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Leading By Letting Go. How To Quit Disturbing Your Engineering Team From Growingby@taraslazoriv
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Leading By Letting Go. How To Quit Disturbing Your Engineering Team From Growing

by Taras LazorivNovember 8th, 2022
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A background sets our threshold, where, as it seems, we should dwell humbly without looking beyond. A person does not become a world-class athlete, having only a penchant for sports: a champion’s life is actually hard work. As a child, I always looked for loopholes, invented scenarios, and organized some sort of action, which I needed badly. My self-discipline helped me to single-handedly grope for different leadership aspects. As you grow, finding a mentor becomes harder and harder. The more independence you provide as a leader, the more the team gives back.

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Interpreting Leadership: Nature Vs. Nurture

Is leadership a part of DNA or an acquired feature? I think it's 50/50. Clearly, certain predispositions have a place to be. Nevertheless, a person does not become a world-class athlete, having only a penchant for sports: a champion’s life is actually hard work. I am positive that growing up matters a lot: methods of bringing up, surrounding people, places, and things, encouraged and extinguished initiatives. A background sets our threshold, where, as it seems, we should dwell humbly without looking beyond.

As a child, I always looked for loopholes, invented scenarios, and organized some sort of action, which I needed badly. To pull it off, I had to find a company of like-minded people, convince them, pitch, and sell them the idea of ​​the entertainment I wanted. I simultaneously developed in several areas: I learned what to say so that people would agree with me, sorted out the logistics, and drew an action plan. And also, it was necessary to find ways of getting away from parental punishment, which is typical for children's mischief. I was driven by perseverance and invested my energy and impulse into it. Perhaps this is the essential input data defining the career path, and the external circumstances come into play afterward.

Moment “X” Or Where The Leader Begins

Sometimes, the growth opportunity arises when there is no position, but there is one single initiative of yours to become, for example, a lead. That's exactly my case. Over the years, I realized that I wasn’t a professional at that time, but I had a chance and will. Many have gone through a similar story at the beginning of their career, which, in my opinion, is the local specifics of the market. I became a real leader well after that when I delved into hands-on management: I provided a high level of construction and organization of processes. I needed constant feedback and devoted a lot of time to one-to-one calls and code reviews. My self-discipline helped me to single-handedly grope for different leadership aspects.


At my current place of work, my growth picked up the pace and got easier. I consciously pursued the senior position because I knew what I wanted: to walk this journey with a mentor. Being dedicated to the professional development of the mentees, a mentor pulls you up on all vital topics, pays a lot of attention, and gives you the necessary boost. As you grow, finding a mentor becomes harder and harder. Even if I were offered to work under the supervision of my mentor and play a supporting role, I would agree because now I understand well what it means to be a leader and how much effort and soul the profession demands.

The Main Challenge Is To Let Go

The ability to loosen the grip is probably the most difficult: letting go of the processes and observing from afar takes courage. Many managers tend to think that they need to keep their eye on employees and do someone’s work because it’s faster — this applies to both coding and managerial tasks. I am often drawn to do the work for a junior, spending minutes instead of hours or even days. It’s a challenge you have to deal with.

But the point is that people must learn. The more independence you provide as a leader, the more the team gives back. You can delegate more complex things that require a lot of time, moral and physical resources. Just learn to let go: instead of watching, give others the opportunity to take the initiative. Even after five years in the leading position, I continue to improve this skill to this day.

There is always a temptation to show, explain, or even spell things out, but this is not always a necessity. Helping to develop means not interfering with self-comprehension of a profession, stuffing bumps, and grasping the important lessons. From a team lead’s viewpoint, there are two extremes: micromanaging and doing everything for everyone, or paying no attention to people at all and letting everything take its course. The first option is naturally closer to my heart; however, I am sure there has to be a balance here.

Speaking Of Balance: Does The Leader Have One?

Working day limits are necessary primarily for systematizing. Being available 24/7 means my mailbox and messengers will ding in the morning, afternoon, evening, and night. My seemingly harmless sleep will result in a bunch of unanswered letters of various criticality. By setting boundaries, we can increase the entire team's productivity and work as one. Recently, I listened to a speaker who emphasized the importance of clear boundaries and work/life balance. It was quite funny because I knew his working day was never less than 14 hours. I allow myself to work after hours, not because I take on a lot, but because I enjoy it. It is never an end in itself.


I had a lot of pet projects that I ceased to update at some point. And all because I satisfied all my ambitions at work. It's not difficult for me to visit a project on Saturday and see how everything works. That gives me food for thought, which transforms into ideas and proposals for discussion. My team’s support helped bring many of those ideas to life; I can always rely on my people.

