a role conflict face negative emotions and emotional exhaustion at work. They show feelings of anger, frustration, anxiety, and fear. They have increased levels of job dissatisfaction, reduced motivation, and commitment towards work. To deal with a role conflict effectively, don’t climb the ladder of inference. Rather, challenge your assumptions and observations about the other person. Use your sense of autonomy to feel in control of your situation and employ effective problem-solving strategies to resolve the conflict. Don’t let a role conflict turn into a status or relationship conflict. See it for what it is. Follow me on for more stories. Twitter Previously published on . www.techtello.com

The Science of Productive Role Conflict

An argument with a coworker - conflict of opinion. Working on a project that doesn’t energize you - conflict of interest. Didn’t get the promotion - conflict of growth. Working super hard with no time for personal life - internal conflict. Saying yes to work that doesn’t align with your goals - conflict of priorities. Committed a mistake but can’t come to terms with accepting responsibility - conflict of values. We don’t realize it, but most interactions at work lead to a major or minor conflict. When it’s a minor conflict, we feel a sense of discomfort in our body but can’t pinpoint the exact source of the discomfort. Most of the time, we ignore this conflict while it sits within our subconscious as we go on with our daily life. A major conflict, though, looks and feels very different. Even though there’s no real danger, our mind perceives the conflict as a threat. Shaped by evolution to protect ourselves from the threats in our environment, the response is almost automatic and unconscious. We feel the pressure building up inside our body - rapid breathing, increased heartbeat, sweaty palms, a sensation of tightening in the neck and jaw. Our safety is not at risk here, though it certainly feels that way. It’s the result of our fight-or-flight response triggered by the amygdala in our brain, or as Daniel Goleman says in Emotional Intelligence, the perceived threat leads to “ .” amygdala hijack This fight-or-flight response is vital to our survival in other circumstances when there’s a real danger - . Since our brain can’t differentiate between real and perceived threat, it sets off the alarm bells even when it’s just an emotional attack and in the process restricts access to the prefrontal cortex, which is the thinking part of our brain inhibiting purposeful action exactly when we need it the most. to escape a burning building or when a speeding car on a highway heads into our lane We either try to fight the situation - becoming defensive and getting stuck with our perspective in a conversation “I’m right, you are wrong” or choose flight - try hard to suppress the emotion, often wasting energy that’s best spent in some constructive action. Conflict -> amygdala hijack -> restricted access to prefrontal cortex -> fight-or-flight response What matters most at the moment is not the conflict but how we react to it. Too often we react emotionally, get despondent, and lose our perspective. All that does is turn bad things into really bad things. Unhelpful perceptions can invade our minds—that sacred place of reason, action and will—and throw off our compass.” He says that we have a choice in how we respond to the situation “We can be blindly led by these primal feelings or we can understand them and learn to filter them. Discipline in perception lets you clearly see the advantage and the proper course of action in every situation— without the pestilence of panic or fear - Ryan Holiday Managing conflict demands that we calm down and think clearly. Instead of letting our reaction slip through our unconscious, we need to take charge of it in conscious awareness. Instead of letting destructive patterns of behavior be our default reaction, we can choose to engage in positive action. Seeing the conflict for what it is and not how it manifests at first. Managing conflict, the healthy way How we view a situation, changes everything. Doesn’t it? We can either view the conflict as a thing to be avoided or the source to get to the underlying truth. We can either let the negative feelings associated with a conflict obstruct our ability to think clearly, or we can give way to positive feelings to forge a better path ahead. We can either let the conflict seem like an attack on our identity or learn to disconnect our ideas from our identity and be open to exploring alternative viewpoints. In the moment, it may seem like others are foolish or stupid for not seeing your side of the story. But do you realize that they are probably feeling the same way too? Do you make an effort to understand why their thinking is different from yours? What makes them so confident about their argument? What if they are right and you are wrong? Every conflict doesn’t need to end with an agreement. You are sometimes better off with a healthy disagreement. Practice open-mindedness by exploring alternate viewpoints and give an opportunity to others to present the world as they see it. No judgments. No attachments. Only the desire to see gaps in your knowledge, humility to doubt your convictions, and the confidence in your ability to turn seemingly every bad situation into an opportunity to learn. Apply these 3 steps to manage conflict in a healthy way: 1. Take control of your emotions Conflict is an emotional experience, no doubt. It can lead to feeling hurt, a sense of disappointment, resentment towards others, frustration from not being heard, and anger from feeling ignored, mistreated, or disrespected. These painful emotions are so real that they can overwhelm your mind and make it hard to communicate effectively, especially in moments when it’s important to remain alert and calm. Without conscious awareness, you can become defensive about your position. You may stop thinking clearly and start acting weird. You don’t see it. Ohers do. The good part is you can learn to take charge of your emotions. Despite feeling these emotions, you can act in constructive ways. You can communicate without feeling threatened or intimidating others. What you need is emotional awareness - the ability to stay present without controlling or suppressing the sensations in your body. Use your emotions as cues to become alert. Is there a change in your tone of voice? Are you using defensive body language? Do you feel uncomfortable in the stomach or tension in any other part of your body? Now, ask yourself these questions: What do I feel - anger, sadness, disgust, fear... Why do I feel this way? Am I dealing with a conflict? How does this feeling affect me in the moment? You are not trying to resolve the conflict yet, but simply acknowledging its presence. And by doing so, you can come in touch with your real emotions. The opposite of recognizing that we’re feeling something is denying our emotions. The opposite of being curious is disengaging. When we deny our stories and disengage from tough emotions, they don’t go away; instead, they own us, they define us. Our job is not to deny the story, but to defy the ending—to rise strong, recognize our story, and rumble with the truth until we get to a place where we think, Yes. This is what happened. This is my truth. And I will choose how this story ends - Brene Brown With a willingness to face your emotions, you can now challenge them instead of internalizing and believing everything they are trying to convey. Not disregarding what you are feeling, but simply questioning whether you are feeling the right thing. Take a few deep breaths to calm yourself down and move on to step two. 2. Put things in perspective There’s the conflict itself, and then there’s a story we tell ourselves about it. When a coworker disagrees with you on a major decision, you may consider their disagreement as a sign of disrespect. When your boss refuses a promotion, you may think they are biased. When a teammate refuses to help out, you might call them insensitive and arrogant. But how do you know these stories are true or simply a creation of your mind? Do you challenge every thought that enters your mind? Do you seek new information, better evidence, especially disconfirming evidence? You absolutely should. Because once you let go of your story to give space to other perspectives, you create room for rational thoughts to kick in. Negative emotions and negative thoughts keep you in a charged-up state, lock you with a single-minded focus on making others see your way and keep you away from recognizing when your opinions are off the mark. By showing willingness to change your mind, accepting that you might just be wrong, you detach your identity from your ideas. You show openness to rethink your situation, and that gives you permission to flip the negative reaction with a more positive thought. Now you can try to stay objective by questioning yourself: What can be good about this situation? What triggered this conflict? What am I trying to achieve or afraid of losing? What can make me change my mind? What if I am wrong? What makes the other person think this way or what am I missing? All these questions will calm your mind by enabling the shift from blaming others to seeking solutions. From reacting to acting with intent. From trying to be right to find the right answers. From sticking to your point of view even if you are wrong to accepting vulnerability. From attaching with your ideas to finding joy in learning new information. Now that you are aware of and respect differences of opinion, move on to step three. 3. Focus on what can be controlled Once you open the door to let the doubt seep in, you can now focus on what Adam Grant calls in Think Again .” Because that’s the only thing under your control. “abandoning the overconfidence cycle and engaging in rethinking cycle He explains. In an overconfidence cycle, your pride breeds conviction rather than doubt. You are focused on changing other people’s minds while yours is set in stone. That makes you disregard every disconfirming piece of evidence and seek validation that reinforces your beliefs. In a rethinking cycle, you choose humility over pride, doubt over certainty, and curiosity over closure. Once you learn to question your current understanding, you become curious about the missing information. That leads you to new discoveries, which in turn certifies that you still have a lot to learn. With a learning mindset, you can automatically tune in to effective listening. Try to go beyond their words to their intent. Observe their body language for subtle hints. Listen without interruptions, without judgment, without any distractions. Ask questions. Seek clarifications. Show that you are willing to change your mind. And just by doing that, you can indirectly encourage others to abandon their overconfidence cycle and engage in the rethinking cycle. This technique works because “When we point out that there are areas where we agree and acknowledge that they have some valid points, we model confident humility and encourage them to follow suit. When we support our argument with a small number of cohesive, compelling reasons, we encourage them to start doubting their own opinion. And when we ask genuine questions, we leave them intrigued to learn more. We don’t have to convince them that we’re right—we just need to open their minds to the possibility that they might be wrong. Their natural curiosity might do the rest,” writes Adam Grant. Remember, though, these steps may not work. Others might become confrontational or try to escalate the situation. You can’t control them. All you can do is rethink your position. Maybe it’s best to sidestep. Not every conflict needs resolution, and not every conflict can be resolved. Summary Follow these three steps to manage conflict in a healthy manner: 1. Don’t deny or disengage with your emotions. Recognize them, accept them and then guide them into constructive action instead of engaging in destructive behaviors. Take control of your emotions: 2. Show willingness to change your mind by challenging your thoughts, accepting that you might be wrong, and detaching your ideas from your identity. Put things in perspective: 3. Abandon overconfidence cycle to engage in a rethinking cycle thereby encouraging others to follow suit. Focus on what can be controlled: at . Also, published https://www.techtello.com/managing-conflict/

