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Humi

In the dynamic realm of software development, finding the right balance between humility and confidence is paramount. The interplay of egoism, humility, and confidence can profoundly impact teamwork, project outcomes, and overall success. In this article, we explore the significance of managing egoism to foster a collaborative, innovative, and positive software development environment. Humility The analysis of the influence that programming languages have on the thinking habits of their users and the recognition that, by now, gives us a new collection of yardsticks for comparing the relative merits of various programming languages. brainpower is by far our scarcest resource , and among other things, he avoids clever tricks like the plague. The competent programmer is fully aware of the strictly limited size of his skull; therefore, he approaches the task in full humility programming We must not treat our brains as the perfect computing machines. We must be open to the possibility at all times that we have made a mistake. We are not reinforcing impostor syndrome or advocating for intellectual gatekeeping here 😁. You can be an excellent developer, but you still need to be mindful of your limitations. In fact, healthy humility can help you go from being a good programmer to a great one. The best way to learn to live with our limitations is to know them. By the time that we are sufficiently modest to try factored solutions only, because the other efforts escape our intellectual grip, we shall do our utmost best to avoid all those interfaces impairing our ability to factor the system in a helpful way. — Edsger W. Dijkstra The best advice to apply humility in your developer career is to write simple code. Egoism (or The fine line between confidence and arrogance) The ego can be defined as the part of us that drives us to continually compare ourselves with others. It causes us to compete with our co-workers and to seek to have more than our neighbors. Our ego is the driving force of our personality. Are You Ego Driven? According to , author of , there are six signs that indicate you may be ego-driven: Srinivas Rao How to Manage Your Ego So You Can Reach Your Full Potential Concern about the approval of others Fear of asking for help Comparing and competing The constant need for more Lack of presence (focusing on the past or the future but never on the present time) The need to always be right These descriptions may not be true for every project manager, but there is a strong need for work performed and results achieved by project managers to be approved, especially by key stakeholders. Many are also conditioned to avoid asking for help because it may mistakenly indicate a lack of ability. Competition with other project managers for highly visible and challenging projects, comparing results with other projects, the need for higher quality at lower costs, reviewing lessons learned and then preparing for the risks yet to come, and a desire to be seen as in control at all times are all parts of the project manager’s daily life. It would appear that we are, for the most part, ego-driven. project managers Ego & Leadership We can not talk about Egoism without leadership, as . its effectiveness will be shown or tested the most when you become a leader There has been much research on this topic, and the effects are well documented. It could be argued that some organizations have seen significant failure as a result of employing leaders with large egos. suggests that the most successful leaders are ‘Level 5’ leaders. These leaders are paradoxical in that they have extreme personal humility and yet have a steely, intense professional will. They have an unwavering resolve based on understanding the truth about their organization; they are . Jim Collins rigorous, not ruthless; they inspire through standards, are ambitious for the organization, not for themselves, and they build momentum over time They are modest, never boastful, calm, avoid the limelight, and accept blame but attribute success to others. They set up success for their successors. In contrast, leaders with over-inflated egos tend to believe that success naturally follows them; they love fads, often re-structure and . make redundancies, are ambitious for themselves, and seek a quick fix They gain validation and self-esteem through being seen as a great leader, inspire through charisma, blame others for mistakes, take credit for success, and set up their successors to fail. Having leaders with large egos is also seen as a sign of future ethical collapse, as identified by . Marianne Jennings She suggests that have many conflicts of interest, innovate to the extreme, and use ‘good works’ to cover up and atone for wrongdoing. The ethical collapse follows and is closely followed by organizational failure. these leaders apply high levels of pressure to meet the numbers, instigate a culture of fear and silence, promote young, inexperienced people in order to manipulate them, promote weak governance, Ego & Teams The significant question for any team is: “Can each individual put aside their ego for the sake of the team ?” People with large egos rarely can. Teamwork flies in the face of autocratic leadership and shouts loud of collaboration, unity, and being a place where everyone has a voice and is heard. If you wish to be a great organization, Look for level 5 leaders. They are often already working for your organization; they know the organization well but are often overlooked. Go seek them out and employ people like that in your teams. Leaders often do not see the true value of their charges, especially “lower-level” workers. But when leaders are humble, show respect, and ask how they can serve employees as they improve the organization, the outcomes can be outstanding. Is your Ego taking control? You know your ego is not in control when: You see others, especially other project managers, as rivals and attempt to find ways to show your superior abilities You become competitive over the smallest issue or detail You take on additional assignments just to show you can handle more work than others You deliberately find fault in another person’s ideas You must establish and maintain control of all meetings You insist on approving almost all communication generated during the project life cycle Do any of these seem familiar? Are you displaying any of these behaviors, even just slightly? Your ego may be beginning to create challenges before you actually see evidence of a problem. Who said Ego is bad? Now that we have seen some of the more negative characteristics of ego, what are the positives? Egos drive us to go to school, learn new skills, and find ways to help others. Our egos are involved in our need to receive acknowledgment and to seek promotions and more challenging work. Most of the world’s successful leaders have used their egos to achieve their personal goals. It becomes a matter of balance and self-awareness. Conclusion Every developer needs to be mindful of both the complexities of software development and the limitations of his abilities. Being humble most of the time is a good thing, but having too much of it could make you ignorant of your true value. Sometimes, ego is not the enemy, or let me say, do not let him become your enemy. Use both humility and ego to find the balance. Sources: The Importance of Humility in Software Development The Humble Programmer by Edsger W. Dijkstra https://www.fusionbusiness.org.uk/team-dynamics-and-ego-how-to-manage-both/ https://www.pmi.org/learning/library/leadership-techniques-ego-driven-project-environment-6256 Jim Collins (2001) “From Good to Great” Marianne Jennings (2006) “The 7 signs of ethical collapse” Patrick Lencioni (20020 “The five dysfunctions of teams.” Also published . here

