Dear Startup Founders: Beware of Your Minions!

In the beginning, there was and would always be a startup founder — the Creator of the new business universe.

Besides being tough, entrepreneurial beginnings can be very lonely endeavors. You need a team for your new startup to survive and thrive. These people joining the founder, usually the Cs (CTO, CFO, COO, etc.), are the startup's "core." They have to wear more than one hat and take all the heat until catching the right startup beat.

Think of a startup as a tree that's growing and branching. New branches mean new people on board.

The Book of Startup Genesis

Let's get back quickly to the "core." At the very beginning, the startup creator (founder) is also the chooser. They choose who they're going to hire. At one point, someone else is going to do it for them. This is not a big deal when a startup is transitioning to a company. However, it can become the "thing" when a startup finds itself in deep corporate waters, usually during the IPO phase. The startup founders have a lot on their plate to micromanage, let alone worry about hiring or firing people.

Now, I feel it'd be the right moment to address the elephant in this article. What qualifies me to tackle this topic in the first place? Well, it's not the fact that I've tried and failed, but what came as the aftermath of my personal startup tryouts. I have lost count of how many entrepreneurs and startup founders hired me as a freelance content writer or growth marketer since 2011.

Some made it, and it's not my credit. Many failed, and it's not my fault.

I couldn't help but notice a pattern. Do you, by any chance, remember how Tolstoy's "Anna Karenina" begins? It's this line:

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

When it comes to startups, it's the exact opposite:

Unsuccessful startups are all alike; every successful startup is successful in its own way.

Somewhere along the way, startup founders have it too much, and they're out of touch with both people and operations at the lower levels. It's always been like this, nothing personal it's just business - ignorance is (not) bliss or an excuse.

These Are Just My Opinions - I Used To Be One of The Startup Minions

I've never had problems working with and for startup founders directly, not even remotely (both literally and figuratively regarding the last word of this line). But, with COOs and other "minions," it's been a completely different story. It's not fair that startup founders are unaware by default, but again, that's just the way business things are.

You have every right to criticize my (mis)use of the term "minions" in a startup concept. You can also label everything that you've read so far as hypothetical and abstract. So, let's bring some well-known real-life startup business examples. Shall we?

Do you want to sell sugared water for the rest of your life? Or do you want to come with me and change the world?

It's such a relief when you use a quote with no need to mention who said it because everybody knows it already. It's tricky to "minionize" a person who masterminded the legendary Apple "1984" commercial.

How it started...

I think of you just like Woz and Markkula. You're like one of the founders of the company. They founded the company, but you and I are founding the future. — Steve Jobs, to John Sculley, at the Macintosh introduction rehearsal in 1984

How it ended...

Sculley said in 2015 that Jobs never forgave him and their friendship was never repaired.

I don't know. I can only speculate. But, if the Pepsi guy had the audacity to axe the biggest apple on the Apple tree, I could only imagine what happened to the "low-hanging" fruits loyal to Steve Jobs.

Here's another one.

Justin Timberlake portrayed Sean Parker in "The Social Network." This guy sure thing knew how to throw memorable parties. Despite drawing, I mean doing some "lines," he and Zuckerberg stayed close (met regularly).

"In 2017, during an interview with Axios, Parker expressed concerns about the role of Facebook in society, saying that it "exploit[s] a vulnerability in human psychology" as it creates a "social-validation feedback loop". Parker stated that he was "something of a conscientious objector" to using social media."

So, my dear startup founders, do you know what your minions are doing while you aren't looking?