F*ck Centralized Stablecoins

Written by The Real Slim Satoshi | Published 2023/05/01
Tech Story Tags: crypto | stablecoin | usdc | usdt | dai | busd | ampleforth | cryptocurrency

TLDRYea, that’s right. F*ck them. Why you ask, Real Slim Satoshi? Well, thank you for your inquisitiveness.via the TL;DR App

Welcome to the breakdown. Welcome to the end of the road. We've got nowhere else to go - Rise Against

Yea, that’s right. F*ck them. Why you ask, Real Slim Satoshi? Well, thank you for your inquisitiveness.

I mean come on, how stupid are we? We are always shitting on the Fed for pumping and dumping money, and we are enabling centralized stablecoins?

Let’s not forget that Fed is probably one of the most complex regulated entities in the world. To be fair Papa Powell made some really solid moves recently. This will totally screw us in the short term, but likely save our asses in the long run.

Anyway, what about our favourite centralized top 10 stablecoins. Yes, I’m talking about - USDT, USDC and BUSD. I mean WTF is going on here.

USDT key points:

  • released by a private company Tether Limited Inc.

  • owned by the Hong Kong-based company iFinex Inc., which also owns the Bitfinex cryptocurrency exchange

  • 1:1 USD backed. Transparency FUD we all know about

  • Coinmarketcap ranking #3. Are we out of our God damn minds?

USDC key points:

  • issued by a consortium called Centre, which is a partnership between Circle and Coinbase. In Brian Amrstrong we trust?

  • USDC is governed by Centre. Centre is a membership-based consortium that is open to any entity that meets its membership criteria, including financial institutions, cryptocurrency exchanges, and blockchain-based projects. Since when does a decentralized crypto industry agree on this kinda governance? This is literally the crypto version of SWIFT.

  • if I’m being honest, USDC is probably not that evil and is probably one of the most useful stablecoins in the cryptoverse. Still centralized shit though.

  • Coinmarketcap ranking #5.

BUSD key points

  • don’t get me started on Changpeng Zhao. This f*cker took down the entire FTX industry with some tweets, copied the entire Ethereum blockchain to spin off BNB and made it a top 10 coin.
  • we shouldn’t be questioning the genius and copycat moves made by the Binance empire. BUT, should we be trusting them? Should we truly trust BUSD. Does it even work outside of BNB ecosystem or just tries to convert users to use the Binance Chain? Guess we will never know.
  • Coinmarketcap ranking #10.

Now, you must be thinking. Well, where do I store my gains when BTC pumps like a motherf*cka?

Good question. Honesty, at this point you don’t have much of a choice. One of the safest ways to lock your gains and get that 500% APY would be these popular stablecoins. The other safest alternative would be to store in fiat land (USD, Euro, Yen, etc). Ya, I know what a bummer.

Then what the f*ck was the point of this post. Idk, awareness maybe? Eat the dog food but know it’s dog food? Nonetheless, I’ll leave you with two of my favourite alternative decentralized stablecoin projects.

DAI, the real OG. Key points:

  • the real OG stable coin project of the cryptoverse.

  • ETH collateral, MakerDAO governance, DAI / SAI tokens. XOXO, what a beauty.

  • ya they f*cked up too. Remember Black Thursday?

Ampleforth (AMPL). Key points:

  • remember that free FORTH Governance tokens? Ya, there is more to that project than free tokens you idiots.
  • total algorithmic. Controlled by market participants dictating rebases every 24 hours. The issue that I mostly see with AMPL is that its value seldomly sits at $1 and fluctuates a lot. Thus, kinda hard to say it’s a stablecoin.

Building the future is not so easy, ok!? Remember, just f*cking opinions.


Also published here.


Written by The Real Slim Satoshi | Token money, memes and just fucking opinions.
Published by HackerNoon on 2023/05/01