**Help Wanted: seeking a mythical cryptocurrency creature**
-----------------------------------------------------------

*   Wakes up every morning with the balls to dress like [Vitalik Buterin](https://medium.com/@VitalikButerin) at TechCrunch Disrupt.
*   Texts with [Satoshi Nakamoto](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satoshi_Nakamoto) from a burner phone (usually about the weather.)
*   Knows the secret Somerville, MA phone line to the [Poloniex](https://medium.com/@Poloniex) people.
*   Invested in a [cryptocurrency](https://hackernoon.com/tagged/cryptocurrency) in 2003. Actually, created the term cryptocurrency in 1996. Hell, thought about cryptocurrency in 1964.
*   Memorized this [cburniske](https://medium.com/@cburniske) [valuation equation](https://medium.com/@cburniske/cryptoasset-valuations-ac83479ffca7), and can recite it backwards.
*   Is a Miner. Like, for coal. Wears a hardhat with stickers and everything.
*   Snake-hisses at any mention of Jamie Dimon.
*   Sells [Cointelegraph](https://medium.com/u/e1b55f984167) illustrations on the dark web.
*   Reincarnated from first life as a feline. Specifically, [ex-Mt. Gox CEO’s cat, Tibane](https://www.reuters.com/article/us-bitcoin-mtgox-karpeles-insight/at-mt-gox-bitcoin-hub-geek-ceo-sought-both-control-and-escape-idUSBREA3K01D20140421).
*   Developed a proprietary cold storage solution that is fully refrigerated.
*   Does Olaf’s hair. No mousse.

If you’re a fit, contact us by writing a smart contract into [Ethereum](https://hackernoon.com/tagged/ethereum)…

> [or tweet this.](https://ctt.ec/72A57)

**I’m about to ICO a Token for Medium clapping. Clap below if you want to get in on the presale.**

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