How self care and assertiveness can help the remote worker

The benefits of remote working include better work-life balance and more work flexibility as well as nonexistent commuting time, but research shows that there can be some disadvantages to remote work. The following quotes illustrate the idea that remote workers might have trouble gaining promotions.

“Over the past year, remote workers were promoted 31% less frequently than people who worked in an office, either full-time or on a hybrid basis, according to an analysis of two million white-collar workers by employment-data provider Live Data Technologies.”

• Remote Workers Are Losing Out on Promotions, New Data Shows,” WSJ.com, https://www.wsj.com/lifestyle/careers/remote-workers-are-losing-out-on-promotions-8219ec63

“Nearly 90% of chief executives who were surveyed said that when it comes to favorable assignments, raises or promotions, they are more likely to reward employees who make an effort to come to the office.”

• Remote Workers Are Losing Out on Promotions, New Data Shows,” WSJ.com, https://www.wsj.com/lifestyle/careers/remote-workers-are-losing-out-on-promotions-8219ec63

Communication may be a large part of why people are not promoted. Workers may not be able to effectively communicate nonverbally while working remotely.

“Nonverbal components contribute to over 90% of effective communication and help the appropriate delivery of feelings and attitude.”

• “Correlation between nonverbal communication and objective structured clinical examination score in medical students,” Park et al. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6127604/

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It can be harder to communicate your value when working remotely for many reasons but possibly the main reason is because the nonverbal aspect of communication is hard to decode when you are not in person. Having improved assertiveness and communication skills may help.

Three communication self care strategies for working remotely

• Assertive communication verbally and in writing

Being able to communicate assertively rather than in a passive-aggressive or aggressive way may greatly improve someone’s ability to have their voice heard.  Assertive communication is a way of expressing yourself directly and clearly while still respecting others, with the goal of minimizing conflict and helping you get your needs met.

• Clear boundaries for your time and efforts

Part of assertive communication is knowing how to set clear boundaries. This will allow you to be clear about your priorities at work. Ensuring that your work priorities help you stay productive and also meet the needs of the company may help you gain promotions. Not only will you want to protect your time, you will also want to protect the scope of what you are working on so that it benefits the company.

• Knowing your worth

Being able to set clear boundaries is part of knowing your value and having confidence. People who are able to value their own time are demonstrating respect for themselves. Time and energy for a person are finite resources. If a person is assertive and can establish clear boundaries, it shows they respect themselves, their abilities, their time and work.

Sometimes, it can be hard to learn to be more assertive especially if someone is not used to setting clear boundaries or having a clear sense of their worth. The good news is that these are skills that can be learned and practiced. The best way to practice might be initially to practice in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend or family member. Afterwards, you might try practicing assertiveness in actual social or work situations.

Some common assertiveness skills are:

Giving your opinion

• Being able to give your opinion can be difficult if you are not used to this. If you want to practice giving your opinion, try voicing an opinion before other people give theirs so that you don’t end up just agreeing with their thoughts.

“I think this product would sell better with different packaging.”

Actively disagreeing

• When actively disagreeing with others, let the person you are talking with know that they are heard. You might then acknowledge their opinion while afterwards disagreeing with gentle body language.

“I understand that the existing packaging for this product was chosen because of supply reasons; however, the current sales have not been so high and there are other packaging alternatives.

Making requests

• It is ok to ask for things, and it's ok for the other person to say no.

“Can we consider researching other packaging alternatives for this product?”

Saying no to requests

• Saying no to requests can be hard if you don’t want to let someone down or disappoint them, but remember if you are overloaded with work and can’t get to their request it would also disappoint them. The best thing to do is to be honest about what you are able to accomplish and what you want to do.

• If others ask you to do things you don’t want to do, you have assertive options for handling this while protecting your time or energy.

Some options

• Thank you for thinking of me, however I am not able to do that.

  
  

• Thanks for asking, but I'm not interested.

  
  

• This is the second time you have asked me this and unfortunately, the answer is still no.

Interrupting people

• Interrupting others is not necessarily a bad thing. It might be very helpful to interrupt someone if you have information they need to know.
• If someone tries to interrupt you, you have the power to decide if you are going to welcome an interruption or not.

Assertiveness takes practice and requires that you be flexible when communicating your needs with others. Assertiveness is not a personality trait. It's a skill that can be learned. If you are having trouble seeing things assertively or speaking in an assertive way, take a break from the situation and come back to it later if possible. Additionally, assertive communication is about connecting with the other person instead of being adversarial.

What if you have difficulty knowing your self worth? What if that causes you to have trouble being assertive in your communication style?

1. Practice self compassion by thinking of yourself as a valuable human being who occasionally makes mistakes.
2. Love yourself the way you are today.
3. Work on forgiving yourself for any shame or regrets you feel or have.
4. Think about what matters to you and know your values.
5. Surround yourself with positive people that respect you and treat you well
6. Practice being assertive any and every chance you get.

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Communicating effectively is not just about verbal or nonverbal communication. It's about how you feel about yourself. That is reflected in your communication skills as well. If you feel healthy, confident, and practice assertiveness skills, it will help you project improved communication at work even if you are working remotely.