Content Aced

contentaced

Have you ever wondered how hard it would be to recreate a text editor like the one we use right here on Medium? If you haven’t seen Medium’s text editor, I would highly recommend checking it out. You are able to write, edit, and style your content (within Medium’s provided styles) right here in your browser. No tech knowledge is needed. No html tags appear in the text. Would you believe me if I said you’d need nothing more than vanilla JavaScript, CSS, and HTML? Take a look: An example of inline editable content with document.designMode Hopefully that example demonstrated a few things for you: You have two options. for the entire document, and for just one element. document.designMode element.contentEditable The browser gives us all the methods we need. Anything outside of is simply for demonstration purposes and error handling. document.execCommand The commands modify the HTML by adding new tags around our content. This allows us to use CSS to style those tags. So simple. The only “gotcha” is that you have to use if you trigger the command from a button click. Otherwise the focus will shift to the button and the command will fail. event.preventDefault(); If nothing is selected, the command will fail . (sometimes) If it serves your purposes better, you can also create editable content with HTML. <div contenteditable="true">  This text can be edited!</div> This could work nicely with frameworks like React, Angular, etc. Where you could use a component’s state to control if the content is editable. Using The Data Now, we have to be careful what we do with this. You have a few options here: Take the entire edited content, strip out anything dangerous (like JavaScript) and render what you are given, or you can come up with a system of grabbing the changed data individually. Either way you need to: Get the new text when it changes. Make sure the text is safe. Render back your entire HTML. Below you will find the same example above, but this time when you change the text there will be some information logged to the console. I am using the API to watch for these changes. MutationObserver So what did I do? I added an attribute to every element that I wanted to watch. You don’t have to do this, but it lets you hone in on specific editable items. If you do this, be careful not to turn on edit mode for tags you aren’t watching for changes. I inspected the mutations to find out if they contained the attributes I was looking for. If they did, I sent that element’s attribute name and new content to the output (in this case, the console). I think that’s pretty simple. For your purposes, you can replace the console with a backend service that saves the changes. You’ll want to make sure no dangerous JavaScript has been added, so that it doesn’t open you up to attacks. XSS Hi, I’m Justin Fuller. I’m so glad you read my post! I need to let you know that everything I’ve written here is my own opinion and is not intended to represent my employer in way. All code samples are my own, and are completely unrelated to Bank Of America’s code. any I’d also love to hear from you, please feel free to connect with me on , , or . Thanks again for reading! LinkedIn Github Medium

Easily create an HTML editor with DesignMode and ContentEditable

This is likely one of the most polemical issues we’ll find in the cypherpunk arena. Do you think murder is fine, under the right circumstances? At least we know that 54 countries think it’s a fair punishment for the most dangerous criminals. Jim Bell, a renowned crypto-anarchist, seems to think it’s justified against hated and corrupted political figures, and that’s how he came up with Assassination Politics (AP) —a would-be private assassination market. But let’s talk a bit about James Dalton Bell first. He was born in 1958 in Akron, Ohio (US), and later attended the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), where he earned a degree in chemistry. After graduating, he worked as an electrical engineer at Intel before starting his own company, SemiDisk Systems, in 1982, which specialized in computer storage devices. When the company closed in 1992, Bell developed a strong dislike for financial and tax issues —which would prove almost prophetical for him years later. Politically, he leaned toward anarcho-libertarian views and was involved with the Libertarian Party. His growing distrust of government led him to explore bold and controversial ideas, including the concept of a very unique prediction market. Assassination Politics This essay, published in 1996, outlines a controversial idea where people could anonymously contribute money to “predict” the death of specific government officials. It would function by leveraging encryption and digital cash to create a highly secure and anonymous prediction market. Participants would make predictions about the death of a listed target by submitting an encrypted guess, accompanied by a payment in digital cash. The prediction would be encrypted twice: the outer layer containing the digital cash is decrypted by the organization or administrators behind the market, while the inner layer, holding the prediction details, remains secure and known only to the predictor. If the prediction comes true, the predictor submits the decryption key, proving the accuracy of their guess, and receives the reward through an encrypted and untraceable digital cash transaction. Then, they can “gift” this reward to anyone —including an assassin. The entire process ensures that neither the organization nor any other party can trace the identity of the predictor or link it to the outcome, effectively safeguarding all parties involved from legal and investigative scrutiny. All of this was hypothetical, though. There wasn’t the proper technology for it back then. With the advent of smart contracts and cryptocurrencies, such a system could theoretically be implemented more securely today. A smart contract could automatically pay out a reward to someone who successfully predicts a specific event, like the death of a targeted official. The smart contract would ensure that no one needs to know who the predictor is, as the entire process would be automated and anonymous. A modern attempt to bring Bell’s idea to life was the Assassination Market, created by a pseudonymous figure known as Kuwabatake Sanjuro, but it wasn’t quite the same system, and not a prediction market at all. This platform allowed users to contribute bitcoins toward bounties on the heads of government officials. It’s unclear if it ever worked. Politics of Destruction The economics author Robert Murphy debated Bell’s proposal in his own essay, titled Politics of Destruction, published in 2002. Murphy argued that, despite its technological appeal, Assasination Politics is fundamentally flawed and impractical. His claims about administrators potentially pocketing funds or deceiving participants could be easily contented today with the existence of smart contracts and decentralized networks. However, Murphy also emphasizes the potential societal dangers of AP. If implemented, the system could lead to widespread violence, as it doesn’t limit targets to oppressive politicians but could be used against anyone, including ordinary individuals. This would create a chaotic environment where assassination becomes commonplace, undermining core values of property rights and personal safety that are crucial for a stable society —even for crypto-anarchists. In essence, Murphy contends that even if technical challenges were addressed, AP's ideological implications make it a perilous idea. He believes that its adoption could lead to the downfall of modern civilization and contradict the libertarian principles of a just and free society, as it would foster a world where violence and insecurity overshadow respect for individual rights. Bell’s Legal Saga As anyone could imagine, this essay put Bell on the radar of the authorities. Following an investigation by the US Internal Revenue Service (IRS) in 1997, Bell faced charges of tax evasion and misuse of Social Security numbers, leading to an 11-month prison sentence. After his release in 2000, Bell claimed widespread government corruption in his case, initiating a lawsuit in 2003, which triggered further legal complications. He was rearrested on charges of harassment and stalking of federal agents, resulting in a decade-long imprisonment. Bell's subsequent lawsuits alleged severe procedural misconduct by federal authorities. He accused the government of orchestrating an assault by a fellow inmate to intimidate him and claimed that court records were falsified to obstruct justice. Bell also protested the legality of surveillance measures, alleging that the government planted a GPS tracker on his car without proper warrants (which was proven right in the trial), violating his constitutional rights. His defense contended that these actions were part of a broader scheme to undermine his legal and civil liberties. Bell was eventually released in March 2012. All these issues haven’t stopped his AP activities however. In 2017, he announced the “Jim Bell Project” at the Paralelni Polis convention in Prague. He plans “to adopt a new [AP-like] system to completely eliminate all wars, all militaries, all taxes, and all government-sponsored violence,” with the help of worldwide volunteers and donors. Prediction Markets Assassination Politics was frequently discussed by cypherpunks, with mixed opinions. Trying to discern if this would be a good or a terrible idea could likely take a whole book, so we’ll leave it as food for thought. However, it’s important to note that prediction markets on decentralized platforms, like the one described by Bell, actually exist already. Even if the most common predictions don’t involve anyone’s death. Prediction markets in crypto are like online betting pools where people place bets on the outcomes of future events using cryptocurrency. Imagine a marketplace where you can wager on (non-deadly) things like election candidates, football results, or price breakthroughs. Participants buy and sell shares or tokens linked to different outcomes, and the prices of these shares reflect the collective predictions of the market. The idea is that the wisdom of the crowd can provide accurate forecasts, while the platform provides rewards to its users. Obyte, indeed, has its own decentralized prediction market based on bonding curves: Prophet. On this platform, participants are given options to bet on various event outcomes, such as Yes, No, or, for some events, Draw, each represented by a distinct token with an initial worth. These tokens can be traded, but their values fluctuate to reflect the changing probabilities as the event approaches and the market incorporates new information. In addition, users can also participate in liquidity mining. Common bets on Prophet include price predictions and football games, and the whole process eliminates middlemen. Maybe it’s not quite like what Bell had in mind, but we can still bet privately for a whole world of possibilities. Read more from Cypherpunks Write Code series:

