Too Long; Didn't Read
PHP is the staple food of a million mediocre web programmers with zero prior experience with it. But reading the docs does not generate code, the ultimate measure of our progression. The first Eloquent query felt like “look ma, no hands” It had some syntactic errors, though, though. I left out a few parens accidentally. The database looks decent. Enough to replace the query, with a few lines of code. I checked the database. I was wrong and the query was right. But I remembered the test setUp called a couple of model factories. Where are those records? Gone with the wind?