As a software engineer with more than 15 years of experience, a LinkedIn and Stackoverflow profile, I got my fair share of interaction with recruiters. Some were spot-on with the relaxed to the point attitude that gets an engineer’s attention.
Others were really weird. I was contacted by a recruiter from the company I just left 2 months before. Or another recruiter called me and refused to tell me where they got my number from. That was awkward.
Over time, I started seeing some patterns emerging on how recruiters contacted me. Please try to avoid them, as they don’t lead anywhere.
The worst emails I get are those when the recruiter starts the message with something to the tune of:
Hi Tudor, I’m, looking for a position that requires technology
<recruiter>. Do you happen to know if somebody’s interested?
Not from the top of my head, but worry not, I will spend the next two weekends calling everyone I know to see if someone’s interested. You know, just because we’re friends!
looks like a
. There are calligraphy classes available if you don’t understand your own handwriting. Also, Google is your friend.
Nobody has 5 years of work experience with a framework that was released 2 years ago. If I were to have a time machine I would use it for something useful, like stopping Hitler. Buying Bitcoin. Beating the shit out of my primary school bully. Time-traveling to learn a framework before everyone else on the off-shot that someday it may land me this job doesn’t even make my super-mega-extra-long list.
Hi Tubor, bla bla bla …
Hi random recruiter, please click here: How to Copy, Cut, and Paste for Beginners. On a more serious note, one of the easiest ways to create rapport is to address people by their names. Corollary: one of the easiest ways to break rapport is to get people’s names wrong.
Also, Starbucks may be a better career choice. They seem to thrive on getting names wrong.
When you’re looking for someone that can do Java, python, C, React, Vue, AWS, Azure, Linux, SEO, Photoshop and/or Illustrator and security background is an advantage, you’re not hiring a person, you’re hiring an entire tech department.
Bonus points if the salary is in the junior range. Try playing the lottery, the odds are better!
Hi Tudor, I have a job offer that may interest you. Can I please share it with you?
Yes, please go ahead. I accept all the cookies!
Also known as “will you abandon your life and move to a different country for a 3 months contract?”. Sure, I heard a lot of people quit their long term job and move to Reading, Berkshire for a 3 months contract. Personally I always wanted to move to a place I can’t show on the map. What? The contract can be extended? Amazing, let me call the moving company. #YOLO
No details whatsoever. The message looks more like a puzzle of the imagination than a job offer. It gives me a James Bond vibe just reading it.
I’m recruiting for one of global leaders in technology. We have a very young and highly experienced working on some very cool projects. The salary and perks are amazing. Can you please send me your CV at [email protected]?
Sure. I don’t find it at all weird that your team is both extremely young and experienced at the same time. And I always wanted to work on cool projects for an industry leader. Here’s my CV:
Amazing software engineer with a lot of years of experience working for industry leaders and not so industry leaders. I am versed in a lot of technologies on both client and server.
I also have cool hobbies and I speak some languages. You may contact me at [email protected]
I think I would make a good fit.
Hi, I was wondering if you’re interested in this C# position…
Sure, I will throw away years of accrued knowledge and start from scratch with a technology that’s not even mentioned as “others” on my profile. But fear not, I am a fast learner and I will reach senior level before tomorrow’s interview. But just to make sure it’s worth my time, the job is in Reading Berkshire, right?
Dear Tudor, I hope you’re well…
No, just no.
Previously published at https://medium.com/@motanelu/a-letter-to-tech-recruiters-fe4f5d02a828