Ukulawula uxinzelelo kunokuba lula kakhulu kunokuba ucinga

Umsebenzi omninzi, utshintsho olukhulu ebomini, ukungakhuseleki emsebenzini, ukungquzulana namalungu osapho, ukungazinzi kwezemali kunye nezinye izinto ezininzi kunokuba ngumthombo woxinzelelo kuwe. Indlela yokuphila engafanelekanga, iipatheni zokucinga ezingalunganga okanye ukutyekela ekukhathazekeni ngokugqithiseleyo kunokwandisa ezi zixinzelelo zenze kube nzima ukuphila ubomi obonwabisayo nobunempilo.

Ngaphantsi koxinzelelo, inkqubo ye-nervous yomzimba iyasebenza, ekhokelela kwimeko yokuphakama okuphezulu. Oku kunokukhokelela kwiingcinga zomdyarho, kwenze kube nzima ukuthulisa ingqondo kwaye ugxile kulo mzuzu wangoku. Xa ungabanjwanga, uxinezeleko lunokuvusa imvakalelo yokungakwazi kuzibamba, kukwenze uzive ungenakuzinceda okanye ungenamandla. Inokondla kumkhwa wakho wokucinga kakhulu, idale umjikelo okhohlakeleyo ekunzima ukuwuqhawula.

Awunakuluphepha uxinzelelo, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo unokufunda ukululawula kakuhle. Ukwenza oku, kufuneka usebenzise amaqhinga afanelekileyo ngokuthatha ulawulo kunye nokwenza ngaphambi kokuba kube semva kwexesha.

Awunakuwamisa amaza, kodwa unokufunda ukusefa.

-UJon Kabat-Zinn

Unokuphendula kulo naluphi na uxinzelelo lobomi ngeendlela ezine ezinokwenzeka:

• Kuphephe ukucinezela (Tshintsha imeko)
• Guqula istresi (Tshintsha imeko)
• Ziqhelanise noxinzelelo (Tshintsha indlela osabela ngayo)
• Yamkela istresi (Tshintsha indlela osabela ngayo)

Kuphephe ukucinezela

Unokuvumela uxinzelelo ebomini bakho ngaphandle kokuqonda ukuba unokukhetha ukwenza isigqibo malunga nokuba yintoni oyivumelayo kwaye uyishiyayo.

Ngelixa ungeke ukwazi ukulawula yonke into, inxalenye yoxinzelelo lwakho ngokuzithandela njengoko ungaphumeleli ukuqaphela abantu, iimeko, okanye imisebenzi eyenza uxinzelelo kwaye wenqabe ukuhamba kubo. Ukuphepha uxinezeleko akuthethi ukungahoyi iingxaki okanye ukubaleka uxanduva. Kukufunda ukuthi hayi ebantwini, iimeko okanye iingxaki ezifuna amandla amaninzi engqondo kwaye aziyomfuneko okanye ziyingozi.

Umzekelo:

• Izihloko ezithile zeendaba zikwenza ube nexhala? Kuphephe ukutya iindaba ngaphambi kokulala.
• Ukuziva ukonganyelwe zizibophelelo zentlalo kule veki? Kuphephe ukwenza imisebenzi eyongezelelweyo okanye iimbopheleleko.
• Abanye abantu emsebenzini basasaza i-negativity kunye nokungabi nathemba? Kuphephe ukusebenzisana nabo ngaphandle kokuba kuyimfuneko.

Nokuba awukwazi ukubatshintsha bonke abantu abakungqongileyo, unokubatshintsha abantu obakhetha ukuba phakathi kwabo. Ubomi bufutshane kakhulu ukuba ungachitha ixesha lakho ebantwini abangakuhloniphiyo, abangakuxabisiyo nabangakuxabisiyo. Chitha ubomi bakho nabantu abakwenza uncume, uhleke, kwaye uzive uthandwa.

― Roy T. Bennett

Nciphisa ukubonakaliswa koxinzelelo olungeyomfuneko ebomini bakho:

• Yazi imida yakho kwaye ufunde ukuthi hayi kwimisebenzi eyolula loo mida.
• Baphephe abantu abakucinezelayo ngokunciphisa ixesha olichitha kunye nabo okanye ukuphelisa ubudlelwane ngokupheleleyo.
• Tsiba imisebenzi enoxinzelelo okanye iziganeko ezinganyanzeliswanga.