Tim May & Crypto-anarchism
Wei Dai & B-money
Nick Szabo & Smart Contracts
Adam Back & Hashcash
Eric Hughes & Remailer
St Jude & Community Memory
Julian Assange & Wikileaks
Hal Finney & RPOW
John Gilmore & EFF
Satoshi Nakamoto & Bitcoin
Gregory Maxwell & Bitcoin Core
David Chaum & Ecash Featured Vector Image by Garry Killian / Freepik
Image of Jim Bell by All Hacking Cons / Paralelni Polis This is likely one of the most polemical issues we’ll find in the cypherpunk arena. Do you think murder is fine, under the right circumstances? At least we know that 54 countries think it’s a fair punishment for the most dangerous criminals. Jim Bell, a renowned crypto-anarchist, seems to think it’s justified against hated and corrupted political figures, and that’s how he came up with Assassination Politics (AP) —a would-be private assassination market. But let’s talk a bit about James Dalton Bell first. He was born in 1958 in Akron, Ohio (US), and later attended the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), where he earned a degree in chemistry . After graduating, he worked as an electrical engineer at Intel before starting his own company, SemiDisk Systems, in 1982, which specialized in computer storage devices. He was born in 1958 in Akron, Ohio (US), and later attended the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), where he earned a degree in chemistry When the company closed in 1992, Bell developed a strong dislike for financial and tax issues —which would prove almost prophetical for him years later. Politically, he leaned toward anarcho-libertarian views and was involved with the Libertarian Party. His growing distrust of government led him to explore bold and controversial ideas, including the concept of a very unique prediction market. Assassination Politics This essay, published in 1996, outlines a controversial idea where people could anonymously contribute money to “predict” the death of specific government officials. It would function by leveraging encryption and digital cash to create a highly secure and anonymous prediction market. Participants would make predictions about the death of a listed target by submitting an encrypted guess, accompanied by a payment in digital cash. This essay, published in 1996, outlines a controversial idea where people could anonymously contribute money to “predict” the death of specific government officials. The prediction would be encrypted twice: the outer layer containing the digital cash is decrypted by the organization or administrators behind the market, while the inner layer, holding the prediction details, remains secure and known only to the predictor. If the prediction comes true, the predictor submits the decryption key, proving the accuracy of their guess, and receives the reward through an encrypted and untraceable digital cash transaction. Then, they can “gift” this reward to anyone —including an assassin. The prediction The prediction The entire process ensures that neither the organization nor any other party can trace the identity of the predictor or link it to the outcome, effectively safeguarding all parties involved from legal and investigative scrutiny. All of this was hypothetical, though. There wasn’t the proper technology for it back then. With the advent of smart contracts and cryptocurrencies, such a system could theoretically be implemented more securely today. A smart contract could automatically pay out a reward to someone who successfully predicts a specific event, like the death of a targeted official. The smart contract would ensure that no one needs to know who the predictor is, as the entire process would be automated and anonymous. With the advent of smart contracts and cryptocurrencies, such a system could theoretically be implemented more securely today. A modern attempt to bring Bell’s idea to life was the Assassination Market , created by a pseudonymous figure known as Kuwabatake Sanjuro, but it wasn’t quite the same system, and not a prediction market at all. This platform allowed users to contribute bitcoins toward bounties on the heads of government officials. It’s unclear if it ever worked. Assassination Market Assassination Market Politics of Destruction The economics author Robert Murphy debated Bell’s proposal in his own essay, titled Politics of Destruction , published in 2002. Murphy argued that, despite its technological appeal, Assasination Politics is fundamentally flawed and impractical. His claims about administrators potentially pocketing funds or deceiving participants could be easily contented today with the existence of smart contracts and decentralized networks. Politics of Destruction Politics of Destruction However, Murphy also emphasizes the potential societal dangers of AP. If implemented, the system could lead to widespread violence, as it doesn’t limit targets to oppressive politicians but could be used against anyone, including ordinary individuals . This would create a chaotic environment where assassination becomes commonplace, undermining core values of property rights and personal safety that are crucial for a stable society —even for crypto-anarchists. If implemented, the system could lead to widespread violence, as it doesn’t limit targets to oppressive politicians but could be used against anyone, including ordinary individuals In essence, Murphy contends that even if technical challenges were addressed, AP's ideological implications make it a perilous idea. He believes that its adoption could lead to the downfall of modern civilization and contradict the libertarian principles of a just and free society, as it would foster a world where violence and insecurity overshadow respect