## The burnout

Yes, it's yet another developer writing an article about burnout. And although the others I’ve shared in the past have helpful tips, I wanted to take a different approach and highlight some other things.

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If you've been in software development for a while, you almost certainly know the feeling – the job you once loved is now impossible to even think of. When you're in this state of mind, you risk losing your job, relationships with family, friends, and most importantly, yourself.

## The past

I once had some sessions with a therapist, and the only exercise I remember looked something like this:

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* List all the things you consider essential in life. This could be "Buy a house", "Build a boat", or "Save millions from starvation".
* Prioritize these things in descending order starting from the most important.

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Back then, a natural thing for me was putting material values before my mental or physical health. And while it seems obvious now, it was a revelation that **without my health, I won't be able to achieve whatever I am trying to achieve**. So health should always go first in my list of priorities.

## The now

Now let's fast forward to 2022. Businesses and public speakers are pushing us to work harder, hustle, and never settle for what we have. There is also an IT-specific pattern – some companies are trying to claim you as a part of "The Family" to **manipulate you into feeling guilty about not working harder**. Everyone on [Twitte](https://hackernoon.com/company/twitter)r/I[nstagram](https://hackernoon.com/company/instagram) seems to be following along, and there’s no way to keep up.

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Beneath all this blaring, there is a simple me (and possibly you) trying to live a simple life and make my loved ones' lives a little bit better.

## The future

For me, burnout comes in cycles. Today you’re ok. A month from today – you’re exhausted. You took a vacation, and you’re back to ok. There must be a way out of this, right? I worked out the following three mantras, if you may, and I feel progress. Here they are:

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### 1. Social networks are useless

Seriously, did you see the [Social dilemma](https://www.thesocialdilemma.com/)? Can you feel you're addicted to your whatever-gram feed? It's very real – it's addictive and makes you feel worse.

### 2. Your job is not you

It's crucial to have something to do besides your work. If you're a programmer, find something as far as possible from programming. Climbing, longboarding, anything. Just not another pet project after work.

### 3. Your company is not your family

It's a common manipulative technique, as I mentioned earlier. If you don't believe me, take a look at [37signals](https://37signals.com/35/) value #35:

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> When companies say they're a family, it's a veiled way of demanding total sacrifice. Nights, weekends, whatever it takes for, you know, "the family". But great companies aren't fake families — they're allies of real families. They don't eat into people's personal time, they don't ask people to dial-in during vacations, and they don't push them to work Sundays to prep for the meeting on Monday.

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These folks really made an effort to derive their values, not copy-pasting them from Amazon. Take a look. Their 37 thoughts, or “signals”, as they call them, are up to a point.

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---

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It might still be hard for me to say “no” to overtime, to remember that my health is the priority. It’s all a process, and it’s better to start the process later than not to start at all.

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I hope it will help you too. Cheers.

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