There are two types of people at work - those who like to make commitments and others who like to keep them. People who like to make commitments feel good about saying “yes” to many things without paying much attention to how those things fit into their schedule, the value they add, or the time and energy they need to actually fulfill their commitments. They hardly realize that their casual attitude without thoughtful consideration causes a lot of inconvenience and annoyance to those who depend on them. On the other hand, people who like to keep commitments are careful about their choices. They understand that doing something always comes at the cost of not doing something else. So, they carefully evaluate their priorities and say “yes” to only a few things. Identifying what adds value to them and to others and taking time to actually fulfill their commitments builds trust, creates strong relationships, and makes the other person feel valued and respected. It’s what Art Turock says is the difference between interest and commitment - When you’re interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstances permit. When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results. Think for a moment. Who would you much rather work with: A person who says yes to you every time, but hardly keeps up their promises or who doesn’t hesitate to say no, giving you an option to evaluate other alternatives. Someone who makes you follow up multiple times to get something done or the one who pays attention and gets things done. A person who takes so much of your time and energy that you repent asking them or the one who makes you trust your decision. As more and more work is geared towards active collaboration and meaningful contribution, people who stand out at work are the ones who take their commitments seriously. You won’t find these people complaining about too much work or doing too many things and still not getting the outcomes they expect. You won’t find them struggling to focus or being distracted by the overwhelming demands and expectations others have from them. Not because they have less work to do or they commit too little. Rather, they get more done. With their priorities straightened out, their time and energy go into doing great work and making things happen. They focus on fulfilling their commitments as opposed to spending time finding excuses or justifying their outcomes. In the process, they not only create value but feel valued too. They have better relationships because others trust them more. They are able to achieve their goals. They feel more in control of their decisions. Every contribution adds a deposit to their personal account. With every value addition, more and more trust, respect, and appreciation are earned. The positive energy from such collaborations creates a culture of excellence. What about you? Do you take your commitments seriously? Think about your past month’s commitments - how many did you commit, and how many did you actually fulfill? Why did you not fulfill some of these commitments: They weren’t important. You said “yes” to inconsequential activities. They were difficult. You feared the outcome. You worked on other tasks. Were they more important than your original commitments or you simply didn’t prioritize them right? You committed more than you could handle. Whatever the reason, I can guarantee that making promises and not keeping them would have led to frustration, feelings of inefficacy, and even damaged your reputation. We have in our power the ability to perform the slow but necessary work of turning visions into projects, values into practices, and strangers into neighbors. But only if we commit - Pete Davis By incorporating simple practices in your decision-making process, you can not only make commitments that add value to you, your career, and your organization, but you can keep them too. Steps to make commitments and keep them too Step 1: What’s this about? The first question helps you clarify the nature of work - what is it exactly asking you to do? Without asking this question, we tend to make assumptions or delay asking for details. Either way, not understanding fairly well what we are committing to do, we tend to underestimate the effort it will actually take to complete it. Consider this. A colleague asks you for help at work. But all they tell you is *“Can you please help me with this really small task?”*and you promptly say “yes” only to learn later that the task is not really small and you can’t really put in the effort it takes to do it due to other commitments. Irrespective of your intentions when you said a yes, reverting on your decision later will lead to hurt feelings, loss of trust, and some very bad feelings. By asking the question upfront, you can save yourself the embarrassment and the pain that may come from turning on it later. Step 2: Who is it for? This question helps you consciously put the person at the front of your decision. Believe it or not, some people will try to manipulate you into doing things for them or try to take advantage when you have a reputation for getting things done. You need to be wary of such people and their requests. Take a moment to think about their intentions. Do you trust them? How has been your experience with them in the past? Have they ever tried to take credit for your efforts? Thinking about the person who’s making the request helps you consciously prioritize work where you not only get an opportunity to add value but trust that others appreciate your efforts too. Not paying attention to toxic coworkers can lead to feelings of cynicism, despair, and