for individual rights. Bell’s Legal Saga As anyone could imagine, this essay put Bell on the radar of the authorities. Following an investigation by the US Internal Revenue Service (IRS) in 1997, Bell faced charges of tax evasion and misuse of Social Security numbers, leading to an 11-month prison sentence. After his release in 2000, Bell claimed widespread government corruption in his case, initiating a lawsuit in 2003, which triggered further legal complications. He was rearrested on charges of harassment and stalking of federal agents, resulting in a decade-long imprisonment. Bell's subsequent lawsuits alleged severe procedural misconduct by federal authorities. He accused the government of orchestrating an assault by a fellow inmate to intimidate him and claimed that court records were falsified to obstruct justice. Bell also protested the legality of surveillance measures, alleging that the government planted a GPS tracker on his car without proper warrants (which was proven right in the trial), violating his constitutional rights. His defense contended that these actions were part of a broader scheme to undermine his legal and civil liberties. Bell's subsequent lawsuits alleged severe procedural misconduct by federal authorities. alleged alleged was proven right was proven right Bell was eventually released in March 2012. All these issues haven’t stopped his AP activities however. In 2017, he announced the “ Jim Bell Project ” at the Paralelni Polis convention in Prague. He plans “to adopt a new [AP-like] system to completely eliminate all wars, all militaries, all taxes, and all government-sponsored violence,” with the help of worldwide volunteers and donors. Jim Bell Project Jim Bell Project Prediction Markets Assassination Politics was frequently discussed by cypherpunks, with mixed opinions . Trying to discern if this would be a good or a terrible idea could likely take a whole book, so we’ll leave it as food for thought. However, it’s important to note that prediction markets on decentralized platforms, like the one described by Bell, actually exist already. Even if the most common predictions don’t involve anyone’s death. with mixed opinions with mixed opinions Prediction markets in crypto are like online betting pools where people place bets on the outcomes of future events using cryptocurrency. Imagine a marketplace where you can wager on (non-deadly) things like election candidates, football results, or price breakthroughs. Participants buy and sell shares or tokens linked to different outcomes, and the prices of these shares reflect the collective predictions of the market. The idea is that the wisdom of the crowd can provide accurate forecasts, while the platform provides rewards to its users. Prediction markets in crypto are like online betting pools where people place bets on the outcomes of future events using cryptocurrency. Obyte , indeed, has its own decentralized prediction market based on bonding curves: Prophet . On this platform, participants are given options to bet on various event outcomes, such as Yes, No, or, for some events, Draw, each represented by a distinct token with an initial worth. These tokens can be traded, but their values fluctuate to reflect the changing probabilities as the event approaches and the market incorporates new information. In addition, users can also participate in liquidity mining. Obyte Obyte Prophet Prophet Common bets on Prophet include price predictions and football games, and the whole process eliminates middlemen. Maybe it’s not quite like what Bell had in mind, but we can still bet privately for a whole world of possibilities. Read more from Cypherpunks Write Code series: Tim May & Crypto-anarchism
Wei Dai & B-money
Nick Szabo & Smart Contracts
Adam Back & Hashcash
Eric Hughes & Remailer
St Jude & Community Memory
Julian Assange & Wikileaks
Hal Finney & RPOW
John Gilmore & EFF
Satoshi Nakamoto & Bitcoin
Gregory Maxwell & Bitcoin Core
David Chaum & Ecash Read more from Cypherpunks Write Code series: Tim May & Crypto-anarchism Wei Dai & B-money Nick Szabo & Smart Contracts Adam Back & Hashcash Eric Hughes & Remailer St Jude & Community Memory Julian Assange & Wikileaks Hal Finney & RPOW John Gilmore & EFF Satoshi Nakamoto & Bitcoin Gregory Maxwell & Bitcoin Core David Chaum & Ecash Tim May & Crypto-anarchism Tim May & Crypto-anarchism Tim May & Crypto-anarchism Tim May & Crypto-anarchism Wei Dai & B-money Wei Dai & B-money Wei Dai & B-money Wei Dai & B-money Nick Szabo & Smart Contracts Nick Szabo & Smart Contracts Nick Szabo & Smart Contracts Nick Szabo & Smart Contracts Adam Back & Hashcash Adam Back & Hashcash Adam Back & Hashcash Adam Back & Hashcash Eric Hughes & Remailer Eric Hughes & Remailer Eric Hughes & Remailer Eric Hughes & Remailer St Jude & Community Memory St Jude & Community Memory St Jude & Community Memory St Jude & Community Memory Julian Assange & Wikileaks Julian Assange & Wikileaks Julian Assange & Wikileaks Julian Assange & Wikileaks Hal Finney & RPOW Hal Finney & RPOW Hal Finney & RPOW Hal Finney & RPOW John Gilmore & EFF John Gilmore & EFF John Gilmore & EFF John Gilmore & EFF Satoshi Nakamoto & Bitcoin Satoshi Nakamoto & Bitcoin Satoshi Nakamoto & Bitcoin Satoshi Nakamoto & Bitcoin Gregory Maxwell & Bitcoin Core Gregory Maxwell & Bitcoin Core Gregory Maxwell & Bitcoin Core Gregory Maxwell & Bitcoin Core David Chaum & Ecash David Chaum & Ecash David Chaum & Ecash Featured Vector Image by Garry Killian / Freepik Image of Jim Bell by All Hacking Cons / Paralelni Polis Featured Vector Image by Garry Killian / Freepik Freepik Freepik Image of Jim Bell by All Hacking Cons / Paralelni Polis All Hacking Cons All Hacking Cons

