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I use four strategies to give constructive feedback that leads to positive change.
Go in with the right mindset. What’s your goal with giving this feedback? Do you authentically want to help another or just make them feel bad? People will pick up the difference. Consider your goals before taking the next step.
Prevent Defensiveness. How does your body respond when you learn you’re about to receive feedback? It’s probably a fight or flight response. To prevent this in others, let your teammate know you’re going to give them feedback, then provide a moment of silence. This will give their body time to process the situation. I do this subtly by letting the person know then taking a talk to a more private spot.
Use SBIR. Frame your feedback using the SBIR method. Describe the Situation. Define the Behavior you observed. Explain the Impact of said behavior. Request a change.
Don’t Club People, Give them a Spade. Unspecific feedback is like getting clubbed with a wave of guilt. Instead, give the other person a spade of specific details. This tool will help them grow their garden of skills. I use this mental model to remind me of everything above.
I expand on each of these details and include a bunch of examples in this post.
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