1. Your Venture Capital startup tech bro friend in San Francisco whom you haven’t spoken with in a year suddenly sends you a Facebook message:
“Will you be my crypto investment advisor?”
You answer politely:
“I’m sorry but I don’t give out investment advice. However, did you know that a brand-new decentralized cloud computing project, iEx.ec, just ended their token sale?”
2. Your Facebook acquaintance in Los Angeles who works in media for Saatchi & Saatchi, whom you’ve never spoken to suddenly messages you about your recent Bitcoin spike price post.
And in this new message to you about the recent Bitcoin price spike, he tells you that he is very interested in learning all about these decentralized altcoin spaces. And if that weren’t enough, he might actually be interested in partnering with you on a new decentralized project. You’ve never even had a Facebook conversation with this acquaintance in the five years you’ve known him and now suddenly you’re almost zeitgeist bffs and halfway into brokering some sort of deal that sniffs of mainstream advertising.
3. Your mom finally breaks down and buys $500 worth of DASH from you after hearing about the ridiculous amount of profit you’re making daily from your crypto trades.
Your mom is sick of hearing about the daily profits from your Ethereum, DASH, Bitcoin, Steem and Decred investments. She finally succumbs, and decides to give you $500 in exchange for 5.6 DASH. A week later she’s happy because she’s made $78 without having to leave the house.
4. A circus freak has just submitted a proposal to the DASH DAO.
In a rare first, a member of a prominent European circus submits a proposal to the DASH DAO (Decentralized Autonomous Organization). You’ve seen many ATM proposals, and other assorted nerdgasm proposals, like a DASH-branded beverage dispenser, but a circus freak? No, this is a first. Crypto is about to go mainstream.
5. Some random white collar business dude in your city just gave you a notification on Facebook that he will be attending your Digital Currency Happy Hour event that is from your DASH For Newbies Facebook Page.
You’ve never met this particular business dude, but he’s been searching for a digital currency meetup in his city, and he hunted you down on Facebook because of it. He often sends you Facebook messages asking if you own certain shitcoins.
6. Your next door neighbor suddenly shows up unannounced and demands to know how to use his private keys on Steemit.com.
You’re going about your usual business on a Thursday evening, obsessively checking Coinmarketcap, and suddenly there’s a knock on your door. It’s your neighbor Dave, the guy who smokes a lot of weed. He looks frantic and in a booming voice says,
“I need to know how to use my private keys on Steemit! Can you help me?”
You ask Dave a series of questions, first starting with the basics of what computer system he’s using and device specifics. You first give him the rundown on security and repeat over and over:
Steemit is now your bank. Don’t lose your keys! You can’t ever get those keys back, so your key security is the most important thing. Steemit is your bank now. Private keys are your lifeline. DON’T LOSE YOUR KEYS AND DON’T STORE YOUR PRIVATE KEYS ON YOUR COMPUTER OR SMARTPHONE!