Pick an emotion. Any emotion. Not clumsy categories like “fear” and “joy.” Choose the half-breath between hearing behind you that which would kill you and the moment when your mind names what your body knows. Refine to its most perfect shade the feeling of splashing into a pool on the first hot day of summer, not the jumping nor the sinking nor the coming back to the surface but the singing of your skin in that interface moment between all the things. There’s no discipline of attention, no strength of philosophy that can make such an emotion persist long enough to be a perception instead of a memory. Even if the wilful chaos of your brain could be tamed, what then of raw neurochemical exhaustion, what of your synaptic patterns evolved not for their survival but yours? Emotions cannot be willed nor sustained by a brain that is not being coerced, sustained, pushed, and pulled around a narrow state by the benevolent dictatorship of overwhelming tech. Pick an . Any emotion. Choose the calm satisfaction of knowing you are buying the right things, living in the right place, paying for the right services. Decide the precise taste of your happiness and joy. Find the pitch and tone of your heart that will make you forever grateful for having made this choice: a feeling so perfectly yours you will never regret or want to leave behind. emotion Then click here to indicate that you have reviewed the terms and conditions, complete the subscription purchase, and wait 12 to 24 hours for your personalized implant to arrive. Satisfaction guaranteed (if that’s what you want). Also published here.

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