Sukuvumela uxinzelelo ukuba lungene ebomini bakho kwizinto eziphantsi kolawulo lwakho. Sebenzisa amandla akho. Gqiba. Yenza ukhetho olufanelekileyo.

Guqula i-stressor

Ukuba awukwazi ukuyiphepha imeko, inyathelo elilandelayo kukuzama ukuyitshintsha ngendlela eyenza ukuba inyamezeleke kwaye ingarhafisi kuwe. Oku kuhlala kubandakanya ukuyichaza ngokucacileyo into oyifunayo kunye nokunxibelelana neemfuno zakho kwangaphambili okanye ngokuqhubekayo uthatha amanyathelo okunciphisa iimeko ezinzima-seta imida, unikeze imisebenzi, okanye ufune inkxaso kwabanye.

Umzekelo:

• Unento eninzi kwipleyiti yakho? Guqula ishedyuli yakho ngokubeka phambili imisebenzi kwaye uyahlule ibe ngamanyathelo amancinci, alawulekayo.
• Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukungqubuzana nomamazala wakho malunga nemithendeleko ezayo? Chaza imida kwaye uthethe ngokucacileyo iindawo apho banokubandakanyeka kunye nezinto ezingenakulinganiswa.
• Ngaba awukwazi ukuliphepha itheko lommelwane wakho othiyile ukuya kulo? Misela okulindelweyo kwangaphambili ukuba unentlanganiso yasekuseni kwaye kufuneka ulishiye iqela kwangoko.

Imida isinceda ukuba sigcine okulungileyo nokubi ngaphandle. Ukumisela imida ngokuqinisekileyo kubandakanya ukuthatha uxanduva lokhetho lwakho. Nguwe ozenzayo. Nguwe ekufuneka uphile neziphumo zabo. Kwaye nguwe onokuzigcina ekwenzeni ukhetho onokuthi wonwabe ngalo.

- UHenry Cloud

Guqula imeko ukunciphisa uxinzelelo kunye nokunciphisa impembelelo yabo:

• Ukunikezela imisebenzi emsebenzini ukunciphisa umthwalo kunye noxinzelelo.
• Misela imida kwaye uthethe ngokukhululekileyo nabanye ukujongana nemithombo yokruthakruthwano okanye impixano.
• Khangela ezinye iindlela okanye iindlela zokujongana nale meko ngokufanelekileyo.

Akunakwenzeka ukunqanda zonke iimeko ezibangela uxinzelelo, kodwa unokunciphisa impembelelo yazo ngokucwangcisa ngononophelo kwaye uthethe ngezinto ozilindeleyo ngendlela ezisebenza ngayo endaweni yokukuchasa.

Ziqhelanise noxinzelelo

Xa ungakwazi ukuphepha okanye ukuguqula imeko yoxinzelelo, ukulungelelanisa kunye nokulungelelanisa impendulo yakho kuyo kunokwenza iqhinga. Oku kubandakanya ukujonga imeko ngokusebenzisa ilensi eyahlukileyo―ephatha umngeni njengethuba-ngokutshintsha imbono yakho, ukwandisa indlela ocinga ngayo kunye nokulungelelanisa izinto ozilindeleyo. Ukuziqhelanisa nemeko ngale ndlela kuyayitshintsha indlela oyijonga ngayo. Kunokuba uhlale ucinga ngale ngxaki, ucinga ngezinye iindlela zokuphendula ezinokuba luncedo okanye ezinokuba yingenelo.

Umzekelo:

• Ukujongana nemiba yezempilo ephazamisa ishedyuli yakho yokuzilolonga? Lungelelanisa ngokutshintsha indlela osebenza ngayo ukuze uquke imisebenzi enefuthe eliphantsi esakhuthaza ukuba sempilweni komzimba.
• Ngaba ujamelene nomqobo kwiinjongo zakho zobuqu? Yilungelelanise ngokuyilungisa ngokutsha njengokubuyisela umva okwexeshana kunokusilela okusisigxina. Sebenzisa la mava ukuvavanya kwakhona indlela yakho kwaye wenze uhlengahlengiso oluyimfuneko ukuze uqhubeke usiya phambili.
• Unengxaki yemali? Ukulungelelanisa ngokudala uhlahlo lwabiwo-mali kunye nokuphonononga amanyathelo okonga iindleko zokunciphisa uxinzelelo olukhawulezileyo ngelixa usebenzela ukuzinza kwexesha elide.