Cypherpunks Write Code: Jim Bell & Assassination Politics

Шыфрапанкі пішуць код: Джым Бэл і палітыка забойстваў

Cypherpunks пишат код: Jim Bell & Assassination Politics

Los cypherpunks escriben código: Jim Bell y la política del asesinato

Cypherpunks-ը գրում է կոդը՝ Jim Bell & Assassination Politics

サイファーパンクはコードを書く: ジム・ベルと暗殺政治

„Cypherpunks“ rašo kodą: Jimas Bellas ir „Assassination Politics“.

Kod Tulis Cypherpunks: Jim Bell & Politik Pembunuhan

Cypherpunks skriver kod: Jim Bell & Assassination Politics

Cypherpunks Write Code: Jim Bell at Assassination Politics

密码朋克编写代码：吉姆·贝尔与暗杀政治

Coding Patterns Revealed 

HTML, a powerful markup language with a rich history in web development, contains a multitude of features that often remain in the shadows. These features have the potential to enhance your web development. Let's explore some of these intriguing features, shedding light on the hidden capabilities of ! HTML 1) Personalised downloads with the attribute download The attribute in HTML empowers developers to personalise downloaded file names, providing users with a more engaging and brand-oriented experience: download <a href="document.pdf" download="your-custom-name">Download PDF</a> This attribute allows users to download files with personalised names, enhancing the overall user experience. 2) Autofocus magic A subtle yet impactful feature, the attribute in HTML streamlines the user experience by automatically focusing on an input field when the page loads: autofocus <input type="text" autofocus /> This ensures that users' attention is directed to the relevant input field right from the start, enhancing the overall usability of your web page. 3) Unleash creativity with contenteditable HTML's attribute is a powerful tool for transforming any element into an editable canvas, enabling users to modify content on the fly: contenteditable <p contenteditable="true">Let the editing begin!</p> This feature is particularly valuable for building dynamic and interactive web applications that involve user-generated content, fostering a more engaging user experience. 4) Expandable sections with and details summary Crafting elegant and interactive expandable sections is effortless with the and elements: details summary <details>
  <summary>Click to reveal</summary>
  Hidden content goes here!
</details> This feature is an excellent choice for creating collapsible sections, offering a clean and organised layout for content-heavy web pages. 5) Ping for monitoring HTML introduces the ping attribute, allowing developers to enable pingback requests when a link is clicked. This is perfect for monitoring or tracking user engagement: <a href="https://example.com" ping="https://analytics.example.com">Visit Link</a> This initiates a brief HTTP POST request to the specified URL, providing valuable insights into user interactions and behavior. 6) Translation control with translate Multilingual websites benefit from HTML's attribute, enabling developers to specify whether an element's content should be translated or remain in its original language: translate <p translate="no">This stays untranslated</p> This granular control over translation is crucial for maintaining the integrity of content across diverse language settings. 7) Mysterious disappearances with hidden Conceal elements from prying eyes with the attribute: hidden <p>Visible text here.</p>
<p hidden>This text remains hidden.</p> This straightforward attribute is useful for dynamically hiding and revealing content based on user interactions or specific conditions. 8) Nested HTML with srcdoc The attribute in HTML allows developers to embed an entire HTML document within another: srcdoc <iframe srcdoc="<h1>Hello within a Hello!</h1>"></iframe> This powerful feature facilitates the creation of self-contained components or widgets within a web page, promoting modularity and reusability. 9) Spellcheck suppression Disable spell-checking on specific elements, particularly beneficial for specialised input fields: <textarea spellcheck="false"></textarea> This feature ensures that traditional spell-checking is omitted where it may not be applicable or desired. 10) Directional mastery with bdo HTML's element provides control over text direction, vital for languages that read from right to left: bdo <p>This text flows left-to-right.</p>
<p><bdo dir="rtl">But this gracefully shifts right-to-left.</bdo></p> Maintaining proper text directionality is essential for delivering a seamless reading experience across various linguistic contexts. 11) Enhance input experience with inputmode Specify the type of virtual keyboard to display on touch devices, optimising the user experience: <input type="text" inputmode="numeric" /> This feature ensures that the appropriate virtual keyboard is presented based on the expected input, enhancing usability on mobile devices. 12) attribute for text input autocapitalize The attribute controls whether text input should be automatically capitalised: autocapitalize <input type="text" autocapitalize="words" /> For example, setting the value to "words" means automatically capitalising the first character of each word, streamlining data input. 13) attribute for inert elements inert The attribute allows developers to make elements and their descendants inert, preventing user interaction: inert <div inert>
  This content is inert and cannot be interacted with.
</div> The attribute assists in controlling the interactivity of specific elements within your web page, offering more control over user interactions. inert Conclusion While this article may not cover all the lesser-known features of HTML, I hope it has introduced you to some new and exciting possibilities. Whether these facts are familiar to you or you stumbled upon something entirely surprising and valuable, I hope you found the insights intriguing.. If any of these insights caught your attention or if you have additional tips and tricks that you find very useful, please leave a comment! Keep exploring and discovering new ways to elevate your web development skills!

Unlocking HTML's Hidden Powers

Scientific American, Volume XXXVI., No. 8, February 24, 1877 by Various, is part of the HackerNoon Books Series. You can jump to any chapter in this book . Something to Do. here Something to Do. It is an old trick of despots, and a good one, to employ their subjects. Why? To keep them out of mischief, Employed men are most contented. There is no conspiracy. Men do not sit down and coolly proceed to concoct iniquity so long as there is plenty of pleasant and profitable employment for body and mind. Work drives off discontent, provided there is compensation in proportion to the amount of labor performed. There must be a stimulant. God never intended a man should sweat without eating of the fruits of his labor—reaping a reward—more than he intended the idle man should revel in plenty and grow gouty on luxuries. Industry is a great peacemaker—a mind-your-own-business citizen. Something to do renders the despairing good-natured and hopeful—stops the cry of the hungry, and promotes all virtue. The best men are the most industrious; the most wealthy work the hardest. They always find something to do. Do you ever wonder that men of wealth do not "retire" and enjoy their substance? We know some young men look forward with anticipation to the time of "retiring." It is doubtful if a man should ever retire from business as long as he lives. We think we know men who, were they to abandon business, would be ruined, not pecuniarily, but mentally—their lives would be shortened. God never intended man's mind should become dormant. It is governed by fixed laws. Those laws are imperative in their exactions. Something to do! "Oh, if I had something to do!" There are young men who sigh for it, yet one thing they can do—that is, seek for a job. Once found, provided it is an honest one, do not hesitate to perform it, even if it does not pay as well as you expected. About HackerNoon Book Series: We bring you the most important technical, scientific, and insightful public domain books. This book is part of the public domain. Various (2006). Scientific American, Volume XXXVI., No. 8, February 24, 1877. Urbana, Illinois: Project Gutenberg. Retrieved https://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/19406/pg19406-images.html This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at , located at www.gutenberg.org https://www.gutenberg.org/policy/license.html

