The principal faults in Burnet's style

Too Long; Didn't Read

The principal faults in Burnet's style are (a) the use of heterogeneous sentences (see 43); (b) the want of suspense (see 30); (c) the ambiguous use of pronouns (see 5); (d) the omission of connecting adverbs and conjunctions, and an excessive use of and (see 44); and (e) an abruptness in passing from one topic to another (see 45). The correction of these faults necessarily lengthens the altered version. ORIGINAL VERSION. PARALLEL VERSION.   And his maintaining the honour of He also gratified the English  the nation in all foreign feeling of self-respect by  countries gratified the (1) maintaining the honour of the  vanity which is very natural nation in all foreign countries.  (50) to Englishmen; (30) (43) of So jealous was he on this point  which he was so (15) (17 a) that, though he was not a crowned  careful that, though he was not head, he yet secured for his  a crowned head, yet his (40 a) ambassadors all the respect that  ambassadors had all the respects had been paid to the ambassadors  paid them which our (15) kings' of our kings. The king, he said,  ambassadors ever had: he said (6 received respect simply as the  b) the dignity of the crown nation's representative head,  was upon the account of the and, since the nation was the  nation, of which the king was same, the same respect should  (50) only the representative be paid to the[28] nation's  head; so, the nation being the ministers.  same, he would have the same  regards paid to (41) his  ministers.