Exercises are intended to be used

How to Write Clearly: Rules and Exercises on English Composition by Edwin Abbott Abbott, is part of the HackerNoon Books Series. You can jump to any chapter in this book . EXERCISES here EXERCISES For an explanation of the manner in which these Exercises are intended to be used, see the Preface. A number in brackets by itself, or followed by a letter, e.g. (43), (40 a), refers to the Rules. Letters by themselves in brackets, e.g. (b), refer to the explanations or hints appended to each sentence. N.B..—(10 a) refers to the first section of Rule (10); (10 a') to the Rule following Rule (10). "Pleasure and excitement had more attractions for him than (a) (36) (37 a) his friend, and the two companions became estranged (15 a) gradually." (a) Write (1) "than for his friend," or (2) "than had his friend," "had more attractions than his friend." "(a) He soon grew tired of solitude even in that beautiful scenery, (36) the pleasures of the retirement (8) which he had once pined for, and (36) leisure which he could use to no good purpose, (a) (30) being (15) restless by nature." (a) This sentence naturally stops at "purpose." Also "being restless" seems (wrongly) to give the reason why "leisure" could not be employed. Begin "Restless by nature…." "The opponents of the Government are naturally, and not (a) (40 a) without justification, elated at the failure of the bold attempt to return two supporters of the Government at the recent election, (b) (10 a') which is certainly to be regretted." (a) "unjustifiably." (b) Write, for "which," either (1) "an attempt that &c.," or (2) "a failure that &c." "Carelessness in the Admiralty departments has co-operated with Nature to weaken the moral power of a Government that particularly needs to be thought efficient in (a) (5) this respect, (b) (29) to counterbalance a general distrust of its excessive desire (c) (47 a) to please everybody in Foreign Affairs." (a) Write "the Navy." (b) Instead of "to" write "in order to," so as to distinguish the different infinitives, (c) "obsequiousness." "(a) He was sometimes supported by Austria, who, oddly enough, appears under Count Beust to have been more friendly to Italy than (37 a) France, (30) in this line of action." (a) Begin with "In this line of action." Why? (b) Write "than was France" or "than France was." "There was something so startling in (a) (5) this assertion, (a) (4) that the discoveries of previous investigators were to be (b) (47 a) treated as though they had never been made, and (4) that one who had not yet (47 a) attained the age of manhood had superseded the grey-headed philosophers (8) who had for centuries patiently sought after the truth, (4) that (a) (5) it naturally provoked derision." (a) "This," "that," and "it," cause a little perplexity. Write "The startling assertion that the discoveries…." (b) "ignored." (c) "a mere youth," "a mere stripling." "One of the recommendations (on which very (a) (26) (47, a) much depended) of the Commission was that a council in each province should establish smaller councils, each to have the oversight of a small district, and (b) (37) report to a central council on the state of Education in (c) (5) it." (a) Write "cardinal recommendations." Derive "cardinal." (b) Write, either (1) "and should report," or (2) "and to report." (c) Write "in its province," or "district." "At this (a) (1) period an (b) (11) event (c) (1) transpired that destroyed the last hopes of peace. The king fell from his horse and died two hours after the fall (d) (30), which was occasioned by his horse's stumbling on a mole-hill, while he was on his return from reviewing his soldiers." (a) What is a "period"? (b) Express the particular kind of event ("accident"). (c) What is the meaning of "transpired"? (d) Transpose thus: "While the king was on his return … his horse …; the king fell and &c." The cause should precede the effect. "He determined (c) on selling all his estates, and, as soon as this was done (40 a), to (c) quit the country, (a) (33) believing that his honour demanded this sacrifice and (40) (40 a) in (b) the hope of satisfying his creditors." (a) Begin with "Believing that &c." (b) "hoping thereby to satisfy &c." (c) "to sell" or "on quitting.". "He read patiently on, Leading Articles, Foreign Correspondence, Money Article and all; (a) (43) during which his father fell asleep, and he (b) went in search of his sister." Point out the absurdity of "during which" applied to the last part of the sentence. (a) "Meanwhile." (b) Insert "then." "The general was quite (a) (1) conscious (40 a) how treacherous were the intentions of those who were (b) (49) entertaining him, and (40 a) of the dangers from which he had escaped (15) lately." (a) Distinguish between "conscious" and "aware." (b) "entertainers." "If certain (a) (11) books had been published a hundred years ago, there can be no doubt that certain recent (b) (11) historians would have made great use of them. But it would (c) (15 b) not, on that account, be judicious in a writer of our own times to publish an edition of the works of one of these (b) (11) historians, in which large extracts from these books should be incorporated with the original text." (a) "Mrs. Hutchinson's Memoirs." (b) "Mr. Hume." (c) Add at the end of the sentence, "Surely not." "He made no attempt to get up a petition, (32) though he did not like the new representative quite so well as (a) (37 a) his colleagues." (a) "as did his colleagues" or "as he liked his colleagues." "Though he was (a) (15) obstinate and (15) unprincipled, yet he could not face an angered father (15 a) in spite of his effrontery." (a) Begin with "Obstinate." "He was known to his country neighbours (a) (15) during more than forty years as a gentleman of cultivated mind, (40 a) whose principles were high, (40 a) with polished address, happy in his family, and (b) (40 a) actively discharging local duties; and (40 a) among political men, as an honest, industrious, and sensible member of Parliament, (40 a) without (c) eagerness to display his talents, (40 a) who (10 g) was stanch to his party, and attentive to the interests of those whose (d) (47 a) representative he was." (a) "During more &c.," is emphatic, and affects the latter as well as the former half of the sentence: hence it should stand first. (b) "in the discharge of." (c) "not eager." (d) Condense into one word. "The poor think themselves no more disgraced by taking bribes at elections than (a) (37 a) the rich by offering them." (a) Write (1) "Than the rich think themselves disgraced," or (2) "Than they think the rich disgraced." "We are told that the Sultan Mahmoud, by his perpetual wars, (a) (41) and his tyranny, (a) (41) had filled his dominions with (b) (1) misfortune and (c) (11) calamity, and greatly (d) (11) diminished the population of the Persian Empire. This great Sultan had (e) (50) a Vizier. We are not (f) (55) (15) informed whether he was a humorist or an enthusiast, (g) but he pretended (h) that he had learned from (i) (11) some one how to understand the language of birds, so that