The Best Problem Solver Is A Large Network

10 career and life lessons passed down to me by people you walk by everyday

“A Lego stormtrooper on sand” by Daniel Cheung on Unsplash

“It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.”

What I love most about reading, is not necessarily learning about someone else’s story, but finding that one sentence that stops me in my tracks and allows my mind to wonder into my own. The line above from, Paulo Coehlo’s, “The Alchemist,” is the first sentence I can recall having this effect on me.

However, no matter how powerful books are, for me personally, nothing compares to the real thing — Having another human being, standing right in front of me, say something that changes my world.

The collection of advice below was not said by a New York Times bestseller, or on the stage of TED, but by people you walk by everyday on the street, who in one sentence, opened my eyes to something I had maybe heard, but had never before seen.

1. “Most people spend the first half of their lives collecting and the second half determining what to keep.” — My best friend

My friend said this to me last year on my birthday and immediately got me thinking about the lessons and experiences I had learned that I want to hold onto. His words put into perspective what is truly important and interestingly enough, not one tangible item was on the list.

Collect friends. Collect experiences. Collect memories.

2. “People need to get clear in three areas: Clarity of vision, certainty of action and values. Values being the most important — if someone has similar values, they are worth given a 10th, 100th or even 1000th chance.” — Conor Neill

Over the last handful of years, no-one has made me think more than Conor Neill. Conor said the words above to me in response to why he gave me a second chance after I blew my first impression. He noticed I was not clear on the first two points, but he could tell we shared similar values and worth another shot. After thinking how lucky I was to have someone like that in my life, I began thinking about how many people I had prematurely judged and dismissed because of one image snapped at one moment in time.

When meeting new people we rarely know exactly what is going in their lives. They may be exhausted because they just had a child, distracted because of a problem at work, in mourning because a loved one just passed or maybe they just had a shit day. Either way, life is long and by passing judgement on someone due to one bad impression we risk loosing a connection tomorrow.

Give people time. Give people room to show themselves. Give people another shot.

3. “People do not wake up every day and think of how they can make your life difficult.” — My Mom

The only certainty in life is that things are going to go wrong. So when something does, instead of placing blame, focus on solutions.

Most people are not out to get you. Most people have good intentions. Most people are good.

4. “Whether you choose to believe me or not, I am not trying to break you down by criticizing you. I am actually trying to build you up.” — My first boss

For the longest time I thought any negative air being blown in my direction was an attack on me as a person. However, this changed when my first boss said the words above to me.

Everyday we are encouraged to learn from our failures. But this is not a job we have to do on our own. Most likely if someone’s feedback negatively affects you, it means there is some truth to it, and whether we see it in the moment or not, it is coming from a caring place.

Allow people to tell you what you may have missed. Allow people to show you where you screwed up. Allow people to help you get things right.

5. “Stop reading books only from people you admire.” — My Dad

Too often we read only what we want to read and spend time talking with people who share our same worldview. Of course this is important and being surrounded with people who lift us up feeds the human soul on some level. But in order to be truly empathetic and well-rounded, you must also put yourself in a position to be challenged, and often.

Just because you have always believed something, does not mean those who don’t, aren’t also right.

Seek out the counter-argument. Learn how the other half lives. Be open to learning something new.

6. “The best way to find a mentor is to be one .” — Current Client

My client was dead right when saying, “If you are helping other people to achieve their goals, you will have no problem finding people to help you achieve yours.”

You may be attracted to certain people who you think can best help you. However, if you are doing work that goes beyond just you, your mentors will be attracted to you.

The best way to get is to give.

7. “Seven out of our top ten sales people have a coach.” — CEO of my first company

Recently I reached out to the CEO of the first company I worked at and asked him what traits ran consistent in his top earners. His response was immediate. “They have coaches.” The people who have someone to teach them and hold them accountable, not only when things are going south, but all the time, find themselves heading north most of the time.

8. “The best problem solver is a large network.” — Coaching Client

There is no better advice for creating a successful career, and meaningful life, than to go out into the world and meet people.

Most solutions are a handshake away.

9. “You do not have “fears.” You have “one fear” and you better address it before it dictates your life — best friend

Growing up stuttering I have always had a fear of sharing my ideas with the world. Since addressing this fear, the advice I was given above has proved to be dead accurate.

Do not worry about “crushing” your biggest fear. Focus on chipping away at it until one day, the uncomfortable become comfortable. This may take time, but everything worth having does.

10. “You do not have a career. You have a life.” — My Wife

Most people focus on their career goals that they neglect to answer what they really want out of life. Prior to meeting my wife, I too was one of these people, and thanks to her words, and more importantly, her example of putting friends and family first, I have never been happier.

I love learning about the advice that has changed someone’s world. Don’t hesitate to continue the conversation by leaving these lessons in the comments below.

Stay Curious.

Thanks for reading, sharing and following! :)

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