The following extract exhibits examples of tautology and lengthiness

How to Write Clearly: Rules and Exercises on English Composition by Edwin Abbott Abbott, is part of the HackerNoon Books Series. You can jump to any chapter in this book here. BREVITY.

BREVITY.

SIR ARCHIBALD ALISON.

The following extract exhibits examples of tautology and lengthiness. The "implied statement" (50) can often be used as a remedy, but, more often, the best remedy is omission.

ORIGINAL VERSION. PARALLEL VERSION.

The Russian empire is (50) a Russia, with her vast strength and
state of (54) suchvast boundless resources, is obviously
strength and boundless destined to exercise on the course
resources,thatit is of history a great and lasting
obviously destined to make a influence. The slowness of her
great and lasting impression on progress only renders her
human affairs. Its (50) progress durability more probable. The
has been slow, but (5)it[37] is Russian Empire has not, like the
only on that account the more empires of Alexander the Great and
likely to be durable. (5)Ithas Napoleon, been raised to sudden
not suddenly risen to greatness, greatness by the genius of
like the empire of Alexander in individuals or the accidents of
ancient (19) (31), or that of fortune, but has been slowly
Napoleon in modern, times, from enlarged and firmly consolidated
the force of individual genius, or by well-guided ambition and
the accidents of (54) casual persevering energy,[38] during a
fortune, but has slowly advanced, long succession of ages.
and (40a) been firmly
consolidated (15)during a
succession of ages, from the
combined influence of ambition
skilfully directed and energy (15
a) perseveringly applied.

* * * * * * * * * *

The extent and fertility of the The extent and fertility of her Russian territory are such (54) territory furnish unparalleled as to furnish facilities of facilities for the increase of her increase and elements of strength population and power. European which no nation (47 a) in the Russia, that is, Russia to the world enjoys. European west of the Ural Mountains, Russia—that is, Russia to the contains one million two hundred westward of the Ural thousand square geographical Mountains—contains a hundred and miles, or ten times the surface of fifty thousand four hundred square Great Britain and Ireland. marine leagues, or about one million two hundred thousand square geographical miles, being ten times the surface of the British Islands, which contain, including Ireland, one hundred and twenty-two thousand. Great part, This vast territory is intersected no doubt, of this immense (54, by no mountain ranges, no arid see below) territory is covered deserts; and though much of it is with forests, or (40 a) lies rendered almost unproductive of so far to the north as to be food either by the denseness of almost unproductive of food; but forests, or by the severity of the no ranges of mountains or arid northern winter, yet almost all, deserts intersect the vast (54, except that part which touches see above) extent, and almost the Arctic snows, is capable of the whole, excepting that which yielding something for the use touches the Arctic snows, is of man. capable of yielding something for the use of man. The (3) (54) The steppes of the south present boundless steppes of the south an inexhaustible pasturage to present (54) inexhaustible those nomad tribes whose numerous fields of pasturage, and give and incomparable horsemen form the birth to those nomad tribes, in chief defence of the empire. whose numerous and incomparable horsemen the chief defence of the empire,[39] as of all Oriental states, (15 a) is to be found. The rich arable lands in the heart The rich arable lands in the of the (54) empire produce an interior produce grain enough to (2) incalculable quantity of support four times the present grain, capable not only of population of the empire, and yet maintaining four times (5) its leave a vast surplus to be present inhabitants, but affording transported by the Dnieper, the a vast surplus for exportation by Volga, and their tributaries, into the Dnieper, the Volga, and their the Euxine or other seas. tributary streams, (30) which form so many (54) natural outlets into the Euxine or other seas; (44) while the cold and Lastly, the cold bleak plains shivering plains which stretch stretching towards Archangel and towards Archangel and the shores towards the shores of the White of the White Sea are (48) covered Sea, and covered with immense with immense forests of fir and forests of oak and fir, furnish oak, furnishing at once (54)[40] materials for shipbuilding and inexhaustible materials for supplies of fuel that will for shipbuilding and supplies of fuel. many generations supersede the (54) These ample stores for many necessity of searching for coal. generations will supersede the necessity of searching in the (14 a) bowels of the earth for the purposes of (54) warmth or manufacture.

Formidable as the power of Russia Much as we may dread Russia for is from the vast extent of its the vastness of her territory and territory, and the great and of her rapidly increasing numbers, rapidly increasing number of there is greater cause for fear its (54) subjects, (5) it is in the military spirit and the still more (5) so from the docility of her people. military spirit and docile disposition by which they are (54)[41] distinguished. The prevailing (54) passion of the A burning thirst for conquest is nation is the (54) love of as prevalent a passion in Russia conquest, and this (54) ardent as democratic ambition in the free (54) desire, which (54) burns states of Western Europe. This as (54) fiercely in them as passion is the unseen spring[2] democratic ambition does in the which, while it retains the free states of Western Europe, is Russians in the strictest the unseen spring[42] which both discipline, unceasingly impels retains them submissive (54) their united forces against all under the standard of their adjoining states. chief and impels their accumulated forces in ceaseless The national energy, which is as violence over all the adjoining great as the national territory, states. The energies of the rarely wastes itself in disputes people, great as[43] the territory about domestic grievances. For all they inhabit, are rarely wasted in internal evils, how great soever, internal disputes. Domestic the Russians hope to find a grievances, how great soever, are compensation, and more than a (54) overlooked in the thirst for compensation, in the conquest of foreign aggrandizement. (15) In the world. the conquest of the world the people hope to find a compensation, and more than a compensation, (15 a) for all the evils of their interior administration.

FOOTNOTES:

[37] Apparently "it" means, not "progress," but the "Russian empire."

[38] Not "energy," but "a long succession of ages," needs to be emphasized.

[39] There is nothing in the context that requires the words, "as of all Oriental states."

[40] If they were really "inexhaustible," the "necessity of searching in the bowels of the earth" would be "superseded," not for "many," but for all generations.

[41] The words can be implied, and besides they are expressed in the following sentence.

[42] The metaphor is questionable; for a "spring," qua "spring," does not retain at all; and besides, "a passion" ought not to "burn" in one line, and be a "spring" in the next.

[43] The meaning appears not to be, "great as" (is), i.e. "though the territory is great."

THE END.

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