he (j) (5) knew what was said by any bird that opened its mouth. (k) (44) One evening he was with the Sultan, returning from hunting. They saw a couple of owls which (10 g) were sitting upon a tree (l) (8) which grew near an old wall out of a heap of rubbish. The Sultan said (6) he should like to know what the two owls were saying to one another, and asked the (m) Vizier to listen to their discourse and give him an account of it. The Vizier, (n) (31) pretending to be very attentive to the owls, approached the tree. He (o) returned to the Sultan and said that (6) he had heard part of their conversation, but did not wish to tell him what it was. (p) (5) He, not (q) (31) being satisfied with this answer, forced him to repeat everything the owls had said (20) exactly. (r) (44) (5) (6) He told (5) him that the owls were arranging a treaty of marriage between their children, and that one of them, after agreeing to settle five hundred villages upon the female owl, had prayed (6) that God would grant a long life to Sultan Mahmoud, because as long as he reigned over them they would never want ruined villages. The story says (s) that (t) (5) he was touched with the fable, (30) and (s) that he (a) (39) from that time forward consulted (15) the good of his people, and that he rebuilt the towns and villages (v) which had been destroyed." (a) "abroad … at home." (b) "ruin." (c) "desolation." (d) "half unpeopled." (e) "The Vizier of &c." (f) "We are not informed" is emphatic, and therefore should be inverted, "whether he was, &c., we are not informed." (g) "but he" will be omitted when "the Vizier" is made the subject of "pretended." (h) "Pretended" once meant "claimed," "professed." Write "professed." (i) "a certain dervish." (j) Introduce a new subject that you may substitute "Vizier" for "he," thus: "so that not a bird could open its mouth, but the Vizier knew &c." (k) "As he was, one evening, &c." (l) Note that the tree is represented as growing out of ruins. This is in accordance with the story of the mischief Mahmoud had done. (m) Omit this. (n) "Suspense" is out of place in a simple narrative like this; the sentence therefore ends with "owls." (o) "Upon his return." (p) "The Sultan" (q) "would not be satisfied." (r) "You must know then, &c." (s) Omit. (t) "so touched … that." (u) end with "people." (v) Addison here uses "which" probably because of the preceding "that." We have to choose between sound and clearness. "Which" implies that all the villages in the country had been destroyed, whereas the country had been only (see above) "half unpeopled." "Though this great king never permitted any pastime to interfere with the duties of state, which he considered to be superior to (54) all other claims and of paramount importance, and (a) (37) kept himself so far under control that he allowed no one pursuit or amusement to run to any excess, yet he took (54) great pleasure in the chase, of which he was (b) (2) excessively (54) fond, and for the purposes of which he created several large parks of considerable (54) magnitude." (a) Either repeat "though," or else strikeout the first "though" and begin a new sentence after "excess." (b) Point out the contradiction between "excessively" and what precedes. "To inundate (a) (11) their land, to man their ships, to leave their country, with all its miracles of art and industry, its cities, its villas, and its (b) (11) pastures buried under the waves (c) (11); to bear to a distant climate their (d) (11) faith and their old (e) (11) liberties; to establish, with auspices that(10 a) might perhaps be happier, the new (f) (11) constitution of their commonwealth, in a (g) (11) foreign and strange (h) (11) land, in the Spice Islands of the Eastern Seas, (38) were the plans which they had the spirit to form." (a) Introduce "dykes." (b) Introduce something peculiar to the Dutch, e.g. "canals," "tulip gardens." (c) "of the German Ocean." (d) The Dutch were Calvinists. (e) The country was in old times "Batavia," so that "Batavian" would be a fit epithet to denote what the Dutch had inherited from their forefathers. (f) "Stadthaus," the German for "town-hall." (g) "other stars." (h) "strange vegetation." "During twenty years of unexampled prosperity, during (a) which the wealth of the nation had shot (14 a) up and extended its branches on every side, and the funds had (14 a) soared to a higher point than had been ever attained before, (b) (15) speculation had become general." (a) Omit. (b) Begin a new sentence: "This, or Prosperity, had increased the taste for speculation." "At that time (a) (16) a mere narrow-minded pedant (for he deserves no better name) had been set up by the literary world as a great author, and as the supreme (b) critic, alone qualified to deliver decisions which could never be (b) reversed upon (15 a) the literary productions of the day." (a) End with " … one who was—for he deserves no better name—a mere narrow-minded pedant." (b) "Which could never be reversed" can be expressed in one word; or else "the supreme … reversed" may be condensed into a personification: "a very Minos of contemporary criticism." "With the intention of fulfilling his promise, and (40 a) intending also to clear himself from the suspicion that attached to him, he determined to ascertain how (40 a) far this testimony was corroborated, and (a) (40 a) the motives of the prosecutor, (b) (43) who had begun the suit last Christmas." (a) "what were." (b) Begin a new sentence, "The latter &c.," or "The suit had been begun &c." "The Jewish nation, relying on the teaching of their prophets, looked forward to a time when its descendants should be as numerous as the heavenly (11) bodies, and when the products (a) (11) of the earth should be so increased as to create an abundant (54) plenty, when each man should rest beneath the shade of his own (a) (11) trees, and when the instruments (11) of war should be converted to the (11) uses of peace." (a) Mention some "products," "trees" of Palestine. "He replied (32), when he was asked the reason for his sudden unpopularity, that he owed it to his refusal to annul the commercial treaty, (a) (8) which(10 a') gave great displeasure to the poorer classes." (a) Point out the ambiguity, and remove it by (8) or (10 a'). "I saw my old schoolfellow again by mere accident when I was in London at the time of the first Exhibition, (19) walking down Regent Street and looking in at the shops." Point out and remove the ambiguity. "He remained in the House while his speech was taken into consideration; which (52) was a common practice with him, because the debates amused his sated mind, and indeed he used to say (a) (6 b) that they were sometimes as good as a comedy. His Majesty had certainly never seen a more (17) sudden turn in any comedy of intrigue, either at his own play-house or the Duke's, than that which this memorable debate produced." (a) "and were sometimes, he used to say, as good &c." "The Commons would not approve the war (20) expressly; neither did they as yet condemn it (20) expressly; and (a) (18) the king might even have obtained a supply for