Everything I Wished I Was Told At Twenty-One

Your twenties are the time when you get to make the future work for you. If you want to harvest lettuce, start preparing the bed and your seedlings now.

You are in the middle, or the beginning of designing what you want to do for work and life, and your forty-year-old aunts, uncles, and parents are probably looking at you with interest. You can’t bring your issues to them as often as before because, “Jasmine, you are an adult.”

This is an important decade of your life. It gets easier if you channel your energy to the right activities.

This article tries to help in a big way. Let’s get started.

“Do something that adds value to who you are. Do something that’s an investment in who you might want to be next.” - Meg Jay, author of The Defining Decade.

Things You Will Regret Not Doing in Your Twenties

1. Saving

You might be lucky to have landed a good job at this stage. Your expenses are pretty basic because you don’t have kids looking up to you yet.

Be wise with your expenses, though. One of the things you will regret not doing is not learning to manage money. You need to save or better if you can invest. You might not understand this well enough until you are nearing retirement.

Having parties and spending all your paycheck is fun. What’s more, fun is taking small lessons in financial literacy. Many of your mates are not. Subscribe to blogs that teach investment, and follow people that talk about legitimate investing. Read books too.

• Learn about passive incomes, side hustles, and how some things like networking can improve your net worth if done right.

2. Accepting your journey

Your life journey will not be the same with others. We don’t have it equal. That’s life.

Example: Jasmine is broke. On those days, she might see her friend’s posts about how they are living their best lives. While she’s trying to raise a hundred bucks, some are going to vacation in the Himalayas.

Solution:

• Embrace your journey. Your joblessness will be temporary if you keep moving or taking action in the right direction.
• Remember the last points discussed above when you eventually start making money again.

3. Travel

When you turn 40, likely, one of the things you regret not doing in your 20s is not traveling. You will wish you had traveled more once you start having kids and bills (if you are willing to get married).

Our world is so blessed that you should explore its beauty. The different lifestyle you will experience by taking an hour’s flight from your current location might amaze you. Before you settle to living in one place for the rest of your life, you will want to have traveled.

Solution:

• Use your vacation period wisely. You might start with places that are near you for a start. Maybe take a road trip to the part of the country you have wished to go to.

4. Don’t Be Afraid of Risk

What are you afraid of at the moment? In your 40s, you will laugh at many of them. You will realize how pointless to have held to that fear for too long.

Success in life demands that you take calculated risks some of the time and expect the best result or the lessons that come with it. If you are not taking risks now, you will have to in the long run.

Think about it. What if you get the life you want by trying?

Solution:

• Calculate the level of risks involved. Sit down and calculate it like you are in math class. What could go wrong? Compare your answer with what could go right. You will realize you are the worst isn’t that bad, and the best can be so great in your life.
• Still not sure how to face your fears? Seek evidence of your fears. Are you afraid of flight? Look for hardcore facts about the possibility of accidents. Does that help?

5. Staying healthy

Everything you are consuming right now and putting your body through are investments in your body. As you age, you will see the results of these decisions.

You need to eat well and do exercise. For how long? You might ask. Well, from now till you are old. You need to start in your 20s, though, because you can’t work out later like the way you can in your 20s. So, hit it right now.

Solution:

• You don’t want to grow up to be the guy with bad knees when you have just turned 40. Perform regular exercise. Ride bikes. Run a marathon. Keep your body healthy and fit; it rewards you with a life of possibilities.

Come to Terms With the Following Truths:

You might be preparing for adulthood wrongly if you haven’t come to terms with any of the items below.

1. Some people will have a different perception of you.

The first thing on how to live your 20s to the fullest or to prepare for adulthood is acceptance of your reality. Some will say you are too tall, too dark, too light, too talkative. If you listen and start changing your habits, will you change again if another set of people tells you something different?

Satisfying people’s perceptions is a long, endless road.

2. Rejections are normal

Answer this as honestly as possible. Have you rejected something before? Does that make you a bad person?

Rejection is part of life.

3. Waiting for the right opportunity is a myth.

Yes, your dream job can land on your lap when you sit in your room playing “God of War.” Your prince charming might knock on your bedroom and propose at the foot of your mattress. But this is more likely to happen in your head than in real life.

Opportunity meets those who are searching for it.

Move.

