I told my patient I would look up the information about the domestic violence shelter for her because she was afraid to access the website from home. I had to do this many times for many patients over the course of my career as a psychiatrist. Then perhaps in this case I would have had to escort her out of the building using a different route so that she would be able to escape her partner waiting for her in the waiting room.
I know that many women have this fear. They don't know as much about technology as their abusive partner, and they fear that the partner will find out they are trying to leave. I have had to act as a digital shield for my patients, searching for domestic violence shelters on their behalf because their own homes are technologically compromised. This is the ultimate struggle, a woman in survival mode should be focused on her physical escape, but she is instead paralyzed by the fear of a digital breadcrumb leading her abuser to her door.
Many technological advancements have been helpful to the world and made things easier, but in some ways, there is now a segment of the population that is dependent on those with technological know-how. And those people may feel pressured to comply with their partner because they know the partner has their personal data.
Many people struggle with technology and they may never admit this to me, but I know that their daily struggle leads to a loss of confidence in themselves and a loss of self efficacy. This loss of belief in themselves leads to grief and shame, especially because they feel they don’t have mastery over their environment and things they need to live. Feeling shameful and not being able to talk about it with anyone can mean that people stop trying to advocate for themselves. And this can happen to men as well as women. It can happen to anybody. If this is happening to you, it's not your fault.
Technology can make it very easy to harm others. While not inherently bad, technology might cause power imbalances in relationships. Lack of digital literacy can mean that one partner is dependent on another and cause an unhealthy power dynamic. When I was younger, this same situation happened to me. I don’t blame myself for not knowing something, being naive, or not understanding. What I gained was perspective that this is happening all the time in many couples or relationships and there really isn't a lot of help. Having a relationship that’s unhealthy is a huge problem for a person’s mental health. Digital illiteracy may be causing a lot of mental health problems, especially in relationships that don't feel equal.
When people are struggling with technology and we say, “Just figure it out,” we are really letting them and ourselves down. We are unintentionally building a world that favors power imbalances, while trapping the vulnerable in a state of permanent dependency. We must move beyond this assumption that everyone understands technology and recognize that every complex computer interface is a potential gatekeeper for someone’s who doesn't understand computers.
For those currently caught in a state of digital dependency, whether due to age, disability, or a power imbalance in a relationship, please know that your struggle is not a personal failure. It is the result of an environment that was not designed with your safety or your peace of mind first.
As we stand at this crossroads, we must choose to use technology not to automate people out of their own lives, but to amplify their humanity. A patient’s ability to navigate the digital world is now a vital sign of their health and their safety. If we do not address the hostility of this environment, we are not just failing to provide tech support; we are failing to protect the dignity that is a prerequisite for healing. It is time to treat digital literacy as a necessity, even a marker for health.