THE CLEAR SENTENCE

by Rose BuhligNovember 2nd, 2023

Too Long; Didn't Read

Business men like to talk of brevity. They tell you that a talk or a letter must be brief. What they really mean is that the talk or the letter must be concise; that it must state the business clearly in the fewest possible words. Don't omit any essential fact when you write, but don't repeat. If you can express an idea in ten words, don't use twenty. In a later exercise we shall meet the sentence, The size of the crops is always important, and it is especially so to the farmer, and this is because he has to live by the crops. The writer of that sentence was very careless. He had a good idea and thought that, if he kept repeating it, he would make it stronger. Just the reverse is true. The sentence may be expressed in a very few words: The size of the crop is vitally important to the farmer. If you wish to secure conciseness of expression, be especially careful to avoid joining or completing thoughts by these expressions: and, so, why, that is why, this is the reason, and everything. In this chapter we shall consider some of the larger faults that should be avoided in sentences. Exercise 197—Unity of the Sentence Give the definition of a sentence. How many thoughts may one sentence express? What is likely to happen when two thoughts are joined by and? What, then, is the danger in using the compound sentence? The compound sentence is good to use to express certain ideas, especially contrast; as, It is not work that kills men; it is worry. It is not the revolution that destroys the machinery, but the friction [but it is the friction]. The sentences which most clearly and easily give us one thought are the simple and the complex sentences. Compare the following sentences. Which of them leave one idea in your mind? The tongue is a sharp-edged tool. A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use. A sharp tongue is like an edged tool, and it grows keener with constant use.

Business English: A Practice Book by Rose Buhlig is part of the HackerNoon Books Series. You can jump to any chapter in this book here. THE CLEAR SENTENCE

THE CLEAR SENTENCE

If you wish to secure conciseness of expression, be especially careful to avoid joining or completing thoughts by these expressions: and, so, why, that is why, this is the reason, and everything.

In this chapter we shall consider some of the larger faults that should be avoided in sentences.

Exercise 197—Unity of the Sentence Give the definition of a sentence.

How many thoughts may one sentence express?

What is likely to happen when two thoughts are joined by and? What, then, is the danger in using the compound sentence?

The compound sentence is good to use to express certain ideas, especially contrast; as,

It is not work that kills men; it is worry.

It is not the revolution that destroys the machinery, but the friction [but it is the friction].

The sentences which most clearly and easily give us one thought are the simple and the complex sentences.

Compare the following sentences. Which of them leave one idea in your mind?

The tongue is a sharp-edged tool.

A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with constant use.

A sharp tongue is like an edged tool, and it grows keener with constant use.

Exercise 198

The following is wordy. Rewrite it, condensing as much as possible. Use simple and complex sentences rather than compound, expressing in each only one thought.

In the early summer the corn crop frequently seems to be very poor, and so reports begin to circulate that corn will be high in the autumn, but when the autumn really comes, Wall Street, that great center of business life, begins to see that the reports have been greatly exaggerated and that crops really will be very good, and so business begins to pick up. The size of the crop largely settles the volume of the next season's business, because so great a part of the world's business activity is made up of buying and selling the actual potatoes and corn and wheat and cattle or the products made from these, and when the crop is poor there are a great many people concerned, because they will be poor just as the crops are poor, and this applies to the farmer as well as to the dealer.

The size of the crops is always important, and is especially so to the farmer, and this is because he has to live by the crops. A man may be living in the city and working for a salary and begin to see that his work is not supporting him, and if he is an ambitious man, he will change his occupation. This the farmer cannot do because he has made an enormous investment; in the first place, he has invested in his land, and then in his seed and farm implements, and this investment often means all the available money the farmer has, and often it means a mortgage on his farm. He puts the mortgage on his farm in hope of getting a good crop, and when his hope is not realized, he is in trouble, because he may lose his whole farm if he cannot pay the installments of interest due on his mortgage; but then, on the other hand, if we consider the other side of the question, when the crop is large, the situation is altogether different. Even if the farmer has put a mortgage on his farm, he gets enough money from his produce to pay the debt of that mortgage, and he need not worry how he is to live during the next winter.