Put Your Ego Aside: Humility and Confidence in Software Development

Welcome to Hacker Noon Interview Series! See all other Interviews . Good-Company here HackerNoon Reporter: Please tell us briefly about your  background. Michael Gaizutis is the Founder of – Experience Design Agency for Tech & Web3 Brands of the Future. Michael began his early life ideating, creating and building things that mattered: things that were radically different by design. When everyone went the same way, Michael went the other way. RNO1 This ethos drove him to collaborate with some of the best and brightest minds, teams, and talent, all around the world. From working in the Agency Space for well–known Branding & Digital Agencies on the West Coast – to – building and shaping an Early Stage Consumer Tech Startup with a Team of 12, Michael’s ambition to challenge the conventional has always been front and center. Now, Michael spends his days as the Founder and Visionary of igniting growth for Tech & Web3 companies, leveraging the power and purpose of Experience Design. RNO1 RNO1’s process called Fluid Movements™ ultimately works to position Tech & Web3 companies as market leaders (or what he calls “Wavemakers”). As the traditional agency model is broken, RNO1’s unique Agency–Subscription Models are custom built for Tech & Web3 brands to scale well into the future (unlike any other existing agency in the space). What's your company called? And in a sentence or two, what does it do? We’re – Experience Design Agency for Tech & Web3 Brands of the Future. RNO1 What is the origin story? We began as a brand and digital consultancy called “Ruleno.1” which meant to “livethebrand”. As we scaled up our team and talent, and organically grew into an Agency, we changed our name to an acronym of “Ruleno.1” which became RNO1. What do you love about your team? Our team of Strategists, Designers, Developers, Marketers, and Media Gurus are … insanely creative, innovative, cutting-edge and different (by design). They’re relentless in their abilities to consistently push boundaries of what’s possible (whether a Rebranding, UX/UI Design effort, or Web3/Meta Strategy of tomorrow) and challenge the status quo. If you weren’t working at your company, what would you be doing? I’d be a total beach bum, 24/7 ;)... At the moment, how do you measure success? What are your core metrics? On the Client Partner side, we measure success by their continued growth in the market: the ebbs and flows of customer/user acquisition, brand investment/valuation, brand momentum and equity. On our agency side (RNO1), we look at growth metrics like customer value/retention (at scale), social followers/community building, and press that supports our radical differentiation in the tech and web3 space. What’s most exciting about your company traction to date? We’ve been able to radically shift and scale our business model, now as an Experience Design Agency exclusively working with Tech & Web3 Brands. We started around 12 years ago, and for the first 8-9 years existed like most agencies do: taking on projects and retainers to “feed the funnel”. We’ve quickly grown into the “Web3 Experience Design Agency” of today/tomorrow, with an evolution into a Tech Media Company: between our Discord Community ( ), Live Demo Day Events (Retrn Demo Day), and Web3 Podcast (Launching August 2022). https://discord.com/invite/xV9fTpKy7Q Success for us is about movement vs. metrics. We like to see growth, even if it’s incremental, with a long-tail vision in our line of sight. Our own vision is to be one-part agency (Experience Design Agency), one-part Tech Media Company for Web3 (Live Events/Podcast), and one-part Web3 Accelerator/Fund. We’re riding all the right waves in Web3 ;). What technologies are you currently most excited about, and most worried about? And why? VR/AR, Metaverse(s), Blended Reality Platforms excited me - and Robots worry me ;). Well, Terminator 1, 2, 3, etc. frankly (haha). What drew you to get published on HackerNoon? What do you like most about our platform? Love the mix of stories/knowledge that come out of Hackernoon… from Tech to Web3 and all things in between. Stellar destination to learn, grow, and scale whatever it is you’re working on now (or in the future). What advice would you give to the 21-year-old version of yourself? Never give up. You can’t fail (if you never give up). What is something surprising you've learned this year that your contemporaries would benefit from knowing? I’ve learned that when you’re humble and have humility - you rise to the top.