Conflict Management: How to Engage in Rethinking Cycle

When we were small, we asked for help all the time. Dependent on our parents, friends, teachers, and siblings to help us navigate the complexities of life, asking for help seemed like the most natural thing to do. As a child, I don’t remember dealing with any painful emotion while asking for help, worrying about what it would do to my self-esteem or the damaging effect it can have on the image I have built for myself. I was simply happy to learn from everyone around me, knowing I could rely on people to give me useful advice when I needed one. Indeed, the best feeling in the world. Yet, somewhere along the way, the meaning of help changed. I had caught on to the bug of independence and individualism. Asking for help became less about learning and more about my identity. It made me question my own abilities. Will it make me look weak or incompetent? Will others think less of me if they find me dependent? Will people question my intelligence and smartness? I would much rather struggle through a task and waste countless hours without accomplishing anything than approach someone. I was hungry for information but ready to stay foolish. Uncertainty of the outcome, risk of rejection, fear of looking vulnerable or appearing needy was a very real feeling. I had mistakenly fallen prey to the myth as Brene Brown says in Rising Strong, “that successful people are those that help rather than need, and broken people need rather than help.” I was so stuck in the mindset that I didn’t realize that the real risk of asking for help wasn’t receiving criticism, facing rejection, or the feeling of shame in expressing what I don’t know. It was not finding my way to the advice I needed to move forward. I let my ego drive me for a long time while letting many opportunities slip by. That was years ago. The child within me demanded to go back to those carefree days when asking for help was just that “ask” and nothing more. I grappled with my fixed mindset for too long, but it was time to put it to rest. I learned to look past my fears into the value of seeking advice, reached out when I wasn’t making progress, and asked others for information I didn’t know. With less fixation on my feelings and more on what I wanted to achieve, the decision was simple - I couldn’t do it alone. No one can. Every major achievement requires collaboration across ideas, people, and processes. Sometimes you need the information, at other times people’s expertise, sometimes a buy-in on an idea or a project. Achieving success isn’t about working on our own. It requires working with others. Others can help us see what we are otherwise not able to see. Some of the most admired and successful people in the world do this: they constantly ask for help. Sit within your comfort zone, don’t ask for assistance, and stay where you are or break out of your self-imposed limits. Experience the joy in working with others and move forward. You can either be paralyzed by fear of asking for help and sit frozen before the many obstacles that lie ahead of you, or you can act. Choose. Asking for help is a strength In a addressed to students, Barack Obama said: speech Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I do that every day. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength. It shows you have the courage to admit when you don’t know something, and to learn something new. Absolutely. Asking for help signals self-awareness of our own limitations, humility to accept what we don’t know, and the courage to ask for it. It’s a sign that we are confident in our abilities to tackle whatever is standing in our way to get to where we need to go. Hardly anything about it says we are weak, incompetent, stupid or foolish. Look at it another way, when you ask for assistance, what’s the message you convey - This is where I am. This is where I need to go. It’s important to me. I believe you may have the knowledge I need to move forward. Asking for help is more about the other person than it’s about you - their abilities and expertise that may be useful to others. An opportunity for them to put their knowledge to use, build trust and strengthen the relationship. Feel good about their contribution, feel positive about the difference they are making, and in the process, feel good about themselves. Yes, shows that human beings find great pleasure in helping others. It’s the secret to living a more productive and meaningful life. research Shifting your focus from what you need to how the other person can help can be a powerful motivator in seeking the right kind of help - what are the qualities I am looking for in the other person, how can they be useful in solving this problem, what data or information they might need, what questions can they ask, have I tried everything before approaching them? No longer ruminating about whether to ask for help or not, you are now in action mode. Doing the things you need to do to advance in your goals. You have shifted your perspective and turned what you once considered a weakness into strength. You no longer sit on projects for weeks because you were reluctant to ask for help. Having done your work, you know when it’s time to get a new perspective. You aren’t afraid to explore a fresh idea or try a different strategy. Having attained confident humility, you are now in the sweet spot of confidence, as Adam Grant says in Think Again - You have faith in your capability while appreciating that you may not have the right solution or even be addressing the right problem. It gives you enough doubt to reexamine your old knowledge and enough confidence to pursue new insights Now, let's get to the real part. Actually asking for help. An effective and careful approach requires answering - . Who can help, How to say it, How to act, and What to do later The right and wrong ways of asking for help We will cover 4 steps in the process of asking for help using the mistakes in each one as an example of how to do it the right way. 1. Explicitly ask for it Most of us live with an illusion of transparency, believing that our thoughts, needs, and feelings are as obvious to others as they are to us. It’s obvious to us. Not so much to others. People can’t read our minds and predict what we need. Waiting around for others to notice our needs and then offer help is only going to lead to disappointment. We aren’t going to get any help unless we let people know that we need help. Unless we explicitly ask for it. We are also good at finding excuses on why we can’t get the help we need without putting in the effort - People around me can’t really help! They don’t know what I need! Don’t fall for it. Don’t quit before trying. Don’t make excuses for not making the request. Utilize your network that you put so much time into building - activate your weak connections, reach out to your dormant ties. Don’t make false assumptions around who can and can’t be useful. You will be surprised to find help where you least expected. also show that we typically underestimate how likely others are to help us and overestimate how likely others will come to us for help, said Frank Flynn, associate professor of organizational behavior at Stanford GSB. He adds: Studies This means not only are people not asking for help when in fact they could get it, but they’re not encouraging others to come to them for help when in fact they’re willing to offer it. That tells us that the ‘open-door’ policy is basically ineffective unless people are actively encouraged to use it. Get up, look around, and put in the effort to connect and get the help you need. You are going to get nothing if you do nothing. 2. State it as you need it Even when the agenda is crystal clear in our minds, we approach others with a sense of secrecy - Would love to get together and catch up! Let’s chat! Let’s connect over coffee! Want to pick your brain! We prefer vagueness over directness as if the information we have shouldn’t be shared right away. We kind of assume that it’s a better idea to beat around the bush instead of being direct in asking for help. Heidi Grant, a social psychologist, says: Such vague requests are just terrible. In her book, Reinforcements, she advises being specific and direct - state what you want and why you want it. “I need your help on” or “I want to connect to get your advice” or “I want us to work together on this project. Heidi Grant says that another mistake we make is using phrases that make the conversation unproductive. Don’t trivialize the request or make it unnecessary by saying, “I feel terrible asking you for this” or “I don’t normally ask for help.” Why should the other person give you their time when you feel so bad about the idea of asking for help? She says that using statements that make the other person feel trapped, are the worst - It’s just this tiny thing! May I ask you a favor! You want them to commit without really knowing what they are getting into. Make it easy for the other person to decide if they can offer help. What’s the point in tricking them into saying a “yes” when they can’t really be effective in helping you with your problem? Give them the details and let them decide - do I have the information this person needs, will I be effective, do I have the time, is there someone else better suited to help out? Thinking through these questions will enable them to do the right thing instead of offering help even when they aren’t in a position to help out. Keeping it too vague or too open-ended can prevent them from making the right decision. What’s the point in a half-hearted commitment? They won’t be motivated to solve your problem. Treating it like a burden, they will try to get away with it - anything to seal the deal and get going. People are motivated to help and will do everything to assist in the best possible manner when they feel in control of the decision - not because you need help, but because they want to help. If they refuse to help, don’t take it personally. Be positive and understanding. Move on to someone else. It's hard enough to give fearlessly, and it's even harder to receive fearlessly. But within that exchange lies the hardest thing of all: To ask. Without shame. And to accept the help that people offer. Not to force them. Just to let them ― Amanda Palmer, The Art of Asking 3. Put it into action Your work is not done. It’s just begun. You reached out for help and got the advice you needed to move forward. But do you agree with it? You don’t have to comply out of an obligation. Most people find it healthy when others disagree with them. Rather, they don’t expect you to do everything they suggest. Speak to them, put forward your viewpoint, discuss why the idea doesn’t connect with you or what other alternatives are possible. Don’t let things hang. Either decide to implement the idea or explore other possibilities. Once you have an idea that clicks, make an effort to actually put it into action. Delaying tactics never really work. I will do it someday turns into “It’s never going to happen.” You may feel uncertain about the outcome, fear how this decision will turn out, or worry about putting in so much effort, but you will not know unless you put it into action. Create a plan - when, where, and how exactly are you going to act on it. Set it up on your calendar so that you don’t have to make a daily decision. When it pops out, know it’s time to act. “When we get distracted, when we start caring about something other than our own progress and efforts, the process is helpful, if occasionally bossy, the voice in our head,” says Ryan Holiday in The Obstacle Is The Way. It is the bark of the wise, older leader who knows exactly who he is and what he’s got to do: Shut up. Go back to your stations and try to think about what we are going to do ourselves instead of worrying about what’s going on out there. You know what your job is. Stop jawing and get to work. The process is the voice that demands we take responsibility and ownership. That prompts us to act even if only in a small way - Ryan Holiday 4. Share your learnings Once you have the information you need, do you bother to let them know how it all worked out? You may not get the results you wanted or maybe you did or maybe it worked out much better than you expected. But do you take time to share these learnings with the person who helped you in the first place? We assume that people are too busy and don’t really care about it. We are absolutely wrong. People like to know the impact they have created. It’s what motivates them to help. Knowing what worked and what didn’t work not only helps you learn and grow, it helps them too. They aren’t perfect and everything they say isn’t guaranteed to work out either. Feedback loop from the people who took their advice and implemented it is a powerful source for them to know the effectiveness of their advice. It shows that you are not only invested in solving your problem, but care about them too. They are more likely to help out a second time around when you keep the relationship going instead of cutting off the ties as soon as you have the information you need. You can help yourself by helping them. Do you see how the whole experience of asking for help shapes you as a person? You not only learn new strategies, you also develop more confidence in your ability to experiment, try and do absolutely everything possible to move forward in your goals. You aren’t reluctant to seek help, more help, better help. Summary Asking for help does not reflect on your competence, nor does it signal you are stupid. It’s a sign you are confident in your abilities and self-aware to seek help in areas where you need it. The right way to ask for help involves: 1. Don’t assume people are mind readers. You aren’t going to get any help unless you explicitly ask for it. Make fewer assumptions, put in more effort. Explicitly ask for it: 2. Be specific. Be clear. Don’t be cryptic. Make it easy for the other person to decide if they can offer help or not. You need commitment, not charity. State it as you mean it: 3. The problem you are facing won’t resolve itself unless you act on it. Don’t agree to disagree. Disagree and commit. Commit to a process to put their advice into action. Put it into action: 4. Keep the relationship going. Don’t end it once you have the information you need. Help yourself by helping them learn about the outcome. Share your learnings: Previously published on https://www.techtello.com/how-to-ask-for-help/ .