Something to Do

Wives and Daughters by Elizabeth Cleghorn Gaskell, is part of the HackerNoon Books Series. You can jump to any chapter in this book . "OFF WITH THE OLD LOVE, AND ON WITH THE NEW." here CHAPTER LVI. "OFF WITH THE OLD LOVE, AND ON WITH THE NEW." The next morning saw Mrs. Gibson in a much more contented frame of mind. She had written and posted her letter, and the next thing was to keep Cynthia in what she called a reasonable state, or, in other words, to try and cajole her into docility. But it was so much labour lost. Cynthia had already received a letter from Mr. Henderson before she came down to breakfast,—a declaration of love, a proposal of marriage as clear as words could make it; together with an intimation that, unable to wait for the slow delays of the post, he was going to follow her down to Hollingford, and would arrive at the same time that she had done herself on the previous day. Cynthia said nothing about this letter to any one. She came late into the breakfast-room, after Mr. and Mrs. Gibson had finished the actual business of the meal; but her unpunctuality was quite accounted for by the fact that she had been travelling all the night before. Molly was not as yet strong enough to get up so early. Cynthia hardly spoke, and did not touch her food. Mr. Gibson went about his daily business, and Cynthia and her mother were left alone. "My dear," said Mrs. Gibson, "you are not eating your breakfast as you should do. I am afraid our meals seem very plain and homely to you after those in Hyde Park Street?" "No," said Cynthia; "I'm not hungry, that's all." "If we were as rich as your uncle, I should feel it to be both a duty and a pleasure to keep an elegant table; but limited means are a sad clog to one's wishes. I don't suppose that, work as he will, Mr. Gibson can earn more than he does at present; while the capabilities of the law are boundless. Lord Chancellor! Titles as well as fortune!" Cynthia was almost too much absorbed in her own reflections to reply, but she did say,—"Hundreds of briefless barristers. Take the other side, mamma." "Well; but I have noticed that many of these have private fortunes." "Perhaps. Mamma, I expect Mr. Henderson will come and call this morning." "Oh, my precious child! But how do you know? My darling Cynthia, am I to congratulate you?" "No! I suppose I must tell you. I have had a letter this morning from him, and he's coming down by the 'Umpire' to-day." "But he has offered? He surely must mean to offer, at any rate?" Cynthia played with her teaspoon before she replied; then she looked up, like one startled from a dream, and caught the echo of her mother's question. "Offered! yes, I suppose he has." "And you accept him? Say 'yes,' Cynthia, and make me happy!" "I shan't say 'yes' to make any one happy except myself, and the Russian scheme has great charms for me." She said this to plague her mother, and lessen Mrs. Gibson's exuberance of joy, it must be confessed; for her mind was pretty well made up. But it did not affect Mrs. Gibson, who affixed even less truth to it than there really was. The idea of a residence in a new, strange country, among new, strange people, was not without allurement to Cynthia. "You always look nice, dear; but don't you think you had better put on that pretty lilac silk?" "I shall not vary a thread or a shred from what I have got on now." "You dear, wilful creature! you know you always look lovely in whatever you put on." So, kissing her daughter, Mrs. Gibson left the room, intent on the lunch which should impress Mr. Henderson at once with an idea of family refinement. Cynthia went upstairs to Molly; she was inclined to tell her about Mr. Henderson, but she found it impossible to introduce the subject naturally, so she left it to time to reveal the future as gradually as it might. Molly was tired with a bad night; and her father, in his flying visit to his darling before going out, had advised her to stay upstairs for the greater part of the morning, and to keep quiet in her own room till after her early dinner, so Time had not a fair chance of telling her what he had in store in his budget. Mrs. Gibson sent an apology to Molly for not paying her her usual morning visit, and told Cynthia to give Mr. Henderson's probable coming as a reason for her occupation downstairs. But Cynthia did no such thing. She kissed Molly, and sate silently by her, holding her hand; till at length she jumped up, and said, "You shall be left alone now, little one. I want you to be very well and very bright this afternoon: so rest now." And Cynthia left her, and went to her own room, locked the door, and began to think. Some one was thinking about her at the same time, and it was not Mr. Henderson. Roger had heard from Mr. Gibson that Cynthia had come home, and he was resolving to go to her at once, and have one strong, manly attempt to overcome the obstacles whatever they might be—and of their nature he was not fully aware—that she had conjured up against the continuance of their relation to each other. He left his father—he left them all—and went off into the woods, to be alone until the time came when he might mount his horse and ride over to put his fate to the touch. He was as careful as ever not to interfere with the morning hours that were tabooed to him of old; but waiting was very hard work when he knew that she was so near, and the time so near at hand. Yet he rode slowly, compelling himself to quietness and patience when he was once really on the way to her. "Mrs. Gibson at home? Miss Kirkpatrick?" he asked of the servant, Maria, who opened the door. She was confused, but he did not notice it. "I think so—I'm not sure! Will you walk up into the drawing-room, sir? Miss Gibson is there, I know." So he went upstairs, all his nerves on the strain for the coming interview with Cynthia. It was either a relief or a disappointment, he was not sure which, to find only Molly in the room:—Molly, half lying on the couch in the bow-window which commanded the garden; draped in soft white drapery, very white herself, and a laced half-handkerchief tied over her head to save her from any ill effects of the air that blew in through the open window. He was so ready to speak to Cynthia that he hardly knew what to say to any one else. "I am afraid you are not so well," he said to Molly, who sat up to receive him, and who suddenly began to tremble with emotion. "I'm a little tired, that's all," said she; and then she was quite silent, hoping that he might go, and yet somehow wishing him to stay. But he took a chair and placed it near her, opposite to the window. He thought that surely Maria would tell Miss Kirkpatrick that she was wanted, and that at any moment he might hear her light quick footstep on the stairs. He felt he ought to talk, but he could not think of anything to say. The pink flush came out on Molly's cheeks; once or twice she was on the point of speaking, but again she thought better of it; and the pauses between their faint disjointed remarks became longer and longer. Suddenly, in one of these pauses, the merry murmur of distant happy voices in the garden came nearer and nearer; Molly looked more and more uneasy and flushed, and in spite of herself kept watching Roger's face. He could see over her into the garden. A sudden deep colour overspread him, as if his heart had sent its blood out coursing at full gallop. Cynthia and Mr. Henderson had come in sight; he eagerly talking to her as he bent forward to look into her face; she, her looks half averted in pretty shyness, was evidently coquetting about some flowers, which she either would not give, or would not take. Just then, for the lovers had emerged from the shrubbery into comparatively public life, Maria was seen approaching; apparently she had feminine tact enough to induce Cynthia to leave her present admirer, and to go a few steps to meet her to receive the whispered message that Mr. Roger Hamley was there, and wished to speak to her. Roger could see her startled gesture; she turned back to say something to Mr. Henderson before coming towards the house. Now Roger spoke to Molly—spoke hurriedly, spoke hoarsely. "Molly, tell me! Is it too late for me to speak to Cynthia? I came on purpose. Who is that man?" "Mr. Henderson. He only came to-day—but now he is her accepted lover. Oh, Roger, forgive me the pain!" "Tell her I have been, and am gone. Send out word to her. Don't let her be interrupted." And Roger ran downstairs at full speed, and Molly heard the passionate clang of the outer door. He had hardly left the house before Cynthia entered the room, pale and resolute. "Where is he?" she said, looking around, as if he might yet be hidden. "Gone!" said Molly, very faint. "Gone. Oh, what a relief! It seems to be my fate never to be off with the old lover before I am on with the new, and yet I did write as decidedly as I could. Why, Molly, what's the matter?" for now Molly had fainted away utterly. Cynthia flew to the bell, summoned Maria, water, salts, wine, anything; and as soon as Molly, gasping and miserable, became conscious again, she wrote a little pencil-note to Mr. Henderson, bidding him return to the "George," whence he had come in the morning, and saying that if he obeyed her at once, he might be allowed to call again in the evening, otherwise she would not see him till the next day. This she sent down by Maria, and the unlucky man never believed but that it was Miss Gibson's sudden indisposition in the first instance that had deprived him of his charmer's company. He comforted himself for the long solitary afternoon by writing to tell all his