How to Lead With Empathy & Avoid the Pitfalls of Emotional Contagion

Instead of criticizing employees for their bad performance, can you ask them, “Is everything okay?”

A few weeks before, while going through the job description for a Content Marketing Manager, I was pleased to see this as a job requirement: “Empathy and a strong sense of emotional intelligence to connect with team members.”

As an evangelizer for empathy in day-to-day life—among partners, friends, parents, and even strangers, it was an eye-opener for me to realize the potential of empathy in leadership positions and at work.

Even though the world of business revolves around numbers, it is crucial to focus on what makes the business move an inch forward, let alone revolve. The people. For they can’t be measured with graphs, and without their commitment, failure is inevitable.

Understanding the Science of Empathy

Psychologists classify empathy into two broad terms - cognitive empathy and affective empathy. This understanding is necessary for a leader in business because the nature of the job involves performing complex tasks and making tough decisions.

Cognitive empathy is more about understanding the perspective of another person. It helps you listen and communicate better. This type of empathy does not involve emotional response.

But in affective empathy, which is also called emotional empathy, you tend to share the feelings of another person. The classic “your pain is my pain” scenario might not be healthy in a professional relationship because it would be hard to set boundaries.

It is cognitive empathy that allows leaders to have a balance between the management and their team. It fosters a friendly work environment, and at the same time, does not affect the executive skills required for management.

How Does Empathy Spread in Groups?

Empathy is contagious. At the core, empathy is nothing but emotions. It is your emotional reaction to the other person. Researchers say that emotions are not contained to one individual. It has a ripple effect throughout the workplace.

People can easily catch up on these emotions because they feel them with or without their personal involvement. The whole team feeling off when one of your co-workers faces a rude situation is an example. Some people show it; some don’t. But remember, everybody feels that.

It is called emotional contagion. Should it threaten you? Nope, because the same theory acts for positive emotions too. A sense of joy can also be transmitted. How to channel it will be discussed later in the article.

Emotional Contagion vs Empathy

A leader can mistake emotional contagion for empathy and also be prone to it. The awareness is vital to manage your own emotions and to ensure your team’s well-being. Here are the major differences:

Emotional Contagion:

• You connect with people deeply and lose yourself.

• There is no psychological distance between the person experiencing them and the person understanding them.

• Being emotionally distressed and can no longer make the right decisions fearing what the other person might think.

Empathy:

• Walking in others’ shoes to understand their situation but knowing your limits.

• There is a clear psychological distance and boundaries maintained.

• Autonomy is maintained with the ability to individuate.

  
  

As a leader, it is necessary to create a space that is comfortable enough for people to express their emotions and, at the same time, be less vulnerable to the emotions mentioned above.

6 Ways to Boost Empathy In the Workplace

Empathy is not a trait; it’s not in the blood. It is a skill. Similar to practicing the guitar, you can become more empathetic and a caring leader with practice—sometimes it’s hard work (but totally worth it). Here are some simple steps that can incorporate empathy into your professional life.

1. Listen Without Judgement

The biggest obstacle to open communication is judging the other person in a snap of a finger. Without open communication, empathy cannot survive. Next time, when someone speaks to you, try to stop yourself from replying back. Ask more questions. Be curious.

Let the other person speak more; let them feel heard. Once they are done speaking, and there is nothing left for you to ask, then tell them what you feel, followed by what you think.

2. Let Others Decide

Let individuals take ownership and make decisions related to their work. Involve more of their ideas and suggestions into consideration. This would give them a morale boost and result in improved performance. We take much more care of our car than a taxi, right?

Make them feel their work is like their own car and not a taxi that they don’t look back after leaving.

3. Check-In Regularly

Please go beyond the usual, “How are you?” Most of the time, when people ask that question, they don’t even bother to get an answer. They do it out of habit. But if you can spot someone feeling a bit off and ask them the right questions at the right time, you will get to know a lot about that person and the situation.

You will build a great bond with that person.

4. Treat People Differently

This might go against the golden saying, “Treat everybody equally.” But when it comes to leadership, treating people fairly is more important than treating people equally. Know more about the people under your control. Learn what they enjoy and dislike.

Customize the environment according to their needs (to the possible extent). Let them feel a sense of freedom to do what they wish. Treat them so well that they don’t want to leave you.

5. Share Your Mistakes

Empathy is a double-way bridge. As a leader, be open about yourself—especially the moments where you failed, the moments where you have been miserable. Because it tells others it is okay to fail. And since now you are a leader, those are lessons to success.

Let others connect with you and trust you. Avoid bragging because it’s the last thing they need to hear.

6. Prepare Them To Win

Be genuinely interested in the goals, dreams, and visions of your people. Keep them where they are growing. Provide them with everything you can so that they can improve professionally and personally. Many leaders worry that people leave once so much is invested in them.

But if they are treated right, they stay with you and make you grow more than you can imagine.

On A Final Note:

How long did it take for you to balance your bicycle? It would take half that time of practice to balance empathy in leadership without getting emotionally vulnerable.

Realizing emotion is contagious, and a group of people is a breeding ground for its spread, you can turn the tables in your favor.

With empathy on your side, witness your leadership spread joy, enthusiasm, excitement, and a sense of purpose to others resulting in harmonious growth for the individual and organization as a whole.