Things I wish Someone Would Have Told Me About Freelancing Part Two: Maternity Leave Edition

Hello to all two of the people that read these (whenever I can find the time to write them). I’m here to continue my Freelancer series (I have a feeling this is going to be a LLOOOONNNGGGGG series of these, because I am pretty much figuring this stuff out as I go. Any major happenings that happen to occur in my life due to freelancing is usually what prompts these which is why this is only the second one that I’ve written. Anyway let’s get into this.

Backstory

Benjamin Grimm Duke

About two months ago this little wonder fell out of my body after nine grueling months of growing him. The day he was born was a long and busy one, not only did I not get sleep the night before (I was working), I was already exhausted and burned out from the weeks before, not sleeping, being in and out of the hospital for what I thought was the big day, working on side projects, studying and wrangling his three sisters and older brother (that’s right folks I got 5 kiddos). And I know what you’re thinking, and I’m right there with you, I’m about five seconds from sleeping in a different house to keep this from happening again, but on the other hand I make cute babies……and I don’t mean to brag buuutttttt

Dad is pretty easy on the eyes

My partner makes some cute babies too, and he’s a wonderful father who does what he can to provide. We’ve never had an issue with improving our situation when I pop out another offspring. Things might be tight for a little bit, but we’ve always been able to stretch to make room for another bundle of joy if (and when) the need arises. I would however like to say that I am closed for business for AT LEAST the next year so I can properly recoperate and drop the baby weight…I’m going off cantor here, let me bring it back.

When I got pregnant with Ben, I had a job, granted I was a contractor and if all went as planned, I would have been hired on permanently, unfortunately that didn’t happen (if you would like to know more please go dig through the old blog posts, I wrote about it about 6 months ago), and I was let go, no sooner than I was let go, I got picked up by not one, but two contracts. My mentor from my apprenticeship (Zee Spencer) and Operation Code snatched me up pretty much THE SAME WEEK I was let go, so I had no reason to think I should worry about money or anything like that. These two awesome entities saw an opportunity to help me out, and they did, and I’m grateful. HOWEVER, there were some things that I didn’t know before taking on both as a contractor about being an expectant parent (I put parent because this applies to guys too).

You Need Employment Insurance To Go On Maternity Leave

You pretty much need it for any medical leave, and as a contractor YOU FOOT THE BILL. This is because as a self-employed person you foot the bill for pretty much all of your expenses. Your taxes, your healthcare, and your equpiment and work area. Maternity leave is no exception, and you have to foot the bill to ensure that you can get the time off without starving to death. I was also told I could file for disability, but everywhere I tried to look for info on that, the wording was let’s say a bit vague as to how to go about it and what to do and how long it would last.

Whether You’re Freelancer Or Employee You Should Take Maternity Leave

Especially if you’re the one who the baby fell out of. I’m not saying take an entire year off, but it should probably be longer than a week, because I was only off for the three days I was in the hospital and the weekend after, and I completely burned out about two weeks ago (look for a future post) and it made it hard for me to focus on anything. I should have taken extra care to make time for leave because not only did I just have a baby, I still have 4 other kids to take care of on top of that.

Sleeping…for now……

Take Whatever Help You Can Get

Self explanatory, whether its folks offering to come help you clean some things or work some things out or even if they want to get you out of the house for a few minutes for some coffee. TAKE THE HELP. Don’t get caught up in the“I NEED MONEY I JUST HAD A BABY!” loop. Money isn’t more important than your well being or your sanity (I figured that out after experiencing that burn out a couple weeks ago, stay tuned folks).

REST

Take a break, get some air, walk the dog. Don’t keep your head in your keyboard, don’t go from baby to work to baby to work. Get sleep when the baby is sleeping, make sure you’re eating and do something for you every once in a while. Self care is important not only so that you can take of your new bundle, but so you can continue to do your job so it all doesn’t come crashing down and you got burned out and just do nothing.

If You Feel Depressed/Sad/Angry Talk To Someone

Don’t stuff it down. Some sadness and I’ll even say some depression is expected after having a baby. They call it baby blues and it’s normal, it’s your hormones rebalancing and you getting used to catering to a screaming blob of flesh pretty much all day every day. However if it’s prolonged (longer then about two weeks) you’re going to want to see a doctor because it’s probably post partum depression and that’s not something to ignore or mess around with.

Take Care Of Yourself

Make sure you’re eating, staying hydrated, still doing at least some of the things you liked to do before you took on being a parent and a contractor. Don’t get caught up in work and baby all the time, you’ll lose your mind if you do. Get baby snuggles, get some rest, pet the dog, play with your other kids if you have them, talk to your spouse/family/significant other. Don’t forget who you are or the things that you enjoyed doing before you had the baby. I bought an ergo wrap when I had my last kid, she didn’t like and I happened to have it when I had this one, I wrap him up to me and clean the house, work, draw and even play video games. I’ve done Google Hangouts with the kid sleeping in his wrap on camera.

Pair Programming

Remember, You Can Do This

Whenever you start to feel like you’re failing as a parent or a developer or a contractor, just remember that you can do it. Hell you’re so good at it, you’re doing it and you don’t even realize it. You’re going to get down on yourself ALOT, and you’re going to think that you’re not doing your best because you can’t devote all of your attention to your new baby because you gotta eat, and so do they, but I’m here to tell you, the fact that you feel that way makes you a pretty awesome parent in my book.

I’m Going To End It By Saying This

He’s pooping

Being a parent is challenging, and no one really knows what they’re doing. Coupling that with love/hate relationship that many of us develop with freelancing is not an easy task. There are no rule books that tell you what to do and how to do it, and it’s mostly because everyone handles it and works with it in their own way. There are some fundamental things that go without saying that you have to do (pay taxes, get health insurance and business insurance) and there are things that just sprout up out of NOWHERE and leave you guessing. You may not always come out on top when things like that occur (I have yet to, I think I can honestly say that) but it’s important to note that they way you handle things and knowledge and experience you gain is important, and it’ll help you through it if you encounter it again.

I’m pullin’ for ya……

SHAMELESS PROMOTION AREA:

Operation Code is on medium! go follow them!

Free Code Camp is AWESOME

David Molina Is the awesome founder of Operation Code! Follow him!

Deploy Is Operation code’s Software Consultancy Go follow them!

Like what I wrote? I have a patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ArtsyVet

My loving sister (@busterbrimstone on twitter) has gone through the trouble of creating a GoFundMe because I have two vehicles that have fallen into HORRIFIC disrepair. My husband’s car is falling apart and mine just doesn’t run AT ALL. I’m not one for asking for help, and she sprung this on me and now I have to share it, but she’s giving away iHeart radio tickets to a random benefactor if the campaign reaches it’s goal in time for the concert. If you donate even a buck you’re in the running it can be found here: https://www.gofundme.com/2zue96a8