I was scrolling through 4chan as I usually do for investment advice. It’s the premier source of cryptocurrency investment information, after all. They kept shilling this coin, the Chuck E. Cheese token, ran by an anonymous developer team with animal avatars (I guess they’re furries or something; I don’t judge). So of course, as I do with anything they promote, I threw a few hundred thousand dollars into the ICO and did some research a few weeks after spending all of my money. I was not that impressed with what I found out.
Advisors: They said they had this guy named Vitalik Buterin as their advisor. I’ve never heard of him — and I think I’ve heard of pretty much everyone important — so I figured I’d Google the no-name guy. I found his Twitter account, @vitalykbootering, and he at least seems like a pretty generous guy. He said he’d give me 0.35–0.52 ETH if I send him 0.019–0.042 ETH first. I’m still waiting on him to send me the ETH back though, so hopefully that’ll come through soon.
Centralization: It seems like a single Chinese manufacturing plant is in control of the entire token supply. I guess it’s similar to Bitcoin Cash, so maybe it’ll be on Coinbase soon.
Social media: They have a decent presence on social media, and do not make excessive partnership announcements. However, they seem to direct all of their marketing towards children, which is pretty creepy. I’m sure I’m now on some government watchlist for investing in this, but gains are gains.
Tokenomics: There is a strong reason to hold onto the tokens because of a unique staking process. In exchange for performing some simple useful work, you receive Tickets™ which can be exchanged for useful things like lava lamps. In the process one token is burned.
Transaction times: As long as the other person is in the same room as you, their token has almost instant transactions with zero fees. I was very impressed with this, and I think that this makes the token a strong competitor against NANO.
Website design: Their website used the particles.js floating graph things, so I know they must have a strong grasp of graph theory, distributed systems, and game theory. As the main focus of their informational website, the floating particles give me a sense of safety that no whitepaper or use-case ever could.
Ultimately, I’ll just have to see how this performs on the market once the ICO is over. I just sent the Chuck E. Cheese team my private key, home address, fingerprints, driver’s license, mother’s maiden name, favorite restaurant, former pet names, average time to move the puzzle piece on Binance, and social security number, for their KYC process, so I expect some updated information soon. I guess I should probably start making some Reddit posts for their bounty program to get others excited about this great opportunity.
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