The town merchants depend on a good crop, because, if the farmer has not a good return from his fields, he will have almost no ready money, and so he cannot buy much clothing or household furnishings. In Iowa, for instance, there is a little town in the center of a corn-raising community, and it is here that the farmers congregate to do their buying, and in this town there is quite a large department store, and it is run by a woman. She does most of her buying in the autumn and she prefers to do it personally, and so she likes to make a trip to New York for the purpose, but she never sets out until she knows that the corn crop is good. And the reason for this is that she knows that it will cost her hundreds of dollars to make the trip East, to stay at a good hotel, and to spend the requisite length of time choosing her purchases at the different wholesale houses, and she knows that if there is no corn crop she will sell very few coats and hats and lace curtains, and it will never pay her to run up her expenses into the hundreds of dollars, but she will buy as best she can from the drummers, and buy only a little, and thus the size of the crop determines how much the farmer can buy, and, therefore, how much the wholesale and retail dealers can sell.

Exercise 199—Subordination in the Sentence

Sentences containing compound predicates may be made more direct in thought if one of the verbs is changed to a participle or an infinitive, because the predicate will then express only one action; as,

The carpenter threw down his hammer and walked out of the shop.
Throwing down his hammer, the carpenter walked out of the shop.
I went downtown and applied for the position.
I went downtown to apply for the position.

Change the following sentences so that one action is denoted by the predicate of each:

A teamster drove out of the alley east of the theater and swung his horses directly in front of a Madison street car
The tongue struck the front of the car and bored a hole in the fuse box.
The fire spread and burned the roof of the car.
The half dozen passengers were badly frightened and got out quickly.
Several people ran and turned in a fire alarm.
In a few minutes the fire engines arrived and began to fight the flames.
Crowds came from all directions and silently watched the flames.
The people poured out of the theater and cheered the firemen.
The half dozen passengers soon recovered and stood on the curbstone in the crowd.
The firemen did their work quickly and departed amid the cheers of the crowd.

Exercise 200—Combination of Short Sentences

Sometimes short sentences are bad because two or three of them are needed to express one complete thought. If that is the case, they should be combined, the most important detail being put into the principal clause, and the other details into modifiers, as in the preceding exercise.

Make use of—

Adjectives.
Adverbs.
Participial phrases.
Infinitives.
Relative pronouns.
Subordinate conjunctions.

Below, the first and second sentences together make one thought, which is expressed in the third.

John is a good reporter.

That is why he earns a good salary.

Because John is a good reporter, he earns a good salary.

Combine the sentences of each group below into a single sentence, either simple or complex, omitting as many words as possible but no ideas:

We stayed at home for two reasons: first of all, we thought Baltimore might be unpleasantly warm. Then, the other reason was that we thought we ought to economize.
In China the wedding takes place at the bridegroom's house. This has been decorated with strips of bright red paper, and they have the word "Hsi" on them. This means "Live in happiness."
First in the procession come the standard bearers. They are hired for the occasion. These men have red coats put on over their dirty clothes. The men they hire are usually beggars.
Six years ago I went sailing on Lake George with my father. I was ten years old at that time. Two other men went along with us. The boat that we went in belonged to my father and these men.
The wind was high and it would come in gusts. This made it hard to sail. It shifted the sails so quickly that it would throw the boat over on one side.
Several times the boat leaned over at an angle of forty degrees. This let the water come in on that side. When this happened, we all had to jump to the other side. We did this so that the boat would right itself.
The heart is the most important organ in the body. This is because if the heart stops beating, you cannot live. Besides, all the other organs are connected with it. It is something like the main spring in a watch.
This is a good machine. And since that's the case, I don't see why it is that it doesn't work as it should.
In every business there are many bad debts. Some can be collected and others cannot be. This is because the men who made them were given credit, and they didn't have any money.
The night was dark, and there were no stars. The fishermen stood on the shore, and they gazed at the wild sea. A storm had arisen, and they could not go out in their boats.

Exercise 201

As in the preceding exercise, rewrite the following, omitting as many words as possible, but no ideas. Use shorter, simpler expressions wherever possible.

1 Uncle Sam now has an aerial navy, but it's a small one, and foundations of it were recently laid. This was done when contracts were signed for the delivery of three aeroplanes and they are the first aeroplanes that the United States bought. These aeroplanes are of the latest development. They are all capable of rising from land or water. They are able also to land on water or on the deck of a ship, and they can carry at least one passenger and are equipped with wireless outfits. Two of them are Curtis machines and the third is a Wright, and they ranged in price from $2,700 to $5,500.

2 The United States produces more steel than any two European countries, and it is continuing to produce more. Moreover, it has the productive capacity to produce more than any other three or four countries put together. This capacity is being still further increased. At the present time, there is one very important steel company. It is very large, and seems to wish to monopolize the entire iron and steel industry. Even at this time it owns half the principal plants that are now producing steel and iron, and controls half the trade of the entire steel and iron industry, and when such a thing happens, it is a matter of international concern.