"When You’re Humble and Have Humility - You Rise to the Top"

How do I balance myself on the confidence humility see-saw? What if my confidence is seen as arrogance or humility as a sign of my lack of assertiveness. How do I come across right? These thoughts just aren’t mine. Many females including those who are highly successful, and probably most men too struggle with this fine balance. We want to be like Goldilocks from the fairy tale Goldilocks And the Three Bears. Neither too much confidence and humility. Nor too less. Just the right amount. Confidence and humility are often misunderstood, though. What words come to mind when you think about confidence - power, authority, boldness, worthiness, self-assurance? How about humility - submissive, unassertive, passive, insecure? Humility doesn’t translate into incompetence or lack of self-confidence. As C.S. Lewis puts it, It’s not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less. It means staying grounded, admitting that you don’t know everything, and accepting that you still have a lot to learn. The right kind of confidence isn’t a central point between fear on one end and arrogance on the other. The sweet spot of confidence is tempered with humility. It requires developing confidence in your abilities while showing humility to doubt your knowledge and your methods. Confidence, how much you believe in yourself, is important. But, humility to know where you fall short and seek help is just as important. What can breed arrogance through unshakeable confidence is avoided by humility. That is exactly what every leader needs - confident humility. Adam Grant describes it in Think Again as “having faith in our capability while appreciating that we may not have the right solution or even be addressing the right problem. That gives us enough doubt to reexamine our old knowledge and enough confidence to pursue new insights.” Confident humility is the confidence in a leader’s ability to make the right decision while acknowledging that they need others to do it right. It’s knowing what they don’t know and having trust in what they do. It’s having faith in their strengths while also being aware of their weaknesses. It’s accepting that they don’t have the required knowledge but enough confidence in their ability to acquire that knowledge. A leader with confident humility isn’t devoid of blind spots. Rather they put measures in place to counter those blind spots. Leaders who demonstrate confident humility stand out Whitney Wolfe Herd is the world’s youngest self-made female billionaire and the perfect exemplar of confident humility. As co-founder and vice president of marketing at Tinder, she was already part of a great business success story. But that didn’t end quite so well for her. After resigning from Tinder in 2014, she founded Bumble, a dating app. It was her confidence that guided her to compete against Tinder and her humility that allowed her to question the needs of the dating space. Her experience from Tinder was useful. But, what really played out in her success story was her ability to question that knowledge. She defied previous dating norms and decided to let women make the first move in the app. Even though 90% of dating startups fail, she carved out a lucrative space by focusing on the needs of one segment: women. “ ” she said. Let’s change thousands of years of behavior. Globally, Robert Iger, the former CEO of Disney, is another ideal example of confident humility. In The Ride of a Lifetime, he writes about how he felt when he first accepted the role to be the president of ABC entertainment. It was the first time in the history of the company that the person running ABC Entertainment wasn’t from the entertainment world. It wasn’t quite leaping without a parachute, but it felt a lot like free fall at first. I told myself: You have a job. They’re expecting you to turn this business around. Your inexperience can’t be an excuse for failure - Robert Iger He describes how confident humility looked like for someone like him who didn’t know much about the business at the time. He writes, "So what do you do in a situation like that? The first rule is not to fake anything. You have to be humble, and you can’t pretend to be someone you’re not or to know something you don’t. You’re also in a position of leadership, though, so you can’t let humility prevent you from leading.” He adds, “It’s a fine line, and something I preach today. You have to ask the questions you need to ask, admit without apology what you don’t understand, and do the work to learn what you need to learn as quickly as you can. There’s nothing less confidence-inspiring than a person faking a knowledge they don’t possess. True authority and true leadership come from knowing who you are and not pretending to be anything else.” Katharine Graham, who saved The Washington Post and transformed it into one of the leading newspapers in the United States, is another example “She was gutsy, so many said, yet never trumpeted the fact. Her wealth and influence were great but wielded with grace. She changed the course of the nation, her city, and journalism, and in so doing, knocked down walls for women. Few lives blend so many traits so seamlessly.” Lou Gerstner, who turned IBM’s fortune around by revitalizing the company and saving it from near bankruptcy in the mid 1990s is another paragon of confident humility. They and hundreds of other leaders demonstrate that the biggest thing a confident leader can do is to show humility - stand back and make room for other people’s thoughts and ideas. Why confident humility is rare Illustrated by Jessica Hagy Most leaders either err on the side of overconfidence without competence or extremely competent without the confidence needed to put their ideas into action. The first category - confidence over competence starts with an overconfidence cycle where leaders become ignorant of their own ignorance. A false sense of mastery promotes a strong conviction in their ideas and knowledge. They fail to notice gaps in what they know and refuse to identify what they don’t know. They are so eager to speak that they don’t stop to observe and listen. They are so blinded by their strengths that they fail to see their weaknesses. They are so consumed in trying to be right that they fail to do the right thing. Driven by the desire to seem more competent, they become blind to their own incompetence - with