continuing hostilities (19) from them, on condition of (b) redressing grievances connected with the (c) administration of affairs at home, among which the Declaration of Indulgence was a very important (d) (15_a_) one." (a) Write "they were even ready to grant the king &c." (b) Use the verb with a subject, (c) Condense all this into one adjective, meaning "that which takes place at home." (d) End with a noun, "importance," or "foremost place." "Next to thinking clearly, (a) (5) it is useful to speak clearly, and whatever your position in life may hereafter be it cannot be such (54) as not to be improved by this, (b) so that it is worth while making almost any effort to acquire (c) it, if it is not a natural gift: (d) it being an undoubted (d) fact that the effort to acquire it must be successful, to some extent at least, if (d) it be moderately persevered in." (a) "Next in utility … comes speaking clearly—a power that must be of assistance to you &c." (b)" If, therefore, you cannot speak clearly by nature, you &c." (c) "this power." (d) Omit "fact;" "for undoubtedly, with moderate perseverance &c." "It (a) (38) appears to me (15) a greater victory than Agincourt, a grander triumph of wisdom and faith and courage than even the English constitution or (b) liturgy, to have beaten back, or even fought against and stemmed in ever so small a degree, those basenesses that (c) (10_a_) beset human nature, which are now held so invincible that the influences of them are assumed as the fundamental axioms of economic science." (a) Begin with "To have beaten &c.," and end with "liturgy." (b) Repeat for clearness and emphasis, "the English." (c) "The besetting basenesses of &c." "The (a) (2) unprecedented impudence of our youthful representative reminds us forcibly of the unblushing and (54) (40) remarkable effrontery (c) (which (26) he almost succeeds in equalling) of the Member for St. Alban's, whom our (b) (1) neophyte (b) (1) alluded to, in the last speech with which he favoured those whom (47_a_) he represents, (19) as his pattern and example." (a) Show that "unprecedented" is inconsistent with what follows. (b) What is the meaning of "neophyte," "alluded to"? (c) Begin a new sentence, "Our young adventurer &c.," and end with "and he almost succeeds in equalling his master." "The (a) (1) veracity of this story is questionable, and there is the more reason for doubting the (a) (1) truth of the narrator, because in his remarks on the (1) observation of the Sabbath he distinctly (a) (1) alludes to a custom that can be shown never to have existed." (a) Distinguish between "veracity" and "truth," "observation" and "observance." Show the inconsistency between "allude" and "distinctly." "It (a) (5) is a most just distribution, (10 a) which the late Mr. Tucker has dwelt upon so (b) largely in his works, between pleasures in which we are passive, and pleasures in which we are active. And I believe every attentive observer of human life will assent to (c) this position, that however (d) grateful the sensations may occasionally be in which we are passive, it is not these, but the latter class of our pleasures, (8) which constitutes satisfaction, (e) (38) which supply that regular stream of moderate and miscellaneous enjoyments in (10 c) which happiness, as distinguished from voluptuousness, consists." (a) "There is great justice in &c." (b) Omit "so." (c) "admit." (d) Not often now used in this sense. (e) Repeat the antecedent, "I mean those (pleasures) &c." "The prince seemed to have before him a limitless (54) prospect of unbounded prosperity, carefully (33) trained for the (a) tasks of the throne, and stimulated by the (a) pattern of his father, (b) who (43) breathed his (3) last suddenly at the age of sixty-two, just after the conclusion of the war." (a) Find more appropriate words. (b) Begin a new sentence. "On his way, he visited a son of an old friend (a) (25) who had asked him to call upon him on his journey northward. He (b) (5) was overjoyed to see him, and (c) he sent for one of his most intelligent workmen and told (d) him to consider himself at (e) his service, (30) as he himself could not take (f) him as he (g) wished about the city." (a) If you mean that the "son" had "asked him," write "An old friend's son who;" if you mean that the "friend" had "asked him," write "He had been asked by an old friend to call, on his journey northward, upon his son. Accordingly he visited him on his way." (b) Use, instead of he, some name meaning "one who entertains others." (c) Use participle, (d) "The man." (e) "the stranger's." (f) "his guest." (g) Write "could have wished" to make it clear that "he" means "the host." "Tillotson died in this year. He was exceedingly beloved both by King William and by Queen Mary (43), who nominated Dr. Tennison, Bishop of Lincoln, to succeed him." "(a) The entertainment was arranged with a magnificence that was (b) perfectly stupendous and (c) most unprecedented, and which quite kept up his Lordship's unrivalled reputation for unparalleled hospitality, and, thanks to the unequalled energy of Mr. Smith, who is rapidly becoming one of the most effective toast-masters in the kingdom, the toasts were given with a spirit quite unexampled on occasions of this nature; and indeed we were forcibly reminded in this respect of the inimitable entertainment of three years ago (2)." (a) Omit most of the epithets, or soften them down. Point out the contradictions in the sentence as it stands. (b) Write "a remarkable magnificence that quite &c.," thus dispensing with the following "and." (c) Show that "most" is superfluous. "If we compare Shakespeare with the other dramatic authors of the Elizabethan era, his wonderful superiority to them in the (15) knowledge of human nature is what (15 a) principally strikes us." "The prince found himself at once in sore perplexity how to provide himself with the commonest comforts or even necessaries of life, when he landed on this desolate coast, being (33) accustomed to luxury." "This make-shift policy recommended itself to the succeeding ministers (a) (50), both because they were timid and because they were prejudiced, and they were delighted to excuse (b) (13) themselves by quoting the example of one who (c) (34) had controlled the Liberals and humoured the Conservatives, (37) commended himself to the country at large by his unfailing good-humour, and (d) (44) (37) done nothing worthy of the name of statesman." (a) "to the timidity and prejudices of &c." (b) "shelter themselves behind." (c) "while he had at once." (d) "had yet done." "William Shakespeare was the sun among the lesser lights of English poetry, and a native of Stratford-on-Avon (14 a)." "(15 b) I think, gentlemen, you must confess that any one of you would have done the same (32), if you had been tempted as I was then, placed starving and ragged among wasteful luxury and comfort, deliberately instigated to acts of dishonesty by those whom I had been taught from infancy to love, (a) praised when I stole, mocked or punished when I failed to (15 a) do (b) so." (a) Insert another infinitive