3 Condense the following into a single sentence, either simple or complex:

The iron and steel industry is very important, and it includes a great deal. First, the ore has to be mined, and then the work includes everything up to making the finest wire for musical instruments. Or, to put it another way, you can say from smelting[205] the ore to building a battle ship. This is a very interesting occupation and, as said before, very important. There is hardly anything more interesting or important except agriculture.

Exercise 202—Dangling Expressions

Sometimes a sentence is not clear because it contains a participle which does not modify anything in the sentence. A participle is part verb and part adjective. As a verb, it expresses the idea of the verb from which it is derived. As an adjective, it must modify a noun or a pronoun. The important point is that this noun or pronoun must be expressed in the sentence and not lie in the mind of the writer, as it does in the following:

Riding from Saugatuck to Holland last year, the country showed unmistakable signs of lack of rain.

Here the writer means, We saw that the country, etc., but he says that the country rode from Saugatuck to Holland.

Again, an expression may be used which is really an incomplete clause. Do not use such a clause, unless the understood subject is the same as the subject expressed in the independent proposition.

Wrong: When almost exhausted, the camp was reached. Right: When almost exhausted, we reached the camp. Recast the following sentences, correcting the dangling expressions:

You should not stop studying your lessons until thoroughly prepared.
In talking to the postman yesterday, he said that his route had been changed.
Owing two months' rent, the foreman laid me off.
Before becoming a physician, the law sets a very severe examination.
Having eaten our luncheon very hastily, the typewriters were soon clicking merrily again.
The difficulty could easily be settled, going about it in the right way.
Although determined to get my money, the task was harder than I had expected.
Having installed an adding machine, our office work could be done in half the time.
On entering the car, the first thing that caught my attention was the sign at the end.
Silk should be washed with warm water and a mild soap, being careful not to rub it.
The house was redecorated, making it clean and homelike.
The book should be carefully studied, reviewing each chapter after it is read.
Going to work this morning, an accident happened.
Having entered college, Mr. Brown watched his son's progress with pride.
Soon after abandoning the boat, it sank.
They say he will be lame, caused by a fall on the ice while skating.
While trying to break the half mile record, his back was injured.
Many people object to football, because in tackling the boys' hearts are weakened.
He did not wish to take up an extra study, thus lessening his chance of being eligible for athletics.
While a child, my father often told me stories of Indian days.
Absorbed all day in superintending his work, in the evening the newspaper brought him political news enough to fill the hours between dinner and bed-time.
Discussing the happenings in the ward with an old crony, his daughter would often sit near him listening.
He is failing in his work, caused by his laziness.
Although a good tonic, I did not gain weight while taking it.
In the new telephone, upon lifting the receiver, a ticking sound is heard.
Leaving the window open when she went to lunch, of course the papers were disarranged on her return.
Dictionaries must be returned to the desk after using.

Exercise 203—Pronouns with Uncertain Antecedents

Sometimes the meaning of a sentence is not clear because the pronouns have uncertain antecedents.

Sometimes a pronoun may refer to either of two antecedents; as,

Wrong: He gave his brother John the umbrella and then he left. Right: He gave the umbrella to his brother John, who then left.

2. Sometimes the sentence must be entirely recast and a direct quotation used before the pronouns can be made clear; as,

Wrong: Tom told his father that his suit case was lost. Right: a. Tom said, "Father, your suit case is lost."

b. Tom said, "Father, my suit case is lost."

3. Sometimes the pronoun refers to a word that has not been expressed or to an idea. In that case, the antecedent must be supplied; as,

Wrong: If any one wishes to contribute to the cause, let him send it in the enclosed envelope. Right: If any one wishes to contribute to the cause, let him send his contribution in the enclosed envelope.

Wrong: I wouldn't wear mittens. Nobody does that nowadays. Right: I wouldn't wear mittens. Nobody wears them nowadays.

4. A sentence containing an indefinite they or it is corrected thus:

Wrong: Don't they have street cars where you live? Right: Are there no street cars where you live?