Asking for Help the Right Way

We are programmed at an early age to think that mistakes are bad. Don’t make a mistake; you won’t get good grades. Choose the right career; there’s no going back. Make up your mind; there won’t be a second chance. You will regret this decision later. What were you really thinking? All this well-meaning advice rings loud and clear in our heads, conveying a simple message - . stay away from mistakes Living in a mistake-phobic culture that links mistakes with stupidity and incompetence - it isn’t easy to admit a mistake. While most of the decisions we make aren’t about life and death, and the consequences are rather trivial, we find it extremely hard to say, “I made a mistake.” We avoid taking responsibility for our actions and use blame, lies, and other fanciful stories to avoid looking like an idiot. So extreme is our reaction to mistakes that we wish ourselves out of existence, says Kathryn Schulz in Being Wrong. She adds: “Describing the moment of realizing certain mistakes, we say that we wanted to crawl into a cave, or fall through a hole in the floor, or simply disappear. And we talk about "losing face," as if our mistakes really did cause us to disappear-as if our identity was rubbed out by the experience of being wrong.” This thinking gets reinforced once we join the workforce. We soon realize that people don’t encourage open discussions, ask questions or use humility and curiosity to get to the underlying root cause. Rather blame gets in the way of embracing failure lessons. We notice that no one practices openness or has patience and tolerance for mistakes. We adapt to a work culture where admitting mistakes becomes synonymous with taking the blame. The mental energy best put to use in solving problems is spent in avoiding mistakes or covering them up once they do happen. What mistake! I didn’t make a mistake! I did my best! It wasn’t simply possible! It was the right thing to do! Covering up mistakes instead of owning them leads to a rift between couples, loss of trust between friends, unhealthy practices at work and it even stalls our own personal growth. Friedrich Nietzsche, a German philosopher, once stated, “What doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger.” It conveys a simple fact - the path to success goes through failure. It’s scattered with mistakes, big and small, and when confronted with challenges, we emerge on the other side more confident than we began. How can we learn from our mistakes unless we admit that we made them in the first place? But it’s not as easy as it sounds. Acknowledging a mistake is simply an acknowledgment of its existence. Accepting our part in it is an altogether different story. Even if we seem open to the idea of learning from our mistakes, self-justification can get in the way. The Siren Song of Self-justification Most of us think of learning from mistakes as a three-step process: Acknowledge the mistake. Reflect on what went wrong and assimilate it into easy-to-implement strategies. Put these strategies into action. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. Not so much. It’s more complicated than that. Usually, when we make a mistake, we feel an emotion - anger, sadness, disappointment, frustration, hopelessness, anxiety, fear, or embarrassment, and then we try to rationalize that emotion. We give it a language by telling ourselves a story. It’s at this stage that reality goes up for distortion as self-justification kicks in. And self-justification is really good at its job. It won’t budge once you let it in by ignoring any outside information that interferes with its own conclusion. Self-justification is the lie we tell ourselves, says Elliot Aronson, a psychologist who has carried out multiple experiments on the theory of cognitive dissonance in . He explains - Mistakes were made (but not by me) Self-justification not only minimizes our mistakes and bad decisions; it is also the reason that everyone can see a hypocrite in action except the hypocrite. That is why self-justification is more powerful and more dangerous than the explicit lie. It allows people to convince themselves that what they did was the best thing they could have done. In fact, come to think of it, it was the right thing Since self-justification works beneath consciousness, we do not even realize that it’s protecting us by acting as a shield and shunning away our responsibility. It feeds our mind with alternative theories to describe our experience, one where we aren’t responsible for the mistake. : Couldn’t finish the project on time. Mistake : The product team didn’t provide the requirements clearly. Self-justification : Forgot to call mom on her birthday. Mistake : It’s not that big a deal. She doesn’t even remember her own birthday. Self-justification : Lost a major deal. Mistake : What a stupid bunch. They can’t even see their own loss. Good, this didn’t work out. I can now spend my energy with people who are worth my time. Self-justification : A marketing strategy that failed and cost the company a lot of money. Mistake : It indeed was a great strategy. No one could have anticipated the shift in market demand. We at least survived. Look at others who couldn’t keep up with this change. Self-justification With self-justification by our side, the courage to accept the reality of our situation, and the humility to do the right thing never even crosses our minds. After all, we don’t know what we don’t know. We are oblivious to self-justification. Think about some of your mistakes in the past - did you do the right thing or taking the best possible action? Since we don’t question our own thinking, how can we ever catch our flawed justification? Elliot Aronson explains how over time, as the self-serving distortions of memory kick in, we forget or distort past events and come to believe our own lies, little by little. He adds - We know we did something wrong, but gradually we begin to think it wasn't all our fault, and after all the situation was complex. We start underestimating our own responsibility, whittling away at it until it is a mere shadow of its former hulking self. Before long, we have persuaded ourselves, believing privately what we originally said publicly Everyone Makes Mistakes N. Wayne Hale Jr. was launch integration manager at NASA in 2003, when seven astronauts died in the explosion of the space shuttle Columbia. In a , Hale took full responsibility for the disaster. He accepted his mistake: letter to NASA employees “I had the opportunity and the information, but I failed to make use of it. I don't know what an inquest or a court of law would say, but I stand condemned in the court of my own conscience to be guilty of not preventing the Columbia disaster. We could discuss the particulars: inattention, incompetence, distraction, lack of conviction, lack of understanding, a lack of backbone, laziness. The bottom line is that I failed to understand what I was being told; I failed to stand up and be counted. Therefore look no further; I am guilty of allowing Columbia to crash.” Even though a worker at Kennedy Space Center had complained to him that they hadn't heard any NASA managers admit to being at fault for the disaster, he said: "I cannot speak for others, but let me set my record straight. I am at fault." He wrote in his letter: “The nation has told us to get up, fix our shortcomings, fly again — and make sure it doesn't happen again. ... The nation is giving us another chance. Not just to fly the shuttle again, but to continue to explore the universe in our generation.” This describes how he solved the cultural problems at NASA. He said, “The first thing we've got to do is we've got to put the arrogance aside.” He became a listener. When an engineer came to him with an issue after the accident, even if he didn't understand it, he tried. Hale oversaw many of the shuttle flights after the accident. It did not fail again. He says they made plenty of changes to checklists. But he thinks the biggest change was that everyone who worked at NASA became better at talking — and listening. That’s the power of acknowledging mistakes and learning from them. NPR article In another astonishing event, Oprah Winfrey dedicated an entire show apologizing for making a mistake. This is how the goes. story A Million Little Pieces, published in 2003, was James Frey’s memoir of drug addiction and recovery. Oprah Winfrey picked up the book for her popular on-air book club, an endorsement that boosted Frey’s sales into millions as his memoir climbed the best sellers list. Later in October 2005, Frey appeared on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” to promote his book, which Oprah had previously said she “couldn’t put down,” calling it “a gut-wrenching memoir that is raw and it’s so real.” Then on January 8, 2006, The Smoking Gun website published that Frey had falsified and exaggerated many parts of his story. At first, Oprah justified her support for Frey when she called the “Larry King Live” show and said, “The underlying message of redemption in James Frey's memoir still resonates with me, and I know that it resonates with millions of other people who have read this book, and will continue to read this book.” But later, Oprah realized her mistake and took responsibility for it. She got Frey onto her show once again and started right off with an apology for her call to Larry King Live show she said to her audience. "I regret that phone call", "I made a mistake and I left the impression that the truth does not matter and I am deeply sorry about that because that is not what I believe. I called in because I love the message of this book and at the time and every day I was reading e-mail after e-mail from so many people who have been inspired by it. And, I have to say that I allowed that to cloud my judgment. And so to everyone who has challenged me on this issue of truth, you are absolutely right.” Later in the , she even told Washington Post columnist Richard Cohen who had called Oprah “not only wrong but deluded” that she was impressed with what he said because “sometimes criticism can be very helpful. So thank you very much. You were right. I was wrong.” Towards the end of the hour, the New York Times columnist Frank Rich appeared on the show to echo Richard Cohen, giving kudos to Oprah for speaking up, for taking a stand. "The hardest thing to do is admit a mistake," he said. show If Oprah and Hale could acknowledge their mistakes in front of millions of people, why can’t we do it too? Mistakes are not terrible personal failings that need to be denied or justified; they are inevitable aspects of life that can help us grow. Letting Go and Owning Up People make mistakes all the time. They start companies they think they can manage. They have grand and bold visions that were a little too grandiose. This is all perfectly fine; it’s what being an entrepreneur or a creative or even a business executive is about. We take risks. We mess up. The problem is that when we get our identity tied up in our work, we worry that any kind of failure will then say something bad about us as a person. It’s a fear of taking responsibility, of admitting that we might have messed up. It’s the sunk cost fallacy. And so we throw good money and good life after bad and end up making everything so much worse - Ryan Holiday Does this attitude lead to great things? Absolutely not. What does - letting go, owning up, and moving on. The only way to own up to our mistakes is to be attentive to our own thinking and catch ourselves before it’s too late. We need to act before self-justification kicks in. Instead of letting automatic thinking drive our decision, we need to recognize the moment of discomfort when we first learn about our mistakes. When we first feel an emotion, instead of letting self-justification cloud our judgment, we need to insert a moment of self-declaration “I made a mistake. I can learn from it.” By saying this out loud multiple times, we can empower our minds to adopt a solution mode instead of adopting a self-defeating goal of pushing blame externally. We can choose a different experience, one in which we no longer hide behind our mistakes, look to them as a measure of our competence or feel robbed of our identity because of them. We can adopt the mindset of a learner by considering our mistakes as a learning experience, a teaching moment on how our behaviors and actions define our future, an acceptance that mistakes are a necessary part of building new skills and acquiring new knowledge. Being wrong won’t always be joyful. The path to embracing mistakes is full of painful moments, and we handle those moments better when we remember they’re essential for progress. But if we can’t learn to find occasional glee in discovering we were wrong, it will be awfully hard to get anything right - Adam Grant Once we acknowledge our mistake, analyzing it is the next difficult step. It’s easy to get carried away by emotions and speed through the analysis by attaching superficial reasons or drawing insignificant conclusions. Don’t fall for it. You can’t really learn from your mistake unless you move from addressing the symptom to exploring the root cause. Fix the symptom, and you will find yourself repeating this process quite often. Fix the root cause, and there, you have stopped the mistake from happening again, saving yourself time and energy to do the real work. A great technique to identify the root cause is the technique designed by Sakichi Toyoda who used it within Toyota Motor Corporation during the evolution of its manufacturing methodologies. It goes like this - Ask why the mistake occurred and use the response from the first question as the basis for the next question. Repeat this process (5 is a general recommendation, you can stop at 3 or keep going) unless you have the answer that seems right. For example: five-whys : “Why did I miss the meeting yesterday?” : I slept till late in the morning Q A : “Why did I sleep till late in the morning?” : I was working till late the previous night Q A : “Why was I working till late the previous night?” : I am running behind an upcoming deadline and need to catch up on my work Q A : “Why am I running behind on my deadline?” : I did the wrong effort estimation Q A : “Why did I do the wrong effort estimation?” : I did not spend time analyzing the complexity of the problem and was overconfident in my abilities Q A This example is a clear demonstration of how the original answer to the mistake differs greatly from the actual source of the problem. Unless time is invested in solving the estimation problem, more such mistakes will keep cropping up. Now that you know how useful mistakes are; let go of the burden of covering up your mistakes and take pleasure in owning them. Even if you have been told throughout your life that “mistakes are bad” and the culture around you still supports the belief, you can choose to opt out of it. You can stand apart and be an outlier. Through your actions, you can encourage others to rethink their conclusions too. Isn’t that worth a try? Ending with these thoughts from Ben Horowitz as stated in this : article "All the mental energy that you use to elaborate your misery would be far better used trying to find the one, seemingly impossible way out of your current mess. It’s best to spend zero time on what you could have done and all of your time on what you might do. Because in the end, nobody cares.” Previously published on https://www.techtello.com/learning-from-mistakes/ .

Letting Go And Owning Up: Strategies For Learning From Mistakes

How can I make motivation part of my life to do things that will help me achieve my goals in the long run? For me, motivation was a state of mind. Some days I was all excited and motivated to get to my toughest goals and important tasks that I had avoided in the past. Then there were other times I felt lost, unsure of how to make even tiny progress on things I got to do. I knew that none of our desires can be fulfilled without motivation - eating healthy, working out, sleeping better, reading more, being or anything else that we wish to achieve. We may make some progress in the short term but without motivation it won’t last long and we will soon go back to our old habits. productive Yet, my mind was occupied with - thoughts about my past, tasks that I never started and objectives I did not achieve. It made me feel like a failure, not mustering enough courage to plan ahead and blamed it on lack of motivation. overthinking I thought motivation is something that happens to us - I either have it or I don’t. Like other human beings, I was completely irrational. I did not do what was in my best interest even though I wanted it badly. I rationalised my inaction as lack of motivation and attributed it to being too busy or too lazy to do things I should really be doing. Then, I had this aha moment. I learnt that motivation doesn’t happen to us, it’s a muscle that we need to build. That simple truth completely changed my life. It's what inspired me to design and set my own motivation flywheel in action. How different our lives are when we really know what is deeply important to us, and, keeping that picture in mind, we manage ourselves each day to be and to do what really matters most - Stephen R. Covey Motivation is not thoughts, it’s the action that drives it We go to bed feeling motivated after watching an inspirational talk, but the next morning we are back to the same routine with the same old habits. Why does this happen? It’s because the inspiration from the talk releases dopamine in our brains that makes us feel good in the moment but once the moment has passed, we do not make an effort to act. Reading a great book, a blog post, watching a video, listening to podcasts are all prominent things to set our thinking in motion. But by themselves, they do not help us achieve anything. Lack of motivation is not lack of information, it’s the lack of behaviour to put that knowledge to use. Only the act itself can set motivation flywheel in action. It’s the tiny step in the direction of our goals, crossing the first hurdle, making an effort to break the mental barrier and not give in to our fears. It’s asking “How can I make today better than yesterday and tomorrow better than today?” Many people think they lack motivation when what they really lack is clarity. It is not always obvious when and where to take action. Some people spend their entire lives waiting for the time to be right to make an improvement - James Clear How does motivation help us Tasks are always daunting in the beginning and even tiny little progress demands a lot of motivation. The positive change resulting from our effort is so minor in the beginning that we fail to notice it. It may seem like we are standing where we started and it’s often easy to give up. But, it’s exactly at this point that we need to keep pushing forward. With practice and repetition, our brain adapts to new information, creates patterns of learning and switches to autopilot. Tasks that once demanded a lot of effort and motivation soon become trivial. Once our mind aligns with our new routines, it helps us push our own limits instead of fighting back. The mental source of energy that comes from taking action turns impossible to possible. We do not fear failure anymore once we learn to find pleasure in trying. Motivation moves us from procrastination to action, pain to gain, gap to learning, shackles to freedom and imagination to reality. It’s what turns our desires to habits and sets the flywheel in action. Techniques to set motivation flywheel in action It may be wonderful to visualise the end state without dealing with the setbacks along the way. However, learning what can pull you back is as important as determining how to get started. Some of the important questions to answer while learning how to get motivated and take action are: What are the bottlenecks to get me started? What can cause me to stop once I start? How do I know what to do once I get started? What if I am not capable of achieving it? How do I know if I am making progress? Follow these techniques to remove the barrier to getting started, build the rhythm and improve as you move along: 1. Start today, don’t wait till tomorrow Do not wait for the motivation to kick in to get started. Remember motivation is in action and not waiting for some bells to ring in your ears, some inner voice that will tell you “today is a good day; now is a good time”. Even if you don’t feel like it, which is by the way the most common excuse we give ourselves, nothing will change today that will bring in the extra motivation tomorrow. Today is as good as tomorrow. Take control and break the first barrier to motivation by: Shifting your mental energy from thinking to doing Believing that there’s no better day to start than today Setting a micro goal for today without worrying about tomorrow Committing to take one small step Telling yourself “Once I gain momentum, the task will seem much more feasible” Initiate your motivation flywheel today and just feel the difference. 2. Set a schedule around your motivation Early in my engineering career, I picked up salsa dancing and started training at a dance academy. I was always fascinated with dance but there was something about the salsa moves that got me enchanted. My love for this new form of dance grew as much as my passion for coding and building products. At the same time, my responsibilities started expanding and it became extremely difficult to continue the classes. Even though I had to attend classes only 3 days a week, I ended up postponing each day while lying to myself “I will finish this work today and definitely make it to the class tomorrow”. As I continued missing my classes and practice, I felt terrible. It impacted me emotionally but I didn’t do anything to fix the situation. Then one Saturday morning, I thought about the problem. Instead of asking “How can I continue to attend the classes?”, I applied inversion to my thinking and questioned “What prevents me from attending them?” I realised that the biggest obstacle to motivation was making the daily decision - finishing up the work or making it to the class? So, I decided to block 3 days of the week for my classes and moved all my other activities around it. Once on my calendar, I removed a barrier to daily decision-making that enabled me to achieve my personal as well as professional goals. I no longer had to make a decision, simply attend the class as the decision has been made. A tiny step in the right direction (the simple act of scheduling it on my calendar) kicked in the motivation and the schedule assisted me to stick to it. Interestingly, it also helped me get better at my job as I was able to spend more mental energy on my work and less dealing with the fear of missing my class again. Whether it’s the desire to provide continuous feedback to your direct reports, invest in daily reading, workout in the gym, eat healthy or anything else you wish to achieve, the second step to give momentum to motivation flywheel is to schedule it. Remember this from Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People “The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities” 3. Turn your motivation into a routine Once we find the courage to act and set a schedule around our goals, the next hurdle is knowing where to begin. A daily decision on how to start can be challenging and a major contributing factor in determining whether we continue moving forward on our plans or fall back to our old patterns. Setting a routine around our goals can help us kick start the activity without much effort. Here are examples of some of the routines that I follow: For yoga, lay down the mat before waking up my daughter and then practice Surya Namaskar for the first 5 mins For my writing goal, set up my table with a bottle of water and read what I wrote the previous day For team feedback, read my notes from the previous discussions For reading, read the first two chapters of the next 3 books in my Goodreads “Want To Read” list and then pick one to start unless I am already reading something in which case just continue where I last left Simple routines like these keep the motivation flywheel going by removing the barrier to getting started and bringing you in touch with what you want to achieve. The cue then sets the motion and builds the momentum to continue and explore new ways to reach your goals. 4. Seek help to make progress on your goals Trying to achieve something which is not in our area of competence and hence too difficult for us can be scary. Input without any output can be highly demotivating along the way. The progress can be slow and painful, making us question our choices, re-evaluate our strategies and even doubt our sanity to take it in the first place. At times like these, an outside perspective can help us see beyond our own biases and look at the problem from a different point of view. We think we need to change our results, but the results are not the problem. What we really need to change are the systems that cause those results. When you solve problems at the results level, you only solve them temporarily. In order to improve for good, you need to solve problems at the systems level. Fix the inputs and the outputs will fix themselves - James Clear Reach out to friends, family, colleagues and share where you stand in the moment, what you desire and seek advice on how to move forward. Even join groups and networks with similar interests and learn from people who have done this in the past. You don’t have to follow every piece of advice that comes your way, but the information will be valuable enough for you to make an informed decision on how to move ahead. It will prevent the motivation flywheel from being stuck by giving it an opportunity to learn from others. 5. Set up a feedback loop for your motivation What’s measured improves. Learning from your own experience and finding ways to improve will set you on a path that is rewarding and fulfilling. Setting up a feedback loop for your motivation flywheel will keep it realistic and capable of improvements. You may not have all the answers on day 1 or even day 10. But repeating these questions to yourself and spending time in deep inquiry will slowly give you the answers: What did I achieve today and how can I make it better tomorrow? What should I continue doing, what should I stop and what new activities I need to pick up? What are my fears? What are my strengths? Do my strategy and tactics work or do I need to re-evaluate my choices? Are my choices aligned with my principles and values? What do my close friends and family feel about it? Once you start employing these practices in your daily life, you will notice a transformation in how you approach new goals. Instead of the initial resistance and procrastination, you will find yourself setting schedules and routines around your goals, being more open to seeking help and finding ways to improve. Creating a schedule and routine around your motivation will slowly turn it into a habit, a way of doing things. I hope this will inspire you to take that first step today. Don’t simply get inspired, act now. Summary Previously published at https://www.techtello.com/motivation-flywheel/