just enough information but not enough expertise. Never stopping, never listening, never asking. There’s no place for humility to step in. Certainty is the biggest monster. Confidence in their knowledge gives them permission to pass judgment and dismiss information that does not match their beliefs as they feel absolutely certain about their decision. Why would they question their opinion or seek information that contradicts their viewpoint when they are certain of what they know. How can they ever identify the gaps in their knowledge unless they believe it can be flawed? A sense of superiority and pride in their knowledge makes them less and less interested in learning and updating their beliefs. further clouds their vision of their abilities - The less competent they are, the more they overestimate their abilities. The more they lack competence, the more they are likely to be brimming with overconfidence - sort of a catch 22. Without the skills to spot their own mistakes, they can’t see where they are going wrong and therefore assume they are doing great. Dunning-Kruger effect Tim Urban, writer of Wait But Why blog, describes arrogance as “ignorance plus conviction.” This is exactly what these leaders demonstrate “an especially deadly combo because it prevents them from improving. It not only leaves them without real knowledge, it deprives them of the humility needed to gain real knowledge or grow into a better thinker. When they think they are already doing great, they feel like there’s no room left for improvement. While humility is a permeable filter that absorbs life experience and converts it into knowledge and wisdom, arrogance is a rubber shield that life experience simply bounces off of.” The second category - competence without confidence starts with a crippling sense of doubt where leaders wrestle with insecurity and constantly question their abilities. They feel like imposters - I don’t know what I am doing! I don’t deserve this position! I am not qualified to make this decision! Others will find out that I don’t have what it takes! Feeling like an imposter gives them the humility to doubt their methods, question their knowledge, work harder on improving their skills, validate their assumptions, and seek insights from others. In their case, success breeds confidence. Once they achieve challenging goals, they start feeling confident. They may still engage in self-doubt. But, those doubts don’t make them weak, crush their motivation or hold them back from moving forward. Rather, what once signaled their lack of ability to succeed now serves as a cue to push ahead with greater conviction. Engaging with the feeling of being an imposter in a healthy way turns their self-doubt into a medium for growth. Instead of ruminating and feeling helpless by these thoughts, they fuse them with optimistic adventures. Instead of waiting for the confidence to achieve their goals, they build their confidence by putting themselves out there. By facing their fears. Doing the work. Learning from their mistakes and trying just one more time. Stop. Listen. Act. Repeat. What kind of a leader do you think thrives? One who maintains their humility to doubt their knowledge while being confident in their ability to improve or the one who’s so confident in their abilities that there’s room for improvement. What does it look like to exhibit confident humility as a leader In a simpler world, perhaps unilateral power held by a single, smart, capable leader could rule the day. In a complex world, it takes a collective sharing of power, creativity, and perspectives to become agile and nuanced enough to lead into the uncertain future - Jennifer Garvey Berger, in Simple Habits for Complex Times. In other words, today’s world demands a leader who exhibits confident humility. A leader with confident humility: Accepts what they don’t know; don’t fake knowledge they don’t possess. Works hard to fill their knowledge gaps. Doubts their strategies and asks others for input. Reframes their view from “me” to “we”. Listens with curiosity while also being confident to speak their mind. Don’t shy away from making difficult decisions once they have the information. Leads with an abundance mentality. That means sharing credit where it is due. Accepts mistakes and takes complete responsibility. Demonstrates openness to learning from the opposing view during disagreements. Seeks feedback to improve. Operates with a growth mindset. Quick to change their minds as they do not let their beliefs become part of their identity. Embraces vulnerability while being careful does not turn into recklessness. Makes space for others to express their ideas before stating their own. Holds people accountable and does not shy away from difficult conversations. Manages conflict by putting things in perspective and focussing on what can be controlled. Confident in their ability to prevent bad outcomes Is an efficient decision-maker who doesn’t tolerate indecision in others. Believes that they can succeed and hence see opportunities where others see threats. Builds confidence in others by taking action, especially when the action involves risk and failure. Summary Confidence and humility sound paradoxical. Humility is not a lack of self-confidence. It’s admitting that you don’t know everything. Leaders with confident humility exude confidence in their abilities while admitting that they don’t have all the answers. They create space for others to speak up and provide solutions. They have a rare superpower that makes them stand out. Much like anything in the world, building confident humility requires a healthy dose of self-awareness. Ending with this thought from Adam Grant, which summarizes the importance of confident humility in leaders: Great thinkers don’t harbor doubts because they’re impostors. They maintain doubts because they know we’re all partially blind, and they’re committed to improving their sight. They don’t boast about how much they know; they marvel at how little they understand. They’re aware that each answer raises new questions, and the quest for knowledge is never finished. A mark of lifelong learners recognizes that they can learn something from everyone they meet. Arrogance leaves us blind to our weaknesses. Humility is a reflective lens: it helps us see them clearly. Confident humility is a corrective lens: it enables us to overcome those weaknesses. Previously published . here