Recast the following:

She asked her mother if she could go, and she said she thought she ought to stay at home.
John told James he was sure he did not know the office that he meant.
George told his father his watch had stopped.
The manager asked the clerk to bring his book.
A light touch is important in a typewriter, because it makes it easy to write upon it.
The size of the crops is important to the farmers, because they have to live by them.
They decided to reorganize the company, which is always a difficult task.
They went into the hands of a receiver, which is an indication that the affairs of the company had been poorly managed.
There is a boat on the lake over which there is a pleasant view, in which there is a club for working girls.
He stole some money which brought about an investigation.
She asked her aunt how old she was.
John is famous for telling anecdotes, and he got it by remembering every story he reads.
The sleighing party last night was a success, which is not always the case.
He told a lie, which is a bad thing to do.
They engaged a gardener, which doubled their monthly expenses.
Why don't you get some of that new fur trimming for your blue dress?
They had an accident on the street car this morning.
In the newspaper it said that the lecture would begin at 8:15.
They don't find iron in Illinois, do they?
Do they have the original paintings in our art gallery?
It says "Closed" on that door.
It doesn't mention a bank draft in this book.
They have a great many foreigners in New York City.
John accompanied his brother to the city where he bought a typewriter.
I had expected to take the 9:30 train, but I couldn't do it.
Going up to the horse he put a lump of sugar into his mouth.
In letter writing one should always be exact and arrange them in the customary form.
Those hooks are not rust-proof because the back of my dress is stained with it.
The telephone is a great convenience to all. They are now used in almost every house.
As we came down the road, it sounded like a train, which, as we approached, grew louder and louder.

Exercise 204—Misplaced Modifiers

Sometimes a sentence is not clear because a modifier does not stand close to the word it modifies.

Wrong: I can't even do the first problem. Right: I can't do even the first problem.

Change the order of words in the following sentences, placing each modifier as closely as possible to the word which it modifies. Some of the sentences are incorrect because they contain split infinitives. (See Exercise 92.)

I only waited for him about ten minutes.
She stood at the window, trying to close it with a troubled face.
The city is supplied with water from cold springs which flow nearly a hundred million gallons of the purest liquid that ever burst from the earth, daily.
The famous S. F. ice cream is made in this factory containing fifty per cent pure cream.
A man should not be allowed to cast a vote, who cannot read and write.
After taking the medicine for a short time, the appetite is improved, and a desire is created for food, that has not existed before.
In real value, this magazine towers head and shoulders over all others to the woman who is in charge of her home.
There are pages of fashion news and embroidery hints and news articles of the day that will appeal to the husband and father as the others do to the wife and daughter as well as departments for the children.
The number of the sewing machine is 37A with a drop head.
They neither are gentle nor well-mannered.
I only heard about the trouble yesterday.
He left the same station at which, thirty years before, he had arrived very humbly, in his own special car.
He urged his brother to buy a home in his letter.
The lighting system has been developed to a really remarkable degree of perfection for the trains.
The dynamo is so arranged that when the train is standing still or only traveling twenty miles an hour, the lamps are lighted from a storage battery.
The batteries must be large enough during the run to carry the entire lighting load.
Please send me 6 Dining Tables No. 46 that extend to ten feet as soon as possible.
Large trees grow on each side of the house which is a rambling affair shutting out the light.
They decided to give a bonus to the one doing the best work, amounting to fifty dollars.
We had almost got to the corner before we saw the fire.
I don't ever remember having seen so big a fire.
Remember to thoroughly oil the machine.
Do you need to in any way alter the machine?
If we expect to completely fill the order to-day, we need more help.

Exercise 205—Omission of Necessary Words

Sometimes a sentence is not clear because a word has been omitted that is necessary to the sense; as,

Wrong: The two officers that they elected are the president and secretary. Right: The two officers that they elected are the president and the secretary.

Wrong: His writing is as good or better than yours. Right: His writing is as good as or better than yours.

Wrong: The library is where we go to read. Right: The library is the place where we go to read.

State the difference between the following typewriter ribbons:

A red and blue and black ribbon.

A red and a blue and black ribbon.
A red and blue and a black ribbon.
A red and a blue and a black ribbon.

Supply the omitted part in each of the following:

I always have and I'm sure I always shall be considerate of others' feelings.
They have a stenographer and bookkeeper, who are kept busy all day.
I believe he has already or will soon begin the work.
The cushions of the rocker are much softer than the armchair.
The arrangement of your flat is much more convenient than our house.
The number of shelves in your sideboard is just the same as our china closet.
I think the articles you ordered will arrive as soon or sooner than you expect.
She is as tall or taller than you.
When your message arrived, I had already or at least had decided to begin cutting the goods.
It may not be better but it is fully as good as the other article.
I think you cook fully as well if not better than your sister.
His poems hold a place in our hearts second only to the Bible.
Your idea is as good if not better than mine.
We decided to make the change both for the sake of health and economy.
You will find the armchair fully as comfortable, if not more so, than the rocker.
The river is where we had the most fun.
I know you better than Mary.
She went to the park but I didn't care to.
We didn't object to the scheme as much as you.
A conservatory is where there are all kinds of flowers.