5 Incredibly Simple Yet Useful Tips To Push Your Motivation Flywheel 

As a leader of an organisation, the question “what needs attention” was always top of my mind. I realised that without taking real inputs from people in the organisation, any decisions I make and the direction I provide will be nothing but my own biased view of what people want, not what they need. Looking down from 10000 ft above the ground, you may see the greenery of the forests, ice-covered mountains, beautiful terrains, and vastness of the oceans. It’s only when you get to the ground, the rough patches start to surface. Once you notice the new reality, you can shift your perspective to align with the real world. I realised that this is so true at work too. If I let hierarchy magnify the distance that I have from my people especially those who do not report to me, I can never learn about the issues that impact people on a day-to-day basis. Are they looking for more empowerment, recognition, engagement, growth or are they happy with the way things are? How are they learning? Without diving deep into people’s minds, I can never develop the intelligence and perspective required to stay close to reality. So I decided to go to the source, hear it from their own mouth without any presumptions. Before I share my learnings from skip-level meetings, you may be wondering why I could not trust my direct reports to provide me this information. What’s truly so valuable about skip-level meetings that I had to skip my direct reports and speak to the people reporting to them. Put another way, why was it worth my time? What value do skip-level meetings provide? If I wanted to create a map for my organisation that can help people determine which paths to avoid and which ones to take to be successful in the long run, I had two options: Option 1 - Design all possible paths and subject them to my interpretation based on my beliefs and assumptions. Aside from being highly complex, it will be limited to my circle of competence and those of my direct reports Option 2 - Draw on the collective knowledge of all the people in my org and overlay their knowledge with my experience to design this map Aside from the fact that option 2 helps unearth real problems, it’s very effective in finding patterns that either enable people to move forward or hold them back. If I could access the personal map every person uses to navigate the organisation, I could design a strategy that enables everyone to be more effective in their work. As Peter Drucker said in his book, The Effective Executive The more aware we are of our basic paradigms, maps, or assumptions, and the extent to which we have been influenced by our experience, the more we can take responsibility for those paradigms, examine them, test them against reality, listen to others and be open to their perceptions, thereby getting a larger picture and a far more objective view In any organisation, all strategies and tactics are useless without clarity on what we are trying to achieve and why it’s the right direction for the organisation and its people. Accessing this map is fundamental to uncover hidden treasures and design a long term strategy that’s rooted in the collective power of minds. Each individual MAP gave me access to information that could be put to use to draw patterns of behaviour and thinking in the organisation. Notice the idea of meeting my indirect reports is not to spy on people who report to me. Though done right, it can also be used to draw valuable insights about how they feel about their manager. Make an attempt to inquire about their manager directly and they will never share true feedback. While learning about their M-mindset, A-awareness and P-priorities (their personal map) helps get below the surface to uncover reality. Another positive side-effect of meeting them face-to-face that I didn’t realise at the time was the connection and the trust that it established. Knowing each person by name, learning about what they value, and how they are doing helped me establish a deeper bond with each one of them. I truly found value in meeting every single one of them and looked forward to each such interaction. MAP framework for effective skip-level meetings Asking the right questions and giving an opportunity to the other person to speak is at the heart of every useful conversation. L. David Marquet suggests in his book, Turn The Ship Around If you walk about your organisation talking to people, I’d suggest that you be as curious as possible. As with a good dinner table conversationalist, one question should naturally lead to another. The time to be questioning or even critical is after trust has been established. With that in mind, let’s understand what this framework provides: M - Mindset Mindset reflects their feelings. These feelings provide indirect answers to a lot of questions that are otherwise very difficult to analyse Do they feel fearful or safe to take risks Are they empowered to make decisions or seek approval for every action Do they get the required support that helps them move forward or find themselves struggling every step of the way Do they feel recognised for their work or ignored without appreciation How do they feel being part of their team and this organisation Do they find the culture of the company conducive to learning or restrictive in growth How do they perceive fairness in the organisation Once you understand how they feel without judgement or opinion, you can connect their mindset to levels of awareness, which takes us to the next step in the map. A - Awareness Awareness reflects their understanding of the organisation and their relationship to it. It offers key insights into the awareness level of the person Are they aware of their personal goals Do they understand their goals as a team and how are they relevant Can they find a connection of their team to the vision and mission of the org How do they view the success of the company and their personal success Do they see how their work is aligned with the direction of the company What do they feel about other teams and functions Do they find value in engaging outside their teams How can they contribute beyond their assigned responsibilities Understanding this connection of an individual to the larger purpose of the organisation opens the gateway to finding their priorities. P - Priorities Priorities of a person reflect what they truly care about. Every person has different core needs at work that shapes how they perceive information and experience the world around them. It’s how they behave, decide, and act in the workplace. Learning about their priorities requires understanding What’s top of their mind What do they find valuable in their work How do they react to new information or changes around them At this moment, do they need growth, stability or flexibility This map serves as a mental model to help connect the dots to what’s working for people and what prevents them from doing their best work. Now that I had a framework in place to derive value from skip-level meetings, I needed to put it into practice. I had to determine the right frequency that will add value to our conversations. How often do you need skip-level meetings? If you are a director, VP, or someone in a CXO position, you may have a few direct reports (other managers) with a large number of people reporting to them. Depending on the number of indirect reports, balance out the schedule such that it’s not too frequent nor too far apart. I preferred meeting everyone once a quarter for 30 mins. You can do it for 45-60 mins as well depending on your comfort level and change it as you go once the momentum is established. Assume you have 80 indirect reports and you choose to meet them once a quarter for 30-45 mins, all that’s needed is 5 hours each week on your calendar, which is nothing compared to the value it provides in the long run. With framework and frequency determined, the next step is to start on the right note. How to start skip-level meetings? There are 2 key elements of putting your intent to action: 1 - Messaging it right If the process of doing skip-level meetings is new to your organisation, it’s extremely important to inform your managers about your intent to meet their direct reports and explain what it means to you and them. Sharing your perspective on how it helps the organisation sets the right tone for the purpose of the discussion. Keeping them in the loop on this decision not only builds trust, it avoids the confusion and anxiety that might come from not knowing. 2 - Scheduling it It doesn’t matter which person you pick to start, but it’s important to schedule it for every single member of your org. The information that you are meeting indirect reports will spread faster than you can imagine. Try to do it across teams picking people from different roles and backgrounds every week to avoid people feeling left out or biased. The invite should be thoughtful and precise with the objective of the meeting as an intent to collaborate instead of a one-sided conversation. From my experience, a recurring invite from the beginning also establishes your seriousness and commitment to do it right and not make people consider it as a one-off thing. How to make the most of skip-level meetings? I observed myself going through 3 stages of skip-level meetings. The time in each stage varied from person-to-person depending on how they viewed these meetings and the effort they were willing to put in to add value to the conversation. To be honest, not every interaction was super useful and some were quite draining due to the drama in the conversation. However, people willing to engage in a meaningful dialogue provided value that far outweighed some little episodes of emotional stress along the way. To make the most of skip-level meetings, it’s important to observe how your relationship with each person goes through these 3 stages. As skip-level meetings are far apart, typically a few months, the context from the previous meeting brings in a ton of value to the current discussion. I preferred taking notes along the way to help me remember key points from the discussion for our next meeting. It’s also very interesting to notice how their map (mindset, awareness, priorities) has shifted in the last few months trending in the positive or negative direction. Stage of curiosity Each person has a different personality. Some are quiet, others loud and expressive. Some struggle with words, while others can impress you with it. Some are honest and straightforward, while others will try to exaggerate or blow a situation out of proportion. Some enjoy their work without the need for attention while others do work to get the necessary attention. Understanding each person in terms of their personality is an important element to make the most out of these discussions and form a balanced view of their thoughts and opinions. Always start with yourself. Share a bit about your passions, what motivates you, your background, what brought you to this company, and any other personal details that might be relevant for the person to feel comfortable. To establish the connection and learn about each person’s personality, actively listen by going beyond words to their body language, tone, and intent. These non-verbal cues will provide invaluable information to understand each person better. Some good questions to ask in this stage: How would you describe yourself I am curious to know about your past work, family and education What’s most valuable about work What do you hate or find extremely frustrating about your job Who is the most meaningful person in your life and why Who do you enjoy working with What does learning mean to you What’s been your biggest struggle so far and what did you learn from it How do you find traveling to work everyday With a peek into their world, it’s the right time to learn more about their maps. Stage of learning Getting people to open up is a really tricky job. It will require you to play a little bit of a detective and push the right levers to get to the underlying message. Be flexible in your thinking without being biased or quick to jump to conclusions about what you hear. Take time to process the information and try to infer patterns from these discussions. Key is to ask some great follow-up questions to some of these initial questions: How do you feel about your work - positive, negative or neutral How do you see yourself contributing to decisions in the team What do you like about your role and the organisation Do you see yourself as part of a team What are some issues that bothered you recently What’s the biggest value you bring to your team How do you see the connection of your work to the goals of your team and the mission of your org What’s the most important thing in your life right now that you value and want to prioritise. What are you willing to trade-off to make it happen How do you invest in learning? Do you find company’s environment supportive in enabling it What’s the biggest mistake you made recently and what did you learn from it? How did you feel in the moment - criticised, supportive, fearful, empowered One person you look up to beyond your team - from other teams and functions While there are hundreds of questions on this theme, I guess you get the idea of the kind of questions that can get you started. Don’t scratch the surface, try to go as deep as possible without pushing too hard. Know when it’s time to back off. Stage of trust After multiple conversations, when people see that you truly care about their well being, there’s a shift from answering questions to seeking answers, openness to engage and share without apprehension. As trust starts to emerge and you sense a level of comfort with your indirect report, it’s time to seek some honest feedback. Ask about how you can do better, what should you do more, start doing or stop doing to enable them to do their work better. They may have nothing to say the first time around. Reframe it, ask again and be silent until you get them to speak up. Silence is a very powerful tool at your disposal. Use it as much as possible to give a chance to the other person to express. Don’t get defensive or try to explain if you get some critical feedback, simply hear them out and chew on the information later. Skip-level meetings done right can be a powerhouse of useful information, a chance to connect and care, learn and grow, and do the right thing for your organisation and its people. It will be the best investment of your time as a leader. Do you see a value in skip-level meetings? What are your learnings from them? Previously published at https://www.techtello.com/skip-level-meetings/