Ingqondo yakho yoxinzelelo ibumba yonke into ukusuka kwiimvakalelo ozivayo ngexesha loxinzelelo ukuya kwindlela ohlangabezana ngayo neziganeko ezixinzelelekileyo. Loo nto ke, inokugqiba enoba uyaqhuba kakuhle na xa uxinezelekile okanye uphele udiniwe yaye udandathekile. Iindaba ezimnandi zezokuba, kwanokuba uqinisekile ukuba uxinezeleko luyingozi, usenako ukuhlakulela isimo sengqondo esiya kukunceda wonwabe.

-UKelly McGonigal

Ziqhelanise nemeko ngokutshintsha imbono yakho:

• Lungisa okulindelekileyo kunye neenjongo ukulungelelanisa kunye neemeko zangoku, ukuvumela ukuba kubekho iziphumo ezinokwenyani nezifikelelekayo.
• Yamkela isimo sengqondo esakhayo ngokucwangcisa ngokutsha imingeni njengamathuba okukhula nokufunda.
• Cela umngeni kwiingcinga ezingakhiyo kwaye uzibuyisele ngokuzithetha kakuhle. Ziqhelise ukuba novelwano kwaye uzikhumbuze ukuba kulungile ukwenza iimpazamo okanye ukujongana nemiqobo.

Xa ujongene noxinzelelo, ingqondo yakho inquma indlela oqhuba ngayo izinto ezikungqongileyo kunye nendlela owenza ngayo. Ingqondo engalunganga inokubangela ukuba umntu aziphathe ngendlela eyoyisayo ekwenza ukuba ulahlekelwe yintembelo kunye nethemba kwizakhono zakho kunye nezakhono zakho ngelixa ukucinga okulungileyo kunokukwenza ukuba ufumane izisombululo kwezona zinto zinzima kunye nemingeni. Lawula uxinzelelo ngokujonga izinto ngendlela eyahlukileyo.

Yamkela istresi

Xa ungakwazi ukuyiphepha, ukuyitshintsha okanye ukuyiqhelanisa nemeko ethile, kububulumko ukuyamkela into yokuba ingaphaya kwamandla akho kwaye ukuzama ukuyitshintsha kuya kukhokelela ekufeni. Ukwamkela akuthethi ukuvumelana noko kwenzekayo okanye ukukhanyela indlela ovakalelwa ngayo ngayo. Kuza kuhambelana neemvakalelo zakho ngelixa uvuma izinto ongenakukwazi ukuzitshintsha ukuze ukwazi ukugxila koko unako.

Umzekelo:

• Inqwelomoya yakho ilibazisekile kwaye uza kuphoswa yintlanganiso ebalulekileyo. Akukho nto unokuyenza ngayo. Yamkele imeko kwaye usebenzise ixesha lokuphumla.
• Awuyifumananga intengiso obuyilindele. Yamkela ukuba bekungajongwanga ukuba kwaye ugxile ekuphuculeni izakhono zakho kumathuba exesha elizayo.
• Ufumana ilahleko enkulu yomntu nto leyo ebuhlungu. Yamkela ukuba yinxalenye yendalo yobomi. Gxininisa ekukhaleni ngendlela ephilileyo kwaye ufumane iindlela zokuhlonipha inkumbulo yoko ulahlekelweyo.

Utshintsho olumangalisayo lwenzeka ebomini bakho xa uthatha isigqibo sokulawula oko unamandla phezu kwako kunokuba unqwenele ukulawula into ongenayo.

- USteve Maraboli

Yamkela inyani yokuba ezinye izixinzelelo zingaphaya kolawulo lwakho:

• Kwamkele ukusikelwa umda nokungafezeki kunokuzabalazela imfezeko engenakufikelelwa.
• Yeka imfuno yolawulo kwiimeko ezingalawulekiyo okanye iziphumo.
• Ziqhelise ukucinga kunye novelwano ukuze wamkele iimvakalelo ezinzima ngaphandle kokugweba.