beside "love." "Love" produces "obedience." (b) Repeat the verb instead of "do so." "So far from being the first (54) aggressor, he not (22) only refused to prosecute his old friend when a favourable opportunity presented itself for revenging himself thus upon him, but also his friend's adviser, John Smith. Smith (a) at all (23) events suspected, if he did not know of the coming danger, and had given no information of it." (a) If "at all events" qualifies "Smith," the sentence must be altered. "Yet, however innocent his friend may have been, at all events Smith suspected…." If the words qualify "suspected," place them after "suspected." "It is quite true that he paid 5_s._ per day to English navvies, and even 6s., (19) in preference to 2_s._ 6_d._ to French navvies." "Having climbed to the apex of the Righi to enjoy the spectacle of the sun-rise, I found myself so incommoded by a number of illiterate individuals who had emerged from the hotel for a (a) (1) similar purpose, that I determined to quit them at the earliest practicable period; and therefore, without stopping to partake of breakfast, I wended my way back with all possible celerity." (3) (a) "the same." "You admit that miracles are not natural. Now whatever is unnatural is wrong, and since, by your own admission, miracles are unnatural, it follows that miracles are wrong." (1) "Who is the man that has dared to call into civilized alliance the (a) (41) inhabitant of the woods, to delegate to the (a) Indian the defence of our disputed rights? (a) Insert some antithetical or other epithets. "A (a) very (11) small proportion indeed of those who have attempted to solve this problem (b) (19) have succeeded in obtaining even a plausible solution." (a) State what proportion succeeded, or, if you like, what failed: "not one in a hundred." (b) Begin, "Of all those that &c." "To be suddenly (a) (47 a) brought into contact with a system (8) which forces one to submit to wholesale imposture, and to being (40 a) barbarously ill-treated, naturally repels (a) (15 a) one." (a) Write, either (1) "Collision … causes a natural repulsion," or (2) "When brought into contact … one is naturally repelled," or (if "ill-treatment" is emphatic), (3) "One is naturally repelled by collision with &c." "We annex a letter recently addressed by Mr. ——'s direction to the Editor of the ——, in contradiction of statements, equally untrue, which appeared in that periodical, and (a) (9) which the editor has undertaken to insert in the next number…. I am sure that all must regret that statements so (b) (51) utterly erroneous should have (c) (23) first appeared in a publication of such high character." (a) What the writer intended to express was that the editor had undertaken to insert, not the "statements," but the "contradiction." (b) Omit either "so" or "utterly." (c) "appeared first," or, "for the first time." "This is a book which (10 a) is short and amusing, which (10 a) can be easily (a) understood, which (10 a) is admirably adapted for the purpose for which it (b) was (54) written; and (10 e) which ought to be more popular than the last work which (10 a) was published by the same author." (a) Express "which can be understood" in one adjective. (b) "Its purpose." "When thousands are left (19) without (40) pity and without (40) attention (19) on a field of battle, amid (40) the insults of an enraged foe and (40) the trampling of horses, while the blood from their wounds, freezing as it flows, binds them to the earth, and (40) they are exposed to the piercing air, it (15 a) must be indeed a painful scene." The whole sentence must be remedied by (40). "(a) The youth was naturally thoughtful, and disposed (19) besides by his early training—(31) which had been conducted with great care, the object of his parents being to pave (14) his way as far as possible over the stormy (14) sea of temptation and to lead him into the harbour of virtue—to a sincere (b) (1) remorse (19) for the (b) (1) crimes that he had committed in the sight of heaven, and also for his recent (b) (1) sin in breaking the laws of his country." (a) First state the reasons for his being "disposed." "The youth was naturally thoughtful; moreover, his early training had been conducted with great care by his parents, whose &c. …. He was therefore disposed &c." (b) What is the difference between "remorse" and "repentance," between "sin" and "crime"? "(a) One day (54) early in the morning, the general was approached by a messenger, (30) in the midst of the entanglements and perplexities which had unexpectedly surprised him, when the perilous hour of (54) danger was at hand, and (37), in spite of their promises, even the tribes that were well disposed (54) and friendly, were threatening to desert him, and (54) leave him to face the enemy (b) (23) alone." Condense the sentence by omitting some of the italicized words, e.g. (a) "Early one morning." (b) Though there is no real ambiguity (unless a wrong emphasis is placed on "enemy"), yet, in strictness, "alone" ought to qualify "enemy." Write therefore, "alone in the face of the enemy." "A man (a) (10 d) who neglected the ordinary duties life, and, immersed in study, devoted himself to grand plans for the benefit of mankind, (b) (44) and refused to provide for the wants of those dependent on him, and suffered his aged relatives to become paupers because he would not help them, (c) would, in my opinion, (34) be a bad man, and not altogether (d) (40 a) without hypocrisy." of (a) "If a man." (b) "if he refused," or "while he refused." (c) "such a man" or "he." (d) "to some extent a hypocrite." "I cannot believe in the guilt of (a) one (b) (10 e) who, whatever may have been said to the contrary, can be shown, and has been shown by competent testimony proceeding from those who are said to have carefully examined the facts, in spite (23) of many obstacles, to have resisted all attempts to (29) induce him to leave his situation, (c) (29) to consult his own interests and to (29) establish a business of his own." (a) "his guilt;" (b) (1) "for, whatever &c…. it can be shown by &c…. that, in spite of &c., he resisted." Or (2) insert "in spite … obstacles" between "have" and "carefully." (c) (1) "for the purpose of consulting … and establishing." Or (2) write "and to consult his own interests by establishing &c." "We must seek for the origin of our freedom, (a) (37) prosperity, and (a) (37) glory, in that and only (b) that[18] portion of our annals, (30) though it (c) is sterile and obscure. The great English people was (d) then formed; the notional (e) disposition began (d) then to exhibit those peculiarities which it has ever since (e) possessed; and our fathers (d) then became emphatically islanders, (f) in their politics, (a) feelings, and (a) manners, and (30 a) not merely in their geographical position." (a) Repeat the Pronominal Adjective, (b) Express the emphatic "only that" by beginning the sentence thus: "It is in that portion of our annals &c." (c) Omit. (d) "It was then that &c." (e) Use words implying something more marked than "disposition," and more forcible