Skip-Level Meetings And How To Run Them

Fear of not being included, fear of not knowing, fear of status, fear of failure, fear of unknowns, fear of criticism, fear of change, fear of being an imposter can cause a leader to act in undesirable ways. Leading from fear can create a toxic culture in which people play safe, avoid mistakes and lay low in effect creating an organisation that does not grow due to mediocre performance and unrealised potential. Fear is natural, even in leaders. It is not a bad thing as long as you learn to manage it and put it to productive use by not letting it be the basis of how you act or make decisions. When a team performs poorly, energy in the environment seems low and employees appear to be disengaged and unmotivated, leaders need to take one hard look at how others perceive them in the workplace and the impact their behaviour and action has on others. Leading from fear, even if unintentionally can have profound impact on whether people in the organisation feel connected, cared for and empowered or pushed aside, constrained to make decisions and held back to voice their opinions. To be an effective leader, you need to overcome your fears. The first step to improve anything is to recognise and acknowledge it. John Maxwell put this so succinctly “You can’t grow yourself unless you know yourself”. Remember, leadership is not in the title. It’s in simple acts - shift from me to we, give up control, build trust, genuinely care for your people, learn from your mistakes, accept you don’t know, value multiple viewpoints and seek feedback to learn from your blind spots. This change won’t happen overnight and it will be hard. You can lead a life of significance and be the leader your people want by learning to recognise these 9 signs of leading from fear. 9 signs you are leading from fear Awareness and acceptance is the first state of transformation. As a leader, you may believe that you do not lead from fear, which may be far from reality. In The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership, Jim Dethmer and Diana Chapman describes how self-awareness is extremely powerful for leaders Once leaders develop self-awareness, they create the possibility for shifting, a master skill of conscious leaders. Shifting is moving from closed to open, from defensive to curious, from wanting to be right to wanting to learn, and from fighting for the survival of the individual ego to leading from a place of security and trust. If you are willing to let go of your ego and be open to face reality, these 9 signs will provide guidance to determine if you are leading from fear and headed in the wrong direction. 1. Run around with fear of missing out Do you feel like you need to be part of every discussion, every meeting, every decision? Will things go wrong if you are not involved? If being in charge gives you the rush, you are dealing with FOMO - fear of missing out. The desire to be in control every minute of the day stems from lack of trust in your team and not giving them enough opportunity to step up and take charge. Without empowering your team to make independent decisions you either need to be omnipresent or run the risk of building an unproductive team that achieves too little and does not grow. When people in the team need confirmation and approval every step of the way, they do not develop instincts and thinking required to be self-reliant, which hampers their growth in the long run. 2. Make safe decisions with fear of failure If you ignore new learning opportunities, seek simple goals, avoid making hard decisions and lack commitment to vision and goals, you may be dealing with fear of failure. Being risk-averse prevents you from taking up any new challenges with the fear you might fail. Without the courage to even try, you create a workplace environment where safe choices are preferred over creativity and innovation. When people in the team learn to play safe, the focus to succeed at all costs prevents them from questioning the effectiveness of their work. As active curiosity through experimentation, exploration, and constructive conflicts takes a back seat, learning in the team stalls leading to unhappiness and dis-satisfaction. Remember, failure teaches us what success can’t. As a leader if you do not encourage risk-taking, you will not let people make mistakes which is essential to learning and growth. 3. Hold onto status with fear of criticism Are you afraid to seek inputs from your team, do you encourage opinions that agree with your viewpoint and reject ideas that are not inline with your assumptions and beliefs? If you consider difference of opinion as an attack on your status, you are dealing with fear of criticism. Silence is not a sign of acceptance within the team, it’s an indication that people in your team do not see value in sharing their thoughts. People who engage with others and inspire them to voice their opinions and exchange ideas with the intent to find a better solution as opposed to considering it as a means to increase their status by proving a point are able to build trust and respect with their team members. They do not consider disapproval as a sign of criticism, but rather as a means to enable better collaboration. Criticism is not an attack on your intelligence or a means to challenge your status, it’s a let out for creativity and innovation. 4. Do not challenge directly with fear of conflict Do you avoid difficult conversations, procrastinate with the hope that issues will resolve themselves or ignore conflicts with the feeling that you are not capable of handling it? If challenging directly gives you an uncomfortable feeling, you have a fear of conflict. Ignoring issues and not attending to them at the right time can cause mis-understanding and un-alignment on expectations with far reaching consequences in the future. When dealing with feelings of self doubt as an imposter and not able to muster up the courage to handle the conflict, remember the right attitude with the intent to gain a better perspective on the situation will enable you to engage in a constructive discussion. Difficult conversations are a ladder to success in organisations. Without them, people in the organisation will be out of sync with reality and will fail to achieve desired outcomes. 5. Do not question the status quo with fear of dislike If you act in confirmation with others with a desire to please them, if likability is important to you and if you seek approval to make others happy, then you fear being disliked. Going with easy and popular opinions as opposed to taking a hard stand and speaking up can make some people happy in the short-term, but the same people will stop trusting you when they see the results of your advice. Your job as a leader is not to please others or make them like you, it’s to do what’s right. If you want to act in favour of your people and the organisation without the burden of being liked, then learn to stand up, speak and say no to things that do not align with your goals. You will emerge as a much stronger leader that others want to emulate. Likability is not something that you need to build, it’s something that happens to you. Climbing on the bandwagon without questioning where it’s headed, ignoring acceptable standards of behaviour in the team and not questioning the status quo is not an act of leadership. In his book, Start With Why, Simon Sinek talks about trust A great leader understands that earning the trust of an organization doesn’t come from setting out to impress everyone, it comes from setting out to serve those who serve you. It is the invisible trust that gives a leader the following they need to get things done. Trust is not a checklist. Fulfilling all your responsibilities does not create trust. Trust is a feeling, not a rational experience. Trust begins to emerge when we have a sense that another person is driven by things other than their own self-gain 6. Do not accept vulnerability with fear of weakness If you do not accept responsibility for your decisions, blame others for not delivering on your goals and try to cover up your mistakes, you have a fear of weakness. It’s easy to latch onto a role in the drama triangle and act as a victim, but it takes courage to step out of it and assume responsibility. Acknowledging vulnerability is not weakness, it’s a sign of leadership. Having the courage to stand up and accept when you make wrong decisions, when things do not turn out the way you anticipated and when you make mistakes will establish trust and credibility with your people. It will create a safe environment in which employees can voice their opinion, take accountability for their actions and make mistakes but also take responsibility for those mistakes. 7. Hunt for mistakes with fear of credibility If you are on the constant look out for mistakes, point them at the first occurrence and worry that any mistake can potentially cause a project to fail and question your dependability as a leader, you have a fear of credibility. Constantly finding faults and pointing out shortcomings without appreciating people for the goodness of their work can make them resent you for watching over them like a hawk. It will also develop a tendency in your team to make safe choices, hide mistakes and blame others when things go wrong. Even with your best effort to avoid mistakes, some projects will fail. There’s no doubt about that. Pointing out mistakes will only make things worse as it will lower the morale of your team. Credibility is not in successfully delivering a project. It’s in how you develop your team to face the challenges with a not give-up attitude, how they strike back in the event of a failure and tackle the problem head-on. 8. Lead by authority with fear of outcomes If you tell people what to do, if you believe work will not get done unless you keep a close watch and if you jump at the first chance of resolving an issue, you have fear of outcomes. Tendency to sideline others and take over the issue with the notion that you have more experience than others, always telling people what to do without giving them an opportunity to learn from their mistakes will get the work done in the short term. However, without planning and optimising for long term effects, the team will be limited in its output and will only learn to work under constant monitoring. Coach your team, inspire them, but then give them space to figure things out on their own. Autonomy not only boosts self confidence, it can be a great motivator to achieve exceptional results. 9. Stay within comfort zone with fear of change Do you delay decision making or take too long to decide when the decision requires stepping out of your comfort zone to explore new ways of thinking and doing things, do you have a tendency to grab onto familiar ideas and are you reluctant to determine if your work is inline with the future demands? If you live with the problems of the past without questioning the needs of the future, you have a fear of change. Leaders who look beyond the bounds of the organisation challenge their beliefs and assumptions with the desire for a better future without fear of change. They welcome change as a means to learn and grow. Fear of change can make you ignore signs that can lead to the downfall of your organisation while the ability to apply first principles thinking and identify when our old way of doing things is obsolete can enable you to build organisations with long lasting impact. Do you want to develop leadership skills and qualities that make people want to follow you? Then stop leading from fear and inspire others by establishing trust, empathy, courage and empowerment. What kind of a leader do you want to be? This article was first published on https://www.techtello.com/leading-from-fear

What Is Fear-Based Leadership

Every person at some point in their career may need to ask themselves “Do I really want to be a manager?” The question may seem straightforward, but the answer is not. It requires digging deeper and finding answers for ourselves without relying on what others believe is the right thing for us to do. Management may seem like a natural career progression for a great individual contributor, while it may not be the best way to expand our role. Much like our earlier decisions that landed us in a particular field, the choice to be a manager or not requires careful examination of our options. Management isn’t the only way to grow, get a raise or take on additional responsibilities from our current role. Think of management as a maze with a simple entry that requires navigating multiple unknown paths along the way. It’s easy to get lost, feel stuck and lose hope unless we have patience, curiosity and ability to learn from it’s unique challenges. It requires reprogramming our brain to accept responsibility not only for ourselves but also the team and provide the necessary tools and resources to help them succeed. I have seen people take on management roles without much clarity only to realise later that they are terrible as a manager. Some make the shift to individual contributor roles and others continue being miserable. While there’s still time for you to take the leap, ask yourself “Do you really want to be a manager?”. To answer it honestly, reflect on these 5 questions and find answers for yourself. 5 good reasons to become a manager or not to be one So you want to be a manager. If you want to embrace it fully with the right reasons, answer these questions for yourself, spend time reflecting on your thoughts, be true to how you feel and then make a decision. Take time in deeply evaluating each one, there’s no need to hurry through the list. REASON #1: Is letting go not your thing? Do you feel accomplished by building things yourself, derive a sense of purpose by going deep into the problem and finding solutions on your own? If you enjoy being in the flow of things while exploring the solution yourself and prefer spending hours researching the problem space, then the manager role may not be the one for you. In his book, Your Brain At Work, David Rock cites psychologist and scientist Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi -- pronounced “Cheeks-sent-me-high” -- who describes the state of flow as “when we are immersed in an experience and the time seems to stand still”. As a manager, you may still have your highs, but in the form of achievements through others. It requires a mindset shift from the belief that you are the best person to do the job and resist the temptation to do it yourself. A manager builds trust by empowering the team in helping them find a solution on their own as opposed to being the one providing solutions. It requires learning the art of delegation to challenge the team with more forward looking work and motivating them to strive for more. A manager’s job is to constantly ask “What does my team need now. How can I increase their productivity by providing support?” It requires learning the daily challenges of the team, shifting gears from the role of the doer to the role of the provider and investing in team development from norming to performing. In summary, if you cannot you give up the desire to learn by doing and shift to a place of learning through others, you probably don’t want to be a manager. REASON #2: Do you love dealing with humans? Do you like stitching a personal story for each of your team members by learning their personalities, aspirations, challenges, backgrounds and experiences or do you find it exhausting? Understanding that every person is different and learning what makes them tick, what motivates them, what do they need on a day-to-day basis requires taking interest in their life way beyond work. People change and so do their circumstances. A manager who’s dedicated to the actual well-being of their people takes time to deal with these nuances and connect deeply with their people. They engage with people out of genuine curiosity and constantly inquire: How are people in my team feeling? Why are they feeling this way? What are their day-to-day challenges? Do people feel comfortable reaching out to me? What can I do to help them succeed? Being a manager requires building a mentor mentee relationship of accountability and responsibility, of seeking and providing feedback and putting the needs of others above yours. It requires actively listening, learning about their deepest desires and finding ways to connect opportunities to their aspirations. Julie Zhuo conveys a very useful message to managers in her book, The Making of a Manager What you quickly realise as a manager is that the single most effective way to set up a team for success in the long run is to focus on the people In summary, if you like working with people but cannot go beyond mentorship and general advice to being responsible for people’s growth and finding pure joy in seeing others succeed, then being a manager may not be the right role for you. REASON #3: Do you prefer a fairly predictable world? Both manager and individual contributor grapple with finding answers to problems, but a manager has to deal with multiple unknowns that are not directly under their control. Managing production issues, customer complaints, people matters, business expectations, market shifts, technological advancements, planning, delivery schedules and future growth may be overwhelming. Instead of being bogged down by the demands and pressures of this role, a manager must learn to accept its challenges as a way to learn and grow. As a manager, you need to find for yourself that the single most effective way to manage stakeholders is to work with them and not against them. It requires taking interest beyond your circle of competence to understand other functions, learn their unique challenges and approach them with an element of trust. What may look impractical from outside may sound completely reasonable when approached with the desire to actively listen and understand. One of the most interesting aspects of moving from an individual contributor to a manager is the shift in expectation from getting immediate feedback from your actions as an individual contributor to learning to live with the delayed feedback loop that comes with the responsibility of being a manager. In summary, if you like working in a zone that you can control as opposed to dealing with the uncertainty of decisions that come from myriads of issues beyond your control, then you probably do not want to be a manager. REASON #4: Does conflict creep you out? What’s the first thought that comes to your mind when thinking about conflicts at work? Do you avoid it or find difficult conversations as a means to grow in an organisation. A manager has to deal with conflicts in most of their interactions - communicating bad news to their team, sharing important decisions with stakeholders, creating the right balance of business expectations to achieving team stability, saying no to ideas that do not align with long term goals, managing poor performance, rejecting a promotion request...the list is endless. Managing conflict requires open and authentic communication with the desire to resolve conflict effectively. It necessitates taking a stand in doing what’s right as opposed to going with easy decisions and popular opinions even if that means it may upset some people in the short term. It demands asking questions, repeating information again and again, seeking and providing clarity. It’s a tough job in ensuring you are being heard while also actively listening to others viewpoints. In summary, if you have a propensity to keep others happy and avoid conflicts instead of striving for excellence through constructive dissatisfaction, then you probably do not want to be a manager. REASON #5: Are you always running against time? Time is the most precious resource for everyone. There are countless distractions that do not add value to work. People who do not learn to manage their time run against it moving from one activity to another without conscious thought and planning into how it helps them achieve their goals. Time is never enough for such people as they attribute their busyness for the lack of doing truly meaningful work. Citing lack of time for making a team inclusive to the decision making process, ignoring important activities like feedback, future planning and hiring to build the right team cannot be mere excuses for someone in the management role. As a manager, being responsible for people also requires being respectful of their time and that means engaging yourself and your team in doing work that aligns with their goals and helps them succeed in the workplace. Managers need to employ Eisenhower matrix to reduce, schedule, delegate and declutter work for themselves in effect creating better opportunities for their team by entrusting them with more responsibilities. By consciously making an effort to learn from the present and be forward looking in their approach, they can create the right balance of effectiveness and efficiency. In summary, if you feel responsible and accountable for your own time but do not invest in putting practices in place that helps others maximise their potential, then you probably do not want to be a manager. What did you decide - do you want to be a manager? In the end if you do decide to become a manager, embrace the opportunity. It comes with a lot of hard work but the journey itself can be fulfilling as seeing others grow is the most rewarding experience. Celebrate this milestone as it’s only the beginning. If you don’t have all the skills yet, but the right mindset to attend to the demands of this role, that’s a great sign for a potential manager. Make sure to work with your seniors and find opportunities to build these skills in your day-to-day work. Once you take on the role, the feeling of imposter may be natural in the beginning. Be confident and true to yourself and your role by asking the same 5 questions and reflecting on where you stand. I hope you will make the right decision for yourself and others, because management is a responsibility beyond us, a challenge to learn, contribute and build the next generation who’s passionate about their work and intrinsically motivated to find their own success. My journey into management was part intentional and part accidental and I am grateful that I continue to love it. What about you? How did you decide for yourself when you first took on the role? Previously published at https://www.techtello.com/do-you-really-want-to-be-a-manager