How to Cultivate Confident Humility for Better Leadership

Following is the never-before published introduction for The Humility Imperative , releasing June 30th, 2020. In 1066, William the Conqueror became the king of England. He kicked off his reign by confiscating land from Saxon lords and allocating it to members of his own family—he also tossed a few acres to the Norman lords who helped him overthrow the country. This was pretty much a major bummer for those who already lived on the land. They were deemed common people. Peasants. The designation bore more pain than unfortunate classification: they were required to provide services to the king, and for that, they received protection and were able to continue living in their feeble huts. Of course, King Willy wasn’t all bad. He threw lord-like bashes for those in the upper class. And, after choosing the best cuts of meat for his festivities, he passed on the scraps to the peasants. (Hey, c’mon, it would be hard for them to provide services if they starved, right?) These leftover meats, they had a name. They were called . umbles And that’s where the word humble originated. Over the course of time, humble became associated with anything deferential.  Indeed, humble pie is now what you eat when you exist in a lowly station. Humility, thus, is what you have when you are humble—providing some logic to why humility is defined as having a modest view of your own importance. Fast-forward a few centuries and here I sit contemplating the very nature of humility. Frankly, it confuses me. I’ve run seven startup companies. One was acquired for $60 million and another for $150 million. One of my companies was the cover story of a article. New York Times Magazine For years, I served on the global executive team of a $1 billion revenue company with 2,500 employees. I’m a (slightly reformed) venture capitalist and have personally invested in north of fifty startup companies on my own. Early in my career I was unequipped to balance my abilities with the perception of myself. I can imagine a few folks considered me a narcissist. Arrogant. An egomaniac. A complete and utter asshole. But over time, the sharp edges have dulled. I’ve received executive coaching and I’ve been part of team exercises that border on therapy sessions. With a bit of success, I no longer have to race to prove results; I’ve become more comfortable in the marathon versus the sprint. But in order to build a company, one has to inspire a team. In order to woo investors and manage boards of directors, one has to make strong decisions. In order to invest capital in someone else’s startup, one has to have conviction. In all cases, one has to have confidence. Which begs the question: can one be confident and have humility at the same time? The Humility Imperative—the concept—is the assignment of that question. In order to explore that, one needs to understand that humility may be intended in one’s heart, but only becomes genuine if it is reflected through the thoughts of others. The lessons are a reminder that every interaction—both professional and personal—is the lens by which your own intents become clear. Humility is an imperative. It lives in the eye of the beholder. —the book—delivers authentic, raw evidence that building anything requires constant attentiveness to interpersonal dynamics. The Humility Imperative Central to that are the professional relationships that fuel any business growth: teams, investors, managers, peers, and clients, as well as current, potential, and even ex-employees. Many chapters of focus there. the book Yet those relationships pale compared to the significance of the personal relationships required for the leadership journey — the individuals who provide unseen support, criticism, and love. “The significant other.” “The spouse.” Nay, the passenger who is along for the ride, whether they like it or not. While often overlooked in the broader narrative of stories of success and failure, the impact of these relationships can’t be simplified, obfuscated, or overstated. Building any company is like guiding a rowboat in the middle of the ocean: massive swells and troughs require one to hold on tightly while bounding between sheer terror and supreme elation. You may find the chapters of this book follow that rhythm. Be prepared to climb aboard. The rises and falls may be unintended consequences of the journey, but the silver lining is that they force behaviors to ensure execution through strength of leadership. Those behaviors often require confidence. And always require humility. BONUS:  4 chapters in originally appeared in Hacker Noon.  