than "possessed;" in the latter case, "retained." (f) Repeat "islanders." "(a) He was the universal (54) favourite of (54) all (8) who knew him, and cemented many friendships at this period, (a) (33) (moving in the highest circle of society, and, as he (b) (50) had a (4 a) certain property, being independent of the profits of literature), and soon completely extinguished the breath of slander which at the outset of his career had threatened to sap the foundations of his reputation." (a) Begin "Moving in &c." (b) "rendered independent of … by &c." Show that Rule (14) is violated by the metaphors. "The outward and material form of that city which, during the brief period which (10 a) is comprised in our present book, reached the highest pitch of military, artistic, and literary glory, was of this (a) (15) nature. The progress of the (b) (5) first has been already traced." (a) Begin the sentence with "Such was." (b) By "the first" is meant "military glory." "The detachment not only failed to take the fort, (30) spite of their numbers and the weakness of the garrison, but also to capture the small force that was encamped outside the town, and was, after some sharp fighting, driven back with inconsiderable loss." Point out the ambiguity. Remedy it by inserting either "which," or "the assailants." "(a) (b) Believing that these reforms can only (c) (21) be effected as public opinion is prepared for them, and that (5) this will be more or less advanced in different localities, the Bill of the Association, (a) (31) which has been for a (3) considerable period in draft, and will be introduced in the next Session of Parliament, provides for placing (d) (3) the control in regard to the points above-mentioned in the (3) hands of the ratepayers of each locality; the power to be exercised through representative Licensing Boards to be periodically elected by them." (a) Place the parenthesis first, as an independent sentence: "The Bill of the Association has been … Parliament." (b) What noun is qualified by "believing?" Write "In the belief." (c) "effected only so far as they are in accordance with public opinion, which &c." (d) "it, or, the Bill provides that the ratepayers … shall receive control … and shall exercise this control." "I think they are very (1) nice persons, for they kept me amused for a long (a) (11) time together yesterday by their (1) nice stories all about what they (b) have experienced in Japan, where they had been for (a) ever so long, and (c) (43) where they said that the natives ripped up their (d) (5) stomachs." (a) Mention some time. (b) "experiences" or "adventures." (c) "among other things, they told us &c." (d) "their own." "To contend for advantageous monopolies, which are regarded with a dislike and a suspicion (a) which daily (10 a) increases, (30) however natural it may be to be annoyed at the loss of that which one has once possessed, (15 a) is useless." (a) A compound adjective can be used, including "daily." "Upon entering the rustic place of entertainment to partake of some refreshment, my nerves were horrified by lighting on a number of boisterous individuals who were singing some species of harvest song, and simultaneously imbibing that cup which, if it cheers, also inebriates; and when, banished from their society by the fumes of the fragrant weed, I wended my way to the apartment which adjoined the one in which I had hoped to rest my weary limbs, I found an interesting assortment of the fairer sex, who were holding a separate confabulation apart from the revels of their rougher spouses." Write "village inn," "next room," &c., for these absurd circumlocutions. See (3). "When Burgoyne was born, in 1782, Napoleon and Wellington were both boys (11)." Napoleon studied at Brienne, Wellington at Eton. Mention this, and, in order to imply the boyhood, call Wellington "Arthur Wellesley." "An honourable friend of mine, who is now, I believe, near me—(38) to whom I never can on any occasion refer without feelings of respect, and, on this subject, (36) feelings of the most grateful homage; (38) whose abilities upon this occasion, as upon some former ones, are not entrusted merely to the perishable eloquence of the (a) day, but will live to be the admiration of that (a) hour when all of us are mute and most of us forgotten: (b) (38) has told you that prudence is (52) the first of virtues, and (52) can never be used in the cause of vice." (a) Though "of the day" is a recognized expression for "ephemeral" or "transitory," yet to use "day" for a short time, and "hour" for a longer, is objectionable. Write moment for day. Else write future for hour. (b) "—this gentleman has told &c." "To see the British artisan and his wife on the Sabbath, neat and clean and cheerful, with their children by their sides, (a) (19) disporting themselves under the open canopy of heaven, is (15) pleasant." (a) There is no reasonable ground for mistaking the sense here, as the context makes it clear; but since Lord Shaftesbury was questioned whether he meant disporting to qualify "artisan and his wife" or "children," write "and, by their sides, their children disporting &c." "Even if (a) it were attended with extenuating circumstances, such conduct would deserve severe reprobation, (b) and it is the more called for because it would seem that (c) it was the intention of the author of the crime, in perpetrating (e) it, to inflict all the misery that was possible, upon his victim." See (5). (a) Omit "it were." (b) "which." (c) "to have been." (d) Express "author of the crime" in one word. (e) Use the noun. "The (a) (1) observance of the heavenly bodies must have been attended with great difficulties, (b) (30) before the telescope was (a) (1) discovered, and it is not to be wondered at if the investigations of astronomers were often unsatisfactory, and failed to produce complete (a) (1) persuasion, (30) (15, a) under these disadvantages." (a) What is the difference between "observance" and "observation," "discover" and "invent," "persuasion" and "conviction"? (b) Begin "Before &c." "He plunged into the sea once more, (30) not content with his previous exertions. After a long and dangerous struggle, he succeeded in reaching a poor woman that was crying piteously for help, and (a) (35) was at last hauled safely to shore." (a) Point put and remedy the ambiguity by inserting "he" or by writing "who," according to the meaning. "Sir John Burgoyne himself, face to face with Todleben, became (a) (1) conscious of the difference between the fortifications of San Sebastian and of Sebastopol, (b) which (10 e) was (c) (12) very weak compared with Metz or Paris." (a) What is the exact meaning of conscious? (b) Avoid the relative, by repeating the name, with a conjunction, (c) "weakness itself." "Upon Richard's leaving the (c) stage, the Commonwealth was again set up; and the Parliament which Cromwell had (a) broken was brought together; but the army and they fell into new disputes: so they were again (a) broken by the army: and upon that the nation was like to fall into (b) (11) great convulsions." (a) Modern Eng., "broken