friends of his happiness, and amongst them uncle and aunt Kirkpatrick, who received his letter by the same post as that discreet epistle of Mrs. Gibson's, which she had carefully arranged to reveal as much as she wished, and no more. "Was he very terrible?" asked Cynthia, as she sate with Molly in the stillness of Mrs. Gibson's dressing-room. "Oh, Cynthia, it was such pain to see him, he suffered so!" "I don't like people of deep feelings," said Cynthia, pouting. "They don't suit me. Why couldn't he let me go without this fuss? I'm not worth his caring for!" "You have the happy gift of making people love you. Remember Mr. Preston,—he too wouldn't give up hope." "Now I won't have you classing Roger Hamley and Mr. Preston together in the same sentence. One was as much too bad for me as the other is too good. Now I hope that man in the garden is the ,—I'm that myself, for I don't think I'm vicious, and I know I'm not virtuous." juste milieu "Do you really like him enough to marry him?" asked Molly earnestly. "Do think, Cynthia. It won't do to go on throwing your lovers off; you give pain that I'm sure you do not mean to do,—that you cannot understand." "Perhaps I can't. I'm not offended. I never set up for what I am not, and I know I'm not constant. I've told Mr. Henderson so—" She stopped, blushing and smiling at the recollection. "You have! and what did he say?" "That he liked me just as I was; so you see he's fairly warned. Only he's a little afraid, I suppose,—for he wants me to be married very soon, almost directly, in fact. But I don't know if I shall give way,—you hardly saw him, Molly,—but he's coming again to-night, and mind, I'll never forgive you if you don't think him very charming. I believe I cared for him when he offered all those months ago, but I tried to think I didn't; only sometimes I really was so unhappy, I thought I must put an iron band round my heart to keep it from breaking, like the Faithful John of the German story,—do you remember, Molly?—how when his master came to his crown and his fortune and his lady-love, after innumerable trials and disgraces, and was driving away from the church where he'd been married in a coach and six, with Faithful John behind, the happy couple heard three great cracks in succession, and on inquiring, they were the iron-bands round his heart, that Faithful John had worn all during the time of his master's tribulation, to keep it from breaking." In the evening Mr. Henderson came. Molly had been very curious to see him; and when she saw him she was not sure whether she liked him or not. He was handsome, without being conceited; gentlemanly, without being foolishly fine. He talked easily, and never said a silly thing. He was perfectly well-appointed, yet never seemed to have given a thought to his dress. He was good-tempered and kind; not without some of the cheerful flippancy of repartee which belonged to his age and profession, and which his age and profession are apt to take for wit. But he wanted something in Molly's eyes—at any rate, in this first interview, and in her heart of hearts she thought him rather commonplace. But of course she said nothing of this to Cynthia, who was evidently as happy as she could be. Mrs. Gibson, too, was in the seventh heaven of ecstasy, and spoke but little; but what she did say, expressed the highest sentiments in the finest language. Mr. Gibson was not with them for long, but while he was there he was evidently studying the unconscious Mr. Henderson with his dark penetrating eyes. Mr. Henderson behaved exactly as he ought to have done to everybody: respectful to Mr. Gibson, deferential to Mrs. Gibson, friendly to Molly, devoted to Cynthia. The next time Mr. Gibson found Molly alone, he began,—"Well! and how do you like the new relation that is to be?" "It's difficult to say. I think he's very nice in all his bits, but—rather dull on the whole." "I think him perfection," said Mr. Gibson, to Molly's surprise; but in an instant afterwards she saw that he had been speaking ironically. He went on. "I don't wonder she preferred him to Roger Hamley. Such scents! such gloves! And then his hair and his cravat!" "Now, papa, you're not fair. He is a great deal more than that. One could see that he had very good feeling; and he is very handsome, and very much attached to her." "So was Roger. However, I must confess I shall be only too glad to have her married. She's a girl who'll always have some love-affair on hand, and will always be apt to slip through a man's fingers if he doesn't look sharp; as I was saying to Roger—" "You have seen him, then, since he was here?" "Met him in the street." "How was he?" "I don't suppose he'd been going through the pleasantest thing in the world; but he'll get over it before long. He spoke with sense and resignation, and didn't say much about it; but one could see that he was feeling it pretty sharply. He's had three months to think it over, remember. The Squire, I should guess, is showing more indignation. He is boiling over, that any one should reject his son! The enormity of the sin never seems to have been apparent to him till now, when he sees how Roger is affected by it. Indeed, with the exception of myself, I don't know one reasonable father; eh, Molly?" Whatever else Mr. Henderson might be, he was an impatient lover; he wanted to marry Cynthia directly—next week—the week after; at any rate before the long vacation, so that they could go abroad at once. Trousseaux, and preliminary ceremonies, he gave to the winds. Mr. Gibson, generous as usual, called Cynthia aside a morning or two after her engagement, and put a hundred-pound note into her hands. "There! that's to pay your expenses to Russia and back. I hope you'll find your pupils obedient." To his surprise, and rather to his discomfiture, Cynthia threw her arms round his neck and kissed him. "You are the kindest person I know," said she; "and I don't know how to thank you in words." "If you tumble my shirt-collars again in that way, I'll charge you for the washing. Just now, too, when I'm trying so hard to be trim and elegant, like your Mr. Henderson." "But you do like him, don't you?" said Cynthia, pleadingly. "He does so like you." "Of course. We're all angels just now, and you're an arch-angel. I hope he'll wear as well as Roger." Cynthia looked grave. "That was a very silly affair," she said. "We were two as unsuitable people—" "It has ended, and that's enough. Besides, I've no more time to waste; and there's your smart young man coming here in all haste." Mr. and Mrs. Kirkpatrick sent all manner of congratulations; and Mrs. Gibson, in a private letter, assured Mrs. Kirkpatrick that her ill-timed confidence about Roger should be considered as quite private. For as soon as Mr. Henderson had made his appearance in Hollingford, she had written a second letter, entreating them not to allude to anything she might have said in her first; which she said was written in such excitement on discovering the real state of her daughter's affections, that she had hardly known what she had said, and had exaggerated some things, and misunderstood others: all that she did know now was, that Mr. Henderson had just proposed to Cynthia, and was accepted, and that they were as happy as the day was long, and ("excuse the vanity of a mother,") made a most lovely couple. So Mr. and Mrs. Kirkpatrick wrote back an equally agreeable letter, praising Mr. Henderson, admiring Cynthia, and generally congratulatory; insisting into the bargain that the marriage should take place from their house in Hyde Park Street, and that Mr. and Mrs. Gibson and Molly should all come up and pay them a visit. There was a little postscript at the end. "Surely you do not mean the famous traveller, Hamley, about whose discoveries all our scientific men are so much excited. You speak of him as a young Hamley, who went to Africa. Answer this question, pray, for Helen is most anxious to know." This P.S. being in Helen's handwriting. In her exultation at the general success of everything, and desire for sympathy, Mrs. Gibson read parts of this letter to Molly; the postscript among the rest. It made a deeper impression on Molly than even the proposed kindness of the visit to London. There were some family consultations; but the end of them all was that the Kirkpatrick invitation was accepted. There were many small reasons for this, which were openly acknowledged; but there was one general and unspoken wish to have the ceremony performed out of the immediate neighbourhood of the two men whom Cynthia had previously—rejected; that was the word now to be applied to her treatment of them. So Molly was ordered and enjoined and entreated to become strong as soon as possible, in order that her health might not prevent her attending the marriage; Mr. Gibson himself, though he thought it his duty to damp the exultant anticipations of his wife and her daughter, being not at all averse to the prospect of going to London, and seeing half-a-dozen old friends, and many scientific exhibitions, independently of the very fair amount of liking which he had for his host, Mr. Kirkpatrick himself. About HackerNoon Book Series: We bring you the most important technical, scientific, and insightful public domain books. This book is part of the public domain. Elizabeth Cleghorn Gaskell (2003). Wives and Daughters. Urbana, Illinois: Project Gutenberg. Retrieved https://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/4274/pg4274-images.html This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at , located at . www.gutenberg.org https://www.gutenberg.org/policy/license.html

