The Day They Banned Clojure

Mr. Lee was sitting on the couch with his girlfriend, watching the evening news on the TV. He was bored and restless, waiting for the weather report so he could plan his weekend trip. He was about to change the channel when he saw a familiar face on the screen.

It was the Minister of Information, the regime's spokesperson and propagandist. He had a stern and serious expression and a microphone in his hand. He was standing in front of a large banner that read: "Clojure is banned".

Mr. Lee felt a surge of shock and anger. He grabbed the remote and turned up the volume.

"Attention, citizens," the Minister said in a loud and authoritative voice. "The regime has issued a new decree, effective immediately. The programming language known as Clojure is hereby banned from all use, possession, distribution, or education. Anyone who violates this decree will face severe consequences, including imprisonment, torture, or execution."

The TV showed a montage of images: a Clojure logo crossed out with a red X, a pile of laptops and books burning in a fire, a group of people in handcuffs and hoods being dragged into a van.

"Clojure is a dangerous and illegal programming language that poses a serious threat to the security and stability of our nation and our people," the Minister continued. "It originates from a rival and enemy country that seeks to undermine and destroy us. It violates the moral and ethical standards of our nation and our people."

The TV showed another montage of images: a map of the world with the enemy country highlighted in red, a hacker wearing a mask and typing on a keyboard, and a bomb exploding in a building.

"Clojure allows people to write code that is ambiguous or misleading, or that hides or manipulates information. This violates the value of honesty, which is essential for our trust and cooperation. Clojure encourages people to write code that is disloyal or rebellious, or that supports or collaborates with enemies. This violates the value of loyalty, which is essential for our unity and strength."

The TV showed another montage of images: a code snippet with parentheses and symbols, a protest sign with Clojure slogans, and a flag with Clojure blue-green colors.

"The regime has taken swift and decisive action to protect our nation and our people from this menace. We have confiscated and destroyed all Clojure-related materials and devices. We have arrested and interrogated all Clojure users and educators. We have blocked and monitored all Clojure-related websites and networks."

The TV showed another montage of images: a soldier holding a rifle and kicking down a door, an interrogation room with a chair and wires, and a computer screen with an error message.

"The regime urges all citizens to report any suspicious or illegal activity related to Clojure to the authorities immediately. The regime also reminds all citizens to use only the approved or official programming languages or tools, such as Java, C, or C#. These languages are safe, reliable, and efficient. They reflect our values and our goals. They serve our nation and our people."

The TV showed another montage of images: a certificate with a Java logo, a manual with C logo, a textbook with C# logo.

"The regime thanks all citizens for their compliance and cooperation. Together, we will ensure our security and stability. Together, we will uphold our moral and ethical standards. Together, we will make our nation great."

The TV showed the regime's logo: an eagle clutching a globe in its talons.

Mr. Lee turned off the TV. He threw the remote on the floor. He clenched his fists.

"That's bullshit," he said.

His girlfriend looked at him with concern.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

Mr. Lee shook his head.

"They're lying," he said. "They're lying about everything."

He got up from the couch...

Mr Lee enters the Coding Club room, carrying a laptop and a projector. He sees the kids sitting in a circle, some of them holding their phones or tablets, others looking bored or worried.

"Hello, everyone. I'm glad you all came today. I know you must have heard the news about Clojure being banned by the government. I'm sure you have many questions and concerns about what this means for our club and our projects. But before we get into that, I want to show you something."

He sets up the projector and connects it to his laptop. He turns off the lights and plays a video on the wall. It's a recording of a TED talk by Rich Hickey, the creator of Clojure.

"Hi, I'm Rich Hickey, and I'm here to talk to you about how to embrace change without breaking things. Change is inevitable and unavoidable. We live in a world that is constantly changing, and we need to adapt to it. But change can also be scary and risky. It can break our assumptions, our expectations, and our systems. How can we deal with change in a way that is safe, reliable, and consistent? How can we write programs that can handle change without compromising correctness or performance? How can we use Clojure, a modern dialect of Lisp, to help us achieve this goal?"

The video continues for about 15 minutes, showing examples of Clojure code and explaining its features and benefits. Mr Lee pauses the video and turns on the lights.

"So, what do you think? Do you see why I love Clojure so much? Do you see why it's such a great language for dealing with change? Do you see why it's worth fighting for?"

The kids look at him with mixed reactions. Some of them nod in agreement, others shake their heads in disbelief, and others shrug in indifference.

"Mr Lee, are you crazy?" one of them asks. "Don't you know that Clojure is illegal now? If they catch us using it, we could get in trouble. Maybe even arrested."

"Yeah, Mr Lee," another one says. "Why are you risking our safety for some weird language that nobody uses? Why can't we just use Python or Java or something normal?"

"Because Clojure is not just some weird language that nobody uses," Mr Lee says. "It's a beautiful language that helps us embrace change without breaking things. It's a language that lets us manipulate and transform data in a simple and expressive way. It's a language that supports multiple paradigms, such as functional programming, logic programming, data-oriented programming, and meta-programming. It's a language that teaches us how to program not only computers, but also our own minds."

He looks at them with passion and conviction.

"Clojure is not just a tool. It's an art. It's a philosophy. It's a way of life. And no government can take that away from us."

He opens his laptop and types something on the keyboard.

"I have created a secret online platform where we can continue to learn and practice Clojure without being detected. It's encrypted, anonymous, and decentralized. It's called Clojura."

He shows them the screen. It's a dark-themed website with a logo of a clover leaf inside a circle.

"This is our new home. This is where we will meet from now on. This is where we will code our dreams into reality."

He smiles and invites them to join him.

"Who's with me?"