up." (b) "violently convulsed." (c) It is a question whether this metaphor is in good taste. The meaning is that Richard "retired from public life." It might be asserted that Richard, the Commonwealth, the Parliament are regarded as so many puppets on a "stage." But this is extremely doubtful. Make Parliament the principal subject: "When Richard retired … and when the Commonwealth &c…. the Parliament was … but, falling into a dispute with &c., it was…." See (18) and (43). "What a revolution in the military profession! He began with (a) (11) unnecessary formality, and (b) (11) inefficient weapons, and ended with (c) (b) (11) greatly improved fire-arms." (a) "pig-tail and pipe-clay." (b) "Six-pounders and flint-locks" are now inefficient compared with "twenty-four-pounders and breech-loaders." (c) Something is wanted antithetical to (a), perhaps "loose drill" or "open order." "Children fear to go in the dark. Men fear death in the same way. The fear of children is increased by tales. So is the fear of death. The contemplation of death, as the 'wages of sin,' and passage to another world, is holy and religious. The fear of it, as a tribute due unto nature, is weak. In religious meditations on death there is sometimes mixture of vanity and of superstition." Insert connecting adverbs or conjunctions. See (44). "I have often heard him reiterate (54) repeatedly that he would never again, if a safe (54) and secure path was open to him, prefer the perilous (54) road of danger, however alluring (54) and attractive the latter might be." "I thought in my dream that when my friend asked me whether I did not observe anything curious in the conduct of the pigeons, I (a) (4 a) remarked that if any one of the birds was so bold as to take an atom from a heap of grain in the midst of them, (31) (which (b) a detachment guarded, and which, being continually increased and never eaten, seemed useless), all the rest turned against him and pecked him to death for the (c) (50) action." (a) Point out the ambiguity. (b) This should come earlier in the sentence, and not as a parenthesis. "I noticed a heap of grain in the midst of them, guarded by … Being continually …, to all appearance, useless: yet." (c) "theft." "If this low view of the royal office becomes generally adopted, then sovereigns who (8) have always hitherto commanded the respect of Englishmen will by degrees fall into disrespect." Point out the ambiguity. Show how it might be removed (a) by punctuation, (b) by altering "who." "I struck the man in self-defence. I explained this to the magistrate. He would not believe me. Witnesses were called to support my statements. He committed me to prison. He had the right to do this. It is a right that is rarely exercised in such circumstances. I remonstrated." See (44). Insert conjunctions or connecting adverbs. "He attained a very distinguished position by mere (15) perseverance and common sense, which (52) (10 a) qualities are perhaps mostly underrated, (30) though he was deficient in tact and not remarkable for general ability." "Vindictiveness, which (a) (50) is a fault, (b) and which may be defined as anger (10 a) which is caused not by sin nor by crime but by personal injury, ought to be carefully distinguished from resentment, which (a) (50) is a virtue, (b) and which is anger (49) which is natural and (c) right caused by an act (d) which is unjust, because it is unjust, (30 a) not because it is inconvenient." (a) "The fault of vindictiveness;" "the virtue of resentment." (b) Omit (c) "Right" cannot be used as an adjective, but "righteous" can. (d) "an act of injustice." "(a) He told his friend that (a) his brother was surprised that (a) he had given so small a contribution, for (a) he was (b) (12) a very rich man, in spite of (a) his recent losses and the bad state of trade, (19) (30) compared with himself." (a) Use (6). (b) What Asian king was proverbial for wealth? "(a) (15 b) It must be indeed wrong to (a) crucify a Roman citizen if to (b) (32) slay one is almost parricide, to (b) scourge him is a monstrous crime, and to (b) bind him is an outrage." (a) "What must it be…?" (b) See (40). "The universal (54) opinion of all the citizens was that the citadel had been (15) betrayed, (30) having been captured in broad daylight by a very small number of the enemy, and those unprovided with scaling ladders, and admitted by a postern gate, (15 a) and much wearied by a long march." In any case "betrayed" must come at the end of a sentence. The sentence may be converted into two sentences: "The citadel had been captured…. Naturally therefore …;" or, "The opinion … for it had been captured…." Else, if one sentence be used, write "As the citadel had been captured &c." "This author surpassed all those who were living (a) at the same time with him in the forcible (b) manner in which he could address (c) an appeal to the popular sympathy, and in the ease with which he could draw towards (a) himself the hearts of his readers." (a) Express in one word. (b) "force with." (c) Omit. "This great statesman was indeed a pillar of commerce, and a star in the financial world. He guided or impelled the people from the quicksands of Protection and false political economy to the safe harbour of Free Trade; and (a) (14 a) saved the country several millions." (a) It would be well to literalize the preceding metaphors. Else the literal statement must be changed into a metaphor. "The ministers were most unwilling to meet the Houses, (a) (43) (51) because even the boldest of them (though their counsels were lawless (15) and desperate) had too much value for his (b) (11) personal safety to think of resorting to the (c) (12) unlawful modes of extortion that had been familiar to the preceding age." (a) Begin a new sentence with "Lawless and desperate though their counsels had been &c." (b) "neck." (c) Insert some of these unlawful modes, "benevolences, ship-money, and the other &c." "We will not (a) (15) pretend to guess what our grandchildren may think of the character of Lord Byron, as exhibited in (15 a) his poetry." No writer ever had the whole eloquence of scorn, misanthropy, and (a) (15) despair (15 a) so completely at his command. That fountain (b) (12) of bitterness was never dry." (a) "We will not pretend to guess" and "despair" are intended by the author to be emphatic. (b) "Marah." "The captain asked to be allowed fifty men, a supply of food, and one hundred and fifty breech-loaders. (44) The general replied coldly that he could not let his subordinate have (a) (4) anything that he wanted. (44) The captain was forced to set out (34) with an insufficient force, spite of the superabundance of soldiers doing nothing in the camp (34), and with every obstacle put in his way by a general who from the first had resolved not even to give him ordinary assistance, (b) (10 a') which the captain had for some time anticipated." (a) Point out and remove the ambiguity. (b) Write, according to the meaning, " … assistance that" or " … a resolution that." "I am a practical man, and disbelieve in everything (8) which is not practical; theories (a) which amuse philosophers and pedants have no attractions for me, (30) for this reason." (a) What difference in the meaning would be caused by the use of "that" for the second "which"? "Yet, when that discovery drew no other severity but the (11 a) turning (a) him out of office, and the (11 a) passing a sentence (b) condemning him to die for it (31) (which was presently pardoned, and he was after a short confinement restored to his liberty), all men believed that the king knew of the letter, (c) (43) and that (6 b) the pretended confession of the secretary was only collusion to lay the jealousies of the king's (d) (11 a) favouring popery, (e) (43) which still hung upon him, (30) notwithstanding his (e) writing on the Revelation, and his (e) affecting to enter on all occasions into controversy, (e) asserting in particular that the Pope was Antichrist." (a) "expulsion from." (b) "a pretended sentence to death—a pretence that was soon manifested by his pardon and liberation." (c) Begin a new sentence: "'The secretary's pretended confession,' it was said, 'was &c.'" (d) "the suspicion that the king favoured Popery." (e) The juxtaposition of the two verbal nouns, "writing" and "affecting," with the participle "asserting," is harsh. Write, "For, notwithstanding that he affected controversy, and attacked the Pope as Antichrist in his treatise on the Book of Revelation, the king was still suspected." "The opinion that the sun is fixed was once too (a) (1) universal to be easily shaken, and a similar prejudice has often (b) rendered the progress of new inventions (15 a) very slow, (19) arising from the numbers of the believers, and not (36) the reasonableness of the belief." (a) Write "general." Show the absurdity of appending "too" to "universal." (b) What single word can be substituted for "rendered slow"? "The rest of the generals were willing to surrender unconditionally, (30) depressed by this unforeseen calamity; (4) only the young colonel, who retained his presence of mind, represented to them that they were increasing the difficulties of a position in itself very difficult (19) (15, a) by their conduct." "To (a) (31) an author who is, in his expression of any sentiment, wavering between the (b) demands of perspicuity and energy (of which the (c) (40 a) former of course requires the first care, lest (40 a) he should fail of both), and (37) doubting whether the (d) phrase which (8) has (e) the most force and brevity will be (f) readily taken (g) in, it may (h) (3) be recommended to use both (d) expressions; first, (h) to expound the sense sufficiently to be clearly understood, and then (i) to contract it into the most compendious and striking form." (a) Write "When an author &c." (b) Can be omitted. (c) Assimilate the constructions: "Of which the former must, of course, be aimed at first, lest both be missed." (d) Use "expression" or else "phrase" in both places. (e) Assimilate the construction to what follows; write "that is most forcible and brief." (f) Insert "also." (g) "understood." (h) "let him use …; first let him expound." (i) Omit. "When I say 'a great man,' I not (22) only mean a man intellectually great but also morally, (38) who (8) has no preference for diplomacy (a) (23) at all events which (10 a) is mean, petty, and underhanded to secure ends which (8) can be secured by an honest policy equally (20) well, (38) who (8) does not resemble Polonius, (b) who prefers to get at truth by untruthful tricks, and (b) who considers truth a carp which (10 g) is to be caught by the bait falsehood. We cannot call a petty intriguer great (c), (30) though we may be forced to call an unscrupulous man by that (15 a) name." (a) "at all events no preference." (b) Why is who right here? If you like, you can write, "does not, like Polonius, prefer … and consider." (c) End with "we cannot give the name to a petty intriguer." "I regret that I have some (a) (3) intelligence which (10 a) is of a most (3) painful nature, and which I must tell you at once, though (b) I should like to defer it on (c) (40 a) account of your ill-health, and because (c) (40 a) you have already had many troubles, and (40 a) owing to the natural dislike which (8) a friend must always feel to say that (10 f) which is unpleasant. Many old friends in this district have turned against you: I scarcely like to write the words: only (21) I remain faithful to you, and I am sure you will believe that I am doing that (10 f) which is best for your interests." (a) "news." (b) In a letter these words should remain is they are; but if a period is desired, they must (30) come last, after "unpleasant." (c) Write "because of your ill-health … and the troubles … and because of…." "The general at once sent back word that the enemy had suddenly appeared on the other side of the river, and [(35) or (37)] then (a) retreated. (b) It was thought that (b) it would have shown more (c) (1) fortitude on his (3) part if he had attacked the fortifications, (d) which were not tenable for more than a week at all events. Such was the (54) universal opinion, at (23) least, of (54) all the soldiers." (a) Point out the ambiguity. (b) "It was thought he would have shown &c." (c) Distinguish between "fortitude" and "bravery." (d) What would be the meaning if "that" were substituted for "which"? It will be perhaps better to substitute for "which," "since they." "A notion has sprung up that the Premier, though he can legislate, cannot govern, and has attained an influence which renders it imperative, if this Ministry is to go on, that (a) it should be dispersed." (a) Who or what "has attained"? Write "and this notion has become so powerful that, unless it is dispersed…." "Those who are habitually silent (a) (3) by disposition and morose are less liable to the fault of exaggerating than those who are habitually (a) (3) fond of talking, and (40 a) of (a) (3) a pleasant disposition." (a) Each of these periphrases must be condensed into a single adjective. "This author, (a) (31) though he is not (b) altogether (c) guiltless of (b) occasional (c) faults of exaggeration, which are to be found as plentifully in his latest works as in those which he (d) published when he was beginning his career as an author, yet, notwithstanding these (e) defects, surpassed all those who were living at the (f) same time with him in the clear (g) manner in which he could, as it were, see into the feelings of the people at large, and in the power—a power that indeed could not be (f) resisted—with which he drew (f) toward himself the sympathy of those who (f) perused his works." See (54). (a) Convert the parenthesis into a separate sentence. (b) One of these words is unnecessary. (c) One of these is unnecessary. (d) Condense: "his earliest." (e) Omit these words as unnecessary. (f) Express all this in one word. (g) "clearness with." "Among the North (a) (23) American Indians I had indeed heard of the perpetration of similar atrocities; but it seemed intolerable that such things should occur in a civilized land: and I rushed from the room at once, leaving the wretch where he stood, with