Are you in the business of selling or connecting?

I have been a consumer all my life. I purchase and use products and services of people and known brands. As an entrepreneur, starting from the very bottom of creating my business and learning a lot these days. I am now learning the strategies of selling, marketing, finding customers etc… things I never really use to worry about in my comfortable IT job. I have also been subjected to direct selling by companies and other entrepreneurs. A mix of good and bad experience.

I often hear and read that we as business people are always selling. We are constantly selling our ideas, our credentials, our products as business professionals and companies. And if you’re not selling then no one is going to buy. Right?

So why do some — keep selling and yet nobody is buying?

Why is it that you meet people and they rain you with their credentials and things they have done and STILL you don’t buy?

The reason behind this is CONNECTION. I don’t mean connecting in the sense of LinkedIn connection where you randomly send a connection request to someone and don’t speak to them ever until you need someone just like them as per their job title.

Connection is much deeper than selling. You could be selling as hard as you want for your products and services to me but you will never get me as customers UNLESS I see a connection and potential between you and me in the future. But once we have a connection — I’ll be your customer for a long time.

So how would you might be able to establish a connection? Given at times when networking in a room you have limited time.

Here are my observations from going around the circuits of corporate, business, and entrepreneurial networking meetings of what seem to work and not work.

1. Converse don’t interrogate

How do you classify a conversation? Its a two-way flow of information and not a one-way street.

It also isn’t like this — tell me about you, pause now I’ll tell about myself, now its your turn back, then I’ll say something about myself again.

Connection is made by hooking into their ideas and interests how you may have done a similar thing, how you had the same challenges, how you may have overcome these. An interest builds up once you have a common ground to talk then it opens up about you tell them about yourself.

I was cornered by someone in a recent networking event asking me why I haven’t progressed yet in my business, what’s stopping me, what have I done, what is my plan . Questions came firing at me like a machine gunfire. Then proceeded to tell me that she runs a self-help session to help people like me.

As the person in the receiving end of these questions I felt and thought this:

• I don’t trust you to let you into my ways of thinking and process yet. So who are you again?
• I haven’t given you permission to help me. (This is key). Although I answered and allowed myself to answer thought-provoking questions. I don’t want the help from you because I don’t know you.

She was selling her services to me but clearly she didn’t connect with me. Asking tough questions without the connection is just interrogation. You don’t sell this way and guess what I didn’t buy from her.

Another experience is seeing it happen to others. I joined in a conversation with an enthusiastic young entrepreneur who is creating a startup. His passion and excitement was very infectious. The reason for starting was genuine and he was honest that he needed guidance in some area. He was cornered by a corporate type and quizzed him about ROI, market size, setup, tech app. Don’t get me wrong these are all valid questions but perhaps one where there is ALREADY a connection.

Poor guy was put on the spot that he ended up talking for 20 mins straight. At the end of it was there a point? did person asking learn anything about him and his purpose, did he hear anything about her and her purpose? Would they have been able to help each other? and possibly make each other’s ideas to come to life? Well, we’ll never know… as the conversation was more like an interrogation. She didn’t make the connection. He didn’t want to be there answering awkward questions and frankly, its just bad form.

In as much as you think people cant see you’re ways of selling — THEY DO! and its a very fine line between establishing connection and bad selling (to which you walk away with no customers).

2. The scarcity effect

These guys will make you feel like you need them in your life

Perhaps in my lifetime, this is the most common type of selling that I have been subjected to. It tries to appeal to you on a sense of urgency. The message it sends out is either you’re with us or you’re not going to succeed… and don’t you want to succeed?

This strategy ensures that the company or the person really establishes their credibility to you and then says to you and me that if we walk away now — we will be missing a great opportunity.

I recently went to a networking meeting hosted by a small company (not going to mention their name) who had this approach down pat and used it on all budding entrepreneurs in the room.

Did it work? It definitely worked for some BUT not for all. It worked for those where connection was made. As for me, I could see what they were selling and how it doesn’t fulfil my current needs at the moment. Plus, I’m not a fan of playing with people’s emotions that way. It just felt like a cruel way to force in a connection.

3. They all want to help you

When you offer your services to me, and ask me how you can help me. Wanting me to share my dreams with you. Fire back lots of inspirational quotes in your LinkedIn encouraging me to act now. You have to realise this important point. The questions you’re asking are pretty deep stuff. People like me (your potential customer/s) don’t open our hearts to a random Joe off the street UNLESS you have established credibility and a CONNECTION was made between us.

Here is what you can try instead

• I don’t know if I like you yet

A common mistake is when people jump into selling their services, credentials, and products but you and I have no hook or connection yet. This makes me think well I don’t like you yet so why will I do business with you?

One way to establish a connection is to start sharing your story. Why you started the services. what happened to you, what might you have in common with the person you’re talking to, what challenges have you encountered and how have you overcome them. Your story makes you human, memorable and impressionable. Its a better way of removing that blanket of BS when networking and it makes much easier to you like you.

• Are you genuine?

This is by far probably the hardest part to fake. When you are genuine it comes out of the way you interact, the way you converse with your potential customer/s and the way you talk about your services/products. Being genuine makes the right people like you and make that connection. The toughest part is everyone in the room knows when you’re not genuine.

• What are your credentials?

When I hired my accountant I made sure he has all the industry credentials, a good reputation in the community and good feedback in terms of his services from other business owners.

As a small business owner offering your services and products establishing your credibility doesn’t only mean telling me where you went to university and what books you have written (which I may never have heard of). This could mean sharing with me some of your struggles and wins so far — again back to sharing your story. Which builds character credibility on top of your own business achievements. Character credibility builds connection.

Connecting is the new selling

Let’s take a look at how connection is being applied in world of social media.

Instagram

Appeals to just about anyone. Makes anyone an instant product endorser. People show their day and usage of products through photos. Other people see how similar their wants and needs are. They have something in common = CONNECTION. BAM! I’m going to use the same products and services!

BlogsThis is why successful bloggers, don’t only stay in the realm of their expertise. One of my favourite food bloggers who not only makes delicious recipes at recipetineats.com she shares stories in her recipes — that this bbq marinade is a family favourite or that her delicious Thai stir fry was taught to her by her college room mate’s mum.

There is a story that you and I can relate to. It just sticks… and then you are hooked. Even though she and I are total strangers, I as a reader feel that there is a CONNECTION so I keep coming back.

Pinning boards

Pinterest started a business of pinning photos to boards and grouping them into any order you want. You can have aspirations, motivations, something cute, funny, etc… Businesses like Ebay have caught up to this and makes their stores pin products to tell a story. Would you like to have a beach day? Here is a board that will bring some inspiration and story of what you can enjoy and wear on a beach!

Pinning boards lead you on to a story. You end up liking it. Strike a connection = sold!

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If you haven’t invested in connecting yet, make sure you do. Because when you do, you will gain a follower and customer for a long time.

Finally, I’m a woman of my word — if you do realise that you like this content or want to hear more here’s a little bit about me. I have been working in the corporate world and had a comfy IT job for 10 years. I recently quit that job and started pursuing my entrepreneurial dreams (its not easy and I’m learning every day). I struggle to write at times, I’m a keen observer, I talk to myself and my dog Buddy a lot. My home blog is at DERIV8.com.au