"OFF WITH THE OLD LOVE, AND ON WITH THE NEW."

MRS. HURTLE'S FATE

THE LIFE OF LEONARDO DA VINCI.

Phineas attended Parliament with fair average punctuality

Mark Twain's Speeches by Mark Twain, is part of the HackerNoon Books Series. You can jump to any chapter in this book . SEVENTIETH BIRTHDAY here SEVENTIETH BIRTHDAY ADDRESS AT A DINNER GIVEN BY COLONEL GEORGE HARVEY AT
          DELMONICO’S, DECEMBER 5, 1905, TO CELEBRATE THE SEVENTIETH
          ANNIVERSARY OF MR. CLEMENS’ BIRTH

          Mr. Howells introduced Mr. Clemens:

          “Now, ladies and gentlemen, and Colonel Harvey, I will try not
          to be greedy on your behalf in wishing the health of our
          honored and, in view of his great age, our revered guest.  I
          will not say, ‘Oh King, live forever!’ but ‘Oh King, live as
          long as you like!’” [Amid great applause and waving of napkins
          all rise and drink to Mark Twain.] Well, if I made that joke, it is the best one I ever made, and it is in the prettiest language, too.—I never can get quite to that height. But I appreciate that joke, and I shall remember it—and I shall use it when occasion requires. I have had a great many birthdays in my time. I remember the first one very well, and I always think of it with indignation; everything was so crude, unaesthetic, primeval. Nothing like this at all. No proper appreciative preparation made; nothing really ready. Now, for a person born with high and delicate instincts—why, even the cradle wasn’t whitewashed—nothing ready at all. I hadn’t any hair, I hadn’t any teeth, I hadn’t any clothes, I had to go to my first banquet just like that. Well, everybody came swarming in. It was the merest little bit of a village—hardly that, just a little hamlet, in the backwoods of Missouri, where nothing ever happened, and the people were all interested, and they all came; they looked me over to see if there was anything fresh in my line. Why, nothing ever happened in that village—I—why, I was the only thing that had really happened there for months and months and months; and although I say it myself that shouldn’t, I came the nearest to being a real event that had happened in that village in more than two years. Well, those people came, they came with that curiosity which is so provincial, with that frankness which also is so provincial, and they examined me all around and gave their opinion. Nobody asked them, and I shouldn’t have minded if anybody had paid me a compliment, but nobody did. Their opinions were all just green with prejudice, and I feel those opinions to this day. Well, I stood that as long as—well, you know I was born courteous, and I stood it to the limit. I stood it an hour, and then the worm turned. I was the worm; it was my turn to turn, and I turned. I knew very well the strength of my position; I knew that I was the only spotlessly pure and innocent person in that whole town, and I came out and said so: And they could not say a word. It was so true: They blushed; they were embarrassed. Well, that was the first after-dinner speech I ever made: I think it was after dinner. It’s a long stretch between that first birthday speech and this one. That was my cradle-song; and this is my swan-song, I suppose. I am used to swan-songs; I have sung them several times. This is my seventieth birthday, and I wonder if you all rise to the size of that proposition, realizing all the significance of that phrase, seventieth birthday. The seventieth birthday! It is the time of life when you arrive at a new and awful dignity; when you may throw aside the decent reserves which have oppressed you for a generation and stand unafraid and unabashed upon your seven-terraced summit and look down and teach—unrebuked. You can tell the world how you got there. It is what they all do. You shall never get tired of telling by what delicate arts and deep moralities you climbed up to that great place. You will explain the process and dwell on the particulars with senile rapture. I have been anxious to explain my own system this long time, and now at last I have the right. I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else. It sounds like an exaggeration, but that is really the common rule for attaining to old age. When we examine the programme of any of these garrulous old people we always find that the habits which have preserved them would have decayed us; that the way of life which enabled them to live upon the property of their heirs so long, as Mr. Choate says, would have put us out of commission ahead of time. I will offer here, as a sound maxim, this: That we can’t reach old age by another man’s road. I will now teach, offering my way of life to whomsoever desires to commit suicide by the scheme which has enabled me to beat the doctor and the hangman for seventy years. Some of the details may sound untrue, but they are not. I am not here to deceive; I am here to teach. We have no permanent habits until we are forty. Then they begin to harden, presently they petrify, then business begins. Since forty I have been regular about going to bed and getting up—and that is one of the main things. I have made it a rule to go to bed when there wasn’t anybody left to sit up with; and I have made it a rule to get up when I had to. This has resulted in an unswerving regularity of irregularity. It has saved me sound, but it would injure another person. In the matter of diet—which is another main thing—I have been persistently strict in sticking to the things which didn’t agree with me until one or the other of us got the best of it. Until lately I got the best of it myself. But last spring I stopped frolicking with mince-pie after midnight; up to then I had always believed it wasn’t loaded. For thirty years I have taken coffee and bread at eight in the morning, and no bite nor sup until seven-thirty in the evening. Eleven hours. That is all right for me, and is wholesome, because I have never had a headache in my life, but headachy people would not reach seventy comfortably by that road, and they would be foolish to try it. And I wish to urge upon you this—which I think is wisdom—that if you find you can’t make seventy by any but an uncomfortable road, don’t you go. When they take off the Pullman and retire you to the rancid smoker, put on your things, count your checks, and get out at the first way station where there’s a cemetery. I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time. I have no other restriction as regards smoking. I do not know just when I began to smoke, I only know that it was in my father’s lifetime, and that I was discreet. He passed from this life early in 1847, when I was a shade past eleven; ever since then I have smoked publicly. As an example to others, and—not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake. It is a good rule. I mean, for me; but some of you know quite well that it wouldn’t answer for everybody that’s trying to get to be seventy. I smoke in bed until I have to go to sleep; I wake up in the night, sometimes once, sometimes