his tale half told, (30) horror-stricken at his crime." (a) Make it evident whether the speaker once lived among the North American Indians, or not, and show who is "horror-stricken." "His (1) bravery under this painful operation and the (1) fortitude he had shown in heading the last charge in the recent action, (30) though he was wounded at the time and had been unable to use his right arm, and was the only officer left in his regiment, out of twenty who were alive the day before, (19) inspired every one with admiration." Begin, "Out of twenty officers &c…. Though wounded &c…. he had headed." "The bravery he had then shown and…." "Moral as well as (41) other considerations must have weight when we are selecting an officer (a) that (10 b) will be placed in a position that will task his intelligence (b) (18) and his fidelity." (a) The repetition of "that" is objectionable. Use "to fill." (b) "and" can be replaced by some other conjunction to suit what precedes. "It happened that at this time there were a few Radicals in the House who (8) could not forgive the Prime Minister for being a Christian." Point out the difference of meaning, according as we read "who" or "that." "It cannot be doubted (15 b) that the minds of a vast number of men would be left poor shrunken things, full of melancholy and indisposition, and unpleasing to themselves, if (32) there were taken out of men's minds vain opinions, false valuations, imaginations as one (a) would, and the (15 a) like." (a) The meaning (which cannot easily be more tersely expressed than in the original) is "castles in the air," "pleasant fancies." "God never wrought a miracle to refute atheism, because His ordinary works refute it. (a) A little philosophy inclines man's mind to atheism: depth in philosophy brings men's minds back to religion. (44) While the mind of man looks upon second causes scattered, it may sometimes rest in them; (44) when it beholds the chain of them confederate and linked together, it must needs acknowledge a Providence. (44) That school which is most accused of atheism most clearly demonstrates the truth of religion." (a) Insert a suspensive conjunction. See (34). "The spirit of Liberty and the spirit of Nationality were once for all dead; (a) (5) it might be for a time a pious duty, but it could not continue always expedient or (c) (15) (18) profitable to (b) (13) mourn (c) (15 a) for their loss. Yet this is the (b) (13) feeling of the age of Trajan." (a) Omit. (b) "To sit weeping by their grave;" "attitude." (c) Notice that "expedient or profitable" are emphatic, as is shown by "yet" in the next sentence. Make it evident therefore, by their position, that these words are more emphatic than "to mourn &c." "(a) If we ask (15 b) what was the nature of the force by which this change was effected, (a) we find it to have been (b) the force that had seemed almost dead for many generations—(38) of theology." (a) Omit these words. (b) Begin a new sentence: "It was a force &c." "I remember Longinus highly recommends a description of a storm by Homer, because (a) (5) (c) he has not amused himself with little fancies upon the occasion, as authors of an inferior genius, whom he mentions, (b) (15 a) have done, (30) but (c) because he has gathered together those (d) (1) events which are the most apt to terrify the imagination, and (35) really happen in the raging of a tempest." (a) "The poet." (b) Omit "have done" and write "like some authors." (c) Suspend the sentence by writing "the poet … instead of … has." (d) What is the word for "that which happens around one, or in connection with some central object?" "To have passed (a) (3) in a self-satisfied manner through twenty years of office, letting things take their own course; to have (b) sailed with consummate sagacity, never against the tide of popular (c) judgement; to have left on record as the sole title to distinction among English ministers a peculiar art of (d) sporting with the heavy, the awful responsibility of a nation's destiny with the jaunty grace of a juggler (11) (e) playing with his golden ball; to have joked and intrigued, and bribed and (f) deceived, with the result of having done nothing (g), (h) either for the poor, (h) or for religion (for (i) which indeed he did worse than nothing), (h) or for art and science, (h) or for the honour or concord or even the financial prosperity of the nation, (38) is surely a miserable basis on which the reputation of a great (15) statesman can be (k) (15 a) founded." (a) "complacently." (b) "Sail" implies will and effort: use a word peculiar to a helpless ship, so as to contrast paradoxically with "sagacity." (c) Use a word implying less thought and deliberation. (d) With is too often repeated; write "bearing" so as to introduce the illustration abruptly. (e) "tossing." (f) Use a word implying a particular kind of "deceit," not "lying," but the next thing to "lying." (g) Insert the word with a preceding and intensifying adverb, "absolutely nothing." (h) Instead of "either," "or," repeat "nothing." (i) The parenthesis breaks the rhythm. Write "nothing, or worse than nothing." (k) "to found." "A glance at the clock will make you (1) conscious that it is nearly three in the morning, and I therefore ask you, gentlemen, instead of wasting more time, to put this question to yourselves, 'Are we, or are we not, here, for the purpose of (1) eliminating the truth?'" "The speech of the Right Honourable member, so far from unravelling (14) the obscurities of this knotty question, is eminently calculated to mislead his supporters (a) (8 a) who have not made a special study of it. It may be (b) (23) almost asserted of every statement (8) which he has made that the very (1) converse is the fact." (a) The meaning appears to be, not "all his supporters," but "those of his supporters who:" the convenience of writing "his supporters that" is so great that I should be disposed to use "that." (b) "Every," not "asserted," requires the juxtaposition of "almost." "The provisions of the treaty which (8) require the consent of the Parliament of Canada await its assembling." Point out the meaning conveyed by which, and by that. "Mrs. Smith demonstrated (26), in opposition to the general dictum of the press, that (a) there had been a reaction against woman's suffrage, that there had really been a gain of one vote in the House of Commons." (a) Substitute "instead of," and erase the second "that." "The practice of smoking hangs like a gigantic (14 a) cloud of evil over the country." FOOTNOTES: [18] That which treats of the thirteenth century. About HackerNoon Book Series: We bring you the most important technical, scientific, and insightful public domain books. This book is part of the public domain. Edwin Abbott Abbott (2007). How to Write Clearly: Rules and Exercises on English Composition. Urbana, Illinois: Project Gutenberg. Retrieved https://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/22600/pg22600.html This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at , located at . www.gutenberg.org https://www.gutenberg.org/policy/license.html