Picture this: You and your dear friend(or anyone for that matter) get into a fight and suddenly your friend says something which questions your existence, deems you worthless or touches you(mentally) where you don’t want to be touched at and leaves you bursting like Arnold in front of the Terminators.
Your brain now commands you to take a reflex action. This reflex action can be saying the same thing to them, saying something equally(or more) bad to them, saying something about them which enraged you eons ago (but you had chosen to forget about it back then) or going full Bruce Lee(worst case!) on them. There can obviously be several other ways to react to such situations but my focus is on the reactions which lie in the “ENRAGED, BLOOD-BOILING” category. You have accumulated your thoughts in approximately 10 milliseconds and you are now ready to execute your reflex.
Now this is what I’ll suggest you should do, what you should always keep in your mind and how you can prevent things from getting nastier.
I have a simple assumption here: You have eventually regretted things you have done in a fit of anger in the past and thought a lot about how you would have managed it differently.
And gulp some saliva down your throat.”
It works! You’ll calm yourself down and it won’t look stupid.
“Forgive them RIGHT NOW!”
This person in consideration might have said something to you again as a reflex to some action that you did and hasn’t put in enough time thinking about it. If you really care about the said person, immediately ask/push/force yourself to forgive them. Maybe it’s their anger/assumptions/misconceptions speaking and not them.
“Give it 5 minutes”
If this is your dear friend do consider that what they have said to you might be under some assumptions(maybe misconceptions too). They could be wrong, they might not be that wrong. Do not take any assumptions or decisions right now because: You simply haven’t put in enough time thinking about it so far.
So you get it, right? The motive here is to give yourself some time to
re-collect your thoughts so that you can react better and not say something which you actually do not mean or intend to say. You can always calm down and discuss things later.
But do talk it out soon with them because if you really care you shouldn’t start a COLD-WAR due to your stupid ego.
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