Ixhala malunga izinto ezingaphaya kwamandla akho kunokukhokelela kwiimvakalelo zokungafaneleki, ukungabi nakuzinceda kunye nokwanda kweemvakalelo zokuxhatshazwa. Ukuchitha ixesha kwizinto eziphantsi kolawulo lwakho kunokuphucula impilo yengqondo, ukwakha ukomelela kunye nokukhuthaza impilo-ntle jikelele. Yeka ukuchitha ixesha kwizinto ongakwaziyo ukuzilawula. Zamkele kwaye uqhubeke.

Bulala i stress sakho ngoku

Nanini na xa uziva unoxinzelelo, phendula le mibuzo ukuze ulawule uxinzelelo ngokufanelekileyo kwaye uzive ulawula ubomi bakho.

Ubekwa yintoni ngoku?

• Yiphephe: Ngaba ungayisusa ngokupheleleyo okanye uyiphephe ngokupheleleyo?
• Lunga: ungenza ntoni ukuyitshintsha?
• Qwalasela: Ngawaphi amathuba avelayo le meko? Zeziphi iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokuyicombulula?
• Yamkela : Yintoni engaphaya kwamandla akho xa kunje? Ungayenza njani isithuba seemvakalelo onazo kwaye wamkele into ongenakuyitshintsha?

Yonke into inokuthathwa emntwini kodwa into enye: inkululeko yokugqibela yomntu—ukukhetha isimo sengqondo sikabani kulo naluphi na uhlobo lweemeko, ukukhetha indlela yakhe.

- UViktor E. Frankl

Musa ukuvumela iimfuno ezingapheliyo zomsebenzi, ikhaya kunye nolunye uxanduva zikugcina uxinezelekile, unexhala kwaye ukhathazekile. Yigcine ikulawulo ngokunciphisa ukuvezwa, ukulawula okulindelweyo, ukuhlengahlengisa imeko kunye nokwamkela izinto ongenakukwazi ukuzitshintsha.

Isishwankathelo

1. Uxinzelelo luhlala lubonisa ukuba wenza umsebenzi ofanelekileyo, kodwa ukuwuvumela ukuba ungene ngaphandle kokufunda ukuwulawula kunokuba yingozi. Xa ingaphathwanga, iyakwazi ukuphumela ngaphandle kolawulo isenza kube nzima ukuphila ubomi obonwabisayo nobunempilo.
2. Unokulawula uxinzelelo ngokutshintsha imeko yakho (ukuphepha, ukuyiguqula) okanye utshintshe indlela osabela ngayo kuyo (ziqhelanise, zamkele).
3. Uxinzelelo luqala ukungena ebomini bakho xa usiva ngenceba yabanye abantu, iimeko okanye iimeko endaweni yokuba udlale indima ebonakalayo ekuthatheni isigqibo malunga nokuba yintoni oyivumelayo ukuba ungene kunye nento oyishiyayo. Sukuzinyanzelela kuso sonke isicelo esiza kuwe okanye uzinyanzele ukuba ube phakathi kwabantu abasasaza ukungakhathali kunye nokungabi nathemba. Yazi lukhetho.
4. Xa ukuphepha abantu abathile okanye iimeko aziyiyo inketho, cinga ukubeka imida kunye nokucacisa okulindelweyo ngokuthetha ngokucacileyo iimfuno zakho kwangaphambili. Ukuxela okwamkelekileyo noko kungamkelekanga kunokukwenza ukuba unyamezeleke kwaye ungarhafisi kakhulu kuwe.
5. Inxalenye enkulu yoxinzelelo lwakho ayiveli kwinto eyenzekayo kuwe, kodwa indlela osabela ngayo kuyo. Ukwamkela isimo sengqondo sokufunda esamkela imiceli mngeni njengamathuba, ukuqwalasela amathuba ahlukeneyo kunye nokusebenzisa iimpazamo ukuphinda uhlengahlengise kunye nenkqubela phambili kunokuyikhulula ingqondo yakho ekhokelela kuxinzelelo oluncinci kunye nokuzola ngakumbi ebomini.
6. Okokugqibela, ezinye izinto azikho phantsi kolawulo lwakho kwaye ukuzikhathaza ngazo akuyi kuzenza zinyamalale. Endaweni yokugxila kwinto ongakwaziyo ukuyilawula, tshintshela amandla akho kwinto onokuyenza. Ukwamkela into ongenakuyitshintsha ngamava akhululayo kakhulu.

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