I’m about to use the tactic number 4.
As a psychologist, I’m endlessly fascinated by the dark side of communication, what we usually call manipulation.
Although the term often carries a negative connotation, its essence is simply the act of influencing someone’s thoughts, feelings, or actions. The ethical dimension of manipulation depends largely on the intent behind it and the means used.
But in an era saturated with information, the lines between persuasion and manipulation often blur. From advertisements promising happiness with the next purchase to political speeches tugging at our partisan beliefs, every message we encounter seems to carry an underlying agenda.
But how can we distinguish genuine communication from deceitful tactics? How do we stay grounded when every narrative is vying for our beliefs?
I’ll explore common manipulation strategies to help you recognise the next time you’re being persuaded (manipulated).
Starting with an extreme position or suggestion to make subsequent, less extreme positions seem more acceptable.
For example: A salesman first shows you a very expensive product. After seeing your reluctance, they show you a moderately priced option, which now seems reasonable in comparison.
Offering something for free or providing a favour to induce a feeling of obligation in the recipient.
For example: A colleague helps you with an unasked task. Later, they request your assistance on something time-consuming.
Highlighting that many others are doing or believing something, implying that you should too.
For example: Advertisements often use phrases like “Join the millions who have already switched to our product.”
Using titles, uniforms, or other symbols of authority to gain compliance.
For example: A person introducing themselves as Dr. So-and-So before giving advice, even if their expertise is unrelated.
People are more easily persuaded by people they like, whether because they share similarities, offer compliments, or just have a pleasant demeanour.
For example: A friend praises your taste in movies before asking if they can borrow your new DVD.
Indicating that something is in limited supply or won’t be available for long.
For example: “Limited-time offers” or “only a few items left in stock” prompts in online stores.
Making someone afraid of a potential problem and then offering a solution.
For example: A computer software advertisement first highlights the risks of viruses and malware, then presents their software as the solution.
Leveraging someone’s desire to appear consistent with their words or actions.
For example: After you publicly declare a New Year’s resolution to get fit, a friend encourages you to join their expensive gym.
Making someone question their reality or memories creates doubt and dependence.
For example: After forgetting to meet you as promised, a friend insists they never agreed to a meet-up and suggests you might be forgetful.
Suggesting that since everybody else believes something or is doing something, you should too.
For example: “Everyone I know is voting for Candidate X. Maybe you should reconsider your choice.”
Presenting two options as the only possibilities when, in fact, more exist.
For example: “You’re either with us, or you’re against us.”
Using strong emotional stories or images to sway opinion rather than relying on facts.
For example: A neighbor trying to convince you to support a local initiative shares a heart-wrenching story of a single incident rather than broader data or facts.
Only sharing information that aligns with a person’s existing beliefs.
For example: Knowing you’re an environmentalist, a friend only shares positive news about electric cars and omits any drawbacks.
Asking questions that contain an assumption or that force a particular answer.
For example: “Don’t you think it’s time you settled down and had kids?”
Manipulation isn’t black and white, even if it appears so. Most people use these tactics unconsciously. But the key is intent.
I said I’m a psychologist at the beginning of this piece because I wanted you to know I have a background in what I’m talking about and, therefore, appear more authoritative — is that manipulative? Is it good or bad?
Yet, by understanding how manipulation works, we can make informed choices, whether we’re on the receiving end or using it to influence. Knowledge is power, and in this case, it’s the power to navigate manipulation wisely.
By recognizing these tactics, you can better navigate conversations and situations, making more informed and autonomous decisions.
Also published here.