Why Do I Want To Become A Manager

Early in my career, I placed a lot of focus on doing more in less time. I thought I was being productive. The reality was I was simply scrambling from one task to the next without clarity on whether my work was effective or how I could do better. I focused on the end goal, the result I wanted to achieve without really caring about the process to get there. Without being deliberate in my choices to do effective work and developing a process to do it efficiently, I achieved some short term goals. But, I struggled to find meaningful patterns that could advance me to achieve long term productivity. With time, patience, and lots of learning along the way, I realised that doing more is actually doing less by focusing on things that matter and having a solid control over the process to achieve desired outcomes. That’s when I discovered what productivity is all about. What does it mean to be productive In a simple form, productivity is developing a consistent and repeatable process that helps us do effective work more efficiently, where effectiveness is doing the right thing - work aligned with our goals and efficiency is doing it right - with fewer resources, time and effort. Productivity demands shifting our focus from obsessing about the outcome to the system, the process to achieve that outcome. Once we can learn to take control of our systems, getting to the right outcome will be a byproduct of using the right systems. Here are the 14 steps to being more productive that I have developed over years with a deep focus on the process. How to master productivity in 14 simple steps To improve productivity and achieve work efficiency, remember to “focus on the process”. This also means spending time on improving areas that are under your control as opposed to worrying about the impact of things beyond your control. These 14 steps while independent build upon each other. Their power comes from small improvements done consistently over a period of time. By applying previous learnings and exploring new and better ways of doing things, their benefits compound over time freeing up more energy to do meaningful work with less effort. It sets the motivation flywheel in action by doing and seeing tiny little progress in work that matters. 1. Build a simple habit of prepping the previous night Spend a few minutes at the end of each day to prioritise what you want to accomplish the next day. It’s also extremely useful to divide work into chunks of different activities and outline a few bullet points on what you want to achieve in each chunk. The simple act of writing things down not only boosts confidence by making us feel in control, it also frees our mind to actually get the work done and avoid reacting to urgent work as opposed to doing important work. While prioritising tasks, pick the ones which will move you in the direction of your goals while avoiding time-wasting activities that do not add value. Applying the Pareto principle, the 80/20 rule which states that 80% of results are achieved from 20% of our work is a good way to achieve optimal prioritisation. It’s also useful to employ the Eisenhower decision matrix for organising tasks in a 4 quadrant view for easy reference and prioritisation. This answers the “What”. We also need to determine the most optimal time during the day for each activity, which brings us to our next step for determining “When”. 2. Use your most energetic hours to do your best work Each work unit demands different physical and mental resources. Learn what kind of tasks need what kind of energy and organise for optimal utilisation by matching energy with physical and mental demands of work. Use your peak productivity period to do some of your most important work. It could be morning, afternoon, evening, or night - whatever works for you. Different people work best at different times of the day. I am an early riser and for me personally a few hours after I wake up is the best time to do deep work. Knowing deep work compounds over time, it’s best utilised in doing work that matters. Now that we know the “What” and the “When”, we have established a clear intent. Achieving work efficiency and productivity requires turning it into action starting with creating optimal working conditions, but why? 3. Create a comfortable workspace suited to your personal needs A lot of people do not realise that a wrong working environment as simple as a cluttered work desk can be a big source of stress and productivity killer. Designing a comfortable workspace is not intuitive and seldom explored because we learn to live with it. I understand that not everyone is privileged to get the best working environment of their choice, but consciously making an effort to improve it, even in small ways can make a dramatic difference in the quality of your work. Do you have comfortable seating, are you using the right headphones, does the temperature suit you, are you hydrated while working, do you sit humped back or straight up, is your desk too cluttered, are you wearing comfortable clothing? Our mind gets easily distracted and annoyed under sub-optimal working conditions thereby impacting productivity and taking away our ability to focus. Take control of your surroundings by making a conscious effort to observe what around you diverts your energy or makes you uncomfortable to do your work. Then find ways to get rid of it. Once you have the right working conditions, how do you achieve the right levels of thinking? 4. You may not need a break, but your brain and body does At times when we are stuck at an impasse, a mental block to move forward, we get overwhelmed and anxious. The state limits our thinking to existing solutions and does not seek new ideas causing us to stop making progress or take too long to finish a task. What do we do when we reach this state? Most of us continue working while feeling frustrated, annoyed and even angry with ourselves for not finding the right answers. Continuing to work when dealing with a mental block is not only less productive, it may lead to bad decisions with severe consequences in the future. We experience new ideas or better ways of doing things when we are not actively thinking about them. Giving space to our brain to form new connections is essential to discover new solutions and get over an impasse. Stand up, go grab a snack, get some fresh air, simply walk around without actively thinking about the problem. Great ideas will flow without making an effort. As a practice, it’s very useful to recover and refuel our mind and body with a small break after every slot of deep work (60 mins, 90 mins) to re-energise and develop better levels of thinking for improved productivity. Developing a better way of thinking is a great way to improve work productivity, but unless we also learn to control our thoughts we may waste a lot of time with automatic mind wandering and distracted thinking that breaks our flow of work. How can we learn to control our own thoughts? 5. Don’t let your thoughts control you David Rock sums this up beautifully in his book Your Brain At Work “I decide to be responsible for my mental state instead of a victim of circumstances. In the instant that I make this decision, I start seeing more information around me, and I can perceive opportunities for feeling happier. This experience is one of finding a choice and making that choice, and it shifts what and how I perceive in that moment” The most important thing is to be aware that we all have the tendency to be carried away in thoughts and while it may seem they are beyond our control, we can learn to manage them with practice. Consciously make an effort to catch yourself in the act and bring the focus back to your work. Our mind will not stop running this constant stream in our heads unless we learn to recognise it and take charge of it. It’s good to feel powerful by learning to say no to our own thoughts. But, what about saying no to others? Isn’t saying yes to everything highly unproductive? 6. Learn to say no to things that don’t add value Being productive demands saying no to work that does not align with your goals and mission. It’s not easy to say no, but it’s the only way to focus on work that really matters. Remember, productivity is not just doing the thing right, it is also about doing the right thing. Once you get over your fear of saying no or desire of being liked, you will stop worrying about how your no may upset some people or how they might react. A carefully crafted no can enable both parties to engage in a more productive discussion and align on the outcomes. There’s something else that can still derail you from your intended course. Emails? 7. Your emails can wait only if you resist the urge to open them Emails can suck productivity if not managed well. Even one tiny peek can distract us from doing important work. The quick look is never really quick as the image of those emails in our mind leaves less room for doing meaningful work. It’s best to not open emails till noon. Schedule a ½ or 1 hr slot before lunch and then another slot in the evening or end of day whatever works best for you. It does require a lot of self-control to do what you had planned the previous night and prevent the false sense of urgency from taking over your day. If something is really urgent, people in the organisation will find a better means to reach out to you. Emails managed. What other distractions can hamper your productivity? 8. Eliminate distractions if you cannot resist the temptation Focused work requires time away from distractions. Checking social media, looking at your notifications, browsing the phone are time-wasting activities that can prevent you from achieving your goals. Being aware of your distractions is the first step to removing them. If you are someone like me, adding a small friction can be a powerful way to block them out. I logout from all my social media accounts while doing important work. The simple barrier to provide login information prevents me from checking them too often. One another strategy that works well for me is to schedule time to do these activities as part of my daily planning. Knowing that I have blocked time makes me more tolerant of the idea of not checking them out during my other planned work. Once we manage to keep all distractions away and actually get down to work, what’s the best way to get started? 9. Develop simple routines to start your activities The anxiety from the unknowns in the task may prevent us from getting started - what if I am not able to complete on time, will I do it well, am I competent, what if others don’t like my work. The constant chatter in our mind even before we have started can prevent us from making any progress. Breaking the barrier to getting started requires motivation. It doesn’t come from waiting for the right time or the right idea to click. Motivation is in small acts that move us in the direction of our goals. Establishing routines can activate patterns in our brain which can overcome the mental block to begin. For my writing, I always begin by outlining key points for a new article or read what I wrote the previous day. This simple act kicks in the motivation to continue and do more. Identify what routines work for you and use them as a hack to get started. Once you actually get down to work, can you shift between multiple tasks and still be productive? 10. Doing many things at once is as good as doing nothing For important activities that require deep thinking, we need to have the mental discipline to focus on that task alone. Doing many things at once convolutes our brain with too much information preventing it from generating useful insights to get the work done. Shuffling constantly between tasks may be a great excuse for leaders and managers to keep busy, but without learning to manage their time, they cannot do work that will advance their organisation and its people. A useful trick that improves productivity is to schedule similar activities one after another. It enables much faster progress as learning and inputs from the previous activity feeds directly into the new tasks without requiring extra mental effort to form new connections. For instance, if I have to write job descriptions and create a pitch for hiring strategy, I prefer to schedule job descriptions right after developing a hiring strategy. The inputs from the hiring strategy can then be directly applied to writing job descriptions. Once we learn to discipline our minds to focus on one task at a time, we also need to discipline our minds to give up the urge to do everything ourselves. 11. Doing more is doing less yourself There are multiple benefits of delegation - achieving scale, building trust, and empowering others. Productivity just happens to be a side effect of making the right choice to delegate. Focus on what you can do best and delegate everything else. Delegation is not easy and can be effective only if you set clear expectations and align on the outcomes. Initially, it may seem like a lot of work and your mind may tempt you to do it yourself, but you can learn to give up the temptation in favour of achieving long term productivity. As you learn to delegate more, you will get ample free time on your hands to do things that matter. It’s also not wise to engage humans in doing work that can be achieved through automation. Technology has enabled some beautiful solutions. Identify what part of your repetitive work can be automated and make the best use of technology to automate them. Setting up your own productivity routine is great, but will it work without cooperation from others? 12. Establish communication guidelines If your work demands communication and collaboration with others, you cannot be productive unless you establish communication guidelines with them. Without the knowledge of what’s the best way to reach out to you or when others may continue to interrupt you during your most productive hours. Define the medium to use for different kinds of issues (email, phone, chat) and broadcast blocks of time when you will be available to answer queries, help co-workers, or whatever else your work demands. Plan the unplanned work by consciously dedicating a few hours in a day to avoid reacting every time someone comes up with an ask. You may have a great memory, but it’s not the best use of your mental resources to try to remember everything. 13. Don’t waste your brainpower in trying to remember things Our brains can’t hold too much information at the same time. Keeping the mental stage free for processing information that needs it is the easiest way to improve productivity. The best way to keep yourself organised and do the right things at the right time is to schedule your responsibilities - send calendar invites, set up reminders. Scheduling also saves energy by removing decision making from the process. Once it’s on your calendar, you don’t need to decide anymore. This is the beginning to unleash your full potential. 14. Good habits sows the seed of productivity Good habits are the key to unlocking your maximum potential. Examine what habits energise you and which ones contribute to your inefficiency. Unless you learn to change your habits, you may get the work done, but it will be far less than what you are capable of. Learn more about yourself - healthy eating, sleeping well, constant learning are some of the most basic needs for a healthy mind and body. Also, doing what you really enjoy even if for a small duration every day can renew your focus and unleash creative outflow. Once you shift your mindset to focus on the process and not the outcome, you will find new and creative ways to be more productive every day. Remember, the 3 Ps - Productivity with focus on the Process and Persistence to improve. This article was first published on https://www.techtello.com/14-steps-to-productivity