You can read them below: The Humility Imperative All VCs are Dicks The 20 slides that Raised $7M Two Tales of Transmoral Leadership Notes on Nutting Up

How William the Conquerer Invented Humility

Entrepreneur’s Perspective is often admired as a virtue. However most often what we see is “false humility” and not humility. I will argue here that humility is an attribute best not pursued or even admired. Instead the quest is to identify some other attributes that lead to treating others as a humble person would. With the additional benefit that these other attributes are more sustainable, achievable, and have a number of other benefits. I will propose two such attributes that when pursued produce humility-like effects as a by product. Very similar to how an entrepreneur creates wealth as a by product of creating value — not by pursuing wealth itself. Humility Why is humility not a sustainable virtue? As soon as a humble person becomes aware of their humility, it is VERY hard for them to continue to be truly humble. Their awareness messes with their behavior and very soon the best they can do is to pretend to be humble. Humility if consciously pursued leads to artificial, pretentious and borderline schizophrenic behavior. Being humble is just too hard if done consciously — its like not getting angry or not feeling smug or not feeling proud. The harder one tries, the worse it gets. There are a few rare examples of self-unaware individuals — just as there are a few yogis. For the vast majority of us, its bad news. Further, in an attempt to be humble, we often hurt others around us. For example, if a person does not share their knowledge in order to appear humble, they do everyone a disservice. Or in an attempt to appear humble one actually insults the intelligence of ones company. While a truly humble person may not inflict this damage, most “attempts at humility” do incur this collateral cost. Consider two alternative attributes that I believe are more “basic.” Also they can consciously be practiced and become stronger by being aware of them — they are not self-destructive. And they produce humility-like-behavior as a by product. What more can one ask :) intellectual honesty empathy By intellectually honesty I mean the ability to acknowledge facts. Our ability to acknowledge facts gets colored by past experience, hope, emotion, the source etc. Yet it is something that we can work upon and keep getting better. While it requires constant awareness and practice, that awareness helps increase our level of intellectual honesty. By empathy I mean the ability to appreciate other points of view. This requires us to listen better and to understand what others are saying. Empathy and intellectual honesty reinforce each other. Both these attributes have a lot of positive effects (for e.g. intellectual honesty can lead to better money ). However, for now I am addressing how they produce humility-like effects without some of the challenges of humility. management Empathy requires one to understand and respect others. That is a big part of humility — not taking oneself too seriously and running others down. In addition if one is intellectually honest, its hard to ignore other legitimate points of view. It is still possible to annoy another person by contradicting them — and be perceived as not-humble. However if one is empathetic, the contrary opinion will be conveyed in an acceptable manner. May you enjoy the virtues of humility without being humble.

