Out of many things only grandparents allow kids to do, my favorite was watching American Wrestling which aired way past my bedtime.

My grandma would be fast asleep, and I’d be glued to a TV. I was 10 and head over heels for John Cena. Check out his tune 👇

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rl5HgoDXXwA&embedable=true

It still rings in my head every time I think about him 😁

Not once did it cross my mind that it was staged though.

I thought, OMG! How are Americans allowed to do this in public? How cool! How crazy! Wow!

What Does Kayfabe Have To Do With Anything?

The video above of Cena getting on stage and ripping into people is called kayfabe.

In professional wrestling, the term refers to a portrayal of staged events as true.

The viewers know it’s fake, but they must suspend disbelief to enjoy wrestling.

But I’m not so certain everyone in the audience knows it’s fake.

Kind of how I feel when I look at the world today.

Kayfabe In Entertainment

One of my first jobs was working at a juice bar. My assistant manager was a lovely 35-year-old lady who LOVED Kim K. She could not be convinced the show was manufactured and public appearances staged.

I was surprised a grown woman with 2 kids refused to see it for what it was.

It’s clearly fake, yet they have millions of people watching and following their every move. They do have true fans and more than a thousand at that.

For the record, I’ve nothing against the Kardashians. I sometimes watch their show because I’m interested to see what the public consumes. I know; I sound like a douchebag 🤷‍♀️

They’re trying to be relatable; the family-is-everything enterprise is fun to watch.

Someone rolls in with a custom-made Rolls-Royce (très relatable), joins the rest of the family in a lavish living room (why yes, my living room is also the size of a horse stable with 20 French windows overlooking a perfect garden with a pool and fountain in the background), and then starts talking about unrealistic beauty standards (sure ya’ll only do botox even though faces and body shapes changed 5 times this season alone) as if they’re not the people who set those standards.

Their conversations are so dumb that a goldfish would get the points they make. It’s hilarious 😂

But there are millions of people online acting as if what they see on that show is real. They fight in the comments, defend their favorite Kardashian, and spend hours following their private life. Not to mention that everyone in and affiliated with the family are multimillionaires.

But hey, don’t hate the player hate the game, amirite?

Kayfabe In Advertising

https://youtu.be/s8YkExg3SvE?embedable=true

Ahhh my favourite topic - skincare.

Science shows that 90% of products on the market are an absolute sham. ‘Clinically proven’ is a jargon for we hired a ‘research’ company that finds data we want them to find.

One of such companies’ website reads: *Our mission is to accommodate the needs of our clients and partners in providing the highest quality of clinical research and data collection at our site

**while we maximize returns on our client’s investments. ***

Yep, sure, that’s science 🤷‍♀️

Now to the funny part. Most skincare products are advertised by 20-year-olds who already have flawless skin or:

Celebrities who have access to the best facialists, skin care and fillers or

“Older” women who have had multiple fillers if not a facelift.

Any leftover humanness is covered by make-up and Photoshop.

Yet, everyone seems to be willing to suspend disbelief that it’s possible for a 50-year-old woman to have no wrinkles. Kayfabe!

The same goes for fitness magazines, social media, and fashion. People have cellulite, wrinkles, grey hair, different body shapes, and pimples on their faces. Yet, people suspend disbelief and keep buying into crazy promises of advertising.

Kayfabe in Politics

Pre-Trump, every American President and most politicians engaged in performed solemnity. They were serious, they were strong, and they were gonna figure everything out. Daddy was in da house, and everything was going to be okay.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rl5HgoDXXwA

Yes, there are only good and bad guys, dear Americans, and we’re always the good guys. No, we did not just bomb a wedding full of innocent people to kill one bad guy. No, hold on, we did, but there could have been future bad guys in there too. I was saving you from future trouble.

Enters Trump and the absolute chaos ensues. In politics and public discourse. I prefer performed solemnity over the President tweeting every fart on his mind, but this is where we find ourselves 🤷‍♀️

Politics has become yet another entertainment program we tune into.

Public discourse is only black and white; the us vs them sentiment is the strongest it’s ever been, and conversations at large cannot be had because no one can agree on the meaning of words anymore.

This is post post-modernism.

Few other examples of political kayfabe 👇

Monarchy in the UK.
Russia calling WW2 The Great Patriotic War.
China's ‘vocational education and training centers’ is a nicer term for concentration camps.
Political parties pretend to fight each other in public even though behind the scenes they have the same goal - win the next election.
Nations are not real but myths and stories upheld by the government.

etc.

P.S. It’s not that Trump created the political kayfabe to crumble; it’s been a long time coming. I’d argue since the Internet came out.

Kayfabe on Social Media

Remember the good old days on Facebook and Instagram when you would share a random cat video or unedited pic of yourself just having fun?

That’s long gone. Even I can barely remember that, and I’m 29. Now, it’s all about flexing how perfect your life is.

Lifestyle influencers, beauty brand ambassadors, and life coaches are there to teach you how to live your best life.

Oh, let’s not forget suggested ads in between posts that are sponsored by advertisers.

Girlies, omg, so many of you asked (nobody asked) where I got this toilet brush from and it’s from Buy an Overpriced Toilet Brush to Pretend You’re Doing Something with Your Life Co! Do you LOVE it, I LOVE it! Anyway, with my discount ISELLYOUBS you will get 10% off your first purchase 🙏💖🙏✨✨✨✨✨✨

For the sake of equality, let’s do the bro version:

(Stands shirtless in the kitchen) DID YoU KNOw thAT VEgetabLes kiLL yOU?! JOe rogAN haD a guEsT wHo did ReSeaRcH on His Brocolli TrEe aND fouND thAT brOcoLi iS PrOvEn To KiLl yOu AnD yoUR enTiRe FaMIly (I don’t know why but I don’t care because I just appealed to your protective urge)— BUY MY PROTEIN SHAKE AND LET’S TOGETHER PROTEST THE BIG PHARMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But people buy that shit, it works. Kayfabe at its best.

Don’t hate the player, hate the game I remind myself yet again as I regret having gotten back on Instagram for the 10th time this week.

I know you might say, “But Rima it’s your algorithm.” There are plenty of real people on there too. And yes, I’ve seen those accounts.

But be honest, how many times do you catch yourself looking at someone’s life thinking oh, they have it so good, they’re so happy, their lives are problem-free, their children never throw tantrums, they don’t feel insecure, their relationship is perfect, they [insert whatever]?

I follow my friends’ profiles so I know their personal lives, and I still fall for it! Someone tells me about their relationship issues, but I go online the next day, watch their stories, and think to myself that they’re a problem-free human 😂🤷‍♀️

It’s an illusion of social media perpetuated by our deepest fears and insecurities.

Final Words

This is where we find ourselves, and there’s no point in lamenting over this. It took me a long time, and I still haven’t fully accepted it, but most of the world is engaging in kayfabe.

That’s what makes me believe we’re in a simulation (you can read my pieces on this topic here, here, and here). Surely people can’t think this shit is real?

So, if this world is simulated, our mind creates kayfabe. The suspension of disbelief to be able to live. The Hindus called it Maya.

Have a great week, compliment a stranger, and smile at your reflection in the mirror ✨

Rima 💖

P.S. Ryan Holiday’s Trust Me I’m Lying unveils how easy it is to manipulate the media and public discourse. In fact, almost everything you consume in both traditional and online media is by design.

P.P.S. If you’re interested in how our mind creates reality, look up Joscha Bach.