14 Small Productivity Principles You Can Start Practicing Today

While making decisions, how often do we optimise for long term gain at the cost of short term pain? A good process for making decisions requires second order thinking which unravels the implications of our decisions by thinking about its consequences in the future. It requires solving problems in a manner that avoids unintentional and unforeseen outcomes. Second order thinking is a necessity , and see things we haven’t thought about by applying divergent information and forming new associations and connections. to think beyond what we know It’s tempting to give in to good outcomes with small upside that are easily accessible and visible to us without weighing in on the potentially large downside of these decisions in the future. Our experiences and beliefs also limit our ability to go beyond the natural and seek hard truths by asking difficult questions, exploring unknown territories, and doubting what may seem like an obvious choice. In organisations, encouraging high performance and good behaviour through monetary rewards may seem like a natural choice in the short term. However, numerous studies have shown that without understanding the dynamics of your work environment, financial rewards may actually backfire or add no value to increase people’s motivation when analysed over a long period of time. When designing policies, organisations need to think beyond “the simple and obvious” to “what’s not visible”. What is second order thinking? We stay inside a safety box that is easily accessible to us and guides us in making a large part of our decisions. It's a blend of our environment and experiences that gives way to our thoughts and beliefs. How we think and what we decide is largely shaped and constrained by this box. Second order thinking as a mental model requires going out of our comfort zone to think outside this box. It requires analysing the potential impact of our decision into the future. It requires asking these questions: How can I make decisions with positive outcomes compounded in the future? Is this decision attractive only because it has an immediate effect (first order consequence) positive? What can be the potential downside of this decision and its effect later? How far can I look to determine how every subsequent decision creates a world of possibilities or limits the outcomes I can achieve? Second order thinking provides by learning the second order consequences of our decisions and analysing its impact in the near future. Going beyond second level thinking is difficult, but some people learn to expand their thinking to the third level and beyond by asking the same questions at each level. a framework to make decisions Ray Dalio describes this very well in his book, Principles: Failing to consider second- and third-order consequences is the cause of a lot of painfully bad decisions, and it is especially deadly when the first inferior option confirms your own biases. Never seize on the first available option, no matter how good it seems, before you’ve asked questions and explored Difference between first order thinking and second order thinking Before we learn how to apply second order thinking to tap into the unknown, let’s understand the difference between first order and second order thinking. It’s important to differentiate between the two to make a conscious effort to shift from first order to second order thinking. First order thinking is within the box thinking First level thinking looks for easy answers driven by our past experiences and beliefs. It puts more weight on the immediate effect of our actions and ignores the subsequent impact. When we seek instant gratification, our first order thinking is at play. It’s activated by system1 thinking which is intuitive and fast (Source: Thinking Fast And Slow by Daniel Kahneman). This form of thinking is really effective when we need to make quick decisions without exerting effort. A good part of our daily decisions falls into this category - what dress to wear to the office, where to meet a friend for dinner, and which turns to take while driving to work. The conventional nature of first order thinking confines us to get the same results as everyone else. In summary, first order thinking is safe, superficial, reactionary, obvious, fast, easy, and conventional with a focus on immediate impact. Second order thinking is outside the box thinking Second level thinking is hard and looks beyond our current assumptions and beliefs. It requires massive effort to dig out the potential impact of our decisions way into the future. Given the complexity and uncertainty of our decisions, it involves system2 thinking which is deliberate and logical. Going beyond intuition and seeking unconventional solutions by applying second order thinking philosophy is what separates great thinkers from the ordinary who outperform others and achieve greater success. In summary, second order thinking is hard, complex, uncertain, and unconventional with a desire to explore potential future consequences and maximise its benefits. How to develop second order thinking: Template to make better decisions To develop second order thinking skills, let’s learn to evaluate the impact of first order effects by creating a template using these steps: Note down the first solution that comes to your mind with its immediate positives and negatives. This is your first order thinking. Then ask “What will be the future consequences of this decision” to evaluate the 2nd, 3rd level...nth level consequence. For each decision and level, write it’s corresponding positives and negatives. Ask questions, more and more questions to yourself to learn from those questions. What are my risks associated with this decision? How does my decision impact others? What do others think about my decision? Why do I think my decision is right? Can I apply occam’s razor to seek simpler solutions? Choose the decision where second and third order consequences are positive even though first may not be positive (short term pain in favor of long term gain). Learn to recognise and apply feedback loops. It may not help with your current decision, but over time it will enable you to make better decisions. Once you adopt a second order thinking mental model and start applying its template in your decision process, you will see the positive results of your efforts compound over time. Howard Marks, a great American investor and writer shares his views on first order and second order thinking, The difference in workload between first-level and second-level thinking is clearly massive, and the number of people capable of the latter is tiny compared to the number capable of the former. First-level thinkers look for simple formulas and easy answers. Second-level thinkers know that success in investing is the antithesis of simple. Examples of second order thinking More often than not, our actions have unanticipated and unintended consequences. Let’s learn how first order thinking limits and second order thinking gives way to better decisions in real life with the help of a few examples. Example 1: Managing crisis at work or avoiding one When dealing with a crisis at work, a manager can adopt either first order or second order thinking. I have done it in the past. I know how to do it way better than anyone else in the team. Let me take over and resolve it for now. My team can learn later. First order thinking: The manager needs to intervene every time there’s an issue since she never facilitated her team to solve problems on their own. She is constantly busy dealing with the crisis and never finds time for team development. The team does not feel empowered and people in the team do not grow which results in low team morale. First order thinking consequence: I have done this in the past. I know how to do it way better than anyone else in the team. But, if I continue solving it, I will never give an opportunity to my team to step up and resolve issues on their own. This is an excellent opportunity for my team to learn how to manage and deal with crisis situations. I will be available to guide them through the process. Second order thinking: In the first few instances, the team may struggle and take slightly longer to resolve. However, they will be better equipped to handle such issues on their own in the future. It will free up the manager’s time to do effective planning that reduces the number of such crisis situations. The team also feels motivated and empowered to do more, better. Second order thinking consequence: In this example, first order thinking has short term benefits with long term negative impact. Second order thinking has a short term pain with multiple benefits in the long run. Which one will you choose as a manager? Example 2: Hiring for now vs the future While making a hiring decision for a position that’s open for a long time, a hiring manager can either apply first order or second order thinking. I really need to fill this role. Many projects will be delayed if I do not get someone to start immediately. This person seems like the best fit for the current role. She has certain gaps that may be challenging for my future needs. But, we can attend to them when the time comes. Let’s hire her. First order thinking: The new hire is able to get the projects started. As these projects increase in complexity, she starts facing challenges in providing direction and guidance to her people. This leads to communication gaps, lack of clarity, and poor collaboration causing multiple project delays. The culture of the organisation also takes a hit as constructive arguments become destructive and employees start blaming other teams and functions for missing their deadlines and not achieving results. First order consequence: I really need to fill this role. Many projects will be delayed if I do not get someone to start immediately. This person seems like the best fit for the current role. But, she has gaps that will be challenging for the future demands of this position. I need to hire someone who can meet my requirements for the future and not just my current needs. While the next few months will be tough, the right thing to do will be to keep looking till we find someone suitable. Second order thinking: Projects get to a slow start. However, within the next few weeks, people in the team step up to take additional responsibilities. Meanwhile, the hiring manager is also able to bring a strong leader with great potential and required qualities inline with the future demands. Second order consequence: The new leader rallies the team through strong clarity, sense of purpose and direction that motivates employees to put their best effort forward. The team is able to make great progress under her direction and achieve substantial results. This is a great example of why applying second order thinking is crucial while making hiring decisions to hire the right talent in an organisation. A deliberate attempt to apply second order thinking while making important decisions can provide a huge advantage to organisations and their people. I hope to inspire you to think differently, make that extra effort to visualise the future and reap its many benefits. Previously published at https://www.techtello.com/second-order-thinking

