Ikhaya Lomgwaqo Omude: Indaba Yokulahlekelwa, Ukufunda, kanye Nokuvuselelwa Kabusha - INGXENYE 3

Uhambo lokuzitholela wena luvamise ukusiholela ekubhekaneni namaqiniso angakhululekile mayelana nobudlelwano babantu nokubaluleka komuntu siqu. Njengoba sizulazula ebunzimeni bokuxhumana nobuwena, kufanele sifunde ukulinganisa ukunakekela abanye nokugcina umuzwa wethu siqu.

Ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwami, ngibone iphethini evamile eyeqa ubulili namasiko: ukuthambekela kokulahlekelwa ngokwethu lapho sifuna ukuvunyelwa nokwamukelwa. Leli phethini livame ukubonakala ebudlelwaneni lapho umuntu oyedwa enciphisa kancane kancane amaphupho akhe, izifiso, kanye nenhlalakahle emzamweni wokufakazela ukubaluleka kwabo ngokunikela okungapheli.

Nokho, ukuxhumana kweqiniso—kungaba ubungane, ezothando, noma ubudlelwano bomsebenzi—akuthuthuki ngokuzilahla kodwa ngokukhula nokuhloniphana. Izibopho ezihlala njalo ziyakhiwa phakathi kwabantu abagcina ubunikazi babo obuhlukile kuyilapho besekela ukuziphendukela kwemvelo komunye nomunye.

Cabangela indida yokubaluleka komuntu siqu: lapho siyekethisa kakhulu izimiso zethu eziyinhloko futhi silahla indlela yethu emzamweni wokujabulisa abanye, kulapho sibukela phansi khona zona kanye izimfanelo ezisenza sibe abalingani abafanelekayo kunoma ibuphi ubuhlobo. Imibono yethu ehlukile, izifiso, kanye nemingcele ayizona izithiyo ekuxhumaneni okunengqondo—kuyizithako ezibalulekile.

Ngiye ngafunda ukuthi ukuzihlonipha akubona ubugovu; kuyisisekelo okwakhiwe phezu kwaso bonke ubudlelwano obunempilo. Lapho silondoloza izindinganiso zethu zomuntu siqu, siphishekela imigomo yethu, futhi sihlonipha imingcele yethu, asibonisi nje ukuzithanda kodwa futhi siyabahlonipha abanye. Sikhombisa ukuthi siyabazisa ubuqiniso ngaphezu kokugunyazwa, into ebalulekile kunokwamukela okukha phezulu.

Indlela eya ekuxhumaneni kwangempela idinga isibindi—isibindi sokuma siqinile eqinisweni lethu, ukulondoloza inkambo yethu ngisho nalapho sibhekene nokucindezela kokuyekethisa, nokuqaphela ukuthi ukubaluleka kwethu akunqunywa ukuthi sizimisele kangakanani ukuzidela kodwa ukuthi siphila ngokweqiniso kangakanani izindinganiso zethu.

Amandla angempela awakho ekuzibonakaliseni kwethu ngokuzidela okungapheli kodwa ekugcineni ubuqotho bethu kuyilapho sihlala sivulekele ukuxhumana kwangempela. Kumayelana nokuqonda ukuthi ubambiswano lweqiniso luyathuthukisa kunokuba lunciphise uhambo lomuntu ngamunye.

Njengoba ngiqhubeka nokuhlola lezi timu, ngiyakhunjuzwa ukuthi ubudlelwano obujule kakhulu empilweni yami kube yilabo lapho bobabili abathintekayo bahlala bezinikele ekukhuleni kwabo ngenkathi besekela ukuziphendukela kwemvelo komunye nomunye. Lokhu kuxhumana akuzange kwakhelwe ekuthembeleni noma ekuzideleleni kodwa ekuhloniphaneni, emananini okwabelwana ngawo, nokuzibophezela ekukhuleni komuntu ngamunye nokuqoqiwe.

Ukuqhubekela phambili, ngigxile ekukhuthazeni ukuxhumana okuhlonipha kokubili ubukhosi bomuntu ngamunye kanye nokukhula okuhlangene. Kumayelana nokudala izindawo lapho ubuqiniso bubungazwa khona, imingcele ihlonishwa, futhi ukukhula kuhambisana. Le ndlela idinga ukuhlakanipha ukuze uhlukanise phakathi kokupha kwangempela nokuzidela okunciphisayo, phakathi kokuyekethisa okunempilo nokuyekethisa okulimazayo.

Uhambo oluya ekuxhumaneni kweqiniso luqala ngokuzihlonipha futhi luqhubeka ngomkhuba wansuku zonke wokuhlonipha kokubili iqiniso lethu kanye nokuzimela kwabanye. Kuyindlela edinga isibindi, ukuhlakanipha, nokuzinikela okungantengantengi ebuqothweni bomuntu.

Njengoba sihamba le ndlela, masikhumbule ukuthi isipho sethu esikhulu kwabanye akukona ukuzidela kwethu kodwa ubuqiniso bethu. Uma sima siqinile eqinisweni lethu kuyilapho sihlala sivulekele ukuxhumana okunenjongo, sakha isisekelo sobudlelwano obunothisayo kunokuba bunciphe, obuphakamisayo kunokuba bubambe iqhaza.

Umgwaqo uyaqhubeka, futhi ngesinyathelo ngasinye, sifunda ukulinganisa ukuzimela nokuxhumana, ukuzihlonipha nokunakekela kwangempela kwabanye. Lona ingqikithi yokuhlakanipha kobudlelwane beqiniso-hhayi ukulahlekelwa thina ngabanye, kodwa sizithola ngokuxhumana okuyiqiniso kuyilapho sigcina izindlela zethu ngabanye.

Noma kunjalo, uhambo luyaqhubeka...