**Help Wanted: seeking a mythical cryptocurrency creature** ----------------------------------------------------------- * Wakes up every morning with the balls to dress like [Vitalik Buterin](https://medium.com/@VitalikButerin) at TechCrunch Disrupt. * Texts with [Satoshi Nakamoto](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satoshi_Nakamoto) from a burner phone (usually about the weather.) * Knows the secret Somerville, MA phone line to the [Poloniex](https://medium.com/@Poloniex) people. * Invested in a [cryptocurrency](https://hackernoon.com/tagged/cryptocurrency) in 2003. Actually, created the term cryptocurrency in 1996. Hell, thought about cryptocurrency in 1964. * Memorized this [cburniske](https://medium.com/@cburniske) [valuation equation](https://medium.com/@cburniske/cryptoasset-valuations-ac83479ffca7), and can recite it backwards. * Is a Miner. Like, for coal. Wears a hardhat with stickers and everything. * Snake-hisses at any mention of Jamie Dimon. * Sells [Cointelegraph](https://medium.com/u/e1b55f984167) illustrations on the dark web. * Reincarnated from first life as a feline. Specifically, [ex-Mt. Gox CEO’s cat, Tibane](https://www.reuters.com/article/us-bitcoin-mtgox-karpeles-insight/at-mt-gox-bitcoin-hub-geek-ceo-sought-both-control-and-escape-idUSBREA3K01D20140421). * Developed a proprietary cold storage solution that is fully refrigerated. * Does Olaf’s hair. No mousse. If you’re a fit, contact us by writing a smart contract into [Ethereum](https://hackernoon.com/tagged/ethereum)… > [or tweet this.](https://ctt.ec/72A57) **I’m about to ICO a Token for Medium clapping. Clap below if you want to get in on the presale.**