The Uncovered Secret Lives of MBAs From a Tech Person's Perspective

Preface*: I spent 3 days with MBA students from 2 of the top 10 universities in the world. Our interactions were within a school environment and comprised of academic and social activities. This includes almost 8 hours of lecture time, 5 hours in parties, and multiple formal and informal interactions over 3 days. Below is a summary of what I uncovered.*

“I have my suit packed” I texted my friend half joking, half serious.

I was going to be spending the next 3 days with a friend at one of the top 10 universities in the world, and I was going to be participating in an MBA class.

I was excited to see my friend, but I didn’t know what to expect from the MBA class and his colleagues.

You see, my friend and I have always been different in our approach to career growth.

Although we both understood the value of hard work, I relied a lot on my hard skills while his approach placed a great deal of emphasis on soft skills.

I always supported his decision to pursue an MBA, but I never understood why he wanted to be a “suit”.

To understand my thought process, you have to understand that I started my career initially as a freelance software engineer almost 13 years ago. You know, when tech was about being ‘hardcore.’ My first full-time job was at an organization that treated business team members & MBAs better than members of the tech team. It always felt like a situation of ‘us versus them.’

It was common for members of the tech team to do an online MBA and make the switch to the business team just for the chance at better pay & recognition.

The movies and podcasts I consumed also backed this up. MBAs (typically called “suits”) were often portrayed as trust fund know-it-alls who were far removed from the realities of everyday people, didn’t understand how things worked, and somehow felt superior to others. I unconsciously carried this around with me.

First Impression

My first day was fairly quiet. I spent part of it walking around the campus and understanding where the key areas were.

I had started meeting some people from the MBA program, and the first thing I noticed was how ethnically diverse they were. They were also quite friendly and happy to strike up a conversation with a stranger.

I got some food, watched a movie, and had an early night in preparation for the class tomorrow.

Observations in an Academic Setting

The next day, I was sitting in a Negotiation class from 9 am to 4:45 pm.

The class included a lecture, a case study based on a variation of real events, a debrief session, and a take-home assignment.

People were assigned different roles in the case study. They were given clear but conflicting deliverables that they needed to get out of the negotiation in order for their character to be successful.

I sat quietly in the corner, observing; not sure what to expect.

The negotiations kicked off and it all felt so real! Everyone embodied their character and was determined to get what they wanted.

There was also something different about it.

This didn’t feel like a gathering of people who didn’t know how the real world worked. It felt like quite the opposite. I saw people use elite tactics including teamwork and betrayal to get what they wanted from the deal.

After negotiating intensely for hours, the group I was part of finally came to a conclusion that was suitable for all parties.

When the class was over, I had a chat with a few of the students to understand their motivation to get an MBA and how the journey had been so far. They candidly shared their motivations, which I have summarized in the end notes of this post.

Observation in Socials

I kicked off socials at a barbecue party with about 50 MBA students moving in and out. As I moved around and got introduced to various groups, our conversations ranged from who made the best soup to Man Utd’s performance this season. It was not what I expected.

To be honest, the conversations were a lot more down-to-earth than conversations I’ve had at tech/start-up social events. Nobody was trying to portray themselves as a ‘genius’ or the person who is changing the world. Even though a lot of the people there had done great things before they joined the program.

The next stop was a party at one of the popular spots on campus. I was attending with a smaller group as most people were tired from the barbecue or had work to do. We had pre-drinks in one of the dorms and headed out for the night.

This time, I spent more time observing the group than actually participating. I could see clearly that they had started building strong friendships that would last a lifetime. Bonding over shared suffering, happiness, and shared destinations.

Perhaps this is why it could sometimes seem to outsiders like there’s some sort of ‘clique’. They were spending all this time together and were starting to build friendships that they would gladly defend if necessary.

Conclusion/End Notes

I woke up on the final day tired but filled with a feeling that I couldn’t quite explain. That was when I noticed it for the first time in 3 days.

It was a sticker on the only window in the dormitory that I was in. “Build something Massive.” was boldly written across it.

It summarized my thoughts about the MBA program and the students I had met. The program was a chance for ambitious people to learn and to build their lives and careers into something massive, and most of them sacrificed a lot for this opportunity.

• Over 90% of them are immigrants.
• A lot of them are on scholarships that they had to fight for, while some took loans to attend the program.
• A lot of them are anxious and working hard to find internships/jobs months before they graduate because they feel the need to start providing value that can offset the cost of their program.
• Some of them left their families and cushy jobs/businesses to move into student accommodation for this program.

I believe that the summary of these factors is why some of them seem to have a chip on their shoulders when they graduate. They believe that they have sacrificed a lot and deserve to be where they are. If it was you, you may feel the same way too.

It’s humbling for me to write this as it exposes my past ignorance. But it’s important to put this out because there are many people who may be even more ignorant.

So what did I really uncover about these MBAs?

I learned that

They’re parents.

They’re lovers.

They’re dreamers.

They reflect everything that’s great about the world and everything that is wrong about it too. (Just like the rest of us.)

The world has promised them in this unwritten contract that if they do [x] (i.e., get a prestigious MBA), then doors will open for them. That their hard work and sacrifice would be rewarded.

For a lot of them, the MBA is their path to a better life, recognition for their hard work, and a better future.

During my time there, I felt very welcome in every circle, though I was meeting a lot of them for the first time. In fact, I may have annoyed some people anytime I was visibly shocked by something they did that went against the stereotype of an MBA.

Would I get an MBA? I don’t know yet. But I have even more respect and appreciation for everyone who has gotten an MBA and everyone who plans to get one. You don’t know me, but I’m proud of you.

I want to thank Professor Owen for letting me sit in on the class. I enjoyed your approach to teaching the subject, and I appreciate how attentive you were to everyone. I learned a lot about negotiating and about people.