The Futility of Humility

I turned 45 yesterday. I’ve always said that I would live until I am 90, so hopefully this is the halfway point. I’ve had a fortunate half-life. I have a great, supportive, loving family and hundreds of kind friends around the world. I’ve already had quite an incredible professional career that I feel lucky and thankful for. In my 20’s I hustled my way to an intense position in the Clinton White House and I experienced and grew so much at an early age. In my 30’s and 40’s I had some success in business, and also some high-profile setbacks. I’m the type of person who bounces right back after taking a punch, and I’m still at it. It’s been a thrilling, rewarding journey. As I get older I try to become a better person, a better friend, a better colleague, a better mentor, a better pupil. It’s a continuous process, a perpetual beta. I take more risks than most people, which means more mistakes, and there’s always room for improvement. 20 years ago the one word others would most use to describe me was: indefatigable. 15 years ago: ambitious. 10 years ago: intense. 8 years ago: confident. 5 years ago: fast. At 45, I’m still all of those things, but I’ve also embraced a new in my toolkit. tool Last week, a venture capitalist made a point of telling me at the conclusion of our meeting: “you’re a lot more ‘humble’ than I expected.” Today: Humble — a very different word than the ones above. That’s on purpose. I’ve been working on that. I have come to learn and appreciate that is one of the most valuable traits for any person, and especially for a leader. I’ve come to appreciate that it’s normal to have flaws, that we’re all growth projects, and that you gain more energy through supporting others than you can ever force all on your own. I’ve come to understand that you can take more and better risks when you embrace what you don’t know vs. when you convince yourself that you know everything from the start. You’re never too old or too wise to ask for advice. You’re never too old to learn — and you learn more from listening than by talking. You deserve most of the blame for your setbacks and failures, and only some of the credit for your successes. humility My overarching philosophy on life has changed a lot the past couple of years. I used to always be going places, always looking around the next corner. Now, I live in the moment and focus on the here and now. I used to scowl a lot. Now, I’m all smiles. I used to demand. Now, I try to coach, and I let myself be coached. I used to have a short temper and little tolerance for avoidable mistakes. Now, I let a lot go, knowing that most everything is fixable, and if not, it becomes a teaching moment on our collective journey. While I’ve always been in a hurry, I’ve become more patient. I used to believe that being fast and achieving results was an excuse for not being nice, and that we’d make-nice during the post mortem. Now, I live for the journey. I’d like to think I’ve calmed and gained perspective. From 1998 to 2014 I moved cities 10 times and lived in more than 15 homes. Today I can’t imagine moving anywhere; Chris and I have found home in Berlin and I attribute a lot of my happiness there to it being the least pretentious and the most just-be-yourself place in the world. Above all, at age 45, I can say with confidence that I know myself today more than ever. I’m comfortable and self-aware with myself and who I am, what I’m good at and where I have flaws. The addition of humility makes me feel stronger and more capable than ever. Why am I sharing all this? Partly because most people don’t — especially not tech entrepreneurs. I was quoted recently saying that “ douchey.” I truly believe that, and I have definitely contributed my share of douchey moments in the past. tech doesn’t need to be so Partly because we have a President in the White House who is perhaps the least humble person on earth. The world could use some embracing of humility right now. And, largely because I wish I could have had this chat with my younger self long ago. You can be all those things that make a strong entrepreneur: indefatigable, ambitious, intense, confident and fast, but until you are humble about it and self-aware, you’re not playing with a full deck. Sure, there are some high profile examples of successful entrepreneurs who seem to lack the empathy gene but don’t model yourself off of them: model yourself off the most gracious you that you can be. This may sound counterintuitive but it’s true: A humble leader is a more confident leader — as you are more aware of who you are and what you do. p.s. I’m well aware that writing about being humble can be perceived as not-humble. I humbly ask for your understanding.