Helping By Getting Out Of The Way

The development of team members stems from a close connection. Everyone is special, with their own background, mindset, and mentality. There is no single path since each human being is a unique combination of preferences, propensities, and interests. Excellent performers may constantly take the initiative within one definite area. In this case, forcing them to regroup and do things that are unnatural for them would be a wrongdoing. An individual approach to everyone is the key to healthy team growth.


Moreover, it is important to be able to articulate mistakes. When working with a person, the emphasis should not be on the error as such but on the solution. For instance, something went wrong, and part of the code didn't work. Instead of focusing on the wrongness of some action, I reflect on my personal experience. That is, what I did when I faced such a problem, why my solution did not lead to the desired outcome, and what I tried to do differently. I also highlight the bonus of a certain decision since we can introduce an update besides mere fixing. That is to say, I depict my path from A to Z in living colors, and afterward, a person might want to follow it, or maybe do it even better.

As a leader, you can't have a problem with a teammate knowing more than you. Some managers are hostile toward superior employees. Driven by the fear of being replaced, managers tend to restrict such teammates, thus stealing a chance to prove themselves. This kind of reaction is mainly rooted in upbringing, growing up, and the process of formation as a person and a pro. In my opinion, the leader's task is to encourage and feed the teammates' sense of self-sufficiency to scale infinitely. Being a leader is not the pinnacle, there is always room for development. Seeing people evolve quickly inspires and pushes me to work on myself. Leaders always stay in tune: the growth of subordinates means you need to grow even faster to lead them.

Letting Go Of People As Well

Obviously, throughout my career path, I had to say goodbye a lot. The very conversation about dismissal is not as hard as deciding within yourself. Normally, the working process entails gripes and criticism since everyone is learning, and many skills and approaches need to be improved. The task of a leader is to give timely feedback, thereby fixing something and making things better.


I had a case when my tireless feedback did not change a thing. Time went by, bringing zero progress. I realized giving tasks made no sense, as the results were never there. In other words, distrust in a specialist is not cool. I felt it was my duty to do everything possible and impossible to trace the weak points, level them up, and put them on the right track. Each time I gave yet another last chance (that’s just me, I sincerely believed it would work out). But the person also made the decision — not to change whatsoever. Therefore, I had no other option but to let him go. To be completely honest, my conscience did not torment me because I knew I had done everything what was in my power.

But this scenario is applicable to a small team of 5-10 people. If you have a staff of 200 employees, the value of such a decision declines because you do not have constant communication with everyone. The larger the scaling, the fewer connections are personal, and it's much easier to accept less than 100% work. It's a business, and it's not worth it. You, as a leader and as a mentor, always want to reveal paths for development and tell about your own, but from a business perspective, it’s easier to just hire someone new, motivated, and inquisitive.

Mentorship As A Handshake Of Two Spirits

A mentor is someone easy to communicate with and interesting to be around outside of work. Mentoring is all about complete trust. You need to be able to admit a mistake, accept and own it, voice your concerns and not be afraid to sound silly. There should be no fear in expressing your thoughts — only absolute transparency. Of course, such contact presupposes mutuality. Magic will not happen if the mentee voices an opinion and the mentor sneers at it. Effective work with a mentor is based on empathy, which immediately makes it clear whether this is your mentor or someone else's.

Before joining my company, I had three offers in my hands, and all three interviews were scheduled for the same day. During the first one, I felt I was in charge because I asked dozens of questions, not the other way around. The second interview had nothing memorable, it was typical. At my current place of work, my interviewer helped me answer and finished some phrases for me. I was stunned because besides asking me, they also intended to teach me a little and explain some stuff. For me, it was a pretty good sign. I thought: if they wanted to make me one iota better after barely meeting me, then what would happen if I joined them? That feeling is priceless. In ten years, I've only experienced this twice.

The intent to help ascends to a certain corporate culture and the win-win philosophy established across the organization. There is a clear idea that giving a person everything and even more always yields a good result because that’s how cause and effect work in real life. I know many people who have advanced simply by being exposed to new things. Seniors became architects because they were inspired to approach the unknown.

A Couple Of Tips For The Newbies

First, do not be afraid of responsibility. You assume a role and are held accountable for the result, and people, by and large, do appreciate it. If everything goes well, you rise in the eyes of your teammates. And if not, your task then is to analyze, own your mistakes and draw conclusions. The second key point is leveling up communication skills. To evolve and develop others, a leader must be able to interact with people: understand the way of thinking, what plans and ambitions one has, and collect feedback. Soft skills will never lose their significance. And third, navigating the business. A technical lead knows exactly what the organization is aiming for and what its tasks are; works for the benefit of the business, and always take into account its requirements. And everything else depends on the team and the vibe of the company, which together form a leader’s home front.