twice; sometimes three times, and I never waste any of these opportunities to smoke. This habit is so old and dear and precious to me that I would feel as you, sir, would feel if you should lose the only moral you’ve got—meaning the chairman—if you’ve got one: I am making no charges: I will grant, here, that I have stopped smoking now and then, for a few months at a time, but it was not on principle, it was only to show off; it was to pulverize those critics who said I was a slave to my habits and couldn’t break my bonds. To-day it is all of sixty years since I began to smoke the limit. I have never bought cigars with life-belts around them. I early found that those were too expensive for me: I have always bought cheap cigars—reasonably cheap, at any rate. Sixty years ago they cost me four dollars a barrel, but my taste has improved, latterly, and I pay seven, now. Six or seven. Seven, I think. Yes; it’s seven. But that includes the barrel. I often have smoking-parties at my house; but the people that come have always just taken the pledge. I wonder why that is? As for drinking, I have no rule about that. When the others drink I like to help; otherwise I remain dry, by habit and preference. This dryness does not hurt me, but it could easily hurt you, because you are different. You let it alone. Since I was seven years old I have seldom taken a dose of medicine, and have still seldomer needed one. But up to seven I lived exclusively on allopathic medicines. Not that I needed them, for I don’t think I did; it was for economy; my father took a drug-store for a debt, and it made cod-liver oil cheaper than the other breakfast foods. We had nine barrels of it, and it lasted me seven years. Then I was weaned. The rest of the family had to get along with rhubarb and ipecac and such things, because I was the pet. I was the first Standard Oil Trust. I had it all. By the time the drugstore was exhausted my health was established, and there has never been much the matter with me since. But you know very well it would be foolish for the average child to start for seventy on that basis. It happened to be just the thing for me, but that was merely an accident; it couldn’t happen again in a century. I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any. Exercise is loathsome. And it cannot be any benefit when you are tired; and I was always tired. But let another person try my way, and see where he will come out. I desire now to repeat and emphasise that maxim: We can’t reach old age by another man’s road. My habits protect my life, but they would assassinate you. I have lived a severely moral life. But it would be a mistake for other people to try that, or for me to recommend it. Very few would succeed: you have to have a perfectly colossal stock of morals; and you can’t get them on a margin; you have to have the whole thing, and put them in your box. Morals are an acquirement—like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis—no man is born with them. I wasn’t myself, I started poor. I hadn’t a single moral. There is hardly a man in this house that is poorer than I was then. Yes, I started like that—the world before me, not a moral in the slot. Not even an insurance moral. I can remember the first one I ever got. I can remember the landscape, the weather, the—I can remember how everything looked. It was an old moral, an old second-hand moral, all out of repair, and didn’t fit, anyway. But if you are careful with a thing like that, and keep it in a dry place, and save it for processions, and Chautauquas, and World’s Fairs, and so on, and disinfect it now and then, and give it a fresh coat of whitewash once in a while, you will be surprised to see how well she will last and how long she will keep sweet, or at least inoffensive. When I got that mouldy old moral, she had stopped growing, because she hadn’t any exercise; but I worked her hard, I worked her Sundays and all. Under this cultivation she waxed in might and stature beyond belief, and served me well and was my pride and joy for sixty-three years; then she got to associating with insurance presidents, and lost flesh and character, and was a sorrow to look at and no longer competent for business. She was a great loss to me. Yet not all loss. I sold her—ah, pathetic skeleton, as she was—I sold her to Leopold, the pirate King of Belgium; he sold her to our Metropolitan Museum, and it was very glad to get her, for without a rag on, she stands 57 feet long and 16 feet high, and they think she’s a brontosaur. Well, she looks it. They believe it will take nineteen geological periods to breed her match. Morals are of inestimable value, for every man is born crammed with sin microbes, and the only thing that can extirpate these sin microbes is morals. Now you take a sterilized Christian—I mean, you take the sterilized Christian, for there’s only one. Dear sir, I wish you wouldn’t look at me like that. Threescore years and ten! It is the Scriptural statute of limitations. After that, you owe no active duties; for you the strenuous life is over. You are a time-expired man, to use Kipling’s military phrase: You have served your term, well or less well, and you are mustered out. You are become an honorary member of the republic, you are emancipated, compulsions are not for you, nor any bugle-call but “lights out.” You pay the time-worn duty bills if you choose, or decline if you prefer—and without prejudice—for they are not legally collectable. The previous-engagement plea, which in forty years has cost you so many twinges, you can lay aside forever; on this side of the grave you will never need it again. If you shrink at thought of night, and winter, and the late home-coming from the banquet and the lights and the laughter through the deserted streets—a desolation which would not remind you now, as for a generation it did, that your friends are sleeping, and you must creep in a-tiptoe and not disturb them, but would only remind you that you need not tiptoe, you can never disturb them more—if you shrink at thought of these things, you need only reply, “Your invitation honors me, and pleases me because you still keep me in your remembrance, but I am seventy; seventy, and would nestle in the chimney-corner, and smoke my pipe, and read my book, and take my rest, wishing you well in all affection; and that when you in your return shall arrive at pier No. 70 you may step aboard your waiting ship with a reconciled spirit, and lay your course toward the sinking sun with a contented heart.” About HackerNoon Book Series: We bring you the most important technical, scientific, and insightful public domain books. This book is part of the public domain. Mark Twain (2004). Mark Twain's Speeches. Urbana, Illinois: Project Gutenberg. Retrieved October 2022 https://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/3188/pg3188-images.html This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at , located at . www.gutenberg.org https://www.gutenberg.org/policy/license.html

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