From 45 to Humility

I recently decided that I would shut down my company. I wanted to become successful fast because in high school I promised myself I would have a software company and be making money by the time I graduated and that didn't happen. Then I moved to California and wanted to try again to create a successful software company as a freshman in college and ran out of money just trying to live and go to school, without starting a company. Then a miracle happened, I was accepted on as one of ten contestants which satisfied my strong desire for instant gratification. I felt like I had in someway made it, even if I didn’t yet have the company I wanted. I decided to go after that by starting a company right after the filming of the show which is the company I just shut down. I needed that gratification. ABC Family’s “Startup U” I left my home at 17. I got an internship before school started. I left college to create a . startup While in California working on my company I got a chance to meet the awesome Thiel Fellows, a group of young people who were awarded $100k to drop out of school and work on a project. Come to find out I was way behind, they had so many things I didn’t: lots of funding, press, huge and audacious startups as well as being crazy intelligent. I began to think I was behind, who was I to think I was killing it when there are 17-year-olds with hundreds of thousands to million in funding? Around December, I got a call in the middle of the day informing me I was going to be put in collections the next day if I didn’t pay my debt. That shook me and made me finally stop lying to myself, I realized I started a startup to start a startup. Not to solve a problem, not because I had been thinking about it for years and needed to itch this burning scratch. All these things I was doing sound great but were all counter-productive because of two things I lacked, patience and . I wanted to go to California because I was tired of waiting and wanted my friends to see me and say . I wanted to start a successful company to be like the Thiel Fellows and hopefully, become one soon after. I wanted to be involved in startups right away so it seemed like I was doing something important and getting closer to my goals. I wanted all the success to pump up my ego immediately because I lacked… humility “Wow, John sure is a go getter!” Patience and Humility. Out of the many lessons I learned in the failing of my startup is that I have to be willing to wait years for certain goals to be met and skills attained. While I am pushing for achieving those goals I should not let my ego stop me from doing what needs to be done. I have decided to go back to college after almost a year after dropping out, I will go to community college first and start babysitting to pay my way through. That won’t get me on but it will help me reach my goals of getting into UF and graduating with savings. Not only do I want to graduate with savings Now that is a big goal that I couldn't accomplish if I was sleeping in my friends garage and not getting paid to work as I did before. I am going to finish my computer science degree and once I have that no matter what happens it is likely I will be able to get well-paying and awesome work. I remember once I was listening to This Week in Startups and the host, Jason Calacanis, said I remember laughing and thinking but he was right, the highest paying jobs I can get now are babysitting and waiting tables and those are not above $30 an hour. Entrepreneur Magazine I want to invest my entire seed round for my next company myself. “If you can’t get paid more than $30 an hour to support yourself while you’re company isn't funded go back to school.” “Not me!” Maybe I won’t be going to the fancy school at first or working for a startup (full time) while I finish my degree. I will have a chance to launch my side projects and books, save up, hustle my way into a great job probably before I graduate and I will be back with a vengeance. Now I know to do what needs to be done in order to achieve what is needed to meet my goals. Now I have (some) patience and humility. Thanks for reading! If you found this valuable a ❤ or comment would be greatly appreciated. As a gift I would like to give you my $30 book for free Silicon Valley Survival Guide here.

HUMI

humi.ca

51-200 employees

Since 2016

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HUMI

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HUMI

humi.ca

51-200 employees

Since 2016

COMPANY RANKING

HUMI

EVERGREEN INDEX #5163

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