other negative emotions that can hurt your ability to focus and make active contributions. Step 3: Is it important? We rarely ask this question. Just because someone else thinks the work is important does not automatically make it so. Whether it’s your boss or a colleague, asking this question helps you clarify how the work fits within the goals of your team and your organization. It helps you position it mentally and evaluate the scope in the context of your other priorities. Knowing the importance also allows you to make adjustments, ask better questions and take your decision seriously. You wouldn’t want to say no to something that’s critical for your organization even if it means shifting other priorities. Step 4: What’s the cost of doing it? We all have the same 24 hours in a day. Saying yes to something unconsciously deprioritizes something else. You may not realize it at the moment, but there’s always an opportunity cost involved. Planning to take on an additional interview every week? Thinking about mentoring for an hour each day? Kicking off a side project to learn a new coding language? Whatever it is, being conscious about what you are bringing to your schedule and what you are leaving behind can enable you to make the right decision for yourself and others. It can help you put all your energy into fulfilling your commitments as opposed to doing them half-heartedly or skipping them because you don’t feel invested in those decisions. Step 5: What’s the cost of not doing it? Thinking about the cost of not doing something is as important as thinking about the cost of doing it. What will be the impact of saying no to your boss or someone higher up in the organization? How will saying no impact your relationship with your team members? How much time will it save another person? This form of inverse thinking will challenge you to explore your priorities from a different angle. Choosing to make the right commitments isn’t always about optimizing every minute of your time. It’s about doing work that generates more value in the ecosystem. It involves mentoring and coaching. It involves learning from each other. It involves taking time to forge a bond and build better relationships. It involves building trust in your own abilities and trusting others with theirs too. Step 6: How does it align with my current plans? There will be some commitments you would have already made and others that will show up as opportunities later. Since you can’t predict the future, it’s difficult to know whether a better opportunity will come along. The best you can do at any moment is to evaluate the new opportunity or request in the context of your current commitments and your future goals. Does the request align with your goals? How does it fit into the plans you have already made? What changes would you have to make if you decide to incorporate it? Is it worth making adjustments to your current plan? By asking these questions proactively, you can evaluate the benefits of accepting the request against the cost of letting it go. Step 7: What could be my reason for saying no? This question is another inversion tactic to delay saying yes as a default response to whatever shows up. Thinking about your reasons for saying a no makes you embrace discomfort. It helps you ask questions that you would otherwise be unwilling to ask. It creates a defense against your natural response system that fears saying a no and is tempted to accept everything that comes up. A solid reason for saying a no should be a strong indicator that it might not be a good idea to make this commitment. Step 8: After taking everything into account, what’s my final decision? Putting all the questions together and weighing in on the responses, what’s your final decision? Your final decision may not be the best one. However, in the larger scheme of things, it doesn’t really matter. What matters more is that you fulfill what you prioritized. Commitment means that when you do (inevitably) stumble or get off track, you pick yourself up, find your bearings, and carry on in the direction you want to go - Russ Harris Consciously making a choice helps you feel in control. It gives you the power to overcome the challenges and obstacles that may show up later. And most importantly, it enables you to keep your commitment. Summary People who succeed at work are the ones who make commitments and keep them too. To get good at the art of identifying which requests to accept and which ones to deny, you need to get good at asking yourself the right questions. Question 1: What’s this about? Take time to understand the effort involved and other details before making a commitment. Question 2: Who is it for? Prioritize working with people where you can add value and feel valued too. Question 3: Is it important? Ensure the work fits within the goals of your team and your organization. Question 4: What’s the cost of doing it? What would you need to give up to make space for this commitment? Question 5: What’s the cost of not doing it? Evaluate the impact of denying the request and ensure you are willing to live with it. Question 6: How does it align with my current plans? Be aware of the changes you would need to make if you decide to fulfill this commitment. Question 7: What could be my reason for saying no? Think about any strong reasons you might have for not taking it up. Question 8: After taking everything into account, what’s my final decision? Consciously opt-in or opt-out after weighing in the pros and cons of your decision. Previously published . here

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