4. Arguing is not fighting.

If you have to hit someone or insult them before they see your points, you need to work on your personality or stop arguing with the person.

Those who want to fight to communicate their arguments are likely not listening to your views. You need to leave or shut up. You might need to reconsider some relationships if most of your arguments lead to fights.

5. People can not and should not be defined by their color, education, or background.

The world is so diverse, and the one thing unifying us is that we are all humans irrespective of color, background, or education. Our diversity is beautiful. It gives room for exploration of the diversities, creativity, beautiful cultures, etc.

Treat people with respect. You want to listen and understand points from their perspective before making remarks.

6. Life is short

A while ago, you were in high school. If you go back a little more than that, you remember your time in kindergarten. My, how times fly!

Your parents are probably watching you and remembering how it used to feel being twenty-something. Very soon — sooner than you think — you will be in their shoes.

Enjoy your life. Do the thing that has meaning to you.

7. Read

There are many places you can never go, many lives you can never have lived. But to wonder and enjoy what life can be if you are presented with different realities is something you must learn. Reading can help you do that. It can help you avoid many mistakes people ahead of you have made.

Read.

Read both fiction and non-fiction.

8. You need people

Look at the story of every talented or richest, or bravest person you have read. There is someone in their lives who made that happen. It could be a coach (like Pep Guardiola and Lionel Messi). Someone who took a chance on their idea (like Bloomsbury and J. K Rowling). You have to consistently put yourself and your best ideas out there. Do it repeatedly. Meet like-minded people and keep doing that. (Please, learn how to be a good friend. I will recommend 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.)

Books to Read in Your Twenties

You need a lot of people’s skills, discipline, and how to handle money, so I will recommend:

• “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”
• “Atomic Habits”
• “Almanac of Naval”

The Lies We Were Told About Adulthood, and What Should You Focus on in Your 20s

1. Following your passion is easy/ the right career will not stress you.

You need to understand this is a lie on how to live your life to the fullest.

Maybe they tell you to change careers so that it will be easier there. They might be right. But what they mean by “easier” is that you might find a job whose stress you enjoy.

No matter your calling or career path, there will be aspects of the job that stress the hell out of you.

2. They live happily ever after

No thanks to romance books and movies.

You should know this is a lie too. The boy you loved so much can be your worst enemy after marriage. And if you think that’s not possible? Go to a court during a trial of couples going through a divorce. You might wonder how they came together in the first place.

No, this doesn’t mean you should brace yourself for divorce. It means every relationship has its ups and downs. You have to be ready for it.

What to focus on:

Be ready to learn about flaws you don’t know you have. Learn to listen.

3. Work hard, and you will get rich.

You should know better by now. What makes you rich is often not directly related to hard work. It is more related to how many people you can serve at a time, leveraging and investing. You should work hard, but it will be hard to get rich without any of these three things.

What to focus on:

Learn about how money works. Meet new and smart people. Learn new skills.

4. You are an adult now, and you don’t need your parents.

You are the one telling yourself this particular lie. If you are in your twenties, you have just been here for only two decades. You need help with navigating life, and your parents are some of the people that can help.

(No, this advice is not for those who have issues with their parents.)

For a start, try to move out of your parent’s house. You are about to learn the truth about how much you need it costs to handle feeding, housing, transport, and electricity. And the first few years can be lonely until you find your footing.

When life gets overwhelming, you need your parents and someone to talk to.

What to focus on:

Talk to your parents if you feel overwhelmed. Give them some of your time too. They will not be here forever.

5. All you need to become great is a dream.

Hey, that’s not how it works. You stand a better chance to live your life to the fullest if you work, learn, and improve your identity capital than just dreaming. What can you learn now that will give you better chances of landing your dream job or living the life of your dream?

What to focus on:

Focus on learning new skills, improving your soft skills *such as communication and discipline), and growth.

6. You can be everything and anything.

Yes, this encourages you to work on things you love. If you love it, you should work on it.

However, don’t hold on to things for too long if reality teaches you to change plans. You can’t become certain things when you get to an age bracket. You can’t join a football academy at forty.

Live your 20s to the fullest by letting things go after you have given a good amount of effort.

What to focus on:

Be flexible. Stay open to opportunities. Wanting to be a rockstar doesn’t stop you from going to college or learning how to code.

If you’re in your thirties and reading this, what else would you like the younger generations --- twenty-one-year-olds --- to know?