Exercise 206—Shift in Construction

Sometimes the meaning of the sentence is obscure because there has been a shift in construction. Do not change subject, person, tense, or any grammatical form without a good reason. Remember that and is a coördinate conjunction. If there is an adjective before and, there must be an adjective after it. If a clause precedes, a clause must follow. In other words, and joins two members of exactly the same structure. And may not join one word and a phrase, nor may it join a prepositional and a participial phrase. Both members must be alike. In the following extract, parallel constructions are used correctly. Be able to tell what kinds of elements are used and how they are parallel.

To eat your cake and keep it too; to wear a gown with the air of originality and distinction, and keep a full purse; to have your house display taste and refinement, and be praised as an economical housewife; to dress your children daintily, and save money for their education—use ABC transfer patterns. By their aid you can make an inexpensive waist look like a French blouse, have table linen of unrivaled elegance, and dress your babies in the most approved style. These patterns cost,—some ten, some fifteen cents. They cover the entire field of dress,—waists, tunics, panels, infants' clothes, underwear, men's apparel, and neckwear; and of household articles,—towels, table-linen, and pillow tops.

Recast the following sentences, correcting the shift of construction in each:

In the large department stores every clerk is to report on her way to lunch and coming back.
When one hears a cry of "Fire," your first thought is to run.
He seemed fond of his work and to have skill in doing it quickly.
I decided on taking the trip and to keep my expenses within fifty dollars if possible.
X Y Z Cleaner is good for softening water and other household uses.
Because of the rise in the price of meats and owing to the fact that grocers charge more for butter and eggs, people find it hard to live.
The office is well-heated and with plenty of light.
The crowds began to watch the fire and cheering loudly.
I heard the opera last year and have gone again this year.
It was wonderful to see how fast they worked and their accuracy.
I can't decide whether to take up stenography or if bookkeeping is better.
He taught us the principles of letter writing, and somewhat of advertising was taken up.
Hoping that the work progressed, and unless a landslide occurred, the Americans expected to remove 5,000,000 cubic yards each year.
The study of the earth has always been stimulated by two fundamental passions of humanity—a desire for wealth and because of their curiosity.
He insists on our taking the trip and to go without further delay.
In reviewing, it is well to go over each part of the course carefully, and you should make a note of every point which you do not understand, and let each ask those questions which he himself cannot answer.
Mr. Fitzmorris is a man of great technical skill and who has handled the situation capably.
It will cost her hundreds of dollars to make the trip East and spending the requisite length of time choosing her purchases at the different wholesale houses.
He had assumed control of the office, planned the advertising, and the finances were also directed by him.
We have decided to go on the excursion to the Capitol and at the same time visiting Uncle John.

Exercise 207

What prevents clearness in the following?

The Federal Government began an investigation into fire conditions in Europe in 1907, through our consuls.
It cost $2.39 a year for fire in the United States between 1901 and 1910, for every man, woman, and child, and Germany does not even pay nineteen cents.
The number of our fires is increasing, which is worse.
In ten years our population has increased 73 per cent and 134 per cent is the increase in fires.
Having considered the details, the conclusion is easily drawn that fire is a disgrace.
He only gets to the office at ten o'clock.
Having settled the plan of attack, the rest was simple.
The manager warned him not to make the mistake again and adding that mistakes are costly.
To keep flannels from shrinking, wash in the following way, and you will find it very satisfactory.
To open a fruit jar run a knife under the edge and it comes off easily.
I didn't even finish half the questions.
Electric lights are economical, clean, and give more light than gas.
You should buy your suit now, both for the sake of economy and style.
If in doubt as to the best word, a book of synonyms should be consulted.
The comma fault is where, two principal clauses are run together without a coördinate conjunction.

Rewrite the following so that it will be correct, concise, and clear:

The Europeans were anxious for trade with the East, for they were dependent upon them for spices and luxuries. The three routes were through the Mediterranean Sea, over the Suez Peninsula, down the Red Sea, and across to India. Another was through the Mediterranean and then through Arabia. The other was from the Mediterranean and then through the Black Sea and then by land to India. It became necessary to seek a new route because the Turks held Constantinople, and all vessels had to pass through the Mediterranean, and the Turks held this by pirates. The first explorers were working under the leadership of the King of Portugal, and they solved the problem by going around Africa and then to the Indies, but this was too long, and so explorers tried other ways, and the result was the discovery of America.

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