Practice This Second Order Thinking  Hack to Start Making Better Decisions

We all want to have a good relationship with our managers, work on impactful projects that help us advance our career, want to be highly regarded in our line of work and be trusted and respected by others. But, how often do we take charge of our own growth? The deep seated work hierarchy in our mind thinks of management as top to bottom, manager to their direct report. We believe it’s our managers responsibility to enable trust, build a strong rapport with us, give us work that will help us shine and remove all barriers that can impede our success at work. It may very well be their mission to help us be the best version of ourselves because their success lies in our growth, but do we see and own the other side of this bi-directional relationship? We seldom think about our role in the process, how we can enable our managers, what are their goals and challenges at work, what do they care about, what are their priorities and how we can make them successful. Managing up is nothing but an investment in building a relationship with our manager to work better together. Navigating this dynamic requires taking initiative, caring for the person above, sharing responsibility and owning our own growth with a growth mindset as opposed to a fixed mindset. Why do we avoid managing up? We avoid managing up because of our beliefs, apprehension of what may happen and denial of our role in the process. For easy recollection, think of it as the BAD framework in our mind. We assume managing up is bad, while the opposite is true. B - Belief In my conversations with multiple people, managing up seems to bring up a negative sentiment. People relate managing up with a lack of trust in their manager, a belief that they need to manage up only when their manager is not capable of doing their job. While a bad manager may or may not be a reality for you, managing up is effective for everyone, including managers and people in leadership positions - they have bosses too. Your manager will always need your support to influence them and help them make the right decisions. It cannot happen unless you are proactive in grabbing the right opportunity to be effective in your work. A - Apprehension Our fear is the biggest driver of our action or inaction in certain cases. We do not act with the fear of what our manager might think, how they might react or feel if we try to manage up. If you look through the right lens, managing up is actually highly beneficial for managers as both of you learn to care, challenge each other, become partners in achieving goals and own success together. Managers can’t do it alone. They do not have a separate path to success. Your success is their success. D - Denial We deny our role in our current circumstances, because it’s easier to blame others than to assume responsibility for our own state. We happily sit within our comfort zone afraid to step out, take charge and fix what needs fixing. Not only that leads to mediocre performance, it also shuts us to explore and create a better future for ourselves and others. Blaming your manager for your state is an easy path you can take, but managing up needs courage. It requires taking charge of your own growth. In his book The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey writes about taking responsibility Show me someone who is humble enough to accept and take responsibility for his or her circumstances and courageous enough to take whatever initiative is necessary to creatively work his or her way through or around these challenges, and I’ll show you the supreme power of choice Your manager can do less managing down if you can do more managing up. Let’s learn how. How do you manage up effectively? The thought of managing up could be intimidating - How do you manage your own manager? So, how about rephrasing it as “choosing to communicate effectively upwards”. Notice the word “choice” which makes us feel powerful through autonomy and a sense of control. So, next time thinking of managing up gives you the creeps, simply rephrase it as “choosing to communicate effectively upwards.” Key to managing up is in the decision to act by taking charge of building your relationship with your manager, behaving in ways that builds trust, aligning your priorities with their priorities and doing work that shares their goals and mission. It requires opting out of the drama triangle and taking on the role of the creator instead of acting as the victim. So, while we cannot change others, let’s do our best to influence them by practicing these 7 strategies for managing up effectively. 1. Manage up to build trust Spend time in understanding your manager by learning about the challenges of their job, what motivates them, what keeps them occupied, what they care about and what are their priorities. A simple way to gather this information is to simply ask. You don’t need to approach it as a formal 1-1 or define a meeting agenda to learn this information about your manager. Use informal chats to inquire and gather this data on a regular basis, show curiosity and ask questions. While talking to them, ask some of these questions: Why is this important to you? What are your top priorities? What’s one thing that’s top of your mind? What about this bothers you? I am curious to learn about the challenges of your role. Would you be open to share some? What about your work inspires you? This information will enable you to establish a better line of communication with your manager by doing work that aligns with their goals, share your concerns in a manner that highlights a potential risk to their plan and collaborate together in finding better solutions to problems. Managing up in this manner will build trust by enabling alignment on ideas and a desire to do better through openness to constructive conflicts. 2. Manage up to define success We are so focussed on our individual goals that we fail to recognise what success as a team looks like. Without an understanding of what it means to succeed as a team, you may achieve your individual goals, but still fail as a team. By knowing the success criteria of your team, you can realise and contribute to opportunities beyond your own goals. Once you understand what success looks like, you can be part of that success by Negotiating and setting your own priorities Seeking clarity in your work Questioning the effectiveness of your work Identifying and taking on additional responsibilities Saying no to work that does align with the success of your team Managing up by being part of your team’s success as opposed to focussing on your individual goals can supercharge your growth. 3. Manage up to get the support you need Want more responsibility, more autonomy? Be your own advocate and ask for it. You may also need support to do your job better. Unless your manager is deeply involved in your day-to-day activities and takes time to connect with you outside work, it may not be possible for them to identify what support you need. If you do not take charge of your own effectiveness and efficiency at work, you will be limited in the outcome of your work and the impact it can generate. So, take the lead to identify what support you need by discussing What prevents you from achieving your goals What can you do to overcome these obstacles How can they help Managing up by recognising your own needs and finding best ways to fulfil those needs can make you effective in your job enabling you to do more, better. 4. Manage up to make your work visible Your manager may know your intent, but unless you show them the impact of your work, they may not realise the value you bring to the team. Expecting your manager to pull updates from you can leave you at the mercy of their time and their willingness to show interest in your work. By utilising a push model you can provide them with necessary updates at the right time including both good as well as bad news. By keeping them in the loop on important issues, you not only build trust but also provide them with an opportunity to attend to issues before it’s too late. Isn’t push more efficient than pull for both you and your manager? Managing up by taking an initiative to showcase your work and seeking help on important issues, you can get your manager’s support to do more forward looking work. 5. Manage up to help them see their blindspots Most managers are oblivious of how others perceive them in the workplace and the impact their behaviour and actions have on others. These blind spots can make them take certain decisions or act in ways that are detrimental to the growth of the team. By helping your manager see their blind spots, you can enable them to recognise and make changes in their way of working with others. Be careful though. While conveying the message is crucial, it should not be disrespectful. Your manager will engage in a constructive discussion as long as it doesn’t hurt their ego. Let’s take an example. Instead of saying “you micromanage”, mention “I think I am now ready to have less supervision and guidance on my work. I hope you can trust me to update you when there’s significant progress and reach out for any support I may need. Meeting multiple times during the day distracts me to focus on my work and prevents me from making progress on my tasks. What do you think?” The first message can make them defensive, while the second one allows them to think and reflect on the intent. Managing up by sharing feedback is not only beneficial for the manager, it can be highly useful for the team who benefits from the changes that such feedback can provide. 6. Manage up to align on work preferences Do you need to work from home on a specific day of the week, be home by a certain time in the evening to look after your child or have any other work preferences? If your manager does not ask about your work preferences, which in most cases they won’t, it’s your responsibility to communicate it to them. Without keeping them apprised of your situation and how you plan to manage work, you can cause confusion, mis-alignment of expectations and prevent them from helping you do your work effectively. Openly discuss your work preferences and learn about your manager’s expectations Seek advice as opposed to being demanding Discuss how meetings can be organised for maximum participation How and when you will be available to your team members How do you plan to manage other dependencies Your manager won’t anticipate your needs and cannot help you unless you talk to them about it. They may have work preferences too. So, remember to ask them about it and be flexible to agree on a common solution that works for both of you. Managing up by being transparent about your specific needs can shift your mind to focus on the work as opposed to worrying about its implications. 7. Manage up to communicate effectively Not knowing your manager’s preferred mode of communication for different kinds of issues can be highly ineffective for the team. You may end up sending an email for an urgent issue without knowing that your manager only checks their email twice a day or send them a text update on information that’s best conveyed through an email. By using the preferred mode of communication, you can get their attention on the right things at the right time. Managing up by learning your manager’s preference and aligning on communication guidelines can help you to be highly productive by utilising the right channels to communicate and get the desired attention. Imagine a team in which everyone communicates effectively upwards and makes an effort to take charge of their own growth. You can be the one to bring about this change in your team. Make the choice now. Do employees in your organisation manage up? Previously published at https://www.techtello.com/managing-up/

How To Be Responsible For Your Own Growth

Some of the popular implementations of a Kanban board are the following: Trello JIRA board Microsoft Planner Asana board Requirements The user can create lists and assign tasks on the Kanban board The user can see changes on the Kanban board in near real-time The user can make offline changes on the Kanban board The Kanban board is distributed Data storage Database schema The primary entities are the boards, the lists, and the tasks tables The relationship between the boards and lists tables is 1-to-many The relationship between the lists and tasks tables is 1-to-many An additional table is created to track the versions of the board Type of data store Document store such as MongoDB persists the metadata of the tasks for improved denormalization support (ability to query and index subfields of the document) The transient data (board activity level) is stored on the cache server such as Redis The download queue for board activity is implemented using a message queue such as Apache Kafka High-level design The changes on the Kanban board are synchronized in real-time through a WebSocket connection The offline client synchronizes the delta of changes when connectivity is reacquired Workflow The client-A creates a connection on the load balancer to push changes in real-time WebSocket The load balancer ( ) uses the round-robin algorithm to delegate the client connection to a web socket server with free capacity HAProxy The changes on the Kanban board are persisted on the document store (key = board ID) is used to delegate the WebSocket connection to the relevant publish-subscribe (pub-sub) server Consistent hashing The pub-sub server (Apache Kafka) delegates the WebSocket connection to the subscribed web socket servers The web socket server fetches the changes on the document store The WebSocket connection can make a duplex communication to the other listening clients through the load balancer The client-B receives the changes on the Kanban board The cache server stores the transient metadata such as the activity level of a session or the temporary authentication key The download queue to replay the changes in the sequential order is implemented using a message queue The changes are asynchronously propagated to the followers (replicas) of the document store to achieve eventual consistency The CDN serves the single-page dynamic application to the client to improve latency The single-page application is cached on the browser to improve the latency of the subsequent requests An event-driven architecture might be a good choice for the instant propagation of updates The client invokes the server logic through a thin wrapper over a WebSocket connection The LRU policy is used to evict the cache servers The document store makes it relatively trivial to run different versions of the Kanban board against the same database without major DB schema migrations The document store is replicated using the leader-follower topology The online clients fetch the changes from the leader document store The offline clients fetch the changes from the followers of the document store The offline clients store the time-stamped changeset locally and send the delta of the changeset when the connectivity is reacquired The changeset is replayed in sequential order to prevent data hierarchy failures The client synchronizes only the recently viewed and the starred boards to improve the performance A new TCP WebSocket must be established on the server failure The last-write-win policy is used to resolve conflicts on the board Exponential backoff must be implemented on the synchronization service to improve the fault tolerance References tech.trello.com blog.trello.com Also published . here Featured image . source

How to Design a Kanban Board

Ten years ago, an acronym “VPN” would mean little to a casual internet user. VPNs and cyber security, in general, was something that concerned businesses participated in to secure their valuables. For years a VPN was just a secure gateway to a remote database that is available only for a selected number of employees or interested parties. Currently, VPNs are enjoying a tremendous level of attention and rapidly growing user bases, and by the year 2022 are said to reach the market value of . dollars. Furthermore, the list of service providers grows more abundant as most cyber security companies, such as Kaspersky and Avast, are adding VPN services to their variety of products. Even Opera web browser launched an in-built VPN service. almost 36 billion U.S There are several reasons that I will outline shortly for the current popularity of Virtual Private Networks. First and foremost, netizens are becoming aware of the possible dangers online, and are taking online security into their own hands. Second, the emergence of geographical restrictions, when particular content is only available in some locations and forbidden in others, kickstarted the business into what it is now — an extremely competitive and growing market. In this article, I will elaborate on why this technology became so prevalent for commercial use. But before that, let’s briefly overview what VPNs are. What is a VPN? VPN stands for Virtual Private Network. In layman’s terms, a VPN establishes a secure and private connection to the internet. Be it a web page, some information on a server, another computer in a torrenting session, — VPN secures this connection by encrypting the “tunnel” through which information flows. img: How-VPN-Works.png https://learn.g2.com/free-vpn Primarily, VPNs were developed for business purposes. The very first VPN dates back to 1996 when a Microsoft employee started developing the Peer to Peer Tunneling Protocol (PPTP). The goal was to create a secure way for employees to connect to their companies intranet. However, over the years, the internet has changed so much, that VPN developers reacted, and two major VPN providers, NordVPN and ExpressVPN, were launched for commercial use in 2012 and 2009 respectively. Why are VPNs gaining in popularity? I’ve been using VPNs for nearly two decades and remember the times when it was an unimpressive and barely comfortable way to connect to specific databases. There’s little in common (apart from the technical side) between business and commercial VPNs. The latter is designed for a casual internet user, with a native App in Windows, Android, iOS, macOS, and so on. Their UX/UI is polished to the core, and everything, from switching a server, to changing the protocol, is, preferably, one click away. Ease-of-use definitely had something to do with increased popularity. But a major breaking point was caused by geographical restrictions. It’s not a new phenomenon, and geo-blocks existed before the third millennium, but not to the scale it is used now. The tremendous success of streaming services like Netflix, HBO, BBC, YouTube, among others, brought geo-blocks straight to the face of a customer. img: video-not-available-youtube-error.png https://techzillo.com/this-video-is-not-available-in-your-country/ The logic behind the idea is pretty simple: regions buy licenses for some content, and if they don’t, then that content is not available at target location due to copyright laws. However, when you have paid good money to a streaming service provider, and you get “this video is not available in your country”, then consumers get angry. For some time, the problem of limited access to content was solved by torrents. But torrent service providers are still persecuted, the download takes time, and there are no guarantees you’re not downloading a file filled with malware. That’s where VPN comes in. Not only it secures (not the malware part, sadly) your p2p session, hiding all your activity from any peeping-ISP, this software excels at bypassing geographical restrictions. To put it short, geo-blocks deny access to specific I.P. addresses. If you’re browsing from Germany, then your ISP has issued you an I.P. address, that points to a location in Germany. And if you want to access some BBC content, BBC checks if your I.P. points to a location in the U.K., since it doesn’t, you get locked out. As mentioned before, VPNs redirect your traffic through their servers, so if you choose a server in the U.K., then you’ll be assigned an appropriate I.P. address, and unlock geo-blocked content. This procedure is so simple and effective that most streaming providers still can’t figure out a way to deal with VPN industry. Last, but not least, are the security features that VPNs provide. Privacy has become a catchword in the tech community. This year, both and elaborated on the importance of privacy in their speeches. However, there is not a single software so dedicated to privacy protection as VPNs are (VPNs that log users activities are a different question for another topic). The ability to mask your I.P. address and encrypt all traffic both helps with geo-blocks and contributes to one’s online privacy. Mark Zuckerberg Sundar Pichai img: 1*Oo-lpN1z3p4SXxI5MNKiIw.jpeg https://medium.com/@mwhites9/complete-guide-to-the-advantages-and-disadvantages-of-vpns-f58f354cb6e5 The most important part of a high-quality VPN is the encryption that it uses. Both above-mentioned VPNs use , the encryption standard that is used globally by governments and cyber security software developers. Without encryption, all of your browsing information is available to third party spectators: ISPs can take a look at what you’re doing, so can Google, and cyber criminals. Encryption buffs up online anonymity and protects against various surveillance agencies, as well as . AES (Advanced Encryption Standard) with 256-bit keys Man in The Middle attacks What’s next for the VPN industry? As mentioned earlier, the VPN market is predicted to keep growing. New features are implemented yearly, that range from adBlock services to password managers. However, choosing the right VPN is crucial for privacy protection. Some VPNs have been caught logging users activities online, while others went through independent audits to or . One way or another, intense competition forces products to evolve and listen to consumers requests, and VPNs are off with a good start. prove their no-logs claim test their software security features <a href="https://medium.com/media/3c851dac986ab6dbb2d1aaa91205a8eb/href">https://medium.com/media/3c851dac986ab6dbb2d1aaa91205a8eb/href</a>

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